Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Vampires, Llamas & Plastic Surgery...

Normally, I not that big of a TV watcher. By that I mean, there's rarely a TV show that I watch on a regular basis (besides The Daily Show & Nip/Tuck). Not since Twin Peaks or American Gothic have I consistently kept up with a television show. I usually just watch movies on DVD or VHS. However, lately I have discovered (and rediscovered) some new and old favorites.

For example, I now get up every morning at 6, to watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer. When news of the show first started circulating, I remember joking with friends at the time about how/why in the world were they gonna make a series based on a movie that tanked to begin with? Then the show began, and I was hooked...initially. LOVED the first season: Sexy Xander (Nicholas Brendon..who has an identical twin brother, BTW...ROWR-rowr!), bookworm Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and of course, vampires! LOVED the second season (Hello Spike! ROWR!). Season 3, still diggin' it...then came Season 4 with its' bullshit underground military lair storyline. So not interested. Bye bye, sleepy now. So, anyway, the FX channel started showing back-to-back episodes at 6AM, so I started watching, initially due to insomnia. As it turned out, I got in on the beginning of the end, season 7. Thus my rekindled love affair with Buffy. Now I gotta catch up with Season 5 & 6.

So, besides Buffy, I have some NEW favorites, one of which I mentioned in my first post: Good Girls Don't... It's my most recent "can't miss" show. The show airs on the Oxygen channel and was created by the people who brought us That 70's Show (another favorite of mine). I love the whole cast from GGD and the situations they find themselves in. Joy Gohring and Kevin Christy are just about the sexiest, funniest (even more important than sexy) things on TV.

Since I've been watching GGD, I've started to pay more attention to some of Oxygen's other shows: Show Me Yours, Bliss and Talk Sex/The Sunday Night Sex Show. I initially shied away from Show Me Yours, because I assumed it would be a poor man's Red Shoe Diaries and because one of the main actors kinda gives me the creeps: Adam Harrington (he plays co-author Benjamin Chase Ph.D). I'd seen him before in the 80's homage slasher Valentine. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy and all, but he reminds me of a llama with a rigorous skin care regime. I dunno why. So anyway, if you can get past that visual, the show is actually pretty well done. The synopsis (via the website) is as follows: Sexual tension fuels this steamy, romantic comedy, about a woman researching a book on sexual practices and the two men in her life: one, her often-difficult boyfriend, and the other, her increasingly irresistible co-author. I think that's one temptation I could resist.

Bliss is another show that I'm slowly warming up to. The format is relatively simple: A different erotic story each week, from a woman's perspective. I say "women's perspective" because all the stories have been adapted by women screenwriters and directors. To be honest, I don't get that turned on by the Zalman King-style "erotica," but the stories and characters make up for that. But hey, that's just me. Maybe if I was a straight man, it'd have more impact, it's just fun to watch.

And the last show from Oxygen, that I have fallen in love with, is Talk Sex and The Sunday Night Sex Show, both hosted by renowned sex educator Sue Johanson. I enjoy our local talk radio station as well as the online station Mystery Play Internet Radio (they play all those old Mystery and Thriller radio programs from the 40's and 50's), so Sue's show was a natural for me.
Since the show topic(s) are pretty much dictated by the callers, you never know where the subject matter is gonna go next. Much more interesting to me than the insipid Gen Y version: Loveline. Sue's show has more diversity and substance.

And while we're on the subject of television shows, lots of them are being released to DVD lately: Punky Brewster, Dukes of Hazzard, Wonder Woman, and even Nip/Tuck. HOWEVER, there are plenty of shows that HAVEN'T been released to DVD, that I, personally, would LOVE to see. Such as: Square Pegs, Facts of Life, American Gothic, Duckman and John Doe, just to name a few. I was excited to find out that the following shows are heading to DVD this year: ALF: Season 1- Aug. 10, Laverne & Shirley: Season 1-Aug. 17th and Night Gallery: Season 1- Aug. 24!

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Low Carbs Can Kiss My Fat Ass

Yeah, that's right. I said it. Sure, I've been aware of the whole "low carb" fad since the bunless Whopper was introduced at Burger King. Since then we've been inundated with Subway's "Low Carb Wraps," low carb Pepsi Edge, low-carb, genetically-engineered potatoes (premiering in January, 2005! I know I'm on the edge of MY seat!...whatever) and the most recent induction into the retarded food hall of fame: the "Thickburger" over at Carl Jr.'s and Hardee's.

I just got back from the grocery store (for unfatal dairy and meat* see previous post) and to pick up a few items I needed to make a spaghetti dinner (My most recent love affair is with the Kraft Tangy Italian Spaghetti Dinner), and what do I see? Lite Garlic Toast. LITE! What the hell is "Lite" garlic toast, and do I care? No. No, I don't. I don't want to plan my entire life around how many friggin' carbs something has. I've seen this Atkins diet fad come and go once before (back in the 80's), and it will again. Not unlike Figurines, Jazzercise (which, let's face it, was just a cameltoe waiting to happen) and Ayds. I mean, let's be realistic people, are people who eat fast food to begin with, really the target audience for some corn tortilla filled with lettuce and sawdust? I think not.

The Amish Love Their Camaros -OR- Sesame Breadsticks Are NOT Fire Batons

I went to discount grocery store today. The grocery store has all kinds of good stuff, though I have to admit, I wouldn't feel too comfortable buying anything like meat or dairy products there. Rule of thumb when buying frozen food: If the product has enough ice crystals on it to build a snowman with, don't buy it. I also passed on some weirdo Laffy Taffy flavor that had (understandably) been discontinued: Chocolate Mousse. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the type of lightbulbs that I use in my Frostie Root Beer clock, for just 59¢! They usually cost more, so I stocked up. I also was excited to see a scented oil-Air freshener that I learned to love, only to have it be discontinued, in stock! *And for those of you wondering if I realize how sad it sounds to have fallen in love with an air freshener, yes, yes I know.

So, anyway, I go to check out and in a huge bin near the register is stacks of various flavors of breadsticks. And you know how I love breadsticks! (if you don't, you do now) So, I snatch up a few boxes (the sesame, my favorite) for just $1 a box!! As I'm waiting in line, I notice the couple in front of me are Amish. I briefly flash on scenes from Witness, then on to darker scenes from Deadly Blessing (though, technically those people were, "Hittites," but I digress). Once I come back from FlashbackLand, I notice that they are paying with a credit card. I didn't know Amish people even had credit cards. After they had finished checking out and were on their way to the parking lot, I nonchalantly sauntered over to the window to see what kind of vehicle they were in. I mean, if they have a credit card, then maybe the horse & buggy stereotype is out the window too. Enquiring minds wanted to know. So, get this, I watched them load their groceries (actually she was doing most of the work, he was busy standing around looking authoritative) into a Camaro! Who knew the Amish loved Camaros? I'm always learning new things.

And speaking of learning experiences, once I got in my own car, I decide to dig into those tasty-lookin' sesame breadsticks. I'm no expert, but I don't think breadsticks are supposed to taste like gasoline. Not, that I've tasted gasoline, but this was definitely some kind of petroleum product "flavor." Blech! Now I know why they were such a bargain.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Garage Sales, Cat Cologne & Purple Rain.

I went to a couple of garage sales, an estate sale and drove by a 'moving sale' (I saw their stuff and thought "keep movin'") this weekend. Normally I'm not a fan of shopping where there's no air conditioning and there's risk of possible heatstroke (I live in Texas), but I passed all these sales while on errands to places I needed to go anyway, and couldn't resist.

The first place I went to was the estate sale, since it was just 2 streets behind my house. My main reason for wanting to go wasn't really bargains, but to see what the house looked like inside. Reason 1: The houses in this neighborhood are older (think 40's/50's) and sooo cute. Imagine hardwood floors, fireplaces in the living room, built in bookshelves and those cool little counters in the kitchen that are rounded on the end, and end in tiers of shelves. TOO COOL! And Reason 2: I always come away from an estate sale feeling better about how the interior of my house looks/smells, etc.

So I pull up to the house and there are already cars lining the street. My first thought is, "It's Saturday. Who they hell is awake at 9:30 AM on a Saturday? Weirdos." Then I remember that I'M there at 9:30AM, but then exclude myself from Weirdoville, 'cause I didn't get up to specifically go to yard sales, but instead, to get my errands over with. Yeah..okay, I'm a weirdo, too. Touche. So, walking up the house, my hopes are already kinda waning. I see some boxes of pillows covered in cat hair and as I'm stepping up on the sidewalk, a box filled with used bathroom toiletries. Let me at em'!...NOT! Who the hell would buy someone's 2/3 full bottle of lotion or toothpaste? Freaks, that's who.

I'm inside now and the first thing I notice is the eau de cat fragrance. Apparently the owner was/is (with most estate sales the owner has passed away, but sometimes their kids are just putting them in a home) a cat owner. Judging from the smell, a MULTIPLE cat owner. Wow. I feel self conscious because I can't control my nostrils from flaring, so I keep my head down and head for the books and records, which turn out to be a letdown. The books mostly consist of those old Reader's Digest condensed books and microwave cookbooks (a cookbook collector's kryptonite). However, I do see 2 cool little wooden boxes. They look kinda old, have hinged lids with black metal clasps. Very cool. I look for a price on them and the smaller one has $4 written on the bottom, so I think "Eureka! I'll get em'. If the small ones just $4, how much could the big one be?" So I ask one of the umpteen women running the estate sale how much the other one is, telling her I see the $4 price on one, but the other isn't priced. She takes the one that's priced and says "Oh, that's what I paid for it. I'm selling it for $20. And the other is $35. I got those at Pier One." I smile as if to say "neat," but I'm really thinking "You are seriously on some industrial-strength crack if you think I'm paying $50+ on 2 Pier One clearance items, one of which has a broken latch!" I quietly set them back down where they were and head towards the dining room, all the while overhearing people saying to each other "Is this really $100? "How much?" etc. I scope the rest of the house, but find nothing, so I head outside, without bothering looking at the boxes with misc. crap in them, sitting in the front yard. Who knows? I might have passed up half a carton of Whoppers for a mere $45! Whatever.

At my next two garage sales I do find a few things: A couple of tapes (Purple Rain soundtrack/Depeche Mode 101) to listen to in the ol' Walkman when I eventually start my exercise routine, 2 CDs (Savage Garden: Affirmation and The Corrs: Talk On Corners Special Edition), a couple of cheesy old cookbooks (Searchlight Recipe Book/Toll House Cookie Cookbook), a cool old liquor decanter shaped like a circus strongman and a cool, unused scrapbook from the 70's. All for under $10! Yaye bacon!

P.s. I got an e-mail from Jane today! I can't believe she wrote me back. What a sweetie. Jane, I say keep Marjorie's designer knockoff shoes. Deep down inside, I think she really wants you to have them. Oh, and I'm working on getting my blog up to blog standards. Promise! :)

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Never Talk Politics To A Man With A Plunger.

I've been having problems with a temperamental toilet. Sometimes it flushes, sometimes it gets its' swirl on, but nothing happens. So, I got online and searched for plumbers in my area ('cause I don't have a phone book 'cause it's the size of War & Peace). I ended up choosing "Diamond K Plumbing" 'cause my name starts with a 'K' and to me that translates into fate (it doesn't take much for me). Yeah, that's logical.

Anyway, I called because I heard dripping and it sounded as if it was dripping under the house. *Side note: I have an old house (it was built in 1940), so it has what they call a 'crawlspace' (AKA creepy flashback to The Boogens movie), beneath it. The crawlspace is accessible from a panel in the floor of the dining room closet.

Soooo, if the plumber had to get under the house, that means I had to remove all the misc. debris from the dining room closet (AKA deathtrap). That's always fun. I found stuff I didn't even remember having: Halloween decorations I couldn't find last Halloween, a heating pad (when did I buy that?), a Tom & Jerry board game and lots of misc. crap. It also turns out I own half a bag of Halloween candy circa 1995. Some of it had congealed in the bag. Nice. So I clear out the closet contents, move it to another room and lay down newspaper just in case it's muddy under there.

He's scheduled to be here at 9AM and shows up promptly at 2:30PM. What punctuality! So, he goes in the bathroom and (naturally) can't hear the dripping sound that I'm hearing (great, now I'm hearing things), so he decides to go investigate the crawlspace. I give him a flashlight and read him his last rites (The Boogens) and off he goes. Turns out it's NOT dripping under the house, thank god. However the dirt under the house is slightly damp, due to all the heavy rainfall we've been having, and after he's managed to fill very nook and cranny of his workboots with mud, he proceeds to grind dirt into 3 large rugs on the way to the door to wipe his feet (why bother?).

So while he's replacing some thingamajig in the back of the toilet, I decided to stop breathing down his neck like some old lady and get online and check on the news. Turns out another American guy got beheaded in Iraq. I go back to the bathroom to make small talk and casually mention this frustrating tidbit of news. Before I can finish the sentence he finishes it for me and tells me how he heard it on the radio in the truck on his way over. His voice kinda fades away, during his sentence, then he stands up and goes BA-fuckin'-LISTIC about us being over there in Iraq and what a mistake it was and how nobody takes responsibility for their actions anymore and how Bush is just the puppetmaster for all the corporations, etc. All of which I agree with, but he's getting increasingly pissed with every octave and the more he talks about it the more I'm starting to think to myself "What can I use as a weapon if he goes completely postal? What's within reach? Soap dispenser? No good. Toothbrush? No. Air freshener? That's it! I'll mace him with Crisp Breeze and while he's temporarily blinded (yet fragrant), I'll pelt him with various toiletries until I can get safely to the front door and out into the street."

Lucky for him, he gradually begins to calm down (maybe it was due to the cornered animal-look in my eyes), and sits back down on the edge of the tub and finishes changing out the doohickey, all the while mumbling about Vietnam vets and something about a Tejano music festival he missed. I slowly backed out, smiling and nodding and went to sit quietly, far away, with a book until he was done.

As it turns out, the whole problem was easily remedied. Apparently the tiny hole in the bottom of the bowl that controls the flow of water, when you flush the toilet, over time gets clogged with sediment from the water. He cleaned it out with his pocket knife (yikes) and the toilet flushed like gangbusters! I was so excited. I couldn't believe it. I'd been putting this off for over a year, due to another plumber's $900 estimate, and it was all taken care of in a matter of minutes. And for a hell of a lot less than $900! (try $85!)

I asked for his card, for future reference and wrote him a check. He gave me a receipt and got into his truck and was on his way. In the plus column, I now have a new plumber that I can rely on for any future plumbing emergencies. One that I know won't ream me with outrageous charges and bogus advice. Thank you volatile Larry!

Monday, June 21, 2004

Introduction. Inspiration. And My Lackluster Existance. Yay Bacon!

Hi and welcome to my first 'Blog' entry. I thought long and hard about my first entry, since I want to make it a good one. I debated on where to start, so I guess first off I'll give you a little insight into what to expect from my blog entries and who I am.

Some characteristics that one might choose to describe me are: sarcastic, observant, movie fanatic (esp. classics circa 30's/40's, horror and suspense), sardonic, hopeful and a 'closet optimist.'

Let me preface my entries with these helpful nuggets-o-insight: For those who may be considering reading my blogs, you might wanna brush up on your pop culture references. Mainly 70's and 80's. I love pop culture in all its' guises, so like my real-life conversations, I'll most likely be using it in my blogs as well. Also, I tend to ramble from time to time, about things that may otherwise ordinarily seem mundane. I'll be the first to admit I don't have much of a life, so no surprises there. So, if you are looking for high adventures via rock climbing expeditions, kayaking down a mighty river, or recent sexual escapades, you may want to keep on searching for that person's blog, 'cause that ain't me. I'm perfectly content renting movies, buying things I can't live without on eBay and enjoying delicious Chinese meals with the newspaper and my trusty (possibly now obsolete) journal. So, if you crave the frustrating misadventures of someone else's life, the occasional frustrating social interaction with the random idiot and rants about how I was awakened from a deep sleep by a strolling Jehovah Witness wearing a powder blue suit, then settle in! You've found your niche!

And last, but certainly not least, I'd also like to give a 'shout out' to the woman who inspired my delving into the world of blogging and made this all possible: Joy Gohring (AKA "Jane" from my new favorite TV show 'Good Girls Don't...'). I stumbled across "Jane's Blog" yesterday, read some of the entries and was hooked. She's just hilarious. I love Jane (but not in a creepy Single White Female kinda way). In the immortal words of Nina Simone, don't let me be misunderstood. I have no ties with Joy or the TV show "Good Girls Don't...," or the Oxygen channel for that matter. I'm just a fan who's been inspired to set aside his old spiral bound notebook/journal and blog away online, instead. So, thanks 'Jane' for making me laugh and inspiring me to finally start writing more and to never ever steal an ex-boyfriend's TiVo....unless I have a really good grasp before I pull it outta the wall. I'll never forget you.

100 Things About Me

1. I love good french fries
2. I have a BFA in Graphic Design
3. I own over 1,260 DVD movies
4. My "first kiss" was from some drunk idiot at a 7-11
5. I'm an only child
6. I think Johnny Knoxville is sexy
7. I collect records
8. I prefer cold weather
9. I like rainy days
10. My favorite holiday is Halloween
11. I was voted "Most Talented" of my senior class
12. I love pop culture
13. Horror movies are my favorite genre
14. Madeline Kahn sent me an autographed picture in the mail
15. I've never been in a fist fight
16. My favorite food is Chinese
17. I like everything on my pizza, except anchovies and mushrooms
18. I like to dip my french fries in mustard
19. The Hager Twins from the TV show Hee-Haw are my 3rd cousins
20. I had a "rat tail" in the 80's. It was over 12" long
21. I've had retina surgery
22. I've never broken a bone
23. My first concert was George Michael's Faith concert
24. I'm gay
25. I'm not too gay
26. I collect vintage retro cookbooks & booklets
27. Photography was my minor in college
28. I want to write a book called "Bitter" based on my history of bad dates
29. My second-favorite holiday is Valentine's Day
30. Double edge razors freak me out
31. My favorite flavor is grape
32. I like Jazz music
33. I like Electronica music
34. I prefer taking a bath to taking a shower
35. I like the taste of Alka Seltzer
36. I have a bodybuilder fetish
37. Some sounds turn me on
38. I started a Garfield fan club when I was in the 6th grade
39. I miss Peaches Records & Tapes
40. I hate to do yard work
41. I hate to do laundry
42. I hate to wash dishes
43. I miss Dunkin' Donuts
44. I have 5 movie posters framed in my house: American Gigolo (German poster), A Clockwork Orange, Fear No Evil, Fade To Black, and Happy Birthday To Me
45. One of my favorite Boris Karloff movies is The Black Cat
46. I think Vince Vaughn is sexy
47. I can be stubborn
48. I'm a nice person
49. I love cartoons
50. I miss taco-flavored Doritos
51. I used to dye my hair black. People couldn't tell the difference
52. My favorite colors are orange and chartreuse
53. I used to be a "cutter"
54. I was in love with a ferrier (blacksmith), once
55. I love to shop at Target
56. I have a habit of biting my fingernails
57. I rarely wear cologne
58. I order Thanksgiving dinner from a local grocery store every year
59. I like to shop at pawn shops and thrift stores
60. I love vintage advertising images, esp. food
61. I had a love/hate relationship with a guy named "Jon" in my 7th grade art class
62. I got a ticket for road rage once
63. I've only received 3 speeding tickets
64. I don't care for organized religion
65. At one time I wanted to be an art therapist
66. I've been through 3 psychiatrists and 1 therapist
67. I don't like to rely on drugs to fix problems
68. I miss my friend Kelea from junior college
69. I miss my childhood penpal Catherine
70. I prefer black shoes
71. I hate summertime
72. Autumn is my favorite time of year
73. I've only been drunk 3x
74. I've only thrown up once, from drinking too much
75. I've known someone who's died of AIDS
76. I wonder if self-esteem is a recessive trait
77. I like to smoke a clove cigarette or cigarello from time to time
78. I like clean, crisp smells
79. I'm not a big fan of flowery scents
80. I always wanted to learn how to box
81. I don't know how to swim
82. I don't know how to ride a bike
83. I don't like children
84. I don't like big dogs
85. I love to go to used book sales and fairs
86. I did an internship at a museum once
87. I like to make celebrity scrapbooks
88. I'm perfectly comfortable eating alone as I am with friends
89. I want to try a New England lobster roll someday
90. I'd rather look than touch
91. I like riding on trains
92. I like cereal
93. I wish I had some new glasses
94. If I could have one power, it would be the ability to freeze time
95. I bit my mom's boss, once
96. I wish I could have known James Dean
97. I love to play Boggle and word games
98. I wish I had a job working with books
99. Sometimes I get lonely
100. I spend way too much time on my blog

Sunday, June 20, 2004

R.I.P. Blogs

These are blogs that I have enjoyed reading in the past, who for whatever reason, have since "crossed over" to the other side. They will be missed.

  • *.*nessism

  • All Celebrity Gossip - All the Time

  • An Alchemist Lounge

  • Annie Rambles

  • Ashlee Simpson Watch

  • Because I Said So

  • Bitch, Please

  • Bitchbook (And Assorted Mutterings)

  • Bitter Cinema

  • Blog Therapy

  • Bump On A Blog

  • Carcura

  • A Cat Named Pi

  • Check Your Baggage

  • Cheese is the Devil's Plaything

  • CinemaToast

  • The College Idiot

  • Convoluted Insanity

  • Death By Books

  • Death Takes a Holiday

  • Deep Within the Vault

  • Diane's Diary and Rants

  • Dorothy is Dead

  • Enlightenments of a Cosmopolitan Amazon

  • Escape From Reality

  • Everyday Absurd

  • Feed Your Need

  • Forgetful of The Tomb...

  • Goddess Corner

  • Got Lyrics!

  • Hammer And Nail

  • Home Sweet Home

  • I Want to Spend My Life

  • If You Don't Have Cable...

  • Information Super-Highway

  • Intellectual con Fusion

  • Jane Blog

  • Krenneke: A Blocked Blog

  • Lady Mac's Musings

  • Lassitude

  • Mad Professor

  • Mark's Beefs

  • Metaphor Secrets

  • Mussel Juice

  • My Chaotic Neurotic Klutzy Life

  • My Dumb Butt Blog

  • The Nameless Blogger

  • News From Hurricane Land

  • No Hesitation, No Delay...

  • A Non-Stop Cavalcade of Fun

  • Orphic Soliloquy

  • Outwit, Outblog, Outsnark

  • Painfully Cool

  • Pieces of Me

  • Polyester Bride

  • Postcards From Metro Suburbia

  • Prognosis Negative

  • Queerly Canadian

  • Quixotica!

  • Random Stuff

  • San Antonio Sea Stories

  • Sensory Impact

  • SirDirge Thinking

  • Sound Familiar?

  • Sour Bob

  • Sugarfoot

  • Sunshine Sammie

  • Tabulas.com: Sarah Shireen

  • Technicolor Day

  • Timmy Ray

  • TKC Girl

  • To Norway On a Bicycle

  • Too Much Going On

  • Vandamonium's

  • * Velma's [Pie in the Sky] Lounge

  • Wabi My Sabi

  • Web Things I Like

  • What it is Today - The Most Twisted Name in News

  • Why Hello, Kitty!

  • Wildwriter
  • Halloween 2005 TV Schedule

    (All television shows listed: Designing Women, Happy Days, The Cosby Show, etc. are featuring Halloween-themed episodes!)

    October 31, 2005 Halloween TV Schedule

    7:00am-Frankenstein- USA
    7:00am-Mothra- WAM
    7:00am-Amityville Horror or Hoax? (repeats at 1pm)- HIST
    7:30am-Happy Days- WGN
    7:30am-Designing Women- LIFE
    8:00am-Universal Horror Nights- TRAVL
    8:00am-The Real Dracula (repeats at 8pm)- HIST
    8:00am-Boris Karloff Biography (repeats at 2pm and 3am)- BIO
    8:00am-Unwrapped- FOOD
    8:35am-Empire of the Ants (repeats at 8:20pm)- WAM
    10:00am-The Great Mouse Detective- DIS
    10:00am-Ancient Monster Hunters- HIST
    11:00am-The Haunted History of Halloween- HIST
    11:00am-Saturday Night Live: Halloween Special (repeats at 12)- E!
    11:00am-The Secret Life of Vampires (repeats at 5pm)- A&E
    12:00pm-The Curse of the Exorcist- E!
    1:00pm-The Relic- USA
    3:00pm-The Cosby Show- WGN
    3:00pm-The Curse of Poltergeist- E!
    5:00pm-Cherry Falls- SCI-FI
    7:00pm-3am Psychic Detective/The Investigators marathon- COURT
    7:00pm -Twitches- DIS
    7:00pm-Jeepers Creepers- SCI-FI
    8:00pm-Wendigo (repeats at 12midnight)- IFC
    10:00pm-Maniac (repeats at 2am)- IFC
    10:05pm-Final Destination 2- USA
    12:05am-American Psycho- SCI-FI

    (*Check local listings for time and channel)

    Halloween 2004 TV Schedule

    Tuesday, October 26
    6:30PM
    • Unwrapped-Chocolate gum; chocodiles; designer cocoa; minute fudge. (Food Network)
    7PM
    • It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (ABC)
    • Emeril's Tricks or Sweets (Food Network)
    • The Hillside Stranglers- Two thrill-killers terrorize the Los Angeles area in the late 1970s. (A&E Biography) (Repeats at 11PM)
    • I Know What You Did Last Summer-A killer stalks North Carolina teens (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe) who disposed of an auto accident's live victim. (Family Channel) (Repeats on Sat. @ 7PM (KTXA) and again on Sun. @ 7PM (Family)
    • Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers- Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) renews his hunt for killer Mike, who has escaped from the hospital once again. (AMC) (Repeats on Sat. @ 5PM and Sun. @ 3PM)
    • Color of Night- Attempts on his life escalate as a New York psychologist (Bruce Willis) closes in on a colleague's killer in Los Angeles. (Mystery) (Repeats Thurs. @ 8PM)
    • Weird Travels-A demonic hatchet lady chases lovers; a ghostly choir of nuns chants prayers. (Repeats @ 10PM and on Sun. @1PM)(Travel)
    8PM
    • Frankenstein- Stranded in the icy wilderness, a scientist (Alec Newman) tells a ship's incredulous crew about his creation of a living being (Luke Goss) and its subsequent rampage. (Hallmark) (Repeats Wed. @ 8PM)
    • The 100 Scariest Movie Moments (Repeats @ 11PM and Wed. @ 7PM and Sat. @ 9PM and Sun. @ 10:30PM and Mon. @12AM)(BRAVO)
    9PM
    • Curses of New England-The dark side of New England is a breeding ground for tales of horror. (Repeats on Wed. @ 12AM and Sat. @ 2PM)(Travel)
    • Halloween 5-Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) meets Mike's 9-year-old niece (Danielle Harris), who seems to know when he's going to kill next. (Repeats on Wed. @ 2:45AM/4:30PM and Sat. @ 7PM and Sun. @5PM (AMC)
    • Jagged Edge (9:05PM)- A lawyer (Glenn Close) falls in love with her client, a San Francisco publisher (Jeff Bridges) accused of killing his heiress wife. (Mystery)
    • Chandu The Magician- Mystical Chandu (Edmund Lowe) materializes at will, foiling turbaned Roxor (Bela Lugosi) and his Nile death ray. (FMC)
    11PM
    • Phantasm II- Two psychically linked teens (James Le Gros, Paula Irvine) cannot escape from the grave-robbing Tall Man of their nightmares. (AMC)
    • Below- Mysterious events occur aboard a submarine after its crew (Matt Davis, Bruce Greenwood) rescues three survivors from a sunken ship during World War II. (Repeats Sun. @ 11:20AM)(Mystery)
    • Alone In The Dark- Homicidal maniacs escape during a blackout, do some looting, terrorize a hated psychologist and visit a punk-rock club. (Repeats Wed. @ 5AM)(IFC)

    Wednesday, October 27
    6:30PM
    • Scream 2- A masked killer continues to pursue a California student (Neve Campbell) and her friends at an Ohio college. Premiere (AMC) (Repeats @ 10PM and Sun. @ 7PM and 9:30PM)
    • Unwrapped- Chocolate covered donuts, cherries, pretzels and Oreos; Andes Mints; Hershey Spa. (Food Network)
    7PM
    • The Amityville Horror- A couple (James Brolin, Margot Kidder) battle a demonic presence in their new home, the location of many gruesome murders a year earlier. (WGN) (Repeats Mon @ 12AM on AMC, Thu. @ 8:50PM on Mystery, )
    • Weird Travels- A murdered landowner and hundreds of drowning-victims party until dawn; an FBI sting takes place at the Biograph Theater. (Repeats @ 10PM and Sun. @ 2PM)(Travel)
    • Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein - While working at a theme park, the Chipmunks discover that Dr. Frankenstein and his monster are living in one of the attractions. Animated. (Disney)
    • Poltergeist II: The Other Side- An American Indian helps a broke and homeless family (JoBeth Williams, Craig T. Nelson), once again prey to a poltergeist (Julian Beck). (ABC Family) (Repeat Sat, @ 5PM and 12PM on KXTA)
    7:01PM
    • The Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas- An adventurer (Forrest Tucker) and a botanist (Peter Cushing) lead a Tibetan search for the legendary big-footed Yetis. (FMC)
    8:00PM
    • Ghost Hunters- The U.S. Coast Guard seeks the help of the Ghost Hunters to investigate the legend of a haunted lighthouse. (Sci-Fi)(Repeats @ 11PM)
    9:00PM
    • Scare Tactics- A deranged driver wreaks havoc at a car wash; a medical office receptionist witnesses an unwanted amputation.
    • The Thing- Antarctic outpost men (Kurt Russell, A. Wilford Brimley, T.K. Carter) fight a slimy alien able to assume the form of life it engulfs. (Action) (Repeats Sun. @ 11:45AM & 7:05PM)
    • The Norliss Tapes- An occult investigator (Roy Thinnes) picks up the trail of a California vampire. (FMC)
    9:30
    • Scare Tactics- Killer criminals and traps keep a young man from freedom; a psychiatric hospital worker becomes the newest patient; a girl is pregnant with an alien baby.
    11:00PM
    • Emeril's Tricks or Treats
    11:30PM
    • Dahmer- Factory worker Jeffrey Dahmer (Jeremy Renner) lures boys and young men to his Milwaukee apartment in order to kill and mutilate them. (Sundance) (Repeats Friday @ 1:15AM)

    Thursday, October 28
    6PM
    A boy (Corey Haim) in a wheelchair stops a werewolf with his uncle (Gary Busey) and sister (Megan Follows).
    • The Grim Adventures of Billy and mandy- "Get Out of My Head; Look Alive; Mortal Dilemma" (Cartoon Network)
    • Child's Play 2- Possessed by a killer's spirit, Chucky the knee-high doll returns to get the boy (Alex Vincent) who destroyed him. (Sci-Fi)
    6:30PM
    • Unwrapped- History of caramels and nougat. (Food Network)
    • Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island - Scooby and his pals encounter creepy characters at a haunted house on a Louisiana bayou. Animated. (Cartoon Network)
    7PM
    • Silver Bullet- A boy (Corey Haim) in a wheelchair stops a werewolf with his uncle (Gary Busey) and sister (Megan Follows). (AMC) (Repeats @ 10:45PM and Fri. @ 5PM and Sat. @ 11AM and Sun. @ 1AM)
    • Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare- Elm Street's Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) terrorizes his therapist daughter (Lisa Zane) who tries to destroy him once and for all. (WGN) (Repeats Sat. @ 10:30PM)
    • Weird Travels- Murdered steamboat captain; desperate woman fills the air with terrifying visions. (Travel) (Repeats @ 10PM and Sun. @ 12PM)
    • Hangman's Curse- An investigative team probes mysterious events at a high school. Premiere (ABC Family)
    8PM
    • Loretta Lynn's Haunted Plantation- Civil war ghosts haunt Hurricane Mills in Tennessee. (Travel) (Repeats @ 11PM and Sun. @ 10Am/6PM and Mon. @ 1AM)
    • Hocus Pocus- Halloween trick-or-treaters come face to face with three witch sisters (Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy) from the past in Salem, Mass. (Disney) (Repeats Thur. @ 7PM and Sun. @ 1PM & 8:45PM)
    • Bride of Chucky- Animated by a vicious killer's spirit, a battered doll and its mate seek help from neighbors (Katherine Heigl, Nick Stabile) to regain human form. (Sci-Fi)
    • The Legend of Sleepy Hollow- Ichabod Crane (Brent Carver) searches for the truth behind the legend of the Headless Horseman, while trying to win the affections of a farmer's daughter (Rachelle Lefavre). (Hallmark) (Repeats Sunday @ 5PM)
    • Tutenstein- "The Curse of the Pharaoh"-El Zabkar unleashes the goddess Ammut from the underworld to destroy Tut. (DC Kids)
    8:30PM
    • America's Most Haunted Places- Wars, fires and epidemics give rise to hauntings in Savannah, Ga. (Travel) (Repeats Fri. @ 12AM)
    9PM
    • The Phantom of the Paradise- A scarred rock-opera composer (William Finley) attacks a music mogul (Paul Williams) who has made a deal with the devil. (FMC) (Repeats Sun. @ 5:02PM)
    11PM
    • Diabolique- A wife (Isabelle Adjani) and a mistress (Sharon Stone) conspire to murder the brutal headmaster (Chazz Palminteri) of a school for boys, then the body disappears. (TNT)

    Friday, October 29
    6PM
    • World's Best- "Supernatural Destinations"- America's hotbeds of paranormal activity; psychics, voodoo priests, and vampires. (Travel) (Repeats @ 1AM)
    6:30PM
    • Unwrapped- Gummi Army Men; slimy sour goo; combination of Jelly Bellys and chocolate; Brain Drips; Fizzies. (Food)
    • The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy - "Whatever Happened to Billy Whathisname?; Just the Two of Pus"- Mandy replaces Billy with a different boy; Sperg needs to be nice to Billy so Grim will clear up his skin. (Cartoon Network)
    7PM
    • Child's Play- A killer sought by a Chicago detective (Chris Sarandon) becomes a doll called Chucky, bought by a woman (Catherine Hicks) for her son (Alex Vincent). (WGN) (Repeats Sun @ 7PM on KDFI)
    • Haunted Hotels- "The Uninvited"- Haunted plantation; a bride dies on her wedding day; English highwayman returns from the dead to kill again. (Travel) (Repeats @10PM)
    • The Omen- A U.S. diplomat (Gregory Peck) and his wife (Lee Remick) adopt the infant Damien in Rome, then find out he's the Antichrist. (AMC)
    • Mad Love- A bald surgeon (Peter Lorre) grafts a killer's hands on to the pianist husband (Colin Clive) of an actress (Frances Drake) he loves. (TCM)
    7:01PM
    • The Ghost and Mrs. Muir- A London widow (Gene Tierney) falls in love with a sea captain's ghost (Rex Harrison) haunting her cottage by the sea. (FMC)
    8PM
    • The Canterville Ghost- A jaded American family frustrates the ghost (Patrick Stewart) trying to scare them from his 400-year-old English manor. (Hallmark) (Repeats @ 1PM on Sun.)
    • J.D.'s Revenge- The spirit of a zoot-suited, razor-wielding 1940s hoodlum possesses a New Orleans law student (Glynn Turman). (TVONE) (Repeats @ 11PM and Sat. @ 12PM)
    8:15PM
    • The Beast With Five Fingers- A crawling hand chases a late concert pianist's personal secretary (Peter Lorre) around an Italian villa. (TCM)
    9PM
    • Exorcist II: The Heretic- Four years after an exorcism, another priest (Richard Burton) arrives to free a possessed young woman (Linda Blair). (BRAVO) (Repeats @ 11:30PM and Sun. @ 1Am and 3:30PM)
    • Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte - Half-mad Charlotte (Bette Davis) lives in a Louisiana mansion with her greedy cousin (Olivia de Havilland) and family doctor (Joseph Cotten). (FMC) (Repeats Sun. @ 1PM and Mon. @ 3AM)
    9:15PM
    • Damien: Omen II- A couple (William Holden, Lee Grant) send their orphan nephew the Antichrist (Jonathan Scott-Taylor) to military school, where he learns who he is. (AMC)
    10PM-
    • Copycat- A criminal psychologist (Sigourney Weaver) helps two detectives (Holly Hunter, Dermot Mulroney) trail a killer whose crimes mirror those of infamous mass murderers. (TNT)
    • Quicksand- A garage mechanic (Mickey Rooney) robs the till for a date with a gold digger (Jeanne Cagney), then sinks even lower. Premiere (TNT)

    Saturday, October 30
    7PM
    • Jekyll and Hyde: The True Story - An Edinburgh businessman becomes a criminal psychopath by night. (Discovery) (Repeats @ 10PM)
    • Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II- A teenager returns from the grave and goes to the prom about 30 years too late. (KDFI/11) (Repeats Sun. @ 2AM-KDFW)
    • Dracula: Dead and Loving It- Clumsy Dracula (Leslie Nielsen) victimizes a traveling salesman (Peter MacNicol), then moves on to London for fresh blood. (KDAF) (Repeats Sun. @ 7PM on WGN)
    • Howling II- A werewolf expert (Christopher Lee) goes to Transylvania with the brother and the colleague (Annie McEnroe) of a werewolf newswoman. (WGN)
    • Skinwalkers: An American Mystery! Special - Tony Hillerman's characters Lt. Joe Leaphorn (Wes Studi) and officer Jim Chee (Adam Beach) investigate a killer who uses Navajo witchcraft as his method. (PBS) (Repeats Sat. @ 7PM)
    • Casper - A teen (Christina Ricci) who lost her mother befriends friendly ghost Casper while staying at a mean heiress's (Cathy Moriarty) haunted mansion. (PAX)
    • The Hollow- The presence of Ichabod Crane's descendant (Kevin Zegers) in Sleepy Hollow conjures the Headless Horseman, and slaughter ensues. (Family) (Repeats @ 9PM and Sun. @ 5PM)
    • Wolfman: The Myth and the Science- Medical reports indicate that a misunderstood condition may have prompted the legend of lycanthropy. (Science) (Repeats @ 10PM and Sun. @ 3AM/6AM/11AM)
    • Dario Argento: An Eye For Horror- Interviews and clips profile the director known as the ``Italian Hitchcock.'' (IFC)
    8PM
    • Lizzie Borden Had an Axe - A 21st-century homicide detective tries to solve the mystery of a brutal 19th-century unsolved murder. (Discovery) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    • World's Biggest Candy Show - Annual All Candy Expo. (Food Network) (Repeats @ 12AM)
    • Suspiria- A New York ballerina (Jessica Harper) enrolls at a haunted dance academy run by witches in the Black Forest. (IFC) (Repeats Sun. @ 1:30AM)
    • Weird Travels- "Haunted Hotels: Footsteps in the Night"- Ghost of a murderess; a maid haunts the house in which she met her fiery death; lovers search for each other from beyond. (Travel) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    • The Honeymooners- "The Curse of the Kramdens"- Ralph and Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has a ghost. (GTV) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    9PM
    • Exorcists: The True Story- The possession and exorcism of a 1950s teen inspires one of the scariest of films. (Discovery) (Repeats Sun @ 12AM and 1AM)
    • An American Werewolf in Paris - A U.S. tourist (Tom Everett Scott) saves a Parisian (Julie Delpy) from suicide, pursues her and gradually discovers her dark secret. (AMC)
    • Scare-A-Thon- ``Tiny Toon Adventures: Stuff That Goes Bump in the Night''; ``The Fairly OddParents: Scary Godparents''; ``Corneil & Bernie: Moonstroke''; ``The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius: Nightmare in Retroville''; ``SpongeBob SquarePants: Scaredy Pants.' (Nick Toons)
    • The Other- Something's strange about twin boys on a 1930s Connecticut farm. (FMC) (Repeats Sun. @ 11AM and Mon. @ 1AM)
    9:01PM
    • Scream of the Wolf- A hunter (Clint Walker) and a writer (Peter Graves) track what could be a killer werewolf. (FMC) (Repeats @ 11:31PM)
    9:15PM
    • Psycho- A woman (Janet Leigh) on the run stops at a 12-cabin motel with showers, run by mother-fixated Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins). (TCM)
    9:30PM
    • Godzilla vs. Mothra: The Battle for Earth- A radioactive dinosaur joins the fray between a giant moth and a monster set on destroying humanity. (WAM!) (Repeats Sun. @ 8:30AM)
    10PM
    • Hollywood's Creepiest Creatures- King Kong; Godzilla; Wolf Man; Willard. (Animal Planet) (Repeats Sun. @ 2PM)
    • Arachnid- A pilot (Alex Reid) and her crew (Chris Potter, Neus Asensi) encounter giant spiders while searching for her brother on an island. (Sci-Fi)
    11PM
    • Misery- An author (James Caan) recovers from an accident, nursed by a twisted fan (Kathy Bates) insisting he must write a new book just for her. (TNT) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    • The Exorcist- An actress (Ellen Burstyn) calls upon Jesuits to try to end her 12-year-old daughter's (Linda Blair) possession by the devil. Premiere (USA) (Repeats Sun. @ 11:30AM)
    • Death Becomes Her- An actress (Meryl Streep) and an author (Goldie Hawn) fight over a plastic surgeon (Bruce Willis) and the secret of eternal beauty. (Lifetime)
    • An American Werewolf in London- A New York student (David Naughton) becomes the scourge of London after being bitten by a beast on the moors.
    11:15PM
    • Dr. Phibes Rises Again- After movement of the planets brings mad Phibes (Vincent Price) back to life, he and his silent helper (Valli Kemp) try to revive his wife. (WAM!) (Repeats Sun. @ 1:45PM)
    11:30PM
    • Mr. Moto's Last Warning - The Japanese detective (Peter Lorre) foils a spy's (Ricardo Cortez) Suez Canal plot to blow up the French fleet. Premiere (TCM)
    MIDNIGHT
    • The Final Conflict- Now ambassador to England, Antichrist Damien (Sam Neill) leads a global manhunt for his age-old enemy. (AMC)
    12:20AM-
    • Alien- After answering an SOS, a crew (Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt) encounters a merciless, horrifying creature aboard a space tanker. (FMC) (Repeats @ 9PM Sun.)
    1AM
    • M- Berlin's underworld races the police to find a whistling killer (Peter Lorre) of little girls. (TCM)
    • Jack's Back- A doctor's (James Spader) twin brother and a woman (Cynthia Gibb) trace Jack the Ripper-style slayings in Los Angeles. (IFC) (Repeats @ 5AM)
    1:20AM
    Diary of a Madman- A 19th-century French judge (Vincent Price) acquires a condemned man's urge and butchers a canary and a model (Nancy Kovack). (Mystery)

    HALLOWEEN DAY
    Sunday, October 31
    6PM
    • The Simpsons- "Treehouse of Horror XIV"- Homer bludgeons the Grim Reaper to death; Lisa harvests human-body parts from Springfield residents to create a Frankenstein monster (Jerry Lewis); Bart and Milhouse discover a watch that stops time. (KDFW)
    • Jeepers Creepers- A cloaked figure (Jonathan Breck) terrorizes two siblings (Gina Phillips, Justin Long) after they discover mutilated bodies in a country drainpipe. (USA)
    • Unwrapped- Regional sweets from across the United States.
    • The Haunted History of Halloween- Ancient customs lead to modern practices of trick or treat!, costume parties and making jack-o'-lanterns. (History)
    6:30PM
    • Unwrapped- Secrets to making candy pop in the mouth; canine candy; crazy confections.
    7PM
    • Emeril Kicks Up Halloween
    • Witch Hunt- In 1692 Salem, Mass., 20 people hang or are tortured to death for witchcraft. (History) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    • World's Creepiest Destinations - Voodoo tour in New Orleans; Lizzie Borden's home; Gettysburg, Pa.; the Bermuda Triangle; UFOs. (Travel) (Repeats @ 10PM)
    • Scary Movie 2- A professor tricks four teenagers into visiting his haunted mansion for a sleep-deprivation study. (Comedy Central)
    • Terror In The Aisles- Donald Pleasence and Nancy Allen show clips from ``The Shining,'' ``The Exorcist'' and other shockers. (True)
    • Mario Bava: Maestro of the Macabre- A profile of the cult Italian director. (IFC) (Repeats @ 12:45AM)
    • Mars Needs Women- Martian Dop (Tommy Kirk) and his buddies want a scientist (Yvonne Craig) and other women for breeding. (FLIX)
    7:30PM
    • House On Haunted Hill- A madman (Vincent Price) offers $10,000 to anyone who spends the night in a spooky mansion. (TCM)
    8PM
    • Haunted New England- Some consider New England, home to the oldest residences in the country and battleground for gruesome conflicts, to be a hotbed of ghostly activity. (Travel) (Repeats @ 11PM)
    • Mostly True Stories: Urban Legends Revealed- Popular stories may or may not be true. (TLC)
    • Boogeymen II: Masters of Horror - Interviews with Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Dario Argento and others highlight a retrospective of great horror films and their directors. Host: Bruce Campbell. (Sci-Fi)
    • Black Sunday- Burned at the stake, a vampire witch princess (Barbara Steele) wakes up centuries later with her undead henchman. Premiere subtitled (IFC)
    • Dracula: Pages From a Virgin's Diary - Dracula (Zhang Wei-Qiang) searches for women while trying to elude a vampire hunter (David Moroni) in 1987 England. Premiere (Sundance)
    8:30PM
    • Yongary, Monster From the Deep- An earthquake from an atomic blast rouses an amphibious colossus, which then attacks South Korea. (FLIX)
    8:40PM
    • Godzilla vs. Destoroyah- Scientists freeze a radioactive dinosaur and contend with a horde of lethal creatures formed from its cells. (WAM!)
    9PM
    • America's Haunted Hotels- The most haunted hotels in America. (Travel) (Repeats @ 12AM)
    • Mostly True Stories: Urban Legends Revealed- A baby sitter experiments with LSD; a Christmas surprise backfires; a woman pays the ultimate price for a new dress; a jealous husband hatches a deadly plan. (TLC)
    • Roseanne- "BOO!" On Halloween, family members try to scare one another. (Nick)
    • The Haunting- An anthropologist (Richard Johnson), an heir and two ESP-prone women (Julie Harris, Claire Bloom) explore a New England mansion. (TCM)
    • Sherlock Holmes Mysteries - "The Hound of the Baskervilles"- A hound from hell haunts the Baskerville ancestral home. (Biography)
    9:30PM
    • Roseanne- "Trick or Treat"- In Halloween garb, Roseanne is mistaken for a guy at the Lobo Lounge. (Nick)
    • Twitch of the Death Nerve - The daughter of a murdered countess stages her suicide in order to get revenge. subtitled (IFC)

    Have a safe and Happy Halloween!

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