Instant Message of the Day

AOL's gay chat rooms are just that: gay. All the retards in there are just looking for sex. I like to "shake things up" a bit by stooping to their level and acting like a total dumbass. Here's a prime example of why I don't turn my IMs on more often.

Keyword Klatch & Link Updates: Vol. 2

Roughly about a month ago I posted a screen capture of the list of various words/phrases that people type into search engines that ultimately bring them to my blog. Well, get ready for more absurdity. As you can see I am still the King of Colonix (ugh). Without further ado, I give you: Keyword Klatch II

In addition, here are the most recent updates in the link categories (located in the left-hand column). I'm not sure if anyone ever really uses them, but they are as much for me as they are for you. If you haven't checked them out in a while, do so today. Lotsa fun stuff! Something for everyone.

And on a personal note, you'll notice one of the new links in the 'Personal' category is something called Blog Shares. Just for the record, I have no idea how this works or if my "blog shares" are even doing well. I like to tell myself they are doing wonderful, but then what do I know?

Art & Photography
-Al Hirschfeld
-Marc Varsenault
-Miniprint Finland

Beefcake
NEW Category

Blog Stuff
-Blog Bling
-Blogclicker
-Blog Ideas
-Blogrolling
-Free Image Hosting Sites
-IMGSpot
-Photobucket

Books & Magazines
-BlackBook Magazine
-Complex Magazine
-Vault 49

Celebs/Eyecandy
NEW Category

Erotica
-Busty Mousepads
-Obscure Sexual Terms
-Sexual Slang: Wikipedia

Food
-BigTome.com

Fun Stuff
-Bad Gas
-Holifestigala
-Pee In The Snow

Gay
-Lambda Shopping
-Free Pride Graphics

Movies & Television
-Classic Film Images
-Film Buff On Line
-Movies.com
-Picture Start 2004
-Recent Releases: Movie posters
-Something Weird DVD & Video
-Upcoming Movie Trailers
-Videomatica

Personal
-BlogShares
-KNON 89.3- One of my favorite radio stations

Pop Culture
-Blondie & Dagwood
-iMockery.com
-Modern Drunkard Magazine
-NobleWorks Inc.
-Novelty Toilet Seats
-Vintage Posters

Pulp & Kitsch
-Doc Savage Organized
-Pulp Feng Shui

Resources
-24/7 Downloads
-Calendar 2005
-Dictionary & Thesaurus
-Font Freak
-HTML Cheat Sheet
-HTML Cheat Sheet [Different site]
-HTML Goodies
-Language Translator [Free]
-Mac.org: Deciphering Mac errors
-Rhyming Dictionary
-SlangSite.com: Slang dictionary
-Starving Artists Law.com
-Worldometers.info
-ZSPC Super Color Chart

Spooky Stuff
-Friday The 13th: Where Are They Now?
-Hammer Horror Crypt
-The Hot Spot "Art of Horror" Gallery
-Upcoming Horror Movies.com

Time Machine
-1950s Ads
-Young Hollywood: 1970's

Prizes? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Prizes! ...Do We?

Well, the day has finally arrived. For those who may have been wondering "Where the hell is that raffle Kirk blogged about a month ago? Well, it's taken me a while to gather up all the prizes, take the photos, gather information and work out the specifics, but here they are:

The majority of books, DVDs, etc. are new and the rest are vintage and in lightly-used condition. Nothing in the raffle isn't in any condition I wouldn't own myself. In total, there are 12 hardcover books, 14 softcover books, 14 DVDs, 3 VHS and various assorted goodies sure to put a smile on your face. I've included a specific list of of the prizes included below. Unless otherwise noted, the item is a book. You can click on their prospective hyperlinks to read synopsis' of each item and/or, in some cases, take a peek inside the books.

Participating is simple ( I hope). Since this is a raffle, each "ticket" (read: chance) is $1*. You may enter as many times as you would like. The more "tickets" you buy, the more entries in the raffle, therefore increasing your chance of winning. I will post how many "tickets" have been sold each Friday, building up to the day I announce the winner on Tuesday, February 22nd.

I will be accepting payment either through PayPal (user name Kirkkitsch@aol.com) or via snail mail at:

Kirkkitsch
P.O. Box
Arlington, Texas

I ask that all entries be accompanied by the e-mail address you would like to use to be notified, should you win the raffle. In your notification e-mail you will be asked for the shipping address you would like the prize shipped to. For those whom may be concerned, your personal information will not be distributed or shared in any way. If there are certain items that you would prefer not to receive (i.e. the toys, gay-themed books, DVDs/VHS, candy, etc.) please let me know when sending your shipping information. No questions asked.

All proceeds will go towards the shipping/insurance costs of the prize. Should there be money left over I will use it towards future raffle prizes and/or giveaways. The raffle begins Monday, January 31st and runs through Monday, February 21st. This should be sufficient time for those who may opt to pay via snail mail. The latest date tickets can be purchased via PayPal are Feb. 21st and Feb. 14th for snail mail. Drawing will be held and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, February 22nd. The raffle will consist of me printing your name/online name on a small piece of paper, coinciding with how many "tickets" you purchased, placed inside a bag and chosen at random. The winner will receive everything shown in the accompanying scans plus some extra items not shown. Good luck!

* No coins, please. That's why God invented CoinStar. If you are unfamiliar with using PayPal, please send payment via snail mail. Partcipants outside the continental United States & Canada may be asked to contribute towards shipping costs should they prove to exceed raffle sales.

[ Click Images For More Detail ]




• Santa by Kathleen Paton (With free Christmas ornament inside!)
• Firebird by Mark Doty
• Glasses by Stewart, Tabori & Chang
• Marye Dahnke's Salad Book
• Campbell's Cooking With Soup
• Betty Crocker's Outdoor Cook Book
• Let's Go to the Beach by Elizabeth Van Steenwyk
• Polkabats and Octopus Slacks by Calef Brown
• Another Perfect Day by Ross MacDonald
• Fantastic Plastic by Pete Ward
• Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by Michael Thibodeau & Jana Martin
• One "Carton" of Candy Cigarettes (6 pkgs: sealed)
• Better Homes & Garden's Barbecues and Picnics
• My Best Man by Andy Schell
• Hey Willy, See The Pyramids by Maira Kalman
• The Barbie Chronicles: A Living Doll Turns 40 by Yona Zeldis McDonough
• The Daria Database by Peggy Nicoll
• R.E.M.: The Ultimate Compendium by The Editors of Rolling Stone
• Sanford & Son: The Collector's Edition VHS
• TV's First Family by Louis Solomon (TV show All in the Family
• Fangface: A Heap of Trouble
• Movie Monsters by Tom Powers
• What Do Smurfs Do All Day?
• Father & Son (+ other assorted comics)
• Pinocchio in Outer Space VHS
• The 39 Steps DVD
• The Dick Van Dyke Show: 3 Episodes DVD
• Betty Boop: 1 Full Hour of Cartoons DVD
• The Last Time I Saw Paris DVD
• Suddenly DVD
• Nothing Sacred DVD
• The Man Who Knew Too Much DVD
• Home Town Story DVD
• Van Beuren Classic Cartoons: 1 Full Hour of Cartoons DVD
• 1099 Free Hours AOL Disc with Seinfeld Trivia CD-ROM
• His Girl Friday DVD
• Mr. & Mrs. North DVD
• Cartoon Craze Presents: Porky Pig: Porky's Cafe DVD
• Cartoon Craze Presents: Sing A-Longs DVD
• Complete Set of Madman Trading Cards
• Constantine: Behind The Scenes DVD
• 70 Free Game Tokens From Chuck E. Cheese
• Assorted Postcards

[ Not Pictured ]

• Fire With Fire VHS
• The Mystery in Dracula's Castle
• 4 assorted Partridge Family Mysteries
• Assorted Toys (think Happy Meal, etc.)

If you read my blog, then you know that 97% of the books contain TONS of bold, beautiful and kitschy illustrations and/or photographs. Plenty of eyecandy!

Million for Marriage

Not being a big advocate of most things political, I try not to bog the blog (hey! that rhymed!) down with lots of buttons and doohickeys for this cause or that. HOWEVER, I did sign a petition today for gay marriage and thought those of you who might be interested, might want to go sign it too. Personally, I don't want to ever get married, much less raise children (ACK!), but if someone else wants to, more power to 'em. Besides, for me, it's a more of a matter of principle (i.e. democracy... remember that?) than anything else.

So, feel free to sign it (or not), and if you don't get around to it today, I've also added a button in the left-hand column, that I will leave there until the 1,000, 000 signatures goal is met. They're already at more than halfway there. Thanks!

Enough Already!

Yesterday, Fox said it would rename a sports-talk show that appears on its cable channel, FSN, when it airs during Fox's network Super Bowl broadcast on Feb. 6. The show, called "Best Damn Sports Show Period" will be called "Best Darn Super Bowl Road Show Period." "We decided to adjust the title for Super Bowl Sunday simply because what's appropriate for cable television isn't necessarily appropriate for broadcast television," said Fox Sports spokesman Lou D'Ermilio.

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SIGH. It's official. The world has gone functionally retarded. To read the article in its' entirety, go to The Washington Post's website. And if you don't want to go through the bullshit of "signing up" just to read the fuckin' article, do what I do and just copy the entire snippet from the paragraph above and paste it in the Google search window. I tried linking to it from here, but apparently you're forced to "sign up" before you can read any of their articles. I hate bullshit news sites like that. Ridiculous!

I'm a Wino!

I'm counting the days until I get lynched by some "Christians." I'll explain. Back in October while making my way into the grocery store, I was stopped by some guy with a clipboard and asked to sign a petition to allow Arlington to sell wine. Naturally I signed the petition. I mean, why should some other podunk city be pocketing the tax revenue? I also vividly remember some hillbilly that was asked to sign the petition as I was leaving the store. Apparently when she was asked to sign the petition, said she wasn't "from here," but from Tennessee. Then went on to announce in a brayish tone "But I'm a votin' fer George Bush! Woo Hoo! Yeehaw!" etc. Delightful. But I digress.

So, 3 months roll by and my doorbell rings yesterday afternoon. Somewhat gun shy, due to my frequent visits from Jehovah Witnesses, I cautiously looked out the peep hole and saw a smartly-dressed elderly woman admiring the wind chime on my porch while she waited. I opted to open the door and live life on the edge. She introduced herself and explained whom she represented, then asked if I'd be interested in placing a sign in my yard to promote the upcoming election on February 5th (I'm voting early today), to pass a proposition to sell wine in Arlington. I said "Sure." I'd rather have money generated by wine sales go back to the city than the construction of that shitball elitist Cowboys football monstrosity stadium the city just gave the thumbs up to. Besides, it's not like I didn't see my fair share of Bush/Cheney burning crosses signs in people's yards back in November.

Well, you'd think I just told her she'd won the lottery. She was so happy. As I walked with her back to her car to retrieve the signs she told me how I was the second person who'd actually answered the door all day (it was 4 o'clock now). She asked if I knew anyone else that would be interested in placing some in their yards, but I told her I did not. I also tried to save her some time by telling her not to try the two houses on either side of me. They're all uptight and there was no way they were gonna say 'yes.' She said she'd already been to my neighbor's house next door ("Angela" who live to the south side of me) and that she'd said "I'd rather not." That alone was incentive enough for me. I can't stand the woman. I took 3 signs.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to either steal or defile them. Remember, I've seen what lives here, so I know how it works. Little do they know I have access to 500 more. Yippee!

Dave Accolades

Though somewhat belated, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Dave at Blogography for all the nice references to my blog. Like here & here. I may have missed one or two, but you get the general idea. Dave never ceases to amaze me with his neverending sources of original blog entries, photos & illustrations.

I can't draw cartoons to save my life. I wish I could, though. I'm so jealous but I'm also flattered that someone so talented likes my blog. Thanks Dave! You're swell!

Shy Lovers Encouraged to Send Amorous Beans

I read this article today in The New Zealand Herald, and found it fascinating. Hope you do too.

Japanese too shy to say "I Love You" can buy a bean plant that sprouts to bear such a special message. Toymaker Takara will next month market gift cans, which hold soil & the small plant bearing a message that sprouts up in about 5 days, offering 6 different messages inscribed through a laser beam.

Another toymaker, Tomy, offers its own version of message beans set in a white egg made of calcium that "hatches" soon after it is put in water. The bean cracks open through the egg and shows encouraging messages.

Stamp-Happy

I like stamps. I'm not what one might consider a philatelist or anything, but on occasion I do like to buy certain stamps merely for their beauty.

The first time I remember buying stamps merely for the design, was back in 1989 when the US Postal Service issued a series of Classic Movies postage stamps that featured images from The Wizard of Oz, Beau Geste (my personal favorite), etc.

I also fondly remember when they issued Comic Strip Classics featuring characters from the Sunday comics (Nancy, Blondie, Popeye, etc.). They were so colorful. Unlike any other stamps I'd seen. I had to buy them.

Something happened recently that forced me to start rummaging through all my storage boxes full of keepsakes, mementos and old photographs. In the process I stumbled across all kinds of treasures, postage stamps just being a small part. As I come across more of my stamp "collection" I'll be posting them. I hope you like what you see.

In the meantime, not much has changed over the years. I'm still a slave to eyecandy and the post office seems to be releasing more and more stamps that I "have to have." Here are the latest ones I've bought. They're still available if you're interested, so go get some today!

[ Click Images For A Larger Version ]

My Blog Twin Is...

Your Famous Blogger Twin is Moby

Creative, cosmopolitan, and a bit moody If something's on your mind, it's on your blog

Who's Your Famous Blogger Twin?

I Feel Just Like Ben Cross!*

Stacy passed the spirit stick to me, so here are my answers:

Random 10:
1. “This Life” - Mandalay
2.” We Are All Made of Stars (Timo Maas Vocal Remix)” - Moby
3. “Highway To Hell” - AC/DC
4. “Rock Star” - N.E.R.D.
5. “The Boy Racer” - Morrissey
6. “Nothing My Love Can't Fix” - Joey Lawrence
7. “Superfabulous (Compufonic 12" Remix)” - BT
8. “Sugar Shack"- Jimmy Gilmer
9. “Disco Science” - Mirwais
10. “The Chemicals Between Us” - Bush

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
1,303.

2.The last CD you bought is:
Ferry Corsten - Right of Way

3.What is the song you last listened to before this message?
“Boogie Wonderland” - Girls Against Boys

4. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
“Good Boys” - Blondie
“XX Sex” - Fuzzbox
“Holiday” - Madonna vs Kelis
“Sexy” - Richard Humpty Vission
“The Girl From Ipanema” - Stan Getz & João Gilberto

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (three persons and why)?
Chad, because I'm anxious to see what a DJ is listenin' to.
Sarah…because I can't imagine what she's listening to.
And Gatochy…because her blog is always so visually beautiful I want to see what inspires her audibly.

*Re: Chariots of Fire

Uncle Teddy

I found out Saturday afternoon that my Uncle Teddy had passed away. I'd called my mom to check in and see what she was up to, when she told me. My mom has 3 brothers: Jimmy, Teddy and Gary. Gary, the youngest, passed away several years ago. He was alone in his apartment at the time and it was a few days before he was discovered. Teddy was the second youngest and again was alone in his home where he was found a day later. Today would have been his 70th birthday, but instead of a party there will be a funeral. My mother's oldest brother, Jimmy's birthday is on Wednesday. She said he and Teddy had a running gag about how for one day Jimmy Was younger than Teddy. Being an only child, I can't begin to imagine how sad it will be for him to lose one of his best friends as well as a brother.

Growing up, my parents and I always used to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas at my grandmother's house. It was the few times of year that all the family got together. Gary had two children from a previous marriage, Teddy and his wife Clarabeth had 3 children that were roughly 10-15 years older than me and Jimmy and his wife Shirley had 2 sons around the same age. Teddy's wife and kids were always my favorite when it came to relatives. Clarabeth was a school teacher and had the same wicked sense of humor that Teddy and all their kids possessed. Johnny was the oldest, Renee the youngest and David was the middle child. I loved each of them for different reasons: Renee was what my mother would call "full of beans." I loved being around her because she was the funniest person I'd ever met and could always leave me laughing 'til I cried. David was always sweet and outgoing and Johnny, I must admit was my favorite. I think it's because he talked to me when no one else would and always seemed to be genuinely interested in what I had to say. A very big deal when you're just a "kid." He made me feel necessary and didn't talk down to me, like most adults tend to do when it comes to communicating with children.

I've been rummaging through boxes all weekend trying to find a picture that I know is around here somewhere. It's of my mother and her brothers when they were little kids back in the early 40's. They're some really great pictures that, had I been more organized, I could have located and scanned to include with today's entry.

However, as I was looking through some of my old scrapbooks, I ran across a picture of my Uncle Teddy from what must be the early 80's. I started laughing immediately, then started crying. Emotions can be a fickle thing. I laughed because even though I love the vintage photos of him and his siblings, this picture conveyed more of the spirit in which I remember him: acting crazy and making me laugh. He was good at that. I remember when I asked to take his picture he struck this pose, showing off his, as he called them, "gams." He was really good natured about poking fun of himself (and others).

I remember a "trick" that Uncle Teddy used to show me that I could never figure out when I was little. Unbeknownst to me, Uncle Teddy apparently had a set of false lower teeth. And he delighted in showing me how he could "knock his teeth out" by smacking the back of his head (a couple of times, in order to give the effect that they were being knocked "loose"). I remember it used to crack me up and I would laugh like someone had just told the funniest joke I'd ever heard. Naturally, I'D try to do it and it would never work. Apparently this was an endless source of humor for my family at the time. At best, I'd smack the back of my head a few times and jut out my bottom teeth like some bulldog with an under bite. The stupid things we do as kids.

And last but not least, when I was little it was kind of a running gag among my parents and Uncle Teddy about how much I hated coconut. Well, one Christmas while at my grandmother's, among the presents under the tree was one from Uncle Teddy. It was round, wrapped in Christmas paper and had a bow on it. Naturally, I couldn't wait to open it. I'm sure you can guess what it was. But me, being a gullible little kid had no idea. Until I opened it. In the corner of my mind I can remember Teddy smoking, nudging my mom to look, and all the while grinning like a Cheshire cat, from behind tinted glasses as I opened it. It was a coconut. I'm sure my face fell when I saw it and this was enough fuel to make Teddy snicker and laugh like Muttley from the Laff Olympics.

Over the years my mother's brothers stopped coming to Grandma's house for the holidays. Their kids were getting older, getting married and having children of their own. Their priorities shifted to their own families and after my grandmother was killed (car accident) in the late 80's, the tradition of seeing family sort of died with it. My mom still kept in touch via mail and phone calls, but things were never really the same again. Needless to say I drifted away from my uncles and cousins and we're all pretty much strangers at this point in our lives. We all live so far apart and have such different priorities now that we probably wouldn't find much in common to talk about, reduced to that small talk reserved for people we feel obligated to talk to.

Since I have never been one for family interaction, be it reunions, weddings or even funerals, I'll not be attending the funeral service with my parents today. It's hard to explain but I associate them all as the same thing: reminders of what was. After all, it's been nearly 20 years since I've seen any of them and at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I'm not the same person that they probably remember anyway. It's like when the people back home who knew me as a child ask my parents about me. I'm always remembered as "sweet" or "talented," and I don't feel like I'm that person they knew anymore. Maybe it's just me. All I'm trying to say is that even though I may not be there in person today, doesn't mean I won't be thinking of them all: Johnny, David, Renee and my mother. And of course, Uncle Teddy. I'll miss him.

Say What?

I feel kinda guilty for not having a "real" blog entry for you today, but I'm sure we'll both cope with it in our own way. In the meantime I found this picture ages ago and it struck me as funny, so here's today fun activity: Give this photo a caption. I've seen other blogs do this before, so it's not like I'm breaking any new ground or anything. I just thought it might be something fun to do on an otherwise 'bleah' Monday morning.

Heeeere's to Johnny

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."- Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson, King of Late Night, Dies

Johnny Carson, who defined American comedy for 30 years as the king of late-night television and quintessential host of NBC's Tonight Show, died today at age 79.

NBC confirmed the death on its Website. His nephew, Jeff Sotzing, told the Associated Press, "Mr. Carson passed away peacefully early Sunday morning. He was surrounded by his family, whose loss will be immeasurable. There will be no memorial service."

Sotzing did not disclose any further details, including time of death, where Carson died or the exact cause of death.

The late-night fixture had been beset by health problems since his reitrement more than a decade ago. Carson underwent a quadruple-heart bypass in March 1999. Some reports said the comic had suffered a heart attack, necessitating the emergency surgery.

In September 2002, he confirmed he was battling emphysema.

The reserved quipmeister, who mentored a generation of future comedy stars including David Letterman, Jerry Seinfeld and Roseanne, was rarely seen in public after bequeathing The Tonight Show's legendary Burbank soundstage to Jay Leno in 1992.

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I've said it before and I'll say it again, late night TV was never the same again once Johnny left. Growing up, I loved watching The Tonight Show. It was one of the few shows that you could always count on for a laugh. I especially loved the episodes where Joan Embery or Jim Fowler would bring animals on to show Johnny. The looks on Johnny's face were priceless! Once Johnny stepped down, I never watched the show again. It just wasn't the same. Johnny, you'll be missed. :(

The Tingling Means it's Sulfuric Acid Working

Last Friday I was starting to get a headache, so I decided to take a nice, hot bath. Sometimes this helps, sometimes it doesn't. This time it did. So, feeling rather upbeat and positive, I decided to "treat" myself and use some of that wonderful-smelling Totally Juicy Grapefuit Peel-Off Masque that I'd mentioned in a previous entry. Well, let me tell you, this was more of a trick than a treat. Unless of course, you're a masochist, which I am not.

While reading the instructions, I notice it says "keep away from eyes." Good thing that warning was there or my eyes would have been the first place I'd applied it. But as stupid as THAT sounds, I think my favorite part was where it said "It goes on your face, not in your face - please don't eat Totally Juicy products." So, I begrudgingly dismantled my Totally Juicy hoagie.

During the application I feel some light "discomfort", but I assume it's the acidity of the citrus and finish applying it. The tube did say it "purges pores and purifies." Well, then this shit was purifyin' like a motherfucker, 'cause I was tempted, more than once, to tear it away from my face and dive face-first into the nearest cool liquid, even if that meant the toilet. Yes, it burned that bad. However, I decided to wait it out (all in the name of beauty and mannequin-like pores). It did eventually stop burning and began to itch once it was dry and had tightened. After the entire masque was dry, I peeled it off and I looked... drum roll please... exactly the same (cymbal drop). I was expecting at least some Biore pore strips-action, but there was nuthin'. I think my face felt smoother though, but I can't be completely sure. It may have just gone numb from all the refreshingness.

Spongebob Queerpants? Gimme a Break

Yesterday, the high was 75º, so initially being in a good mood, I decided to take advantage of the weather and go sit in the backyard and catch up on some letter writing and some reading. Since I don't currently have a portable radio with batteries that aren't drained, I had to resort to listening to my AM-only Hawaiian Punch radio. Naturally, the reception was crystal clear and naturally there wasn't much variety to choose from, so I ended up listening to, of all things, Dr. Laura (gag), but was forced to change it because her cawwing was inducing bouts of IBS. This brought me to The Michael Medved Show which claims to "emphasize the intersection of politics and pop culture." The topic at hand was the Christian Right's latest affirmation that they (yet again) have way too much time on their hands: Apparently Spongebob Squarepants is a queermonger. I finally had to just turn the radio off after some pathetic woman called in claiming that there was an actual episode where Squidward allegedly tells Spongebob "I wanna lie down on top of you!" Gee, I wonder if she lives in a red state? And people wonder why I have such disdain for the Christian "lifestyle." No thanks. I'm trying to limit my bigot intake.

Here's an article that goes into a little more detail about Spongebob's alleged "agenda":

U.S. Christians issue gay warning over kid video

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Christian Conservative groups have issued a gay alert warning over a children's music video starring SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney and a host of other cartoon favorites.

The wacky square yellow SpongeBob is one of the stars of a music video due to be sent to 61,000 U.S. schools in March. The makers -- the nonprofit We Are Family Foundation -- say the video is designed to encourage tolerance and diversity.

But at least two Christian activist groups say the innocent cartoon characters are being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality.

"A short step beneath the surface reveals that one of the differences being celebrated is homosexuality," wrote Ed Vitagliano in an article for the American Family Association.

The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family" using the voices and images of SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and 100 TV cartoon stars. It was made by a foundation set up by songwriter Nile Rodgers after the Sept. 11, 2001, hijacked plane attacks to promote the nation's healing process.

Christian groups however have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.

"Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity" within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line," Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on Thursday.

Rodgers was astounded at the attack. "That is so myopic and harsh. You have really got to look hard to find anything in this that is offensive to anyone. The last thing I am going to do is taint these characters," he told Reuters.

Dobson was quoted by the New York Times on Thursday as having singled out the wildly popular SpongeBob during remarks about the video at a Washington D.C. dinner this week.

SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise was popular with gays. His creator, Stephen Hillenburg, said at the time that although SpongeBob was an oddball, he thought of all the characters as asexual.

It is not the first time that children's TV favorites have come under the critical spotlight of the U.S. Christian right. Tinky Winky, the purse-toting purple Teletubbie, was in 1999 declared a homosexual role model by Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Upcoming Movies I Want to See: Vol. 3

There are so many upcoming movies that I'm looking forward to. In addition to the ones I've made collages of here, Miss Congeniality 2 looks like a lot of fun too. A lot of the ones I want to see, will most likely be going to video/DVD before I can get to them: Beyond The Sea, The Life Aquatic, Kinsey & Birth.

Among the promising movies I recently watched the trailers for over at apple.com, include: A Love Song For Bobby Long (Travolta looks hot with white hair) and Be Cool. Though Vin Diesel is hunkalicious and has a sexy voice, his new comedy from Disney, The Pacifier, looks like Mr. Nanny repackaged, while Tim Burton's new version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory looks disappointingly bland. And don't even get me started on the Bewitched movie. Speaking of Will Farrell, Coach Carter looks like a dollar movie waiting to happen and even though my love of all things Vince Vaughn normally knows no bounds, his new comedy with Owen Wilson, The Wedding Crashers, looks like a rental at best.

• Sin City. April 1. 2005
Appeal Factor: Clive Owen, Brittany Murphy & Elijah Wood. Plus, the film LOOKS amazing!

• Amityville Horror. Spring 2005
Appeal Factor: Ryan Reynolds looks HOT!

• The Ring Two. Not Announced
Appeal Factor: Looks like scary fun.

• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. July 15. 2005
Appeal Factor: Rental.

• Chicken Little. November 4. 2005
Appeal Factor: Looks hilarious. I predict it'll be HUGE.

• Tarnation. In Theatres Now
Appeal Factor: Fascinating premise. Bet it makes me cry, though.

• Closer. In Theatres Now
Appeal Factor: Clive Owen & Jude Law. Visually beautiful film.

• Dark Water. Not Announced
Appeal Factor: Jennifer Connolly + thriller= fun! From the author of The Ring.

My New Quiz...

I just finished creating my first quiz over at Quizilla.com. It's called "What Comfort Food Are You?" and has ten possible outcomes. I just took the quiz and it initially showed my graphics, but when I try to post the result here (like when I take other quizzes) the image is not showing up. Please give it a try and let me know if it's working for you or if I still have some kinks to work out.

You can take the quiz by clicking here. Thanks!

Bush Inauguration

Bush Blackout
Black-Thursday.com
Gasoline Boycott Day
Not One Damn Dime
Counter Inaugural

Of Ducks 'n Donuts

Yes, yes, I know that it's been a while since I posted one of my digital photo collages, but to be honest, I just haven't been anywhere. Well, since my dad came to stay with me for a few days (it seemed much longer, but that's another story) last week, I now have enough images to make one of my famous collages. I know you missed them because I got hundreds of tens of requests for them (I'm lying). So here we are, the first digital photo collage of the year.

[1] This is the nearby produce place that I love to shop at. They always have beautiful produce and are one of the few places I can find sesame sticks (I'm addicted). They also go all out during Halloween, with one of the best pumpkin selections in town.

[2] SIGH. He's so dreamy. This is one of the many Italian/New Yorker-types who runs the best place to get a slice of pizza in town, Nizza Pizza. Actually, the majority of the guys who work there are pretty doggone cute. He could lose the jewelry though. You know how I feel about manjewelry.

[3] This is the pizza of which I speak. Two slice of of piping hot, crispy perfection!

[4] This is some weirdo hook thingy that's hanging in one of my dad's old warehouses. I always thought it looked cool but had always forgotten to bring my camera with me. Until now! He used to own a butcher shop, so I THINK this may have hung meat in the cooler.

[5] This is Snapple-Man. He stirred his fuckin' tea so long I thought he was churning butter. I kid you not, it sounded like a horse running in place on cobblestones. Relax, mister, it's just a beverage.

[6] This is my orange juice and sausage kolaches from the nearby Shipley's Donuts. They've been in business forever and I love this particular location. It feels very much like a small town place where you can see "the locals" gathering to read the newspaper, gossip and/or enjoy a hot cup of coffee. I used to get kolache and knish mixed up. I love a good knish, too.

[7] I HAD to take a picture of this on my most recent outing to the local library. If for nothing else, to educate the youngsters who may be reading my blog. This is what we used to use to type up our essays for English class. This was also the source of one of my classes in high school. It's called an electric typewriter. This particular coin-operated model is available for use at your local library.

[8] I love newsstands. I remember we'd ALWAYS stop by one either before or after church and get a Sunday paper and sometimes I'd get a comic book or a magazine. Sadly, you don't see too many newsstands anymore and I miss them. This is a view of the counter at the newsstand that I like to frequent.

[9] These are some of the fresh donuts at Shipley's. Krispy Kreme is good, but Shipley's donuts seem more homemade. Less processed. It's a good thing.

[10/11/12] And last but not least: The Ducks. Yep, these are some of the ducks that I feed on a regular basis at a nearby pond. I call 'em "those crazy kids." They crack me up and seeing their little butts waddle from side to side when they run up to me, just makes me smile. I found out, to my surprise, that ducks LOVE Honeycomb cereal. I had half a box of cereal that went stale on me, so I brought it with me, along with the leftover bread, hot dog buns, etc. and they went bananas over it! Who knew? As you can see, I've also pointed out my 2 favorite ducks. The first one is what I think is called a Crested Duck. Whatever he/she is, they crack me up. Reminds me of an old fussy church lady wearing a hat (think Aunt Esther from Sanford & Son). I'm not sure what breed my second-favorite duck is, but he/she's really sweet. They kinda look like they're wearing eyeshadow. I just want to hug 'im and pet 'im and call him George. Cutie ducks!

Tube Terror

Lots of spooky stuff is heading to a television near you! Here's a sampling of just a handful of what we have to look forward to.

Tonight a new television series premieres on Fox at 8PM, following American Idol. It's called Point Pleasant and it looks promising, though chock-full of every Hollywood "Satanic" cliche ever put on film. i.e. ravens, 666, glowing eyes, "omens," etc. It is executive-produced by former "Buffy/Angel" exec Marti Noxon and co-executive produced by Rick Rosenthal (who did Halloween II and unfortunately the godawful Halloween 8, thus my hesitance). Think Rosemary's Baby meets Melrose Place meets The O.C. Here's a synopsis of the show:

All hell is about to break loose in a sleepy New Jersey town when a sudden violent storm washes in more than the tide in the new supernatural drama series Point Pleasant.

The quiet beach community of Point Pleasant is about to get much louder when a sudden, violent storm washes in more than the tide. Local lifeguard Jesse spies Christina floating in the sea and immediately dives in to save her life. He takes her to the home of Dr. Ben Kramer, whose daughter Judy and wife Meg take an immediate liking to Christina. For Christina, Point Pleasant offers both respite from her protected boarding-school existence in New York, and the opportunity to search for her mother, Anne - who, surprisingly, grew up in the area but has never been a part of Christina's life. Aside from the Kramers' fondness for her, and Jesse's budding attraction, it seems that secret desires, repressed feelings and heightened emotions inexplicably begin to flare when Christina is near. Christina never knew her mother, and doesn't realize that she's never truly known her father, either. Christina is the offspring of a mortal woman and the Devil - and although she doesn't know it, the battle for her soul has begun.

Naturally, to compete with the WB, the cast is hunkalicious, too. With newcomers such as Brent Weber and Sam Page as well as familiar faces like Richard Burgi and Grant Show (ROWR!).

Then on Sunday, January 23rd at 8PM, the USA Network premieres Stephen King's latest made-for-TV-movie Riding The Bullet. The movie was originally released last year in 1,000 theaters and because of lack of interest the film company pulled it. This sounds like a bad omen to me, but it still looks like a lot of fun. However, when it comes to Stephen King, I haven't liked his most recent fodder, with the exception of the remotely recent 2002's Rose Red. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

The premise is about a young man (Jonathan Jackson) who is hitchhiking back home to visit his mother (Barbara Hershey) and is picked up by a mysterious stranger. As the ride goes on, the young man uncovers a terrible secret about the stranger, and is given a choice by the stranger. A choice that can mean life or death. The film also stars David Arquette, Erika Christensen and Cliff Robertson.

I get the feeling there's a stranger involved. What do you think? But seriously, it looks like some good, scary fun. There even appears to be a cameo by Christine, the deadly 1958 Plymouth Fury.

AND, if that's not enough to tide you over, Billy Zane (ROWR!) has signed on to a three-episode guest stint on The WB’s "Charmed," which begins on Sunday, Feb. 13. He plays Drake, a poetry-spouting demon that made a deal with a sorcerer to become human for a year, and now his time is almost up.

Whitebread Gangstas in Da Hizouse!

Moms, hide your purse! Dads, hide your pants! America, hide your face! Whitebread gangstas are in da hizoooooouse! When the Whitebread gangstas are on the loose, anything can happen! Parents can be asked for money for the latest Halo video game! Old Navy pants and caps will deplete without warning! Copies of Friday and The Fast and the Furious will fly off the shelves at Blockbuster! That's right, gangstas Dewey, Hunter and Matthew are on the prizowl and that means trizouble.

That's right. This is what American kids have come to: shirtless WASPs donning FUBU* clothes, baseball caps and firearms. And that's only when their parents aren't around. Whatever you do don't tell their mom or they're soccer coach or they'll be super-grounded!

All kidding aside, I sincerely weep for the future. I'm still waiting for the Samurai fad to hit, so I can see kids wearing kickass kimonos, loincloths (by Abercrombie & Fitch, of course) and sandals. And for those rainy days, raincoats made out of straw. Sigh. Kids today are retarded. The whole obsession with all things firearm is dorkalicious, simply because you know these dopey motherfuckers have no need whatsoever, for a gun. Not unless their skateboards need protectin' from the other kids in the "'hood." Puhleeeaze.

It all reminds me of that episode of The Chappelle Show, where he does a spoof of a reality show called Trading Spouses. When Chapelle walks in on his new white family and sees the lil' white kid listening to 50 cent he's all "What the Hell do you think you're listenin' to?" and the kid's all "Yo, dis fitty cent, I'm from da hood, GGGG G-Unit!". Chapelle: "GGGGGet yo' ass out here!" Then they drive to the ghetto and he drops off the kid and he tells him "And when you see yo' people, tell 'em I said I'm glad they got out. And if you need money, just sell rocks, I hear that's what they do around here." And he drives off and leaves this little kid from the suburbs in the ghetto.

*FUBU has some great clothes, so don't be turned off by the fact that idiots choose to wear it sometimes, too. How can you not embrace a clothing company that was cool enough to incorporate Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids into their clothing line LONG before the movie ever came to fruition? Very cool in my book.

Smells Like Preen Spirit

Though it may not be politically-correct, I smell like a tsunami! It's true! Well, at least AXE Body Spray's idea of a tsunami. Not devastating grief. There probably wouldn't be much of a market for that.

Since I am not a big cologne consumer, I prefer body sprays. It may sound fruity, but they smell just as good to me and they're a hell of a lot cheaper. Besides, the few colognes I DO own: Cool Water, Sung and B.U.M. (please resist the ironic gay jokes), are used so infrequently (mainly due to my dating sabbatical) that they last forever. I prefer the crisp, clean scents. Not too big on the sweet and/or musky scents. I've also never been one to jump on the cologne-of-the-moment bandwagon. Can you say Joop (pronounced "yope")? Bet you can say yuck. Same thing.

The AXE body sprays are also supposed to double as a deodorant, though I just use them as solely as a body spray (I simply don't trust their deodorizing powers). So far I've tried three of the AXE scents: Phoenix, Orion and now Tsunami. Other scents available are: Apollo, Essence, Kilo, Touch, Voodoo, Relapse ("limited-edition" scent) and Recovery (also limited-edition). And if the names aren't enticing enough, get a load of these fragrance synopsis':

• Apollo- Modern and sexy, for the clean-cut, super-jock effect.
• Essence- An Essence guy may be nice, but he's also counting on finishing first.
• Orion- An energetic, exhilarating scent, for the extreme sports guy effect. Never fails to attract tall, blonde skater chicks.
• Touch- For the guy who's looking to experience the thrill of anticipation... and then some.
• Voodoo- An oriental, spicy scent, for the mysterious, deep guy effect. A sure way to put a spell on that sultry, otherworldly vixen.

And my newest purchase:
• Tsunami- For the trendy, connected guy effect. A whiff of this stuff will convince the most stylish chick that you can hang.

Wow! Now I have PROOF that I'm connected AND can hang! SWEET!!

All goofy marketing schtick aside, if you're in the market for a new deodorant/body spray, check out the AXE line of products at your nearest grocery store. But hurry, a friend and I have a bet that the Tsunami edition may be discontinued soon so that the we as an unaffected country can begin the healing process and get back to what's really important... like 9 inaugual balls.

*p.s. That last image in the triptych that accompanies this post is purely fictional. However, on the rare occasion it does happen, it ain't because he smells good. Trust me. I'm nothing if not realistic.

Winter Chills

It's Wintertime and you know what that means. Movies! Well, technically anytime is movie time for me, but this post has a theme: Frighteningly chilling movies that take place during the winter. I LOVE a good thriller and some of my favorites just happen to take place in the good ol' wintertime. So shovel that snow, high-tail it to the video store, get provisions (popcorn, Hot Pockets, vodka... okay, maybe not vodka, but still, you get the idea) and nestle in for a night of terror. Don't forget to lock the doors.

• The Boogens. © 1982
Some Things Shouldn't Be Disturbed...
Synopsis: When greedy townspeople investigate the mysterious contents of an abandoned mine, they set free the monstrous inhabitants--"Boogens"--that have been trapped inside for the last century.
Comments: Ah, flashback time. The first time I saw the trailer for this movie on television is indelibly imprinted in my mind. I remember thinking it looked scary as shit. I SO wanted to go see it, but my parents were never one to sit through 'R' rated scary movies with me. I was pretty much on my own if I wanted to do that. It's not so much that they didn't want me to see them, they just didn't want to have to sit through them. Sigh. Parents. Anyway, when I did finally get to see this movie it WAS just as creepy as the trailer made it look. Fuckin' stressed me out. It's not your typical horror flick, it's got a good plot and genuinely relies on SUSPENSE not gore (always a plus, in my book). I remember almost not being able to stand it, wondering what 'The Boogens' looked like. My imagination was going wild (a sure sign of a well crafted thriller). The story can get a little slow at times, but if you stick with it, it's worth it. One of the stars is Anne-Marie Martin AKA the rich bitch "Wendy" from the 80's slasher Prom Night. Rent the movie or read the book.

• Dead of Winter. © 1987
Synopsis: Katie McGovern is a struggling actress living with her lazy husband and her student brother. She attends an audition that she found in the paper and is selected to shoot a short video which will be sent to the director for his approval. Mr. Murray, the auditioner, picks Katie up and takes her to a remote mansion where they shoot the video. Katie is selected to replace the previous lead in the film who looks remarkably like her. Soon, however, things begin to look as if they are not what they seem.
Comments: Ah, this movie takes me back. I remember seeing it in the theater. If I recall, suspense thrillers were pretty big that year and I went to every one I could. This was one of those that I remember being one of my favorites. "Old school"-style chiller, both figuratively and literally.

• Jennifer 8. © 1992
On the trail of a serial killer, Detective John Berlin has no clues. No suspects. And no alibi.
Synopsis: A big city cop from L.A. moves to a small town police force and immediately finds himself investigating a murder using theories rejected by his colleagues. The cop, John Berlin, meets a young blind woman named Helena, who he is attracted to. Meanwhile, a serial killer is on the loose and only John knows it.
Comments: I can't say enough good things about this movie. It's definitely high on my list of favorite thrillers. I love everything about it: plot, cast (Andy Garcia, Uma Thurman, John Malkovich, Kathy Baker), music score, suspense-factor. I remember seeing this one multiple times in the theater (I took everyone I could get my hands on to go see it). One of the things that I SO remember about this movie was how completely pissed off I got at John Malkovich's character (I really got into the movie). I swear, if you don't want to punch him in the face after his performance during the FBI interrogation scene, you just don't have a pulse. It's really great. I implore you, if you love suspense and a good mystery, you will LOVE this movie. It also has a dynamite ending. So do yourself a favor and go rent it tonight, but don't watch it alone. You've been warned.

• Snowbeast. © 1977
The legendary creature is half man... half animal... and a cold-blooded killer!
Synopsis: A Colorado ski resort is besieged by a sub-human beast that commits brutal murders on the slopes.
Comments: This is one of those great made-for-TV movies from the late 70's that scarred me for life. Lol! Seriously though, I remember this movie SERIOUSLY creeped me out. I remember being totally freaked out by the scenes where the yeti showed himself, even briefly. CREEPY! Though the IMDB doesn't show Snowbeast to be available on DVD, it IS. It's available on a DVD triple-feature called: Classic Creature Movies. The other 2 films include Creature and Track of the Moon Beast. It's a good transfer and well under $5 at Half.com. You can't go wrong! Check it out and get some goose pimples.

• Storm of the Century. © 1999
An unspeakable evil has arrived
Synopsis: The devil (Colm Feore) has come to the small town of Little Tall Island, Maine during the heaviest snow storm in the last 100 years. He brings with him the darkest secrets of all the townspeople and uses his knowledge to control and drive some of them to suicide and murder.
Comments: Yeah yeah, I know. Stephen King sold his soul when he started remaking all his movies via made-for-TV vehicles (Carrie, The Shining, Salem's Lot, etc.). However, before he completely sold-out, this (along with Rose Red) was one of the few semi-recent mini series of his that I actually liked. It's a lot of fun and looks great. It also doesn't hurt that it has a great cast. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I think Colm Feore looks babelicious (my humble opinion) as the villian. I'd give him some kisses.

According to the 'Which Napoleon Dynamite Character Are You? Quiz...

Which Napoleon Dynamite Character are YOU?
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The Check is in the Mail...

Distinguished Blogger Colleagues permit me in my capacity as a fellow blogger to make a few brief remarks regarding the honor of my first blog prize (*proudly on display in the lefthand column), The SS9090 Blogger Award courtesy of Norrin Radd at Silver Surfer 9090.

First, I'd like to thank Norrin himself for this distinguished honor. Through hard work, determination and the right medication, all things are possible. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars

I'd also like to thank everyone who continues to return, even though my love for all things Johnny Knoxville, Vince Vaughn, Ben Affleck and Ryan Dunn can sometimes be unsettling. But this I vow, as long as I have breath in my body I will never blog about Colin Quinn, Bob Saget or Marc Summers, for I hate them all with the passion of a million burning suns.

On a serious note, I am flattered that I received this award and I appreciate the sentiment in which it was created. Thank you Norrin and thanks to everyone who blogrolls me, returns and/or comments. It all makes it worthwhile.

Charles Ain't in Charge No More

I don't know if you've been following the television interviews that the news have been having with Charles Graner, "Jr." (natch), the "ring leader" in the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal a few months ago, but he was was arrogant motherfucker. He was accused of stacking naked prisoners in a human pyramid and later ordering them to masturbate while other soldiers took photographs. He also allegedly punched one man in the head hard enough to knock him out, and struck an injured prisoner with a collapsible metal stick.

Graner radiated confidence when asked about how he felt going into the trial and the possible penalties he may face. He glowed and smugly said ""The sun is shining, the sky is blue and this is America. Whatever happens is going to happen, but I still feel it's going to be on the positive side." You got the distinct impression that he thought nothing was going to happen to him because he was wearing a "American soldier" label, and therefore untouchable and above the law. Well, as it turned out he counted on American's latest patriotism fad a little too much.

I say "was one arrogant motherfucker," because he was just found guilty and could face up to 15 years in prison. Funny how that smile got turned upside down, ain't it? The jury took less than five hours to reach the verdict, and began the sentencing phase Friday evening.

Graner faced 10 counts under five separate charges: Assault, conspiracy, maltreatment of detainees, committing indecent acts and dereliction of duty. He was found guilty on all counts, except one. Each count required that at least 7 of the 10 jurors to agree for conviction. According to ABC news: "Graner's demeanor at the beginning of the trial was upbeat..." "As the trial wore on, his expressions grew more and more stoic. " Are those tears in his eyes? I hope so. Maybe they'll be compounded (no pun intended) once he gets to prison and gets recognized for the buttplug he really is. Good riddance.

December DVD Purchases

Here are the DVD movies I purchased and/or was given in the month of December.

• Amelie. 2001
Comments: Visually beautiful film. Makes me wish love really worked this way.
• Ararat. 2002
Comments: The lead character, played by David Alpay is beautiful. Love the curly hair.
• Dark Waters. 1944
Comments: Merle Oberon is in one of my all-time favorite movies: The Divorce of Lady X, so this being a suspense/thriller, it was a must-have.
• Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. 2004
Comments: Vince Vaughn looks like perfection in this movie. Gorgeous.
• CKY4: Latest & Greatest. 2002
Comments: Ryan Dunn is beautful, as always.
• The Guru. 2002
Comments: Great Bollywood-inspired musical scenes. Love the updated versions of Hindi music. Also, the guy who played Vijay in the movie, Emil Marwa looks beyond HOT in this movie. I can't find a picture of him from the movie, so I will have to post one later. Trust me, he looks good.
• Dopamine. 2003
Comments: The first time I say John Livingston in Ellen DeGeneres' box office bomb, Mr. Wrong, I thought he was gorgeous. He still is.
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. 2003
Comments: The only reason I own this DVD: Sean Astin & Elijah Wood. Besides, it just cost $4.
• His Girl Friday. 1940
Comments: Love Cary Grant & Rosalind Russell.
• Popcorn. 1991
Comments: I remember seeing this movie with my friends Vickie, Steve and Arlesha, back in 1991. Good times. Fun movie.

• Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Essentials:
'Manos' the Hands of Fate. 1966
Comments: Wow. If it weren't for MST3K, I honestly couldn't sit through this movie. It may sound weird, but it seriously gives me a headache, it's that bad. Even with the aide of the MST3K gang, it's still kinda makes me sick. I think it has something to do with the repetitive beat of the music.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. 1964
Comments: A Christmas tradition. Though, I must admit I prefer the equally cheesy Santa Claus, this one also has it's merits. Especially once Tom Servo and Crow get a hold of it!

• Silver Streak. 1976
Comments: Enjoyable, but not as funny as I remembered it. Still love Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, though.
• Troop Beverly Hills. 1989
Comments: One of my Shelley Long guilty pleasures.
• The Perfect Score. 2004
Comments: Just like the review says: "The Breakfast Club" meets "Oceans 11." Fun movie. The Asian guy is hilarious.
• Glory Daze. 1996
Comments: Ben Affleck. Always beautiful.
• The Wraith. 1986
Comments: My friend Nathan gave me this movie for Christmas. 80's-licious!
• The Perfect Husband. 2004
Comments: Dean Cain looking beautiful.
• Deathstalker/Deathstalker II. 1983/1987
Comments: Another gift from my friend Nathan. Used to have a big crush on John Terlesky.
• Pranks (AKA The Dorm That Dripped Blood). 1981
Comments: The cover, like most new DVD "cover art" today, sucks. I originally rented this movie under the title The Dorm That Dripped Blood, and much prefer it's poster art (shown) to the new craptacular cover. Great slasher with one of those endings that you will either love or hate. I love it.

• The Marx Brothers Collection:
Comments: My friend Derik bought this for me, for Christmas! Can you believe it? I've been wanting it ever since it came out, but have just not gotten around to buying it. LOVE it!
A Night at The Opera. 1935
A Day at The Races.1937
A Night in Casablanca. 1946
Room Service. 1938
At the Circus. 1939
Go West. 1940
The Big Store. 1941
Comments: I love all the movies, but The Big Store is one of my all-time favorites.

• Rundown. 2003
Comments: The Rock. Eyecandy. $4. Enough said.
• Moby: Play. 2001
Comments: I don't care what Eminem thinks, I still like Moby and his music. Some great videos on this disc.
• The Dreamers. 2003
Comments: Visually beautiful movie. Plus, I have a strange attraction to Michael Pitt, which kinda unnerves me.
• Prick Up Your Ears. 1987
Comments: One of my all-time favorite "based on a true story" films. Ranks right up there with The Young Poisoner's Handbook, The Krays and Heavenly Creatures.
• Felix the Cat Saves Christmas. 2004
Comments: Visually kitschtacular. I didn't even mind that Dave Coulier ("Unce Joey" from Full House), a person I absolutely cannot STAND, did the voice of Felix.
• "Shag-O-Rama" (Original title: The Linguini Incident). 1991
Comments: One of my all-time favorite "under the radar" movies. The new cover is total and utter shit. Repackaged around the height of the Austin Powers phenom, to lure in that demographic. The original title was The Linguini Incident, and the original cover art was leaps and bounds better than this new craptacular title/"artwork". I highly recommend this movie. See it, if you can find it. The cast is quirky and hilariously brilliant: Rosanna Arquette, David Bowie, Eszter Balint, Marlee Matlin.
• New Year's Evil. 1981/The Boogens. 1982
Comments: It's official. Nathan ROCKS! He made me this DVD-R double feature and dropped it off on New Year's Eve. Complete with tons of horror trailers! He's just too cool. I'll be writing more about The Boogens in a later post, and if you can read more about why I love New Year's Evil by clicking here
• One Crazy Summer. 1986
Comments: By the people who brought us Better Off Dead, another hilarous movie starring John Cusack, who oddly enough, I don't particularly care for much after the 80's. Love his sister, Joan, though! She's awesome! Heh... I said 'awesome.' Make that totally awesome, dude! :^B
• D.O.A.. 1950
Comments: I love film noir, and this one that's always easy and inexpensive to find.
[Not pictured]
• Santa Claus. 1959
Comments: Another DVD given to me by Nathan, for Christmas. Love this movie made in Mexico. How can you not love Santa Claus trying to defeat The Devil? It's just too good. Poor, poor Lupita!
• Jack Frost. 1979
Comments: One of my favorite (and long lost) Rankin-Bass claymation movies. Another gift from Nathan.
• Santa and the Three Bears. 1970
Comments: Nathan's favorite Christmas cartoon. Another gift from Nathan.

Ryan Dunn Needs My Kisses

As many of you already know, I have a soft spot in my heart for skateboarder, now actor, Ryan Dunn. Having purchased the DVD Haggard, which he stars (and which, incidentally was based on true events in his life), and recently watched it, my infatuation with him has only grown. But not in a creepy way. Nor, even a sexual way. It's just something about his overall entity that I'm drawn to. Being a stickler for words, I looked up the word "entity" to make sure that it was what I wanted to convey. The definition was: The existence of something considered apart from its properties. That's it exactly. I know what you're thinking" "But those aren't pictures of his "entity." They're pictures of his face." Which, is true, hey I'm not saying he isn't hot, but he also seems like a genuinely good guy, and that's always cool.

[ Here are my favorite screen captures from the film Haggard ]

Cuts Like a Knife (But it Don't Feel so Right)

A couple of nights ago I caught an episode of one of the few TV shows I watch on a regular basis: Talk Sex, on the Oxygen network. For those who haven't heard of it before, it's a call-in show where people can call in and ask sex advice, whether it be medical, romantic or otherwise. The show is hosted by an elderly woman named Sue Johanson who is Canada's foremost sexual educator and counselor as well as a recipient of the distinguished Order of Canada. She is also a registered nurse.

I enjoy the show for many reasons: [1] Since it's a call-in show, there's not a lot to keep up with visually, so that means I can tune in while I do other things around the house. [2] I learn all kinds of interesting things while at the same time having fun listening to the variety of calls received. And [3] I'm so lonely. Lol! No, but seriously, it's just a lot of fun.

So, to the case in point. I want to get your feedback on one of the topics that a caller called in with recently. I already know what I think about it, but I'm curious to hear what YOU think about it. First off, I'll admit that I didn't take the time this time to research (for once) the Jewish faith in detail, so I'm going into this topic with nothing but an opinion.

On to the phone call: A man called in and inquired about the possibilities of circumcision at the age of 35. His fiancee (she's Jewish, BTW) wants him to get circumcised. He very much didn't want to, but he "loves" her and this is what she wants. He neglected to say whether or not this was a condition of marriage, but I got the impression it was. In other words, whether or not he got married rested on whether or not he went through with the circumcision. I also got the distinct impression that this was much more an aesthetic issue (cut vs. uncut) of his fiancee's (she didn't "like it") more than a dedication to her religion.

Sue went on to make sure that this was a SERIOUS, lasting relationship, but seemed hesitant for him to have this procedure done because of the extreme pain involved and the fact that he was having the procedure done as an adult. He reluctantly, but consistently said he was going to do it "for her, (re: fiancee)" so Sue went on to explain to him how the procedure would work (cauterization, after-care, etc.) and what to expect.

So here's my question to both the men and the women who read my blog:
Men- Would you do this for a potential partner/fiancee?
Women- Would you ask a potential partner/fiancee to do this?
I'm anxious to hear your answers.

Now for my humble opinion, keeping in mind I didn't research all the details of the Jewish faith. I think this is nothing more than a selfish, vain, control issue. I'm of the opinion that a relationship is based on loving someone just the way they are. Whether this means religious affiliation, appearance, idosyncracies, etc. I find it a little hard to believe that something as insignificant as foreskin really plays that large a role in whether or not people of the Jewish faith can be successfully married. What? Does the rabbi do a full scrotal examination of the groom beforehand or what? Short of being a religious zealot, I honestly don't see the supposed validity of this meaningless ritual. I feel this is one of those outdated "rules" which is steeped more in mind stagnation rather than "tradition." i.e. Catholics vs. birth control. It all smacks of the ludicrous premise of that movie that was SUCH a big hit 3 years ago, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Yeah, it may be precious when Hollywood portrays converting for the one you love, but it's a lot more complex than it's made out to look. Remind me to tell you about the time I pretended to like plays and musicals just to win the heart of the one I loved. Whatta nightmare. But I digress.

Epilogue: I couldn't stand it. I had to do a little research. Here's what I found online, according to Rabbi Shraga Simmons over at Aish.com:

A convert who is NOT circumcised needs the full surgery. This is not as complicated a procedure as you might expect. It is done with local anaesthetic and heals within a week or so. I have been present at adult circumcisions and it is a very positive experience for the new convert.

Yeah, tell that to an adult male who just had it done. I have a feeling it's one of those situations that people who haven't actually had the procedure (as an adult) can poo-poo and trivialize, even though they haven't had it done themselves. I still stand by my opinion.

I Met the Nicest Serial Killer at the Grocery Store Tonight!

Well, okay, maybe he wasn't really a serial killer, but he looked doggone scary. So scary in fact, when I passed him on the pasta aisle, I could have kicked myself for not having my camera at the ready. Well, as fate would have it, he ended up behind me in line at the checkout. Since he only had milk and cheese and I had a shopping cart full of groceries, I offered for him to go in front of me, if he wanted to. He said 'thank you' and the conversation took off from there. We talked about McDonald's 99¢ salads among other things. Long story short, he turned out to be a really nice guy. He waved goodbye as he left. I had mixed emotions. I felt crummy and happy at the same time. Crummy 'cause I assumed he wanted to disembowel me and use my lower intestines as a jump rope, then happy because he turned out to be such a friendly person in a world full of crummy people. It just goes to show you, you can't judge a book by its' cover. This concludes my heart-warming tale for today. Thank you.

The Surreal Life: Season 4

I have a new favorite reality show: The Surreal Life. I watched Season 1 & 2, but skipped Season 3 because [A] I didn't care for the cast and [B] Every time I went to tune in (they moved it from the WB to VH1 due to "creative" differences), it was never on, even though the TV Guide said otherwise. I finally gave up outta frustration.[ The New Housemates Include ]• Adrianne Curry (Winner of America's Next Top Model))
• Christopher Knight ("Peter" from The Brady Bunch)
• Jane Wiedlin (The Go-Go's guitarist)
• Da Brat (Rap "artist")
• Marcus Schenkenberg (Calvin Klein supermodel)
• "Chyna Doll" (Ex-WWF wrestling star)
• Verne Troyer ("Mini-Me" Austin Powers)

First off, I've always thought Christopher Knight ("Chris") was hot as an adult. Ever since I saw him on The Weakest Link 4 years ago. He looked friggin' HOT with the goatee. ROWR! Well, I gotta say he's still lookin' mighty fine, with or without the facial hair. And apparently he's gotten on some exercise regime now (Perhaps in time for the show's premiere? Mid-life crisis?) and is lookin' mighty buffalicious at age 47. Double ROWR!

And then there's Jane Wiedlin, who was always my favorite Go Go. I just think she's the cutest thing ever, not necessarily because of her short stature or as everyone loves to pigeonhole her as "pixie-ish." I just love her personality. She just has that certain something that I'm drawn to. And, as it turns out, she's into S&M. Interesting. She's just so cute. She needs a hug.

Anyway, the first episode was fun to watch and it set the groundwork for each "character." Here's my take on the crew...so far:

• Adrianne- The poor man's Elizabeth Hurley. Claims to love the Go Gos, yet whose face initially appeared to not register who Jane was until she said she was in the Go Gos. Her 15 minutes are up.
• Christopher- Hottie with a Daddy complex.
• Jane- Cutie with a side of fetishism. Nice. Fun.
• Chyna- Chewbacca with fashion sense. Attention whore. Drama queen.
• Marcus- Nice bod. Looks like a Pekinese with Lupus. Typical model. Utterly forgettable. Personality-free. So not interested. Second least favorite.
• Verne- Another Hank The Angry/Drunken Dwarf (Re: Howard Stern Show regular who died prematurely) waiting to happen. Personality is a big turnoff. Sad. Third least favorite.

Which brings me to: • Da Brat- AKA Da Who? This experience is too "wack" for her. She needs to lose the attitude and realize her ass ain't above being the "has-been" she tells Jane she is in a later episode. What fuckin' show does she think SHE'S on? I mean, if you wanna "keep it real," then let's go there. The whole premise of the show is that it brings together celebrities who've peaked at some point. This is not to say they won't go on to do other things, but she seriously needs a moment of clarity is she thinks she's not on the "has-been" list, too. Baby, your album went platinum in 1994. It's 11 years later, so I'd hold off on the stone throwin' until you have some new accomplishments to bring to the table. Just because you show up for the photo ops at various shows/ceremonies, doesn't mean you're not coasting on fumes from the past. You betta recognize! She's is funny though. I'll give her that. Number one least favorite.

Keep in mind this is the first episode, so I may end up changing my opinion on any/all these people before it's over with. Who knows. I guess I'll just have to keep tuning in to find out. In the meantime, let's just hope Chris feels compelled to go shirtless some more (which I have a feeling he will). In actuality, he seems very humble about his appearance, I'm just being a bitch.

New episodes of The Surreal Life air on VH1 on Sundays at 10AM and 8PM, with repeats throughout the following week. Click here for the current airing schedule.

Did You Know...

• Borden individually-wrapped cheese slices taste the most like real cheese. Kraft and Velveeta just don't measure up.
• Ivory dishwashing liquid cleans more dishes, is thicker and makes more suds than Palmolive dishwashing liquid.

• Head & Shoulders shampoo sucks at eliminating dandruff. Go with the more expensive, but effective T-Gel.
• Dreyer's peach, lemon, tropical and grapefruit sorbets are better than ice cream, sherbert or popsicles, any day.

• Best Maid makes the best salad dressing/mayo. Miracle Whip is a close second.
• The 50¢ eyeglass repair kit I bought at a local dollar store has been one of the best investments ever. It's all about the mini screwdriver, baby!

• The store brand of tomato sauce always tastes better than the name brand.
• The lightbulbs from the dollar store last just as long as the more expensive GE lightbulbs.

• Del Monte spaghetti sauce in a can rivals Prego, for flavor. Hunt's and the store brands are WAY too salty in comparison.
• You can never have too much cracked black pepper, paprika, onion salt and/or celery seed.

• Starkist tuna in the pouch beats the tuna in the can, hands down. Starkist's 'Sweet & Spicy' Tuna Creations, is amazing.
• Fuji film has the most brilliant overall colors. Kodak is more about the warm colors (i.e. yellow, red, etc.)

• Claussen dill pickles are the crispest, best-tasting dill pickles. It has everything to do with the fact that they are in the refrigerated section. Vlasic can sometimes be found in the refrigerated section, but they're less crispy and more soggy.
• Q-Tips with wooden sticks beat all others.

• Tom Thumb's Safeway brand of Diet Lime Cola tastes identical to the Coco-Cola version. Plus, it's just 69¢ a bottle, compared to $1.79.
• Golden Grain brand mac 'n cheese beats Kraft's mac 'n cheese. The cheese powder should be ORANGE. Not yellow. Velveeta's initially tastes good, so enjoy it while it's hot. However, the reheat factor is nil, unless you LIKE eating food the consistancy of paste.

• TAB is still my #1 favorite "diet" soda.
• Off brand dryer sheets are just as good as the name brand dryer sheets.

• Oops! brand stain remover is a godsend. I use it to remove price stickers from just about everything. SO many uses. I couldn't live without it.
• The best place to buy quality dishes is Ross. You can buy bowls, dinner plates, salad plates, any size plate for anywhere from $1-$2 apiece. I prefer to mix and match colors, in lieu of having a monochrome set.

• If you address a letter to yourself with the person you want to SEND the letter to as the return address, don't put a stamp on it, and drop it in a public mailbox, you can mail a letter for FREE.

And last, but not least:

• If you find something on "Clearance" at Target, and it doesn't have a price on it and you use one of the scanners located throughout the store to check the price and it registers "$0," when it comes time to check out, you can pretty much name your own price (within reason). Just tell them: "I didn't see a price on this, but I don't want to pay more than $1 for it." Nine times outta 10, you'll get it for that price.

According to the Happy Bunny Quiz...

Congratulations! You are the "You Smell Like
Butt" bunny. Your brutally honest and
always say what's on your mind. which happy bunny are you?

Hurray! I got my favorite Happy Bunny! Thanks to Stacy over at Outwit, Outbog, Outsnark for inspiring me to take this quiz... and being inspired by Cheeky Professor in turn.