Monday, February 28, 2005

What I'm Listening to: Vol. IV

A few weeks ago, I was asked to participate in a music meme, by Dave over at Blogography. Unfortunately, I had already been sent the meme a few months earlier by Stacy over at Outwit, Outblog, Outsnark. Being the eternal martyr, I felt guilty about not being able to participate, so with that in mind, I dedicate this blog entry to Dave. My musical tastes are pretty much all over the place. I like all kinds of stuff, but have a soft spot for Electronica, Ambient, Trance, Jazz, 80's, Lounge and every teen's nightmare, "Easy-Listening." To see more of what I'm listening to, click here, here and here.

• Depeche Mode: Remixes 81-04: Single Disc Edition. © 2004
Favorite Tracks: 1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11
1. Never Let Me Down Again (Split Mix) - Depeche Mode & Dave Bascombe
3. Barrel of a Gun (Underworld Hard Mix Mix)
6. In Your Room (The Jeep Rock Mix) - Johnny Dollar & Portishead
7. Home (Air "Around The Golf" Remix) - Air
8. Strangelove (Blind Mix) - Daniel Miller & Rico Conning
10. Just Can't Get Enough (Schizo Mix)
11. Halo (Goldfrapp Remix) - Goldfrapp

• Cause & Effect: Trip. © 2002
Favorite Tracks: Not that great of a CD. I picked a lemon this time 'round.

• Audio Bullys: Ego War. © 2002
Favorite Tracks: 2, 8, 9, 11, 12,13
2. 100 Million
8. The Tyson Shuffle
9. The Things (Album Version)
11. The Snow
12. I Go To Your House
13. Hit The Ceiling

• Meat Beat Manifesto: Acid Again [Maxi-Single]. © 1998
Favorite Tracks: 1, 2
1. Acid Again
2. Acid Again (Freddy's Fresh Mix)

• Cinderella: Once Upon A.... © 1997
Favorite Tracks: 1, 2, 3, 5
1. Shake Me
2. Nobody's Fool
3. Somebody Save Me
5. Don't Know WHat You Got (Till It's Gone)

• Absolutely The Best of Keely Smith. © 2002
Favorite Tracks: 2, 5, 7, 8, 10
2. I Wish You Love
5. Someone To Watch Over Me
7. Stormy Weather
8. I've Got You Under My Skin
10. There Will Never Be Another You

• Jazz Lounge 2. © 2004
Favorite Tracks/Disc 1: "Smooth": 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14
1. So Nice- Bebel Gilberto
3. The mambo Craze- De-Phazz
5. One Day Deep- Praful
6. Trying to Get to You- Camiel
7. Cubanova- Marc Antoine
8. Barfly- Alex Cortiz
9. Side Long Harlem- Roby J.C. Sound
13. Time...- Aqua Bassino
14 Siempre- Mujaji

Favorite Tracks/Disc 2: "Shaken": 1, 5, 6, 8, 9, 14
1. Samba 1000 (Nicole Conte Mix)- Ursula 1000
5. 'Round About Midnight- Gotan Project meets Chet Baker
6. Sambud- A Banda Nova
8. 'Round About Midnight- Eddy & Dus meet Lillian Terry
9. What's Your Name (Fila Brazillia Remix)- Future Loop Foundation
14. Bee Erotica- Colorblind

• KISS: The Very Best of KISS. © 2002
Favorite Tracks: 1, 6, 7, 8, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19
1. Strutter
6. Rock And Roll All Night
7. Detroit Rock City
8. Shout It Out Loud
11. Calling Dr. Love
13. I Stole Your Love
15. Love Gun
17. I Was Made For Lovin' You
19. Lick It Up

• Party Monster: Motion Picture Soundtrack. © 2003
Favorite Tracks: 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12, 16, 19
1. Take Me to the Club
4. Money, Success, Fame, Glamour [Remix] - Macaulay Culkin
5. You're My Disco
6. Two of Hearts - Stacey Q
7. Overdose [Lady Radio Version] - Tomcraft
10. Go! [Single Edit] - Tones on Tail
12. It Can't Come Quickly Enough [Edit]
16. How to Be a Millionaire
19. Good Is Bad - Ricky Barrow

• Duke Mushroom : Singing in the Brain. © 2000
Favorite Tracks: 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9
1. Burn Like the Sun
3. Rio (Duran Duran cover)
5. Cancer
6. How Soon Is Now? (Smiths cover)
7. Mysterious Waves
9. Our Love Is Here to Stay

• Ferry Corsten: Right of Way. © 2004
Favorite Tracks:
1. Sublime
2. Whatever!
3. Rock Your Body, Rock
6. Holding On (ƒ Shelly Harland)
9. Punk
12. Star Traveller

• Great Ladies of Song: Spotlight on Keely Smith. © 1994
Favorite Tracks: 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20
1. It's Magic
2. You Go to My Head
3. Stardust
7. Stormy Weather
8. Fools Rush In
10. Mr. Wonderful
12. I'll Never Smile Again
13. Someone to Watch over Me
16. Lullaby of the Leaves
17. There Will Never Be Another You
20. I Wish You Love

• Ed Wood: Motion Picture Soundtrack. © 1994
Favorite Tracks: 1, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 17, 21
1. Main Title
3. Mr. Lugosi/Hypno Theme
4. Beware
8. Bride of the Monster
9 I Have No Home
10. Kuba Mambo
17. Lurk Him
21. Ed Wood (Video)

• Bush: Razorblade Suitcase. © 1996
Favorite Tracks: 2, 6, 7, 12, 13
2. Greedy Fly
6. A tendency To Start Fires
7. Mouth
12. Bonedriven
13. Distant Voices

• Hyper: Wired. © 2004
Favorite Tracks/Disc 1: 1, 3, 6, 7
1. My House- Mobile Gazer
3. We've Been Waiting- Hyper Vs General Midi
6. Pray For You- Plump DJs
7. Who Said- Planet Funk

Favorite Tracks/Disc 2: 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
1. Weatherman- Dj Fly Wheel
4. Body Rock- Various Artists
5. Ride- Chable & Bonnici
7. In The Middle- Sugababes
8. Lectro Chunk- Stir Fry
9. Gourilla- Attack Force

• MIRWAIS: Production. © 2000
Favorite Tracks: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8
1. Disco Science
2. Naive Song
4. I Can't Wait
7. Paradise (Not For Me)
8. Never Young Again

• 200 Cigarettes: Motion Picture Soundtrack. ©
Favorite Tracks: 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11
2. In The Flesh- Blondie
3. Just What I Needed- The Cars
5. Our Lips Are Sealed- The Go-Go's
8. Boogie Wonderland- Girls Against Boys
9. Ladie's Night- Kool & The Gang
11. Nowhere Girl- B Movie

• k.d. lang: Shadowland. © 1988
Favorite Tracks: 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11
3. Sugar Moon
4. I Wish I Didn'T Love You So
6. Black Coffee
7. Shadowland
10. I'm Down To My Last Cigarette
11. Busy Being Blue

• Les Paul with Mary Ford: The Best of the Capitol Masters. © 1992
Favorite Tracks: 3, 5, 6, 8, 14, 17, 18
3. Tennessee Waltz
5. How High The Moon
6. The World is Waiting For the Sunrise
8. Just One More Chance
14. Bye Bye Blues
17. I Really Don't Want to Know
18. I'm a Fool to Care

• Kim Wilde: If I Can't Have You [Maxi Single]. © 1993
Favorite Tracks: 3, 4
3. If I Can't Have You (Extended Version)
4. If I Can't Have You (7" Edit)

Scarred for Life

Wow. I just saw one of the worst movies ever made. And I've seen a lot of bad movies. A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless because I'm embarrassed he paid money for this movie to begin with, recently lent me his DVD of Sylvester Stallone's first film ever: Italian Stallion (AKA: Party at Kitty and Stud's). I'd heard of this notorious "sexploitation" film, but had never gotten around to seeing it. Now that I have, all I can say is "Wow." It helps to imagine me with a glazed look on my face and slack-jawed amazement. Wow. It was SO bad.

In order to share my intense psychological damage, due to this film, I've opted to share two of my favorite (if you can call them that) scenes with you. The first one (shown on the left) is preceded by Stallone saying to Kitty "Let's get high." Then the scenes directly following that statement includes a montage of what I've termed the "Smile Pussy Smile Smile Pussy Banana-style." Masterful!

The last scene of the film follows after an all-out orgy (complete with funhouse mirror!), where the entire cast joins hands and plays "Ring Around The Rosie" while completely naked. Everyone is obviously high and/or mentally challenged. Stallone's facial expressions are both mystifying and laugh-inducing. Enjoy.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Johnny Knoxville Needs My Kisses

Does it get any dreamier than this, I ask you? I think not. An awesome photo of Johnny from the October 2004 issue of The Advocate. SIGH...beautiful.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Introducing Mister Bitterworth

Recently, I jokingly made the comment in a reply to one of my blog entries: "If I only had my own column." Referring to, my own advice-to-the-lovelorn column. Well, one of my readers commented that they thought it would be interesting to see me try my hand at it. So, I thought "Why the heck not?", but only after some apprehension.

I've noticed that I sometimes tend to avoid some topics on my blog or edit how I word things, in fear that some of the people who enjoy my blog (and whose friendship I enjoy), might be offended and no longer wish to be my "friend." I don't do it often, but I have caught myself doing it. I don't know why, 'cause I sure don't do it in real life.

With that said, I HAVE decided to give the column a try, BUT I must preface it by saying that I'll be responding to any/all letters as I would if asked my opinion in real life. I'm hoping for the best, but I also can't tiptoe around everyone's feelings/opinions/mores. Any response I give is just MY opinion, so I hope that if someone writes in, they'll keep that in mind.

Though the author of the original column that started this whole thing, is strictly an advice-to-the-lovelorn-type, I'm going to broaden that horizon and be more along the lines of Dear Abby or Dear Harriett, but with a more cynical (I like to think of it as "realistic") approach. Thus my new pen-name: Mister Bitterworth. I can't guarantee I'll be completely sardonic every time, but I promise to try. Lol! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to deliberately give out bad advice. It just may not be as life-affirming as Abby might give.

I've created a logo, added a corresponding button to the left-hand column and I'm good to go. You're welcome to download it and put it on your page with a link to this blog entry, should you choose to. I would've made the button on my page link to sending an e-mail somehow, but me no smart.

I have a sinking feeling one of three things will come of this: [1] Like some of my past appeals at audience participation, absolutely nothing. At which point I'll shrug and go "fugeddah 'bout it." [2] I'll irrevocably offend someone I like, or [3] I'll get lots of crank letters. Ah, but if you don't try, you'll never know. Oui? Oui. (heh...I said wee wee)

So, feel free to write in. All names shall remain anonymous. If I get enough (any) letters, I'll do my best to respond to at least one a week. E-mail me at: Be sure and put "Dear Mister Bitterworth" or something similar as the subject.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Collage Machine 1.0

Wheee! Check it out! This is my first collage that I made over at Collage Machine 1.0! I LOVE making collages. I find it very therapeutic and a lot of fun. I've been making collages since the mid 80's. Well now, thanks to the folks at Pentacom, making collages has been given the virtual treatment! Go check it out.

Oh, and in case you get frustrated (like I did initially) with not being able to put images in front of or behind other images, just drag them over to the clippings box, then you'll be able to place something on top of something or vice versa. It's all about layers, so your collage may take a little planning, but it's a lot of fun.

Australian Teen Surfer Killed by 2 Sharks

Okay, okay, I realize this happened back on December 16th, but since it didn't receive much media attention, I thought perhaps some of you may not have heard/read about it. Besides with Christmas coming and all, I just got sidetracked when it came time to posting about it.

I realize that as a society we've all become somewhat desensitized to real-life violence because of our constant access to various mediums (TV news, movies, newspapers, the Internet, etc.). And even I'll admit I couldn't help but flash on images from the Jaws films when I read it, but can you imagine being witness to something like this in real life? I'd either soil myself or learn to fly. Very scary and very sad.

ADELAIDE, Australia - Two great white sharks attacked and killed a surfer while his friends watched in horror Thursday off a popular beach in the southern Australian city of Adelaide, authorities said.

The 18-year-old man had fallen from a surfboard being towed by a power boat when the sharks attacked off West Beach mid afternoon, South Australia state Sea Rescue Squadron spokesman Fraser Bell said.

One shark tore the victim in half and the second shark took the remains, witnesses said.

Two of the three 16-year-old boys who were in the tow boat witnessed the attack and received medical treatment for shock.

Police and state emergency services said there had been no sign of the victim or the sharks since the mid afternoon attack despite extensive searches of the coast.

Bell said the sharks, also known as white pointers, were between 15 and 17 feet long. They attacked about 250 yards from a crowded beach.

"He fell off the surfboard and the shark appeared and took him," Bell told reporters.

"It tore him apart ... apparently it tore him in half and the other shark came in and took the rest."

A woman on the beach who was not named told Seven Network television the shark that led the attack "caught his left arm and took him around the boat and then another shark has come in and they just took him to pieces."

The group of four friends, all from Adelaide, had been on the water for just 30 minutes before the attack.

Asked if there were any chance the victim had survived, Bell replied, "None whatsoever".

State police chief inspector David Lufty said beaches in the area would remain closed as the search continued for the killer sharks.

The tragedy is the second shark fatality in Australian waters within a week.

A 38-year-old man was killed by a shark while spearing fish on the Great Barrier Reef off northeast Australia on Saturday.

To read more fascinating (yet grim) true stories about shark attacks all over the world, go here.

While in the midst of researching sharks and their various breeds, I ran across one that truly creeped me OUT. It's called a Goblin Shark and let me tell you, I think I'd make more than a little 'deposit' in my swim trunks if this thing showed up. Fuckin' CREEPY!

According to my research, the Goblin Shark is "not dangerous to humans." However, I think it may be hazardous to my heart health. *Click on the image for more detail.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Soup to Nuts

As you know, I love a good sale. Esp. at the grocery store. Well, recently the local Minyard's had a sale on Borden milk: 1/2 gallon for 99¢. The nearest Minyard closed years ago and a Walmart Marketplace replaced it, so the nearest Minyard's is in South Arlington (Ech. I hate South Arlington). So, I decided to go a few nights ago around 9PM or so. First off, I was really impressed/surprised with how clean and orderly the store was. It was like something out of a Stepford Wife movie. I say "surprised" because the outside kinda looks like caca. You'd think that I'd learned about judging a book by it's cover by now, but apparently I haven't.

So anyway, I pick up a few things here and there and finally get to the milk and start putting 4 of them in my cart. (*Note: In case you're wondering, no I don't drink THAT much milk before it can expire, but you can freeze it. I do this whenever I come across a good sale on something. i.e. Bacon- 99¢, Milk- 99¢, Bread- 99¢, etc. And it doesn't affect the taste at all, for those who are wondering. BTW, cartons are best to freeze 'cause you can just stick 'em in the freezer, but with plastic jugs, you have to open them and empty out about 1/2 a glass.)

That's when I notice a sign the store has taped to the shelf that tells me that they made a mistake in the sales circular and that the ad should have said "Limit 2." TWO? Pphhllt! I drove all this way specifically for a special and they pull that outta their ass? Whatta gyp. So I begrudgingly put two back.

Since I'd never been to this store before, or for that matter a Minyard in years, I decided to look around since all stores carry different brands/items. Well, I was glad I did because I found brands that I assumed had been discontinued, but weren't! To me, that was very exciting. Especially when they are brands that you really like. Plus, some of Minyard's store brands turned out to be pretty tasty, too. Also, I thought the way the store had some of their items displayed/stored, was very smart and space-saving. For example, on the soup aisle they had a new (at least I'd never seen it before) way of dispensing/displaying the soups. The Campbell's soups, to be exact. The majority of them were in these devices that resembled those racks you can buy to put in your fridge, that dispense soft drinks. You know, where you pull one out and the rest roll down. VERY smart idea! I know it may sound like a goofy thing to be excited about, but I'm a grocery store fanatic, so I always get a kick out of packaging, displays, etc.

Oh! And another pro was that as I was approaching the checkout, some beautiful alcoholic guy got in line in front of me. Sigh. He was so pretty (to me, anyway). Dark hair, big biceps, tight shirt, great nose... Eyecandy! He was buying two cases of Bud Light. Oh well, so much for perfection. Still, I'd give him some kisses.

So much for the pros. Now for the cons. First off, when did a large box of Lucky Charms go up to $5+? And when I say "large," I mean barely larger than the original sized box. Who do think they're kidding? They may be magically delicious, but I'm not magically delirious. Fuck that. Second, why do parents allow their children to continually scream at intervals throughout their entire visit? I don't get it. If it was me, and my kid was screaming at the top of their lungs (for no good reason), they better be one of 3 things: [1] Being kidnapped. [2] Experiencing bodily harm. Or [3] Just won the lottery. Ridiculous! Also, what's with all the security cameras in grocery stores these days? I mean, I guess I can understand areas that may have high-priced items like medication or something, but the soup aisle? Frozen foods? Soft drinks? Who are these food Houdinis? Forget Candid Camera, smile, you're on security camera. Gimme a break.

And last but not least, and this one pisses me off the most, how is it okay for a store to close & lock one of their 2 entrances once 10 o'clock rolls around? And some of them *cough*Tom Thumb*cough* close them even earlier than that, try 8:30 or 9 o'clock. And yes, before you leave a comment to tell me it's for "security reasons," I know that. My point is, I think it's mondo retarded, not to mention inconvenient on SO many levels:

-What if you part near one entrance to "run in" and get something, then have to walk all the way around the front of the building to leave? (this happened to me)

-What if there's some kind of fire or hostage situation (terrorist's love Caprisun)? I can see it now. Some undetected soul breaks away from the hostages, crawls to the north entrance/exit, only to see a cashier poke their head from behind a stack of Wild Cherry Pepsi to whisper "That door's locked sir, you'll have to use the other exit. Thank you for shopping Minyard's." Then a shot rings out. Poor guy. If he'd only known about the locked door rule.

And the list goes on. On this particular night it was a double-edged sword. One the one hand, like an idiot, I parked near the entrance that ended up being the one that got put on lockdown at 10PM (That explains all the great parking spaces so close to the door. How was I supposed to know?!). When I was finished at the checkout and was on my way to said exit, I was informed that the door was locked and that I'd have to use the other exit. Joy. HOWEVER, on the flip side of that, when I eventually got to my car at the other end of the store, some woman pulled up and parked in the space right next to my car, where I had intended to roll my cart into to unload. Naturally. So I pulled the cart back and had to wait for her to finish a phone call, before I could inch my way between our two vehicles (the bitch parked too fuckin' close!), and begin to put my groceries away. Well, after exiting the car with newfound urgency (without so much as an 'excuse me' or any kind of acknowledgement) she rushed up to the doors... and nothing. They didn't automatically open like she'd hoped. I stifled a laugh and then made her wait on the narrow sidewalk while I attempted to grab hold of some bags of groceries (So slippery! Gee. Imagine that). Hee hee. I'm going to Hell. Yippee!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

And the Winner is...

The winner of the My So-Called Strife raffle is Patricia! Congratulations!

I took the liberty of taking a couple of digital photos of the actual drawing, for any skeptics out there. Since I couldn't locate a paper bag, I tossed the slips of paper with the entrant's names on them, into an old KFC bucket that I'd been using to hold assorted treasures.

My sincere thanks to all that participated. You'll be notified by e-mail of any future raffles, drawing and/or giveaways. Thanks!

Cinema Obscura

As you know, I love movies. Well, today I am going to introduce you to some of my favorite obscure movies. The up side to having no life is that I have plenty of time to experiment with movies I may have not seen otherwise. Remember, just because you haven't heard of it or because it was unsuccessful at the theater and/or there are no "big stars" in it, doesn't mean it's not a good movie. There are plenty of dusty cinematic gems in your local video store if you only take the time to look AND know what to look for. I hope you'll check one of these out and perhaps discover a new favorite of your own in the process.

Fire With Fire. 1986
Synopsis: A young woman (Virginia Madsen) from a Catholic school and a young man (Craig Sheffer) from a nearby prison camp fall in love and must runaway together to escape the law, the church and their parents.
Comments: This is one of my favorite 80's movies. It's like Footloose meets Heaven Help Us meets Romeo & Juliet. This is the movie that turned me on to the beautiful Virginia Madsen.

Dangerously Close. 1986
Synopsis: A group of vigilante honor students that call themselves "The Sentinels" take their self-appointed enforcement policies too far when they become involved in a series of deaths among lower-income students at Vista Verde high school.
Comments: You MUST rent this movie. Especially if you are a lover of 80's teen movies. I missed it when it came out in the 80's, but when I saw it back in the early 90's for the first time, it was like a little time machine surprise package. John Stockwell looks hot (as he did in all his 80's movies), as did the underrated Carey Lowell (she's married to Richard Gere... lucky bitch).

Heart of Midnight. 1989
Synopsis: Carol (Jennifer Jason Leigh) inherits a night club from her weird uncle. She moves into the place, only to find out just how weird her uncle really was.
Comments: I remember renting this back in the late 80's and thinking how beautiful it was. It was so surreal, creepy and just downright different. I'd describe it as an S&M Salvador Dali film on acid. Check it out.

The Reflecting Skin. 1990
Synopsis: A young boy tries to cope with rural life circa 1950's and his fantasies become a way to interpret events. After his father tells him stories of vampires, he becomes convinced that the widow up the road is a vampire, and tries to find ways of discouraging his brother (Viggo Mortensen) from seeing her.
Comments: WEIRD but visually rich film. Rent it for the toad on the road scene, if for no other reason. Viggo looks HOT.

The Linguini incident. 1991
Synopsis: Lucy (Rosanna Arquette) is waiting tables at Dali's, a restaurant for the terminally trendy, while she tries to get her act together as an escape artist. Monte (David Bowie) is a suave bartender and pathological liar. For some mysterious reason, Monte is desperate to marry someone by Friday. And Cecil and Dante are the preposterously flamboyant owners who seem to have a stake in Monte's past and Lucy's future.
Comments: There are so many things I love about this movie, I just can't say enough good things. It cracked me up and I instantly fell in love with the characters.

Blood & Concrete. 1991
Synopsis: The sole supplier of the wonder drug Libido is murdered in his Hollywood Hills home, and L.A.'s rich and ruthless embark on a frenzied search for their new love drug connection (Jennifer Beals, Billy Zane, Darren McGavin, James LeGros).
Comments: Billy Zane looks fuckin' H-O-T in this movie. If you're a fan of unconventional, quirky movies, you'll love this one. Think neo noir. Great soundtrack, too.

If Lucy Fell. 1996
Synopsis: Joe (Eric Schaeffer) and Lucy (Sarah Jessica Parker) are roommates and best friends. Lucy, whose love life is embarrassingly dull, convinces Joe, who is infatuated with a neighbor he's never met, that if they don't have stable romances within a month, they must jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Comments: This is one of my favorite movies. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it. I just loved everything about it. It was also the first time I'd ever seen/heard of Eric Schaeffer who played one of the main characters as well as directed the film. You may look at him and think to yourself "Huh? I don't get it." I can't explain it. I find his personality and face very appealing. A really fun movie about the pitfalls of dating and life after 30.

[Other Favorites]
'Night Mother. 1986
Slam Dance. 1987
Spirit of the Beehive. 1973
The Locusts. 1997
Fall. 1997

Monday, February 21, 2005

LAST DAY to Buy Raffle Tickets

A total of twelve (12) raffle tickets have been sold so far. Remember, today is the last day tickets can be purchased via PayPal. Tickets are just $1 apiece. The winner's name will be announced tomorrow.

Thanks to all those who have participated. Good luck!

Keyword Klatch & Link Updates: Vol. 3

That's right. It's that time again. Here is the latest screen capture of the list of most recent words/phrases that people have typed into search engines that ultimately brought them to my blog. I think my favorites this month are: "giant turkey bbq cartoon", "joey lawrence pecs" (ROWR!), "lou ferrigno hercules pecs" (double ROWR!), "boston terrier constant diarrhea" (LOL! WTF?) and "lovebird scab" (huh?). Oh, and the one that was my very favorite (and most cryptic), but was too long to use in the image: "joan jett i like fucking you is that better oh yeah hi marla fuck you too. you do take it the ass anyway. i am glad to" (WTF?)

Also, for all those people who are evidently searching for Kip's poem from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, here it is:

Your sandy hair floats in the air...
To me it's like a lullaby...
I'm just flying by...
Oh so high...
like a kite...
tied to a skate...

New Links Added:

-Rob Rossi

Blog Resources
-The Blog Company
-Nerds on Site
-Quiz Your
-TrueFresco [Referrer Feed Service]

Books & Magazines
-Giant Magazine

Celebs & Eyecandy
-Josh Duhamel [Another site]
-Vince Vaughn

-Einstein Bros. Bagels
-Patatas Chef
-Shop 2000

Fun Stuff
-Collage Machine 1.0
(Thanks to Cyber Chocolate!)


Movies & Television
- First Look Media [Trailers]
-Movie Poster Awards

-Rato Records

Pop Culture
-Magic Inkwell Comic Strip Theatre

Resources [e-Cards]
-1001 Postcards
-Postcard Perfection [Free e-Cards]


Time Machine
-Album Covers: Early 70's

-Down With Pants
-Kate's Ramblings and Wanderings
-Mussel Juice
-A Non-Stop Cavalcade of Fun
-Too Much Going On

Friday, February 18, 2005

WARNING: Addictive

Oh my god, I am SO addicted right now. I normally don't get into playing games on the computer, but these games have me ADDICTED! And the real fun part is, after you have played them you can then "challenge" people you know via e-mail. SO FUN! Check 'em out. There's all kinds of games:

Puzzle Games
(May I suggest Big Money, Trick or Treat Smash, FrogMania and Lil' Quackers?)

Action Games
(May I suggest Gold Miner(both versions), Valentiner, Snake Snacks and War on Terror?)

So go! Have fun! You'll either want to kill me or hug me. I promise! Lol!

Virtual Art Gallery: Part II

All of today's photographs were taken by André Kertész. You can read more about his fascinating life and see more of his photographs at:

André Kertész (1894-1985)
André Kertész
André Kertész (Getty Museum)

• 'Fork' Paris 1928
• 'Arm and Ventilator' December1937
• 'Puddle, Empire State Building' 1967
• 'Broken Plate' 1929
• 'In The Cellar, Williamburg' 1948
• 'Martinique' January 1, 1972

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Virtual Art Gallery: Part I

Being the avid collector of images I find online, I have accumulated a lot of different categories of images over time. Today's entry is part 1 of a 2-part blog, comprised of various art work that I like. Inspired by my friend Gatochy, whose blog is always beautiful, inspirational and original.

• Unknown: File was originally titled "Birthday cake"
• Unknown: File was originally titled "Circled voice"
• Unknown Artist: Oil on canvas
• 'Self Portrait' Artist: Greg Nanamura
• 'Son of Man' Artist: Rene Magritte
• Artist: Jacques Louise David
• 'Portrait of a Gentleman' Artist: Henri Martine, 1937
• 'Red Circles Square' Artist: Ruth Adler
• Unknown Photographer: Color photograph: Subway bench
• Unknown Photographer: Color photograph: Mannequin window reflection
• Unknown Artist: B&W still life
• Unknown Photographer: B&W photograph: Male nude
• 'The Perfect Gentleman: Self Portrait' Artist: Fakir Musafar, 1959
• Unknown Photographer: Color photograph: Fall leaves on surface of water
• Unknown: File was originally titled "Patriot"

*If you know the artist or the title of any of the "Unknown" pieces, feel free to let me know.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Partnership Pablum

[ Click the image to read the article in its' entirety ]

As I was reading the newspaper the other day, this article caught my attention. The column is written by a woman named Amy Alkon, whose dubbed herself the "Advice Goddess." Though her title is relatively hokey, I always enjoy her columns. Sometimes I disagree with her and I find her advice too bogged down in humor to execute any real-life advice, and sometimes she's right on the money. This is one of those articles that is right on the money. Overall, she never ceases to make me laugh outloud.

I've highlighted the passages that rang particularly true for me. I, too, am one of those people that doesn't understand the whole obsession with being "completed." Lord knows I'm all for people finding love and/or someone they can relate to. However, on the flip side of that, I can't tell you how many friendships I have lost because a friend has gotten tunnelvision once they "found someone," only to magically have newfound interest in our friendship once the relationship has cooled off, or ended altogether. I guess I just don't understand why one has to forsake all sense of self once "coupled." Free-thinking, intelligent, fun-loving individuals who had previously been able to think for themselves, now have to confer with their "significant other" on the simplest of things. I actually used (emphasis on used) to be friends with a couple that made the Geneva Conference seem simple, every time I asked them (gone were the days of singular pronouns) if they wanted to get together sometime and play Boggle. For this they needed to sit and have a meeting of the minds for several minutes in hushed tones, while I pretended to busy myself with refreshing their drinks or paying a visit to the bathroom. For Christ's sake, it's a casual invitation to play a board game. It's not like I'm asking you for one of your kidneys! Personally, I find the whole coupledom mentality all very mystifying and more than a little disheartenting.

With all the talk of the "Covenant Marriage" that seems to be the GOP's latest religion-based delusion, you may also be interested in reading more about it:

What is a 'covenant?'
New Type of Marriage Would Be Tougher to Get Into, Out of
Covenant Marriage is Just a Bad Deal
Promoting the Tougher Vows of 'Covenant Marriage'

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Echoes of the Holocaust

While watching movie trailers for upcoming movies, I ran across this interesting new documentary that apparently came out January 21st. As far as I know, the movie hasn't hit here yet, but when it does, I hope I get the opportunity to see it. Here's a synopsis, courtesy of IMDB:

Watermarks is the story of the champion women swimmers of the legendary Jewish sports club, Hakoah Vienna. Hakoah ("The Strength" in Hebrew) was founded in 1909 in response to the notorious Aryan Paragraph, which forbade Austrian sports clubs from accepting Jewish athletes. Its founders were eager to popularize sport among a community renowned for such great minds as Freud, Mahler and Zweig, but traditionally alien to physical recreation. Hakoah rapidly grew into one of Europe's biggest athletic clubs, while achieving astonishing success in many diverse sports.

In the 1930s Hakoah's best-known triumphs came from its women swimmers, who dominated national competitions in Austria. After the Anschluss, in 1938, the Nazis shut down the club, but the swimmers all managed to flee the country before the war broke out, thanks to an escape operation initiated by Hakoah's functionaries.

Sixty-five years later, director Yaron Zilberman meets the members of the swimming team in their homes around the world, and arranges for them to have a reunion in their old swimming pool in Vienna, a journey that evokes memories of youth, femininity, and strengthens lifelong bonds. Told by the swimmers, now in their eighties, Watermarks is about a group of young girls with a passion to be the best.

[ Click the image for more detail ]

I think it looks and sounds fascinating. As grim as it may sound, I'm fascinated by documentaries and films that take place during the Holocaust. I'm not Jewish nor German myself, but I still find the subject matter interesting. Quickly skimming my DVD collection, I noticed I own a couple of Holocaust-related movies/documentaries, that may prove to be particularly interesting to my gay and lesbian readers, since they both deal with the subject matters of the gay men and women who were killed during the Holocaust. Naturally, I don't have to tell you that they are both excellent and very heartbreaking. The sad reality is that I'm sure there are still people out there today that think "They (the Nazis) had the right idea." And the nuttiest of all? The people who actually are in such denial that they literally believe none of it ever happened. Very ignorant and very sad.

The first film is called Bent and stars Clive Owen, Ian McKellen, Mick Jagger and a very small role played by Jude Law.
Synopsis: Max is gay and as such is sent to Dachau concentration camp under the Nazi regime. He tries to deny he is gay and gets a yellow label (the one for Jews) instead of pink (the one for gays). In camp he falls in love with his fellow prisoner Horst, who wears his pink label with pride.
Comments: Wow. The first time I saw this movie, I thought my throat was going to collapse from trying to hold back the tears. The entire film is very well done, as are the performances. Believe it or not, Mick Jagger plays a drag queen and does a really good job. If the scenes toward the end of the film (if not before) don't bring a lump to your throat, you're just not human. Great, great movie. Try to find it if you can. The movie is based on a play by Martin Sherman. The movie is available at for under $10.

The other DVD I have is a documentary called Paragraph 175.
Synopsis: "Paragraph 175" refers to the old German penal code concerning homosexuality, which was used to justify the prosecution of gay men during the war (the code ignored lesbians, still considered viable baby-making vessels). By the 1920's, Berlin had become known as a homosexual eden, where gay men and lesbians lived relatively open lives amidst an exciting subculture of artists and intellectuals. With the coming to power of the Nazis, all this changed. Between 1933 and 1945 100,000 men were arrested for homosexuality under Paragraph 175, the sodomy provision of the German penal code dating back to 1871. Some were imprisoned, others were sent to concentration camps. Of the latter, only about 4,000 survived. Today, fewer than ten of these men are known to be living. Five of them have now come forward to tell their stories for the first time.
Comments: The first I heard about this film was when I as working at a video store and I saw it while browsing through a upcoming releases catalog. I ordered a copy to purchase, and was glad that I did. It's very real and sometimes painful to watch because some of the men's pain is still very fresh and deliberately buried, but never forgotten. I found it very fascinating and the stories are priceless. The DVD is available through for $4 on VHS or $20 on DVD. The DVD contains deleted scenes and other features that you may find interesting.

Though I realize the subject matter is a dire one, I hope that if you do decide to rent, purchase or go see any of these films that they make you appreciate what freedoms you do have, as well as make you think.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Valentine's is my second favorite holiday (Halloween being #1). And I'm not one of those sadsacks who's waiting to be made "complete" by someone else before he can enjoy the holiday. I love looking at all the decorations, cards and candy. Who can resist a box of those little Necco Conversation Hearts? Not me! Save me the white ones, 'cause they're my favorite!

I'll be going to the movies, then on to enjoy lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant. And maybe, just maybe, a visit to the epitome of all that is evil, the mall. Where I hear that Hot Topic has Napoleon Dynamite merchandise.

So, enjoy these retro Valentines (given to me by a good friend), and I hope you all have a terrific Valentine's Day!

[Click Images For A Larger Version]

Valentine Movie Recommendations

Cupid. 1997
Death has a new dark angel.

Synopsis: A brother and sister with a past incestuous relationship have a current murderous relationship. He murders the women who reject him and she murders the women who get too close to him.

Comments: Kinky suspense thriller starring Zach Gallagan. ROWR! Zach who you may remember from Gremlins, looks miiiighty purty in this one. If you have a Zach fetish like I do, then you'll also wanna check out Waxwork. By the way, today is Zach's birthday. Happy Birthday Zach!. Forty-one kisses for Zach! The VHS for Cupid is just $2 at!

The Love Letter. 1999

No one knows who sent it. No one knows who it's for. But everyone's getting the same message.

Synopsis: The power of words and images to open hearts. Helen runs, miles a day, to burn off energy: she's an emotional celibate. Going through the post at her shop, she finds a romantic and poetic letter between the couch cushions, unsigned, and thinks it's for her. It melts her resistance to feelings, and soon she undertakes an affair with Johnny, a collegiate employee. (He sees the letter and thinks she wrote it to him; he quotes some of it, so she thinks he wrote it to her.) In the background are Helen's long-time friend, George, who loves her, and her mother who abruptly left on a long trip months' before. Discovering who actually wrote the letter brings insight and promise.

Comments: I can't relate to you how much I love this movie. This was Kate Capshaw's pet project and personally, it's one of my favorite "romantic" movies. I SO want to have her job at the bookstore and live in the fictional Loblolly-by-the-sea. The movie co-stars Ellen DeGeneres (hilarious) and Tom Everett, who I think is dreamy. Rent it! It's the perfect little sleeper movie for Valentine's Day. The DVD is a mere $3.50 at!

My Bloody Valentine. 1981

There's more than one way to lose your heart...

Synopsis: There's a big valentine-party planned in the little miningtown Valentine's Bluff. It is the first valentine party in 20 years, because then there was an accident in the mine, and the accident happened because the men responsible for the security was at the party. The sole surviving miner killed them, and told the town NEVER to arrange a valentine party again. The party begins, and so does the killing...

Comments: The poster art for this movie is one of my all-time horror movie favorites. A creepy, suspenseful slasher with a Valentine's Day motif.

Valentine. 2001

Remember that kid everyone ignored on Valentine's Day? - He remembers you.

Synopsis: Four Friends start to receive morbid valentine day cards. Someone out there is stalking them....someone they all spurned when they were younger. And Valentines Day 2001 is the Day she/he gets their revenge.

Comments: I bought and read the book that this movie was based on as soon as I heard its' synopsis. The book, by Tom Savage, was really great. Very Silence of the Lambs-ish. However, the movie is considerably different, but also good, but in a different way. The movie harks back to the 80's slashers I remember/love and wasn't afraid to be bloody. Plus, the cast is easy on the eyes and does a plausible job. The book has some great suspense, as does the movie. I'd highly recommend both of them. The DVD is just $2 at! The paperback is just 75¢!

Valentin. 2002

Cupid just turned eight.

Synopsis: An 8-year-old boy, raised by his grandmother, is surrounded by problems in his family he finds only himself capable of solving.

Comments: Sweet, sweet, sweet! You owe it to yourself to rent this little Italian gem. It recently was released to DVD and is really great. Another great choice for Valentine's Day. You'll thank me later.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I Don't Get it.

Recently, I spied this full page ad in a free periodical. It's for the new luxurious Azure condo tower in Dallas. Maybe I'm just cuckoo for Coco Puffs, but I don't understand the logic behind someone paying $400,000.00 for a ONE bedroom condo, when here in Texas you could buy a house with less than half of that (even less if you don't buy one of those new clone monstrosities everyone around here seems to consider a "house") and use the rest to furnish it, fill the two car garage and buy groceries for a year.

And if the 1 bedroom isn't your style, you may want to check out the subpenthouses. They start at a mere $1,465,000,000.00. Penthouse pricing is available upon request. I can't begin to imagine how much THAT is. Architectually, the place looks great and the website it top drawer, not to mention the amenities. I guess I'm just not that impressed with pretense. Like I said the logic here is lost on me. Bananas. Totally bananas.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Ticket Sales...

A total of three (3) raffle tickets have been sold so far. Remember, the latest date tickets can be purchased via PayPal are Feb. 21st and Feb. 14th for snail mail. Drawing will be held and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, February 22nd.

Thanks for those who have participated. Good luck!

UPDATE! Make that (6) SIX tickets sold.

Sometimes the Duplicate Surpasses the Original

Once the "controversy" has died down and the radio play has somewhat fizzled, love him or hate him, Eminem is pretty. At least I think so. That's why when I ran across these images during my ongoing pilgrimage for all things jpg, I had to add them to my collection. Initially I thought "Yowsa! The Real Slim Shady's been doin' some serious workin' out!" Then, upon closer inspection, I realized it wasn't him but some guy named Ryan Shepard instead. As it turns out, he's Eminem's body and stunt double in a lot of his videos. The resemblance is uncanny though, isn't it? Well, not that uncanny, considering how many clones came about during the years between '99 and '00. I can't help but love his latest radio-friendly song Like Toy Soldiers with it's 80's-licious sampling of one-hit-wonder Martika's Toy Soldiers.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Movies With Bite

I don't know about you, but I get such a kick out of those Mother Nature gone amuck killer-animal movies. Sure, some of them range somewhere between plausible and cheesy, but you gotta admit they're always a lot of fun. When I started writing this entry I felt compelled to listen to Blondie's song One Way Or Another. Without further ado, I give you my top 4 favorites.

Jaws. 1975
Don't go in the water

Synopsis: A Great White Shark decides to make the small beach resort town of Amity his private feeding grounds. This greatly frustrates the town police chief who wants to close the beaches to chase the shark away. He is thwarted in his efforts by the town's mayor who finally relents when nothing else seems to work and the chief, a scientist, and an old fisherman with revenge on his mind take to the sea to kill the beast.
Comments Wjat can be said about this that hasn't already been said? It's the one that started it all. The one for which this post wouldn't exist without. Often imitated, but never duplicated, this (combined with real-life shark attacks) succeeded in making me think twice about going into the water. Cliched, but true.

Grizzly. 1976
18 Feet of Man-Eating Terror!

Synopsis: A fifteen-foot grizzly bear figures out that humans make for a tasty treat. As a park ranger tries rallying his men to bring about the bear's capture or destruction, his efforts are thwarted by the introduction of dozens of drunken hunters into the area.
Comments Hot on the heels of summer blockbuster Jaws, this made-for-TV movie (mfTVm) wasted no time in capitalizing on Jaws' popularity. Made during an era that I consider the premiere era of mfTVmovies, this is one that's not afraid to be surprisingly bloody. At a time when some TV movies were, in my opinion, just as appealing as what was being offered at the theater, Grizzly is one of a long list of favorite mfTVmovies that I love (I'll save those for another blog entry). For those who enjoy slashers and/or man-vs-nature-type movies, this one more than fits the bill.

Tentacles. 1977
Each year 10,000 tourists visit Ocean Beach. This summer Ocean Beach has attracted SOMETHING ELSE!

Synopsis: An enormous and angry octopus besieges an ocean harbor town after a greedy construction owner (Henry Fonda) made a tunnel in the ocean and disturbed it's home. Bo Hopkins, Shelley Winters and John Huston go out to sea along with killer whales to track it down and kill it.
Comments I love this movie. I remember watching it on TV one afternoon in the 80's and being thoroughly creeped out. Of course, to make things even creepier, and take advantage of our aural senses, I distinctly remember the octopus making a creepy hissing sound. Aaaaiiiggh! Make it stop! Sure, it's cheesy, but it's also a lot of fun. TOTALLY ripped off from Jaws, but predating Jaws 2, with it's regatta/smorgasbord et al. Rent it, you'll have fun. *Note: This movie is available on DVD, unfortunately it was a Best Buy "exclusive" double feature DVD alongside Empire of the Ants. I'm sure you can find it at your local Best Buy, since I have been unsuccessful finding used copies on either or However, I do see them quite frequently on eBay. Good luck!

Alligator. 1980
It lives 50 feet beneath the city. It's 36 feet long. It weighs 2,000 pounds...And it's about to break out!

Synopsis: Ramon the alligator is flushed down the toilet as a baby, and grows into a gargantuan monster by eating the corpses of laboratory animals who have undergone dubious hormone experiments. But as Ramon grows, so does his appetite.
Comments Wow. I remember watching this one night on TV and being mesmerized by it. Being a kid, the scene where one child forces another, dressed as a pirate to "walk the plank" into the swimming pool, not realizing that 'Ramon' is hiding out there, succeeded in totally creeping me OUT! Suspend your disbelief at the door. Fun stuff! Wish I had this one on DVD.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Say What? Vol. 2

That's right, it's that time again. Time to Give! That! Photo! A Caption! C'mon, you know you want to. I love this picture. It cracks me up! Make me proud.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

This Week's WTF Moment...

Idaho Teen Scalped After Slight...
^ CLICK Image For Full Story ^

Brother, Can You Spare an Endorsement?

DISCLAIMER: Today's topic may prove be too malicious for some of my more sensitive readers, so if you have issues with me bemoaning congenital amputee supermodels, then please go here instead, but just for today. Come back tomorrow though, 'cause we'll be having punch and cookies. Now onto my rant.

So, late November rolls around and I'm making baked goods for the widows and orphans annual jamboree and listening to the TV playing in the living room, which just happens to be tuned to Larry King Live. I hear Larry King gushing over some college teen and repeatedly asking him, his girlfriend and his family where he got such a great, upbeat outlook on life. I gotta get a load of this, so I peek out the doorway and into the living room and see the screen flash on some hunky tater named Kyle Maynard. I learn that he's on the wrestling team at the university he attends and that he is indeed trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Stories have been written about Kyle and his legacy of courage since the age of 11 when he played football on his school's football team. Kyle is now 18 and wrestling on his college wrestling team.

So, as the interview goes on we learn about how Kyle's congenital defect has parlayed him into a celebrity of sorts. Not only is he a football player, wrestler and all-around courageous human being (did I mention he's courageous?), he can now add "model" to his resume, thanks to Vanity Fair and Ambercrombie & Fitch. That's right, our pals at Ambercrombie & Fitch, a company truly dedicated to appealing to the "everyman" in us all, a veritable springboard for the downtrodden, has chosen Kyle to be a prominent model in one of their ad campaigns.

At this point in the interview, I can actually feel my interest plummeting, so I listened a little more, only to be completely turned off when the first of many not-so-subtle hints were repeatedly dropped for someone, anyone (crosses fingers that a major truck manufacturer in search of a gimmick is watching) could provide him with a modified SUV. Specifically a SUV. That's a Sports Utility Vehicle. That's spelled S-U-V. Did I mention he was in search of a SUV? SUV. I was waiting for them to post a phone number across the bottom of the screen, where I could call in and pledge. As I'm about to change the channel, I hear a plug for his website. Oh yeeeeaaah. He's already got his own domain and everythin'. Okay, I'll bite.

Going to his web site, it's just more of the same: courageous stories about a courageous man. Then I see it: "Online Store." I just had to click on the link. Well, you'll be happy to know you can now purchase your very own Kyle Maynard poster, T-shirt and/or motivational CD.

His biography, entitled "No Excuses!" will be hitting the bookstores sometime in 2005. Why not make some money while inspiring others? It's the American way. Just ask endorsement whore Lance Armstrong.

So here's the part where I say things that may or may not piss you off. I'm thinking not, since I didn't receive one single death threat after my Scott Peterson post nor my Jizz For Jewelry post. Here goes: At what point do you cease being the life-affirming, inspirational underdog and cross over into whoring yourself out being the oddity you claim to not want to be labeled as in the first place? Of course I'm not saying that the physical side isn't lamentable. However, I am saying that whoring yourself out for goodies (not unlike Nora Ephron at the recent Ladies' Home Journal Awards) falls into the realm of the Springer crowd.

It all reminds me of the Oprah episodes that everyone seems to find so endearing and inspiring. You know, the ones where she has the latest semen receptacle with fashion sense on the show, who through the "miracle" of chemistry, has just disgorged quintuplets, sextuplets, heptuplets, octuplets, nontuplets and/or decuplets. Take your pick. It all depends on whether it's Sweeps Week or not. And then proceeds to spend the rest of the show "surprising" them with free clothes, cars, food, furniture, appliances, college educations, everything short of nanny service and a new home (and in some cases, even that). It all smacks of exploitation, if you ask me. Color me turned off (and slightly turned on, 'cause Kyle is kinda dreamy), but I'm holding out for the Kyle action figure with Genuine Handout Action! Whatever.

Forget Flowers, Say it With Candy!

I saw this over at Cheeky's place who saw it over at Mass Chick's place who swallowed the dog to catch the cat who swallowed a bird to catch the spider...wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, anyway, I saw this over at Cheeky Professor's and thought it was too fun not to share. Here are a sampling of some of the personalized conversation hearts I made. Go try it our for yourself at ACME Heart Maker!

Monday, February 07, 2005

Upcoming DVD Releases Vol. 1

[ Click the image for more detail ]
While visiting Digital recently, I decided to make my annual list of movies that I either want to rent and/or purchase. I used to post this kind of thing on a regular basis over at my Yahoo! group, Headcandy, but since I've started the blog, I think I'll start keeping track of it here,instead. Key: P= Purchase R= Rental

The Cat and the Canary [P]
Though I already own this classic silent film on DVD, this version promises to have much better picture quality. A classic to watch on a dark and stormy night!

Feb. 8
Rocky Marciano [P]
Hurray! I can finally replace my VHS. Jon Favre is white- H-O-T in this movie.
Hercules the Avenger [P]

Feb. 15
Donnie Darko [P]
Depending on what this new "uncut" edition has to offer, I may purchase this. Since I already own the original release, this new edition is gonna have to convince me.
The Motorcycle Diaries [R]
Black Shampoo [P]

Feb. 22
I <3 Huckabees [P]
I've been wanting to see this one for a long time. I'm not surprised this existential comedy didn't last long at theaters considering the majority of the American moviegoing audiences don't know what existential means, much less being able to pronounce it. Such a great cast, too. I'm so glad to see Lily Tomlin in a movie again!
Around the Bend [R]
On a Clear Day You Can See Forever [P]
At the risk of having my gay status revoked, I am not a big Barbra Streisand fan. However, this is just a great, surreal little movie, I can't resist.
Modern Problems [P]
Finally! I remember seeing this one at the theater. So much fun. Nell Carter as "Dorita" is hilarious!
Venus in Furs [P]
Madhouse [R]
Been reading a lot about this creepy little chiller. I'm anxious to see if it lives up to the hype.

Mar. 1
The Brady Bunch: Season 1 [P]
Probably won't buy this one right away, but hope to own it eventually.
My Own Private Idaho [P]
Bringing Up Baby [P]
Dinner at Eight [P]
LOVE this movie. It's about time it was released to DVD.

Mar. 15
Bells Are Ringing [P]
L'eclisse [P]
God, I have been wanting this movie on DVD for years! It's only been available as a Region 2 DVD, so this is really exciting news for me! LOVE Alain Delon!
Toolbox Murders [R]
Been wanting to see this remake ever since I saw the creepy trailer online. Looks promising and scary as hell!

Mar. 22
The New Scooby-Doo Movies [P]
The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries [P]
I was just talking to one of my friends about these TV shows the other day! So excited! Growing up, I loved watching them!
The Pirate Movie [P]
I've been waiting for this one for years. A guilty pleasure.
Not On the Lips [R]
This movie stars Audrey Tautou, and I'm hoping for some similar Amelie-style magic.

Mar. 29
Closer [P]
Already know I am gonna love it. Jude Law + Clive Owen= Must-have.
Vera Drake [R]

April 5
The Amityville Horror II: The Possession [P]
Runaway Daughter [R]
Paul Rudd. Need I say more?

April 12
MAC & Me [P]
Cheese to the 10th power. So bad, I can't help but purchase it. It will be my remedy when I am feeling down in the dumps. SO BAD!

April 19
Birth [R]
Though not a huge Nicole Kidman fan, she looks A-MA-ZING in this movie. I'm curious to see, firsthand, what the big controversy was surrounding this film. I'm betting it was blown out of proportion, as usual.

[ Not Shown ]

Scaredto Death [R]

Feb. 22
It Happened to Jane [P]
Doris Day movie! They're always so much fun! Wheee!
My Sister Eileen [P]
Strangers When We Meet [P]

Mar. 1
The Philadelphia Story [P]

Mar. 8
The I Inside [P]
Ryan Phillips looks SO hot in this movie. But then he ALWAYS looks hot in his movies. Interesting thriller. Saw it on the Mystery Channel recently.

Mar. 15
Laura [P]
BEAUTIFUL Hitchcock classic. A must-have.
Easter Parade [P]
As a rule, I generally detest any musicals that don't star Gene Kelly or that wasn't made after 1978. However, Judy Garland does look beautiful in this movie and it's really colorful and fun. Come to think of it, lemme see how many musicals on DVD I own... Wow. Eleven. More than I thought. They include:

42nd Street
An American in Paris
Anchors Aweigh
Can't Stop The Music
Moulin Rouge
Phantom of the Paradise
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Singin' in the Rain
Stage Door Canteen

I may get my gay status reinstated yet!

April 19
Captain Blood [P]

May 3
That Darn Cat! [P]
The 1965 original with Hayley Mills!

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Dumbass(es) of the Day

And while we're on the subject of dumb assholes, you gotta check this one out. She takes the fuckin' cake. We can only hope someone puts her out of her misery. SOON.

*Thanks to the Cunning Linguist over at Convoluted Insanity.

Tie One On! All the Cool Kids are Doing It!

Yesterday, while eating lunch, I ran across this article in The Dallas Morning News and found it very interesting. Though I am not a big drinker, I do sometimes enjoy trying the latest fad in mix drinks. Apparently liqueurs, and Hpnotiq in particular, are the new "it" drinks of choice at the moment. I've seen the bottles at the liquor store, but have never tried it.

From what I've read, Hpnotiq seems to be an extremely versatile liqueur and can be mixed with just about anything. According to the article, the drinks pictured in the image on the left are (from front): X-Rated, Hpnotiq, Limoncello and RémyRed. Personally, I really wanna try the Limoncello!

Before I start listing some cool recipes for drinks, you might want to click on the article (excerpt) above and read a little about the new wave of "it" liqueuers. Oh, and if you go to Hpnotiq's website, they have groovy intro music, lots of cool desktops to download and, of course, lots of recipes. I'll be listing the most popular ones here:

Hpnotiq Hulk
2 oz. Hpnotiq
2 oz. Cognac

Layer over ice.
Stir for transformation

Hpnotiq Breeze
1 oz. Hpnotiq
1/2 oz. Super premium coconut rum
Splash of pineapple juice

Shake well or blend.
Pour over rocks or into hurricane glass.
Garnish with pineapple wedge.

2 oz. Hpnotiq
1 oz. Super premium vodka
Splash of lemon juice

Shake well, strain into martini glass.
Garnish with a lemon, lime twist, or star fruit slice (yeah, I have star fruit lyin' around the house!).

Hpnotiq Mimosa (Hpnosia)
2 oz. Hpnotiq
2 oz. Champagne

Pour chilled Hpnotiq and champagne into a champagne flute.
Garnish with a lemon twist or orange wheel.

I couldn't locate an exact recipe for to make a Hpnotiq Limoncello, but I did manage to find the ingredients: Hpnotiq, limoncello lemon liquer, lemon vodka, fresh lemon juice & seltzer. Mmmm! Can't you just taste the crispness?! I can't wait to make one!

For more recipes using Hpnotiq, click here.

And for even more great mix drink recipes, not necessarily made with Hpnotiq, click here. Also, be sure and check out my new link in the Food section of my Links list (located in the left column of my blog) for a link to Syrup Magazine!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Marshmallow Monkey Burger

[1] Candy! Candy! CANDY! I love the candy aisle at the local Walgreen's. So colorful and delicious. Current craving: Brach's Burnt French Peanuts

[2] The Gladys Kravits of the post office. I recently received a package from my friend Sarah and this woman couldn't stop staring to save her life. If only it could have been some really explicit porn. I'd love to have seen here face then.

[3] The Dogwood tree in my backyard is blooming prematurely. They look so Oriental and they smell so good. I just love them.

[4] The booth where I recently voted 'yes' to selling wine in Arlington. They said no cell phones, but no one mentioned digital cameras. I smell a loophole.

[5] My ladybug pal trying to read my instant messages. That crazy kid!

[6] I love the ice at Burger Box. You know, that kind that's crunchy, but also soft, kinda like snow. Strange how something so simple can make me so happy.

[7] Monkey Business Candy! Whee! All the nostalgia of the Barrel of Monkeys toy we grew up with, but edible and much more delicious! And since they are 'linkable' you can play with them before you eat them. Yippee!

[8] The Monterey Chicken taquitos from 7-11. I'm tellin' ya, they're little slices of heaven.

[9] A groovy old church in the nearby town of Fort Worth. Took this on a cloudy afternoon whilst on my way to get my hoagie fix.

[10] This picture has both pros & cons. I took it recently while at one of the Half Price book stores. Pro: He's SO my type! So cute, I wanted to give him kisses. Con: He was hanging out in the religion section. Ack! Kryptonite! No thanks.

[11] The local Burger Box. They're very small, but they make terrific hamburgers. I also love the small-town atmosphere. While I was sitting there having my lunch, I actually heard a woman at the drive-thru ask for a chiliburger without the bun. This "carb" shit has gotten outta control. People are seriously retarded.

[12] Man, oh man I wanted one of those sprocket thingies he was haulin'. I took this while sitting at a stoplight. The reminded me of giant clock cogs. Very cool. SIGH

[13] Saw this new weirdo popcorn hybrid during a trip to the local Tom Thumb, recently. It kinda sounds like it might be alright, but then it's almost too weird to taste good. I may have to buy some eventually. Methinks this won't be around too terribly long. Maybe our product guru, Marvo will try it out one of these days and give us his verdict. I bet it's probably similar to kettle corn.

My Inner Candy Heart Says...

discover your inner candy heart @ quiz me

Since Valentine's Day is my second favorite holiday (next to Halloween), I'll be sending out my annual Valentine's again this year. It's my firm belief that no one should go Valentine-free, so if you'd like to receive a Valentine from me, feel free to e-mail me the name/address you would like it sent to, at:, and I'll make sure that you get a Valentine that will make you the envy of all your blogger friends! *Just put the words "Valentine's Day" in the subject.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

The Boogeyman Cometh

Anxiously awaiting the upcoming movie Boogeyman (it opens this Friday), it got me to thinking (can you see the beads of sweat?) about something: Nite lites.

I used to ALWAYS have to have some form of light source on in my bedroom at night. That is, up until recent years. Not so much as a source of light, but more of a source of comfort. About 3 or 4 years ago I just said "Screw it. Come get me." and stopped using any form of light in my room. Unless of course you count my alarm clock, which is one of those Oregon Scientific Atomic Clocks that projects the time onto the ceiling. I really love it. And best of all, it ALWAYS has the correct time because it sets itself via radio signals! Neat!

But I digress. My point is, now my room is nice and dark and more conducive to sleep. However, having a vivid imagination, I sometimes freak myself out with thoughts like: "Wouldn't it be creepy to crawl into bed some night, assuming the silhouette on the bed is the mound of sheets, blankets, comforters, etc. and it actually be an intruder? There I am climbing into bed with my back to them, only to be unnerved when I feel breath on the back of my neck or hear them say in a hushed tone "good night." Eek!" That's when I start patting down the bed, just to make sure. That settles it. I've seen When A Stranger Calls way too many times.

Anyway, here's the point of this whole entry: Do you have a nite lite in your bedroom? If so, is it more a source of light (no stumped toes) or for other reasons? Would you be comfortable going to bed in a completely dark room? Are you comfortable sleeping with the closet door open? Even ajar?

I'm anxious to read your answers.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

More IMs From the Perpetually Horny Lovelorn

I should feel guilty, but I don't.

Bananas, Hot Dogs & Dynamite, Oh My!

If you grew up between the late 70's to early 80s, you gotta remember all the cool magazines that were distributed by Scholastic Books™ at the time. I know I do. I was talking to a friend recently and we were both reminiscing about the days when the teacher would hand out to the class those wonderful little 2-3 page "catalogs" from Scholastic. If I remember correctly it was usually in the spring and/or fall. I remember fall for sure, because I specifically remember ordering a book of "monster mazes" and something with Snoopy on it, where he had fangs and a cape. I also remember that this was where I first learned to love the Bunnicula series of books written by James and Deborah Howe. To me, though, there will always be only 3 in the series I grew up with: Bunnicula, The Celery Stalks At Midnight and Howliday Inn. For those not familiar with the books, they were about a vampire bunny who sucked the juices from innocent vegetables. Neat!

In addition to all the cool books and posters that you could buy, you could also order magazines, the likes of which were Dynamite (my personal favorite), Bananas (a close second), Hot Dog! (favorite #3), Pizzaz and Supermag. I remember that in one class, the teacher actually passed out the issues of Dynamite for FREE! Wowee! If I remember correctly, it was Mrs. Meason. She was swell. Her daughter turned out to be pretty cool, too (we graduated together). And speaking of posters, believe it or not, Lou Ferrigno (one of my #1 lustmonkeys) actually offers them on his website, still! How awesome is THAT? I still want them. One of these days I will make them mine! I totally remember the one that says "The Hulk Wants You To Have An Incredible Year!" That's exactly what it'd be alright, with Lou on my wall! Dreamy.

Well, in addition to the occasional catalog we would get in class, we also used to have an annual "book fair," which was held in the library. I looked forward to it every year. It was almost as exciting as seeing that box on the teacher's desk that signified that our book orders had finally arrived. I remember it felt so exhilirating just seeing the box opened and all the books inside! I could barely contain myself! I couldn't wait to hold them. Sigh. Good memories.

And for those who have noticed that I snuck a picture of 16 Magazine into the collage, you're pretty sharp! Yes, my love of magazines knows no bounds. I remember loving Star Hits (later changed to Smash Hits), Circus, 16, Bop, Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, Super Teen, Teen Machine, etc. I still run across the occasional copy around the house and enjoy reminiscing at how wonderfully cheesoriffic they were at the time. I think it's the reason I still buy the newer versions like J-14 and whatever others catch my eye.

I remember there used to be another magazine I would buy, but I can't remember the name of it. It was something "Lyrics," and it contained the song lyrics to all the popular songs they played on the radio. Very cool at the time. I also remember loving the magazine "specials" that would come out, and the entire magazines would open up into a gigantic poster. I remember having one of Madonna in all her day-glo glory. It's one of my favorite images of her. You know, the one where she's wearing the lime green sweater. It's a hard picture to find, or I'd hyperlink you to it. Trust me, it's very cool.

Also, do you remember when Fangoria magazine (for those who read it) had centerfold posters inside?! They would be scenes from whatever horror/slasher was hot at the moment. I distinctly remember the one for My Bloody Valentine, An American Werewolf In London and Friday The 13th. I miss that. It was a very cool idea. For they money they charge for a copy of their magazine now (try $8!!), there should still be a centerfold, dammit.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this stroll down magazine memory lane. I know it brought back lots of great memories for me. And for those who now feel the need to own some of these wonderful old magazines, check on eBay. Someone always has copies of Dynamite for sale.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Columbo, Credit Cards & Farrah Fawcett

Last night I had a really strange dream. I thought I'd share it with you:

I'm going visit a friend in the hospital (TV's Columbo AKA Peter Falk). When I go to the front desk to see what room he's in, I'm told that before anyone can visit a patient that they are required to give a credit card number as well as sign in. I thought this was an outrageous rule and asked them why I had to give them a credit card number just to visit a friend in the hospital. They refused to answer me and just kept kept saying "It's the rules." I mutter "Fuck this!" and start walking off towards the elevators. When I see that they are attempting to sic two security guards on me, I quickly pivot and head towards the gift shop located to the left of the elevators. When the guards start breathing down my neck, I turned and say loudly "Excuse me?! Can I help you?! Am I breaking any laws NOW?!" When everyone in the lobby turns to see what's going on, they back off and let me go inside alone. I stay inside and "shop" forever. Apparently the dream takes place in the 70's, so I bought some of those little statues with the people with the big, sad eyes that say things like "I Love You This Much" or "I Think You're Nice," as well some large ceramic plate.

The coast being clear now, I sneak over to the elevator with shopping bag in hand, and get in one of the elevators going up. There are two other people in the elevator and one of them is also trying to sneak upstairs to visit a friend. The other is a man wearing a wool trench coat and holding a box of candy and a bouquet of roses with an excess of white tissue paper flaring out from them. I press the button just as I hear one of the receptionists/nurse at the front desk yell "Stop them!" and points in the direction of our elevator. As two bumbling security guards emerge, one from the left and one from the right, and start to run towards the elevator, I frantically start pressing the button, hoping the doors will close before they can reach us. The doors close in the nick of time and we are heading for the 8th floor.

Here's where it get weird: Unable to see my sick friend, I somehow manage to escape the hospital and I'm running across what appears to be a camp ground, with individual log cabins and such, where a party is in progress. The security guards, hot on my trail, I weave in and out between the guests, some of which know me and shout concernedly "Kirk! What's wrong?!" and start rubber-necking to see who/what is pursuing me. Still carrying my shopping bag, I don't take the time to answer, but start heading towards the area where apparently there are a lot of celebrities watching a rodeo. They are sitting on benches, underneath a similar log-cabin-style awning. They are watching some guy rope cattle and are clapping excitedly. I approach from the back, out of view, but still able to see my pursuers looking around for me confusedly.

In front of me is Farrah Fawcett, who is bouncing up and down in her seat, excitedly watching the rodeo action and clapping. As I'm hunkered down, I'm just about even with her shoulder, when I tap her on hers. She turns around and sees me all sweaty and out of breath. Looking concerned, she asks me what's wrong. I explain to her about the hospital's rules about visiting patients, how I refused and how I'm now in this predicament. She's outraged and says "How dare they ask you for your credit card number?!" as she reaches out to console me, I see the guards quickly approaching and in a hushed tone say "Help me, please!" before I run off to the east, towards an empty cabin to take refuge. I hear her yell "Johnny! (Carson) Come help me!" As Johnny and the other celebrities turn away from the action, the rodeo comes to a halt.

Safely within the confines of the small cabin, I close and lock the door and put the shutters on the windows and seal them. I can see between the spaces of the logs that the guards are still looking for me. As Farrah and some others stop one of them to confront him, the other comes sniffing for me like a blood hound. I can see him peering in the spaces of the front door, squinting to make something out in the dark cabin. He tries to open the door. Seeing that it's locked he starts to violently shake it. Before he can open it, I burst through the shutter-covered window and head back towards the celebrity rodeo.

As I'm rounding the corner near where I initially talked to Farrah, I slip in the mud and am instantly surrounded by the two guards. One on my left and one on my right. There is a large rock embedded in the ground, and as I am crawling backwards to get away from them I get the idea: I take the large ceramic plate that I bought at the gift shop, out of my shopping bag. It's wrapped in tissue, so I smash it on the rock and it breaks into pieces. I pick up two large, jagged pieces and hold one in each hand. Lashing out, I start cutting each of the guards whenever they get within arms length or try to make a grab for me. The audience gasps (including Farrah) as I cut them again and again and again. Like some kind of human blender.

And that's when I wake up.

Men, Come Get Your Learn On!

A friend of mine recently sent me this hilariously truthful e-mail. Just more proof that I could SO never share a domicile with someone. I'd go insane and bludgeon them with a cordless phone encased in a dirty sock (undoubtedly left hehind by him). I honestly don't know how my parents have managed to be married for 40 years and not kill each other.
The saddest part of all is, even if these kind of classes actually did exist, men would never attend them.


Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. Sign up early and get a discount on registration!

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:


Step by step guide with slide presentation

Roundtable discussion

Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

Debate among a panel of experts.

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


Group discussion and role play

PowerPoint presentation

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

Driving simulation

Online class and role playing

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

Bring your calendar or PDA to class


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.