I Need Some TUMS®

Oy, where do I begin? There are just too many ulcer-inducing news stories to choose from lately I'm having a hard time choosing which one to rant about first.

I think the one that still baffles me is the 29 year-old man in Arizona who successfully enrolled in a charter school as a 12 year-old. Not only did he enroll, he was there for TWO years before being detected. TWO YEARS. Apparently this was his FOURTH school he ran this scam on. It goes without saying that this guy is a convicted pedophile with a prison record (he served 7 years in an Oklahoma jail for making advances to a pair of 6 year-old boys...6. WTF is WRONG with people?!).

Granted the whole pedophilia aspect is reprehensible, my big question is what flaming retard enrolled this asshole in school? I haven't been able to find any specifics, but wouldn't an alleged 12 year-old be in like 6th or 7th grade? And don't even get me started on the defense that he "shaved off his body hair and wore makeup to conceal his STUBBLE." What, were the school administrators checking for pubes when he enrolled just to make sure or what? What-the-fuck difference does ANY of that make?! He's got fuckin' crow's feet and hands like Bigfoot. Are you kidding me?! Whoever (re: whatever school employee) enrolled him in school should be exposed to the world for the moron that they are, ridiculed, then FIRED. Insane! I'm still shaking my head. Just when you think you've heard it all. Jesus.

Epilogue: Even more of the story is coming out now. Click here to read the latest.

TUMS®