The Year's First Must-Read
I honestly don't really get into most tabloid magazines like The Enquirer and Star Magazine, though I admit to having bought them on occasion in the past. However, I freakin' love incredibly awful tabloids like Weekly World News. I don't see it very often (mostly due to the fact that they seem to sell out too quickly), but I recently saw one in the magazine section of one of my favorite places, Walgreen's, that I had to buy. After flipping through it, I REALLY had to buy it. God, it's soooo horribly delicious! How could I resist with articles entitled:
- Pilgrims of Poop
- The Bigfoot Diet!
- Krakens Corner Hotel Guests
Not to mention a regular advice column called Horse Sense by Lester the Typing Horse.
However, I have to admit that my favorite is The Bigfoot Diet article. Permit me to share some of my favorite excerpts with you:
• "This was not the slender, muscular Bigfoot I'd seen in photos...his gut was enormous!"
• "After limbering up, Bigfoot really got to work. He did a series of roundhouse kicks that culminated in him felling a mangrove with a mighty blow."
• "Then Bigfoot took a well-deserved snack break. I thought he'd head to the nearest chicken coop but instead he nibbled on a handful of healthy, low-calorie swamp berries. After that, he plucked a minty green leaf from the shore, chewing it like chaw. The leaf must have been an appetite supressant because I didn't see Bigfoot eat again."
So, run, don't walk to your nearest Walgreen's and pick up your very own issue. The best $2.99 you'll spend all year.