Thursday, June 30, 2005

Love, American Style

If you grew up in the 70's or 80's and read the comics section of your newspaper, you undoubtedly came across a Love is... cartoon. Created by Kim Casali, a New Zealand native who began making drawings for her husband-to-be in California in 1967, The Los Angeles Times picked up the drawings for publication, and "Love is..." became a syndicated cartoon in 1970. It went on to appear in newspapers in 50 countries.

Our local newspaper didn't run the cartoon, but I remember my grandmother would save me the comics and movies sections from her newspaper (the Abilene Reporter), and I would get to see them then. They were VERY 70's in their look and sentiment, and I'm sure some would argue that their appeal/message is timeless.

Which brings me to my latest self-induced project: Stalking is..., during which I came to realize the cartoons really are timeless! I only changed 2 of the original cartoon's wording and added to one. They are now OFFICIALLY timeless. Oh, and the one obvious difference: they now feature a same-sex couple, something I'm sure would have poor Kim spinning in her grave if she knew (not to mention her legion of fans, who ironically enough, I'm sure {considering the comic's demographic} are vehemently anti-gay).

Although, on some level, I do have nostalgic feelings tied to the original cartoons themselves, during the 'evolution' of the strip, the two main characters (two nude children of the opposite sex) somehow managed to spawn (sans genitalia) multiple children/relatives, thus making the majority of the new ones nauseatingly sweet. Don't believe me? Click the image in the first paragraph and see for yourself. If you're a parent and/or grandparent, they are custom-made just for you. Cynics and those with an overactive gag reflex need not apply. Instead, you can enjoy the more realistic world of Stalking is..

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Some Don't Like it Hot

You know how they say history repeats itself. With today's high expected to hit 101º, it's summer here in Texas, and let me tell you, it's too darn hot out there! And when it comes to Texas parents leaving their children to broil in a hot car in the good ol' summertime, history is repeatin' like a mofo.

Though I blogged about this last July, apparently it still bears repeating: DON'T leave your child and/or pet in the fuckin' car, regardless of how "quick" you think you're going to be! How hard is that to remember, for Pete's sake? And yet, like clockwork, every single summer, I have to see stories like this on the local news. What is it going to take to make parents get this through their head? Do we have to resort to issuing prizes for good parenting now? Would the promise of a flat panel plasma TV be enough incentive for you to do your goddamn job? What's it going to take? What? WHAT? WHAT?!

As you already know, I'm no advocate of children and/or babies. However, that's no reason not to be outraged by the rampant (and continuous) stupidity of some of the so-called parents out there. Hey, take it from someone who goes into a room, then forgets what he went there for in the first place, I know I could never cut it as a parent. BUT, just because you're not a parent doesn't mean that excuses like "I was tired" and/or "preoccupied" are gonna fly when it comes to your child's safety. I honestly don't understand why people have children if they're not prepared to care for them properly. It all reminds me of that scene from Parenthood where Keanu Reeves character says: " need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." (or mother for that matter).

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Spaghetti & Liver and Other Delicacies

I apologize for taking so long to get this one posted. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I went to the flea market in Canton, Texas. These are the items I found while I was there. To be honest, the pickins' were mighty slim, at least in the category of things that I enjoy looking at. On the plus side, these items usually fall under the inexpensive category, so that's actually a plus. It just makes them a little harder to find. I do a lot of sifting through stuff before I generally arrive at something I deem "kitsch-worthy."

[1] Wonder Ware cook booklet. Circa 1950's
I don't know the actual year that this booklet was printed, but my guess, judging from the images/clip art, would be the 1950's. Produced to compliment the brand of pots and pans in the booklet's title, the booklet has some terrifically-bad photos of food (i.e. think vegetable medley and carrots with a big pat of butter on top). A perfect example of why I collect these vintage cook booklets.

[2] Monarch Range cook booklet. © 1946
One look at the contents of this book and I HAD to buy it. With regurgitive classics (complete with photos) like Chipped Ham and Bean Plate (chipped ham and green beans served over toast with a creamy white sauce). Is your mouth watering yet? Well, it WILL be once you click on today's recipe of Spaghetti, Liver and Mushrooms. Who came up with these combos? OMG.

[3]TP&L's (Texas Power & Light Co.) Treasury of Christmas Gift & Homemaking Ideas.
The year this little booklet was published, remains a mystery. I can't really even tell by looking at it. If I had to guess, I would say late 50's, early 60's. (?) The reason I bought this is two-fold: 1) Growing up, my mom worked for TP&L and 2) I LOVED the clip art and B&W images inside. Trust me, you will be seeing more of this booklet as Christmas draws closer. It's just too good not to share!

[4/5] Zippy Goes to School by Lee Ecuyer. © 1954
Wow. Surely you can see why I had to buy this one. I don't know what it is about vintage children's books with animals dressed in human clothing, but I'm always a sucker for it (click on the example in the opening paragraph). This strange little fad also was popular with kittens and puppies. Somewhere around here I have a great little book (also a Rand McNally Book-Elf Book) that features little fluffy kittens dressed in dresses, overalls, aprons, etc. Very cute. Very strange.

Anyway, this book is also very cute. I really love all the pictures inside of 'Zippy' dressed in his band uniform, football uniform and even a crossing guard uniform. Too funny!

[6] Betty Crocker: 42 Hot Potato Ideas. Circa 1970's
Again, the pictures are what sucked me in. Well, that and the fact that I love Potato Buds. With a centerfold of full-color images of some of the dishes (Pizza Potatoes, anyone?), this was an easy choice to make.

[7] Vintage B&W photo. Circa 1940's
As I may or may not have mentioned in past posts, I collect vintage photos of men. I've accumulated quite a nice little collection over the years. I loved the signature on this one: "With all my curves, Joe" Lol!

NEW Today: The Daily Show and Stella

The Daily Show: Indecision 2004 is released to DVD today. This 3 DVD set includes 10 episodes, has more reports by Colbert (whose survey of Democratic minority groups has something to offend anyone), Corddry, Bee, and Helms. There's also John Edwards's 2003 announcement of his presidential candidacy on The Daily Show, the Schoolhouse Rock! spoof about midterm elections, a surprisingly musical four-correspondent rendition of the national anthem, and other lunacy. Be sure and get it a store near you! Here's what the folks at had to say about it:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is so laugh-out-loud funny that Indecision 2004--which could have been a dated recap of a time many would rather forget--is instead a hilarious time capsule of the follies and foibles of the 2004 presidential election. What also helps is that many of the issues being lampooned, such as the Iraq war, are still in the news in 2005. The 10 episodes included in the three-disc set are the four reporting on the Democratic National Convention, the four from the Republican National Convention, the episode following the first Bush-Kerry debate, and the hourlong election-night episode, subtitled "Prelude to a Recount."

In addition, premiering tonight on Comedy Central is the new show Stella, starring the comedic trio of Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and David Wain as three characters whose travels through everyday life are unlike anything else on television. With a perfect blend of cleverness and absurdity, Stella satirizes everyday experiences like finding an apartment, hanging out at a coffee shop, going camping and trying to meet women. What are common, normal situations for most people quickly end up in the most unexpected realms when these guys are at the helm.

Even though they're always dressed in suits, their maturity level doesn't always fit their attire. These modern day Marx Brothers spread their non-sensical comedy to everyone they meet and everywhere they go. Their sensibilities are tinged with both sarcasm and wit; the characters, and the show in general, find a way to be both smart and sophomoric.

Check local listings for time and channel. To read more about Stella and it's creators, go here.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Made-for-TV Memories

Seeing that TVLand will be presenting a week-long showcase of Made-for-TV Movies, I got a little nostalgic, remembering how much I LOVED all those made-for-TV-movies of the 70's and 80's. Made-for-TV-movies are among some of my favorite childhood memories. I especially had a fondness for the ever-popular "witch"-themed movies: The Spell (starring the always awesome Lee Grant and a prepubescent Helen Hunt), Midnight Offerings (starring Melissa Sue Anderson and Marian Ross) and Summer of Fear (starring Linda Blair and a then 21-year-old Fran Drescher). What sweet, sweet memories.

The Spell, however, was my #1 all-time favorite, though often touted by uncreative, wannabe reviewers as a Carrie rip-off. To this I say "feh." I still loved every wickedly-delicious minute of it! It told the story of pudgy outcast Rita Matchett, who unbeknownst to anyone, is secretly studying the black arts/witchcraft and who gets revenge on those classmates who taunted her...and anyone else who happens to get in her way. Little does she know she's in for a wicked showdown with whom she inherited her powers to begin with!
Midnight Offerings was the classic good teen witch vs. bad teen witch, complete with a one-on-one showdown, culminating at the high school. Gotta love that!
Summer of Fear. Based on the novel by Lois Duncan (who I considered a goddess during my "young adult" book-reading years), also wrote many of my other favorites: Killing Mr. Griffin, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Five Were Missing, Gallows Hill, Daughters of Eve (which is being made into a movie) and Down a Dark Hall. Summer of Fear tells the story of a family who takes in their cousin Julia after her parents die in a car accident. Julia extends her influence over the family and those around them, fooling all except for Rachel, her teenaged cousin who knows that there's more to Julia than meets the eye.

Though some of these great movies can be found fairly affordably-priced online, some are long out of print and can be quite expensive. However, there is a site online that sells copies of some of them in both VHS and DVD-Rs format. The site is called MTC Europa Video. Now for some of my other memorable favorites from the 70's and 80's...

Gargoyles (1972)
Buy it Now!
Home for the Holidays (1972)
Buy it Now!
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)
Buy it Now!
Bad Ronald (1974)
The Legend of Lizzie Borden (1975)
Force of Evil (1977)
Buy it Now!
Snowbeast (1977)
Buy it Now!
The Spell (1977)
Buy it Now!
It Happened At Lakewood Manor (AKA Ants!) (1977)
Buy it Now!
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (1978)
Buy it Now!
Summer of Fear (AKA Stranger in Our House) (1978)
Buy it Now!
Are You in the House Alone? (1978)
Buy it Now!
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)
Buy it Now!

And my fondest made-for-TV memory, I am saving for last. It's none other than Force of Evil (co-starring the real Jan Brady herself, Eve Plumb). The easiest way to describe this taught thriller is Cape Fear goes on vacation. The plot revolves around a murderer on parole who victimizes a family against whom he holds a grudge. OMG, I STILL associate this movie with some of my fears. Two key scenes in particular will forever be etched in my memory: 1) The scene where the wife receives a box of "flowers" while her husband is out of town on a business trip! And 2) The suspense-filled climax when the husband and wife go back out to the desert to make sure what they dropped down an old well, is still there! I won't give anything away on the off chance that you decide to buy and/or rent the video, but it's suffice to say I had clenched buttcheeks for a week! I remember watching this movie on television when it originally aired back in 1977 and it scared the crap outta me! I found it recently at a pawn shop, watched it again (to see if it still packed a punch), and let me assure you, it is STILL as suspenseful now as it was then! I strongly urge you to find a copy if you can!

Other Favorites (Not Shown)

Trilogy of Terror (1975)
Buy it Now!
Midnight Offerings (1981)
Don't Go to Sleep (1982)
Buy it Now!
The Stepford Children (1987)
I Saw What You Did (AKA I Saw What You Did... and I Know Who You Are!) (1988)
The People Across the Lake (1988)

Friday, June 24, 2005

Robot Guards to Patrol Shops and Offices

TOKYO (Reuters) - Burglars beware, robot guards are here.

In an idea straight out of science fiction, robots could soon begin patrolling Japanese offices, shopping malls and banks to keep them safe from intruders. Equipped with a camera and sensors, the "Guardrobo D1," developed by Japanese security firm Sohgo Security Services Co., is designed to patrol along pre-programed paths and keep an eye out for signs of trouble.

The 109-cm tall robot will alert human guards via radio and by sending camera footage if it detects intruders, fires, or even water leaks. Such robots are vital from a business standpoint when considering Japan's aging population.

"In the near future, it is certain that securing young and capable manpower will become even more difficult ... and the security industry will feel the full brunt of the impact," the company said in a statement.

Around one in five Japanese are now 65 or over and the proportion is expected to rise to one in three in 2040, according to government data.

Sohgo Security is negotiating with several clients, and after an initial trial run hopes to begin offering a robot-assisted security system within a year, the company said. Pricing has yet to be decided.

Keyword Klatch & Link Updates: Vol. 6

Yes, it's that time again, time to see what keywords people typed into various search engines, that inevitably brought them to my little corner of the Web. This month's favorites include:

that scene in fast times at ridgemont high when the class smells the paper
i want to see a boys weener
is my lizard retarded?
and last, but certainly not least...
does sarah jessica parker's pussy stink?

It never ceases to amaze me what people search for. More often than not it cracks me up, while confusing me at the same time (Just click on today's photo grid to see the complete list.) I have to admit I was a little creeped out by the search "blogger kirk arlington." Who knows to enter that into a search engine? Surely I'm not that prolific. Freaky. And speaking of...apparently I am the hub for any and all male celebrity circumcision knowledge. Oy vey.
Here are the current additions to my ever-growing links list. Lots of great additions this time. Check them all out when you get the chance! Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the refresh button.

Derek Yaniger
El Rey

Chris Croce
Front Pages Galleries
Gianni Scardigno
Jason Dayberry
Rodney St.Cloud

-Blog Resources-
PhotoBlogs [Belgian]

-Books & 'Zines-
The Sneeze

-Celebrity Eyecandy-
Adam Baldwin Central

Hello! Lucky

X-Rated Cartoon Gifs

Dumpling Man

-Fun 'N Games-
The Blue Chamber
The Crimson Room
The Veridian Room

-Fun Stuff-
Spell With Flickr


-Movies & Television-
Classic TV Theme Songs
The Buffy Galaxy [Italian]

The Chop Tops: Revved-up Rockabilly
Radio DavidByrne

Mystery Play Internet Radio
Weather Underground

-Politics & Propaganda-
Le Google Bomb

-Pop Culture-
Fity Five
Retro Revival

-Pulp & Kitsch-
Cliffhangers: Thrills! Suspense! Danger!
The Paragraph Novels
Serial Gif Movies [French]

ZabaSearch: FREE People Search

-Spooky Stuff-
Strange Doll Series

-Time Machine-
Retro Lounge
Unofficial BurgerTime Homepage

Bored Games

Alien Loves Predator
Annie Rambles
The Blog You Love to Hate
Death Takes a Holiday
Hulk's Diary That is on the Internet
Intellectual con Fusion
Jalapeno Burns
More Cowbell
Occasional Bitch
Postcards From Metro Suburbia
Prognosis Negative
RagDoll's Domain
Scrunty Bastard
The Smirk
Wabi My Sabi

-New Buttons-
BlogSpy (I created this button)
Blurt It!
Broom Hilda (comic strip) (I created this button)
Coke With Lime (I created this button)
Ditto (GR8 new image search engine)
IMDB (I created this button)
Knoxville (Johnny) (I created this button)
My Yahoo!

P.s. Notice I finally cracked the error in my template code (thanks to my friends over at the BlogExplosion Shout Box) to correctly align/reduce the size of the font on my links list. HURRAY! Also, I am still working on getting ALL my images transferred over to ImageShack, so if an image isn't loading on one of my past posts, please bear with me. Thanks!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


I recently had to go to Wal-Mart to get my car's oil changed. Having just 2 cars in front of me in line, I foolishly thought I would be out in record time, in lieu of my usual 2 hours. Silly me. Not only was I surrounded by top-notch, knowledgeable employees, I also got to spend 3 glorious hours within the confines of this not-so-super store. *Read this disgusting new article.)

And for those of you who may live in more rural areas and have limited choices on where you spend your income, you have my sincere condolences. My parents live in a small town (pop. 16,968) and unfortunately Wal-Mart is one of the few choices they have. But then, that's what Wal-Mart's foundation was built on: Small towns with extremely-limited choices.

Lucky for you I had my digital camera with me so that I could document my visit. So come, live vicariously through me as we take a top-secret virtual tour of the shopping experience called Wal-Mart.

[1] The dreaded rear entrance (not to be confused with the equally-dreaded front entrance) located at the automotive dept.

[2] Just ONE of the numerous roomy aisles. Simply wonderful.

[3] If you ever become disoriented and lose your grounding, just look for one of the many tell-tale signs that let you know you're at Wal-Mart: NASCAR wear.

[4] Bolts of fabric for all your bonnet-making needs.

[5] Only Wal-Mart could offer such a wide selection of redneck-inspired Father's Day cards.

[6] The one saving grace of the trip. This guy was one of the few things I could find to look at that didn't have stencils of apples, geese, ducks, kittens or the word "non-flammable" printed on it.

What a cutie-face! I just wanted to tackle him and give him kisses.

[7] Wal-Mart customers are at the forefront of the cutting edge of fashion, as this photo attests. Black socks accentuate any summer ensemble. Also look for a return of culottes, banana clips and houseshoes as a daytime look.

[8] Nice legs! Mmm beefy. ROWR!

[9] Sigh. Those juicy calves (I apologize for the grainy quality. I was pretty far away when I took this one. You can only get so close for so long before suspicion sets in). The only thing that helped me keep my mind off my surroundings, not to mention giving me something to do for the THREE hours I was stranded there.

And I wasn't the only one that had been left blowing in the wind for a ridiculous amount of time. I befriended various other disgruntled customers, or should I say former customers.

Wal-Mart: Always a pain the ass. Always.

P.s. As an added bonus, go here* to download your very own copy of the font Wal-Mart People (available in both PC and Mac formats!). It's the next best thing to being there! No need to thank me. Just enjoy.

*scroll down to the bottom of the page.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Monkeys, Rabbits and Omens

Here are some assorted items I thought you might enjoy looking at. Thanks to Vryce for giving me the heads up on the bunny.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

1 Year Blogiversary

Exactly one year ago today, I wrote my first entry here at My So-Called Strife. Before I started blogging, I kept my journals and thoughts to myself. Before the blog I had accumulated dozens of journals & diaries. Looking back through them they were pretty mundane, containing mostly astute (yet venomous/caustic/bitter) observations of people and places around me. Looking back over the blog, I realized the one big difference between the two: an audience. I still have my outlet, but now I have someone to share it with. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads, lurks, comments, links, blogrolls and/or passes through on their way to greener pastures. I couldn't have done it without you. Here's to more photos, collages, complaining, lusting, ranting, dreaming and laughing! Let's dance!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Monsters, Submarines & Monkeys

I recently went to a retrospective in nearby Fort Worth, with my friend Nathan. We were both excited to see that The Rose Marine Theater was showing an old B movie favorite called The Beach Girls and the Monster. As an added bonus, it was FREE showing! How cool is THAT? It was also really cool to see it in one of Fort Worth's oldest performance venues. The newly remodeled (2000) old Rose Marine Theater originally opened as a movie theater in the 1920's and has operated under multiple names over the years. The theater is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The movie was part of a series being hosted by The Latin Arts Association. The woman in charge was named Yvonne Duque. She's the Program Director of events at the theater and couldn't have been nicer. In the foyer, there was a tub of ice filled with soft drinks and bags of popped-while-you-wait microwave popcorn for just $1 each. It doesn't get any better than that!

Afterwards, Nathan and I went to eat lunch at The Great Outdoors, a nearby submarine sandwich eatery. We followed that up by swinging by the Cattle Barn. It was late in the afternoon, so most of the venders were closing up shop, but Nathan (who had never been before) managed to find something he liked.

[1] The outside of The Rose Marine Theater. It was a beautiful day.

[2] The movie poster for The Beach Girls and the Monster.

[3] The Beach Monster!

[4] A piece of ironwork hanging in the foyer of the theater, that I thought was really beautiful.

[5] The interior of the theater.

[6] A local artist's painting, also hanging in the foyer of the theater.

[7] Mmmmm! Nathan and I both ordered this delicious sub, called The Outdoorsman. It has turkey, pastrami, cappicola, spiced ham, salami, bologna, pepperoni and cheese. You can get it with an array of toppings. I chose bean sprouts, cucumbers, onions, lettuce, black olives and honey mustard. God, it was INCREDIBLE. The Great Outdoors has been in business since 1973, so you know they're doing SOMETHING right! Delicious!

[8] East Main Street: The historical area of Downtown Fort Worth. Check out all the motorcyles! The ultimate mid-lif crisis barometer!

[9/10] Some groovy sculpture outside an old gas station in the area. I thought it was fun.

[11] The interior of The Great Outdoors. We sat in the booth directly under the tomato.

[12] Nathan's Planet of the Apes board game. They sell threw in the Bozo the Clown game for FREE! He got both for $5!

[13] The Bozo the Clown board game. Nathan gave it to me. Whee! Lots of colorful pieces inside. Complete.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

YES! He CAN be Taught!

Hurray! I'm not as big a retard as I though! Look what I made! I just learned how to make animated gif files! I know they're pretty basic, but I've always wanted to know how to make them, so I'm pretty excited. Mucho thanks to Michael over Popbytes. Thanks so much!

P.s. I promise not to get bananas with the gifs on the blog.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Color in Your Life

[1] I saw this lizard while I was on my way to the backyard. I was fortunate enough that he understood english, 'cause I told him to "Freeze! Dont' move a muscle!," then ran inside, got my camera, came back, and he was exactly where I left him. Good lizard! He insisted I hum Supermodel while I took pictures, but I vehemently refused.

[2] The window at one of my favorite seafood restaurants here in Arlington. AWFUL crabcakes (they had horseradish in 'em! BLECH!), but the shrimp and hushpuppies are to DIE for!

[3] There's always room for Jell-O at the Chinese buffet!

[4] A great display at the nearby hardware store. Couldn't resist taking a picture of it!

[5] A "spur of the moment" photo idea. My dining room table, looking quite photogenic. The flower is from my yard. Those are gummi bears in the small bowl.

[6] Word of advice: Never smell a candle that has been put on clearance. P U! Blech! This basket at the hardware store was brimming with clearance candles. They all smelled like yuck.

[7] Some flowers at the KFC drive thru.

[8] I found this really beautiful for some reason. I passed it on the sidewalk, while on the way to my car after shopping at the hardware store.

[9] Another image that caught my eye. This time at the grocery store parking lot. I love taking pictures of found objects/compositions.

[10] Out with the old and in with the new. The old Flintstone's car was recently replaced with this brightly-colored jetski at the nearby Kroger.

[11] Mmmmm! Ice cream sammich!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

So NOT Crackalackin'

This could easily be the follow up to my previous post entitled Whitebread Gangstas. However, a follow-up would suggest that there was some progress made, so in the interest of "keepin' it real," this is not a follow-up as much as part 2 of more bitching.

While browsing over at, I came across these various photos. They were SO ridiculous, I thought I'd share them here with you. Again, I'm still baffled as to why Gen (wh)Y/Gen ADD has such an infatuation with weapons. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe it's an extension of their dick. I dunno. Whatever it is, it's retarded (see the fucktard in the blue hoodie for evidence of this). I guess being perceived as a "badass" is "cool." I hate to break this to them, but the cemetery and penal systems are overflowing with cool people with brilliant futures ahead of them. Not. If you get killed, it's like, Game Over, dude. This ain't the set of Bones, bruh.

Whatever their motivation, it's retarded. I especially love how everyone thinks they're Scarface or a Goodfella. I'd love to see what would happen if the weapon(s) were taken away and they were left to their own devices. I envision some serious bladder control issues. Maybe these morons will do us all a favor and busta cap in each other's ass. Or better yet, get something broken off in theirs, once they hit prison. Peace out.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Blog Update

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I gave the ol' sidebar a complete overhaul yesterday (to the tune of 3 1/2 hours). Why?, you may ask. Because my current image host is run by a buncha retards. That's why. So, now I am in the process of relocating allll my blog images to another host. The irony is that I am moving them to the original host I was using when I first started blogging. I, for some insane reason, thought that I would have a little more peace of mind if my images were hosted by a service that I paid for, and therefore were technically more 'permanant.' Apparently not. Thus, my return to my original image host: ImageShack.

So, please be patient while I transfer all my images over to my new image host. I realize that most of the images hosted at my old image host are working NOW, but I don't care. I'm fed up with the continuous lack of service, not to mention the ongoing "exceeded bandwidth" horseshit that Picgoo manages to do each and every month. They don't answer my questions. They don't explain the continual outages. Good riddance.

I considered an image host by the name of box, but my e-mail to them, asking if they provide an actual URL, so that I can use the images not only in personal online albums, but also to host images on my blog, apparently blew someone's mind. They basically replied with a generic answer, regurgitating the information already found on their site. So, this lead me to just say 'fuck it' and move all my images to ImageShack.

So, now that you know the game plan, here are a few dilemmas that I am having, maybe you can point me in the right direction:

A) One of ImageShack's terms of service is not to upload any nudity. Since I have maybe 2 or 3 posts (to date) that contain accompanying images of nudity, I don't know what to do with those posts' images.

B) I really wish I could figure out how to align the 'Links' image with the rest of the buttons above it. I've tried every HTML thing I know of, but I fear my blog template is written in CSS, which me no understand.

C) Do you prefer the images to have borders or not? I started out with borders on my images (*see my earlier posts), but then grew weary of them over time. NOW I read on a blog template page that borders make things "pop" and are pwetty. Which do you prefer? I can go either way with this one.

I keep thinking I'm forgetting something, but I dunno what it was that I wanted to ask. Oh well, if I remember I'll just add it later. Thanks for your help!

Deep Throat Spawns Dreamboat

As I'm sure you're all aware by now, Deep Throat's (AKA Mark Felt) identity was revealed last week. What you may not know is what a babe his grandson, Nick Jones is (hey, that's what I'm here for). Twenty-three year old Nick was the one who delivered a statement to the press on his grandfather's behalf. I promised myself I would refrain from making any Deep Throat-related jibes., in correlation to Nick's hunkocity. Damn me and my willpower! *Sorry about the recycling of the one image, but I ran out of new images and needed to fill the space.

Retro Summer Fun With Dennis the Menace

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

In Local News...

This news story aired this last week on our local FOX 4 News. Since I can find absolutely nothing referring to it on the Internet, here's what I deemed from the news : MIAMI, FL.- Emily Sones witnessed a couple dropping kittens out of their SUV, while on Miami's 95 Northbound freeway. Every couple of yards, the passenger in the SUV would drop a kitten, three in total. Emily called 911 on her cellphone and followed the stupid motherfuckers to their destination. Ironically enough, they were going to church to attend a funeral. Police officers escorted them from the church in handcuffs.

The couple may face a felony abuse charge, which could lead to a year in jail and a fine of $10,000.

Whether or not you like cats/animals, this is fuckin' ridiculous! Those people need to be kicked in the face with a steel-toe boot. Ignorant assholes.

Also, in local news, Texas governor, Rick Perry (ech, just the mention of his name makes my sphincter pucker) recently (deliberately) chose the Calvary Christian Academy (a private Christian school in nearby Fort Worth) to sign an anti-abortion bill into law. Hundreds of angry protestors showed up to show their disgust for this blatant disregard for the separation of church and state. Perry (shown) was quoted as saying: "If we'd been in a Wal-Mart parkin' lot they'd STILL be gripin' about it." Then, why didn't you sign the bill IN A WAL-MART PARKIN' LOT, you smug cocksucker? In addition to the anti-abortion bill, he signed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages that has yet to go to the voters (on ballot in November).

God, he really steams my dumplings! My mother grew up with him in Podunkville, and actually hung around with the same people he did. She's told me some interesting stories about him and his hillbilly parents. They're all (Perry and his family) just one chromosome away from carnie folk. Seriously. Ech. Good riddance.

P.s. Check out the cockstain behind Perry, laughing on cue at his Wal-Mart remark. Pull her string and watch the monkey dance. Dance, monkey, dance! Go back to Ci Ci's Pizza buffet, you drone.

Court Says Gay Man Can Drive

ROME (Reuters) A Sicilian court condemned road authorities Monday for suspending the driving license of a man after finding out he was gay. The court on the Mediterranean island said being gay was merely "a personality disturbance" which had no bearing on a person's ability to drive, Ansa news agency reported.

The 23-year-old man, who was identified as Danilo G., got into trouble with the road license authorities in the city of Catania after they discovered he had been exempted from military service because he was gay. The authorities suspended his driving license ahead of further checks on his "suitability" to take the wheel.

The man's lawyer, Giuseppe Lipera, denounced the move as "utterly scandalous and offensive" and has demanded 500,000 euros ($613,500) in damages. "Danilo ... is deeply perturbed by what has happened. He has lost his hair and is suffering shock," Lipera was quoted as saying by Ansa.

In a written ruling released Monday, the Sicilian court said: "It is clear that sexual preferences do not in any way influence a person's ability to drive motor cars safely." The judges added that homosexuality "cannot be considered a true and proper psychiatric illness, being a mere personality disturbance."

Homosexuality is legal in Italy, but openly anti-gay comments from politicians and officials rarely cause a stir.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Michael Jackson: Acquitted

According to CNN, Michael Jackson has just been found not guilty on all 10 counts. Details, courtesy of MSNBC:
Michael Jackson was found not guilty Monday on all counts in his trial on child molestation charges, concluding a two-year legal saga for one of the world's most well-known pop stars.

The courtroom sat silently as Judge Rodney Melville opened the jury envelopes one by one and silently read the verdict forms to himself before allowing the court clerk to read the verdict out loud. Lead defense attorney Tom Mesereau Jr. patted Jackson on the shoulder after the verdict was read.

Outside the courthouse, fans shouted and wept with joy over Jackson's acquittal.

Jackson, 46, was indicted on 10 counts for allegedly molesting a then-13-year-old cancer patient, serving him wine and then conspiring to hold him and his family captive. The charges against him included four allegations of molestation, one of attempted molestation, four of serving alcohol to a minor and one for conspiracy.

What I'm Listening to: Vol. VI

This time around I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss a few of the standouts in this installment of "What I'm Listening To." I, like most people who enjoy various genres of music, enjoy different types of music at different times. There are times when I want something dark, Industrial, yet danceable (i.e. Chemlab). Then there are times when I want something down tempo, smooth and groovy. I used to refer to this music as Ambient, Trance or Electronica, but with the bajillion cross sections/subcategories of music, I have no idea WHAT some of the music I enjoy listening to is considered. It's mind-boggling. I think the confusion began in the mid 90's, when Techno (still a favorite) spun off into Garage, Breakbeat, Tribal, House, Hi-NRG, and the list goes on and on.

If I felt I could trust the people at the CD places that I shop, to put things in the right categories, maybe I'd feel a little more confident about what genre I am listening to. Unfortunately, the categories at most places are strictly limited to Rock, R&B, Dance, Soundtracks, Religious, Jazz and Country. So when I go places like Virgin Records Megastore in Dallas (where, BTW, if I write down the names of stuff that looks interesting, come home and look them up on, I can get them for WAY less money..even WITH shipping), my mind goes completely blank when I lay witness to their 2,347 genres of music. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but still, it's overwhelming.

So, the whole reason I started writing this in the first place, was to make you aware of some REALLY good down tempo CDs that I have bought recently that I really enjoy: Verve Remixed 3 (original Jazz artist's lyrics put to contemporary new beats. I still contend that vol. 1 was THE best. Both vol. 2&3 have their moments, too), Jazz Chillout (a 2 CD set), King Koopa (lyric-less down tempo music with a contemporary, groovy beat, though some tracks are definitely up tempo/dance...EXCELLENT CD!) and Koop and Kaskade (Electronica meets Lounge. GREAT chillout CD. Every song is great. Recommend!). So, if you're looking for something soothing to listen to, with a contemporary edge, you might want to check these out.

Here are my latest CD purchases.
• Verve Remixed 3 Hotel
• David Bowie: Little Wonder [Maxi-single]
• Betty Boo: Where Are You, Baby [Maxi-single]
The Original 80's Album
• Nat King Cole: The World of Nat King Cole
Jazz Chillout
• Erasure: ABBAesque
• Chemlab: East Side Militia
• King Kooba: Enter the Throne Room
• Drew's Famous: Fang-Tastic Grooves
• Koop: Waltz for Koop: Alternative Takes
• Kaskade: In the Moment

Saturday, June 11, 2005

A Visit From My Parents: The CliffsNotes Edition

• Yes, the air conditioner does eventually shut off.
• No, it doesn't run all day.
• Yes, I do need to mow the back yard.
• Yes, I know I need to pull those weeds.
• Yes, I do need to rake and bag those leaves.
• Yes, that does need painting.
• No, I didn't hear the phone ring.
• No, I haven't cleaned out the garage yet.
• No, I haven't made a dental appointment yet.
• No, I haven't lost any weight.
• No, that's not new.
• No, these shoes aren't new. I've had them for 8 years.
• Yes, I've been checking the oil and water levels on the car.
• Yes, the air conditioning does work well.
• Yes, I know this is a school zone.
• Yes, I see that car.
• No, I'm not going to hit it.
• Yes, I can turn it (A/C) down so your eyes don't dry out.
• Yes, it is hot.
• Yes, I can turn up the air conditioner.
• No, I don't like tomatoes/onions/watermelon/ketchup. I never have.
• No, you didn't tell me ________ died.
• Yes, you told me he/she had Cancer.
• Yes, you told me someone asked about me, but you couldn't remember who...but you told me anyway.
• Yes, you told me about your doctor appointment(s).
• Yes, I've been brushing my teeth.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Mental Goulash 8

[1] Anyone with access to the Internet should be familiar with those little ads, masquerading as fun 'games' that you can play where you shoot a duck, punch a boxer or blind a homeless person with a shiv...okay, okay, I made that last one up, but you get the general idea.

Well, I find most of them pretty boring and run of the mill, but this one I thought was really cute. That lil' froggy needs a hug! Too cute!

[2] YOKOHAMA, Japan- SolidAlliance Corp. Manager of Sales & Marketing Division Miwa Yoshida show the firm's newest product GhostRadar. The portable GhostRadar beeps and flashes red lights in response to unusual magnetic waves. The devise is recommended for spooky late nights alone at your computer, and for those curious about finding out if their sudden chills represent a supernatural visitor.

[3] If Bela Lugosi and Avril Lavigne had a lovechild...

Actually, this is 'Kintana,' the first captive bred aye-aye, an aboreal nocturnal lemur, Daubentonia madagascariensis, a native to Madagascar, to be born in the United Kingdom.

[4] Meet Absolut vodka's latest flavor: Apeach. Mmmm! I'm on my way to the liquor store now! Epilogue: I checked. It's $25 a bottle. I'll wait.

[5] I ran across this cookbook while rummaging for images online. Since I collect cheese-tastic vintage cookbooks, I MUST own this.

[6] My newest delicious discovery: Quaker Oh's cereal. Mmmm!

[7] NEW YORK- Hasbro, Inc.'s Playskool division is launching a new Mr. Potato Head figure, Darth Tater. Avialable in store nationwide, kids will be able to have all kinds of mix 'n match Mr. Potato Head fun with this wacky spud dressed as the infamous Star Wars saga villain, Darth Vader.

[8] Paul Anka has a new album coming out called Rock Swings, released on the Verve Records label. Paul puts his own spin on covers of various popular 80's and 90's songs, some of which include: Blackhole Sun (Soundgarden), It’s a Sin (Pet Shop Boys), Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana), Eyes Without a Face (Billy Idol), Lovecats (The Cure) and many, many more! Look for it on shelves NOW!

[9] An artist's rendering of what newlyweds Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney's child might look like.

OKay, okay, I'm lying. This is really a Philippine Tarsier that dwells on Bohol Island in the Philippines. The endangered animal, who feeds on tiny insects is believed to be the world's smallest primate.

[10] Hurray! I got a new DVD player! It's so damn thin, it's frightening. Viva la Toshiba!

[11] Wow. "Dr." Phil sure has let himself go. Okay, I'm lying. The pictures on the right are of California District Representative Henry Waxman. Still, I contend they could've been separated at birth.

[12] Andrew Fischer of Omaha, Neb., wearing the logo for the snoring remedy, SnoreStop, on his forehead . Fischer auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising space. SnoreStop topped the bidding by offering $37, 375 on eBay.

[13] I am SO buying one of these. Living in Texas, the electric bills can sometimes get nutty in the summertime. This device can save you up to 30% on your A/C bill each month! I originally saw this ad on television late one night, but you can visit them here, at Cool-n-Save. I think the science behind it is very smart. Can't wait to get mine!

[14] This is probably old news to a lot of you, but I ran across this online and thought it was kinda fun. Darth tells you to think of something, concentrate on it, and through a series of questions he will read your mind and tell you what you were thinking of. My item was a book...and he got it right! May The Force be with you.

[15] Dubya's been rode hard and put up wet. Actually, I created this rugged devil over at Build a Better Bush. Go. Play.

[16] Jesus Christ, how I HATE this retard! Some of you that don't have access to a Six Flags, and for that be thankful. Otherwise, you would be bombarded with commercials with this "wild 'n crazy" motherfucker dancin' around like someone hooked his nuts up to electrodes. Hate, hate, hate him! Dave has Subway's Jared. I have this spaz from Six Flags.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I Want it Now!

Recently, I have had 2 people mention that my blog takes too long to load, so I tried loading the page and it took 25 seconds to completely load.

I'm wondering if the addition of the fanlisting buttons have slowed down the load time, considerably. If they have, I'll simply get rid of them. However, I don't wanna do a bunch of extra shit, like create a special page for them, drive to Tampa or rearrange my genetic structure, so let me know if you have been experiencing problems in load time. Not to sound hateful, but I'm strictly just concerned about page load time, so this does not apply to Mariana's recent problem loading some images completely, monitor size or for those people that are accessing my page via dial-up. Your input is appreciated, because I really do want to know, because I don't want accessing my blog to become a grueling task. Thanks in advance!

*P.s. The Mister Bitterworth button has officially been retired. (sorry, Mariana :(

Art Archive II: BAD Early Work

According to comments left on my blog posted last Thursday, some of you stated that you would be interested in seeing my admittedly-bad early collage work. Primarily an assignment from my bookmaking class.

I know that initially I didn't have any qualms about displaying them here, but I must admit that while I was scanning them, I felt really uncomfortable and embarrassed. More embarrassed than uncomfortable, actually. I guess it's because at some point these were personal and valid, but mostly because they are achingly bad. Trust me, this is not false modesty. I know they are bad and overt and obvious and over the top-cheesy and... I could go on. I intentionally sized them where the words aren't really that legible. They're just a bunch of words and quotes that I found through various sources, that I deemed "appropriate" at the time.

Anyway, enough rambling. Here they are. (The 'pages' go from L to R)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Actress Anne Bancroft Dies

One of my all-time favorite actresses passed away on Monday, May 6th: Anne Bancroft. I didn't find out until last night, so that is why I did not blog about it sooner. This news shocked and saddened me, as I had no idea her health had deteriorated so much. She was probably best known for her role as Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, but my favorite movies of her's were not necessarily so prolific. Among my favorites were: Garbo Talks, 'night, Mother, Torch Song Trilogy and Home for the Holidays. Ironically enough, come to think of it, each one will make you cry, all for different reasons, which I find appropriate sincee that's how I feel right now, writing this. I guess that sounds kind of strange, considering I never actually met her or knew her personally, but I really, really liked her. Her movies brought me a lot of good memories. Rest in peace, Anne.

Here is the write-up, courtesy of

Actress Anne Bancroft, who won an Oscar for The Miracle Worker and a place in pop culture history as the seductive Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, died Monday of cancer; she was 73. The wife of comedian Mel Brooks, Bancroft died in New York at Mt. Sinai Hospital. One of the most popular actresses of the '60s, Bancroft's career started off dubiously in the '50s with a number of B movies for 20th Century Fox such as Gorilla at Large and Demetrius and the Gladiators. The studio also renamed the young actress, who was born Anna Maria Louise Italiano and originally went by Anne Marno; given a list of names, she chose the dignified Bancroft. However, fulfilling roles for the versatile TV and movie actress didn't follow, and Bancroft left both big and small screens for Broadway in the late 50s, winning two Tonys, for Two for the Seesaw and The Miracle Worker. When Hollywood came calling to adapt both films, Bancroft lost the role in the former to Shirley MacLaine. However, when studio heads wanted a more glamorous actress for the role of Annie Sullivan in The Miracle Worker, director Arthur Penn put his foot down and refused to budge. Then faced with a minimal budget, Penn created a gripping black-and-white film which won Oscars in 1962 for both Bancroft and co-star Patty Duke (as Helen Keller).

That role was followed by another Oscar-nominated performance in The Pumpkin Eater and the acclaimed The Slender Thread and 7 Women. In 1967, however, Bancroft did a total 180 from her saintly persona as Annie Sullivan and donned leopard-skin lingerie for her role as the wily Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, which nabbed her another Oscar nomination and permanent enshrinement in film history. By then, she had seduced not just Dustin Hoffman but the filmgoing public as well, and for the rest of her career she was pretty much able to call her own shots. She worked almost non-stop through the '70s and '80s in both comedic and dramatic films, including The Turning Point (another Oscar nomination), The Elephant Man, To Be or Not To Be (directed by her husband), Agnes of God (her last Oscar nomination), 84 Charing Cross Road, and Torch Song Trilogy. In the '90s Bancroft took a number of character roles, most notably as a mysterious old con woman in Malice, a menacing senator in G.I. Jane, a comedic matriarch in Home For the Holidays, an elegant trainer of a young assassin in Point of No Return, and an updated Mrs. Havisham in Great Expectations; she most recently appeared in The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, for which she received an Emmy nomination. Bancroft is survived by her husband, actor Mel Brooks, whom she married in 1964, and their son, Max.

Reunited and it Feels so Good

NEW YORK (AP) Don't you forget about "The Breakfast Club." At the 2005 MTV Movie Awards, to air June 9, the network plans to reunite the cast of the classic '80s movie, the cable channel said Friday.

Though Emilio Estevez, who played Andrew Clark, isn't confirmed, in attendance will be Molly Ringwald (Claire Standish), Ally Sheedy (Allison Reynolds), Anthony Michael Hall (Brian Johnson) and Judd Nelson (John Bender).

The 1985 film was directed by John Hughes, who had a string of hit films starring young people during the decade, among them "Sixteen Candles,""Weird Science,""Pretty in Pink" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Yellowcard will perform the film's theme song, "Don't You Forget About Me," from the 1985 film. The song was originally recorded by Simple Minds.

*P.s. According to my sources, Emilio was a no-show.
Thanks goes out to Terri for giving me the heads up on this one! Thanks Terri! :)

The Inside Premieres Tonight on FOX + ....

Tonight is the premiere of a new series on FOX, called The Inside. I've been anxiously awaiting this show for some time. Here's a brief synopsis, courtesy of TV Tome: With very little field experience, rookie F.B.I. Agent Rebecca Locke will become part of a sinister and unsavory world when she is recruited to join the Bureau's Los Angeles Violent Crimes Unit as a new profiler. A special division headed by Supervisory Special Agent Virgil "Web" Webster that is devoted to investigating the darkest and most heinous crimes committed by human beings.

Unbeknownst to Rebecca, her traumatic past that she has struggled to bury and keep hidden from others is the sole reason why Web has recruited her. That what had tormented Rebecca so long ago will give her a unique insight and place her in a specific mindset to help her tackle these cases. This is also the case with her new colleagues as Web knows each of their past histories and secrets. It remains unclear the lengths that he is willing to go with his agents in order to successfully solve a crime.

Trust me, it LOOKS a lot better than it sounds. The show has a great look to it. Let's hope it's as good as it looks. I already know Adam Baldwin (AKA Special Agent Danny Love) is lookin' good. He always is. ROWR!

I'm also anxiously awaiting another show, also on the FOX channel: Prison Break. It stars two of my favorite slabs-o-eyecandy: Dominic Purcell (OMG that man is H-O-T!) and relative newcomer Wentworth Miller. The show's premise is as follows:

Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) is a desperate man in a desperate situation. His brother, Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell), is on death row and scheduled to die in a few months for a murder Michael is convinced Lincoln did not commit. With no other options and time winding down, Michael holds up a bank to get himself incarcerated alongside his brother in Fox River State Penitentiary. Once he's inside, we learn that Michael – a structural engineer with the blueprints for the prison – has hatched an elaborate plan to break Lincoln out and prove his innocence.

Senior correctional officer Bellick offers some prison wisdom as Michael arrives. Then, with the help of his cellmate, Sucre (Amaury Nolasco, Mr. 3000), Michael begins to align himself with a disparate group of prisoners, including former mob boss John Abruzzi and Charles Westmoreland, a man some believe to be the infamous skyjacker D.B. Cooper. On the outside Michael has only one ally, his defense attorney and longtime friend, Veronica Donovan (Robin Tunney) – who is Lincoln's former girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Lincoln's 15-year-old son, LJ, is now adrift without his Uncle Michael's positive influence. Rounding out the cast are Sarah Wayne Callies as prison doctor Sara Tancredi, whom Michael ends up visiting more often than he should, and Stacy Keach as the powerful Warden Pope, who forges a close, almost father-son relationship with the new convict. This intriguing new series promises to reveal additional pieces of the puzzle each week as Michael carries out his daring plan to mastermind the ultimate Prison Break – and solve the far-reaching national-scale conspiracy that landed him there in the first place.

Prison Break is slated for a September 2005 premiere.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

American Dad

Let me preface this by saying I know that some people who like/love Family Guy, are not fans of American Dad!, for whatever reason (unoriginal, not funny, too political, etc.). Regardless, I like the show. I don't necessarily think it is as good as Family Guy, nor do I find all the characters necessary *cough*the fish*cough*, but I do still find a lot of the humor and pop culture references hysterical. With that said, this past Sunday, a new episode of American Dad! aired, and it had me cracking up, so I felt compelled to share some highlights in particular, that made me laugh outloud. Keep in mind that the show is made by the same people who brought us Family Guy, so the humor is definitely not "PC," which only makes me love it more.

I'll set up the first scene: Roger the Alien has gone into a stress-induced coma. Assuming he is dead, the father discards the corpse at the dump. His wife (Francine), a devout Christian stricken with grief, goes to church accompanied by her teenage daughter, Hayley. Francine wants to talk with her pastor about saying a prayer for their "pet" Roger. According to him, pets do not go to Heaven. To which a disheartened Francine responds:

"Wait a second. Roger was good. What kind of God wouldn't allow him into Heaven?"
Pastor: "This guy" (points to a God-themed beefcake-style desk calendar)
Hayley: "That's your idea of God?"
Pastor: (chortling) "Hey, he'd kick your ass!"

So, later on during the episode, after waking up from his coma and finding himself at the dump, Roger quickly disguises himself as an old lady from the remnants he finds around him. On his way to a payphone to call home, he gets mistaken for part of a rest home's field trip and is quickly escorted back on the bus, where he befriends a seemingly nice old lady, who after spending some time with her, he finds out is actually a mean-spirited old bigot.

Next we see him on a payphone at the Smithsonian, talking to Hayley:

Hayley: "Oh my God! You're really alive?!"
Roger: "Yes, and I've somehow acquired a nasty old racist sidekick. I'm at the Smithsonian. You gotta come get me!"
Old Lady: "There you are! You send me to go get you a churro and then you disappear! Anyway, here's your filthy wetback donut!"

And that is when I lost it. Funny, funny shit! American Dad! airs Sunday nights at 8:30PM on Fox. Episodes also repeat on Adult Swim. Check local listings for times and channels.

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