Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Auld Lang Syne

I know some of you will find this hard to believe, but I sometimes have a hard time letting things go. No, really, it's true. I mention this fact because yesterday as I was reading the newspaper, there was an article (naturally) on how to resolve issues for the New Year. You know, one of those articles that thinks it's being crafty by not referring to them as "resolutions" but as "life lessons."

Anyhoo, it suggested getting a spiral notebook and shredder and starting a journal where you'd write letters to and/or document when people or situations got you upset, then shredding those letters. The basic idea was to get them out of your mind, onto something tangible, while getting the whole situation out of your system so that you can move on and stop dwelling on the negative. I have to admit I like the concept, but I'm curious to see if it will work for me. I may or may not share one or more of the "letters" I'd write to someone who has either driven me to the brink of homicidal tendencies and/or love. Yes, I'm just that hot and cold. The things that stick with me are either love or hate, I'm just that basic.

Sooo, as luck would have it, I actually had a dream last night about one of the people to whom I'd like to pen a letter to. It was this cuntastic old relic I used to work with when I ever-so-briefly worked at the local university. We'll call her 'Rodan' for blogging purposes. Rodan was a 70-something, who had deluded herself that she was not only 40-something, but also of English ancestry. She was forever working her esteemed "heritage" into conversations, nonchalantly (she thought) and acting all fabulous because she married someone who actually worked for a living and had managed to buy them a house in a froufrou part of town. Well, froufrou to her. Trust me, I've known some rich people in my life and she wasn't one of them. She was one of those types that seems to be plentiful here in Texas, who thinks if they overpay for some cookie cutter home, where they get to pick the amenities for over $250,000 in some "community" that has a name like "Willow Bend" and fills it with overpriced googogs from pretentious stores, that they are the American Dream and all should envy them. In reality, the end up with foundation problems, mind-numbing debt (to which they would never admit to, of course. That's just not fabulous) and a large vibrator collection. Sorry folks, I don't care how much money you think you have, there are some things money can't buy. Talent and taste are two of those things.

But I digress. My dream involved myself and some other "high brow" employees who were at some foofoo product testing scenario/dinner party, testing the quality of dining ware, primarily plates. I was there to do my job and possibly have a little fun in the process. She was there to "shine" and network with the dinner guests. The problem: They saw through her like the fake she was and were engaging me in more conversation. Naturally, this was pissing her off and she was making every effort to undermine me, but to no avail. As hard as she tried, her efforts went undaunted, as she was unable to rattle me and eventually ended up embarrassing herself (she broke a plate in a very disruptive manner).

I bet you're probably thinking to yourself: "This post is about New Year's resolutions...or dream interpretation." Nope! I fooled ya! It's about a paper shredder/pencil sharpener. Yes, as obtuse as that sounds, this whole post initially stemmed from the photo that accompanied the aforementioned article in the newspaper. It was a little manual, translucent paper shredder/pencil sharpener shaped like an elephant. My friends have been trying to get me to invest in a paper shredder for the longest time (paranoids), but so far I haven't been sold on them. Until now. Initially, my head was turned for this cute little novelty paper shredder...that is until I saw the orange HIPPO! *gasp!* Now I must own one, but I've been unable to find one anywhere online, other than KarmaKiss.com (and yes, naturally, I tried eBay). Oh well, I guess if push comes to shove, I can place a backorder, THEN maybe I can try out the whole therapeutic letter writing/shredding scenario. Stay tuned.

*Auld Lang Syne


Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Hey, my "spiral notebook" IS my blog. I find blogging to be quite cathartic. No need for me to shred. It's out there in the cosmos, that's good enough for me.

So are you going to collect shredders now? :)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007 10:14:00 PM  

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