Sunday, October 31, 2004

The Blue-Nosed Witch

Before Halloween is over, I wanted to share with you my all-time favorite book that I read every Halloween. It used to be my mother's, then she gave it to me. It's called The Blue-Nosed Witch and it was written in 1956 by Margaret Embry. It's the story of Blanche, a little witch with a broom and a black cat named Brockett. Blanche is a special witch because she has a blue nose that blinks on and off.

It's a really spectacular book with fantastic B&W illustrations. It's very inexpensive (under $5) and you can always find a used copy on eBay or Amazon.

Halloween Agenda

Happy Halloween everyone! Today I'll be making Sloppy Joes and candy apples (I finally learned how to melt the candy without burning it). Of course, there will be plenty of popcorn on hand, both Jiffy Pop and hot-air popped (what can I say, I get a kick out of seeing it pop... anyone remember those popcorn poppers with the transparent orange covers?) and of course, 'tato chips! Today's movies will be:

Trick or Treat (1952)
The Lady In White (1988)
Mad Monster Party? (1967)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Bugs Bunny Howl-O-Ween Special (1978)
Halloween (1978)
House of Wax (1953)
Hold That Ghost (1941)
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)
Terror Train (1980)
Hell Night (1981)

Also, don't forget these horror goodies on TV tonight:
The Haunted History of Halloween- Ancient customs lead to modern practices of trick or treat!, costume parties and making jack-o'-lanterns. (History Channel)
Comments: A fascinating, in-depth history of Halloween. A Halloween tradition!
Dracula: Pages From a Virgin's Diary - Dracula (Zhang Wei-Qiang) searches for women while trying to elude a vampire hunter (David Moroni) in 1987 England. Premiere (Sundance Channel)
Comments: I've been wanting to see this one since it was originally released in 2002!
The Haunting- An anthropologist (Richard Johnson), an heir and two ESP-prone women (Julie Harris, Claire Bloom) explore a New England mansion. (Turner Classic Movies Channel)
Comments: A must-see haunted house movie. Among one of the best of the genre.

Happy Halloween!

I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Halloween! And don't forget to set those clocks back one hour, for Daylight Savings Time! I'll be posting more later on throughout the day, so in the meantime, here are some fun sites to visit:

Send a vintage Halloween e-card
Make your own virtual jack o' lantern
My Halloween Yahoo! Group: Lots of desktops, 70's/ 80's costumes +...
The Exorcist in 30 seconds re-enacted by bunnies

And don't forget the Spooky Stuff links in the Links column on your left!

Saturday, October 30, 2004

All Hallow's Eve Agenda

Yesterday I went to the big book sale I look forward to every year. It's held by the Women's Auxiliary every October. It used to be held at the Army Reserve near the park, but ever since "Operation Freedom," it's been moved across the street in the auditorium of the Lutheran church. Outside the church on the front lawn, they've been hosting a "Pumpkin Patch" for the last 4 years. They get their pumpkins from Native Americans who grow them specifically for the sale each year , and therefore part of the proceeds go to them. I killed two birds with one stone by buying a box of books (more details next week) AND a pumpkin.

Since I already took care of getting provisions yesterday, today I am gonna listen to my Halloween records while I make some spice cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and bits of candy corn! Mmmm! I bought a loaf of fresh sourdough bread yesterday, so I think I'll be having a Monterey jack/provolone grilled cheese with a bowl of tomato soup. Here's the list of movies I'll be watching throughout the day:
Mark of The Vampire (1935)
Monster Mania (Hosted by Elvira) (1997)
The Changeling (1980)
The Fog (1980)
Clue (1985)
Village of The Damned (1960)
The Devil Bat (1940)
Hocus Pocus (1993)
The Turn of The Screw (1994)
Also, don't forget these horror goodies on TV tonight:
The Hollow- The presence of Ichabod Crane's descendant (Kevin Zegers) in Sleepy Hollow conjures the Headless Horseman, and slaughter ensues. (Family Channel) (Repeats @ 9PM and Sun. @ 5PM)
Comments: I've been waiting to see this one for quite some time. Sounds like a promising premise, plus Kevin Zegers is H-O-T.
The Other- Something's strange about twin boys on a 1930's Connecticut farm. (FMC Channel) (Repeats Sun. @ 11AM and Mon. @ 1AM)
Comments: This creepy lil' chiller has been long out-of-print and co-stars a young John Ritter. Really great psychological thriller. Try to catch it if you can.

Also, Elvira will be hosting scary movies all this weekend on Lifetime, so be sure and flip by there at some point!

*This is one of three posts I made today, so be sure you scroll down! I know you're just like Aerosmith: you don't wanna miss a thing!

Autumn In Texas

These are just a few images I snapped over the last couple of days. (From left to right)
• This is one of my favorite roads to drive down, especially once all the leaves have changed colors. It's pretty either way really.
• Some mini pumpkins in a bin outside the local hardware store down the street from me.
• Indian corn in a bin at the same hardware store.
• A HUGE pumpkin priced at $60, outside the book sale.
• A cute little house that I pass on the way to the post office, all decorated for Halloween.
• The window at my favorite "old school" video store (more details next week).
• A really cute little ceramic votive candle holder I couldn't resist buying at the local hardware store, mentioned above. It's only about 6" high, but they had others that were 4X bigger! I wanna check back after Halloween, maybe I can get one for half price! There was also one that was just a black cat. Too cute!
• Pumpkins from the "Pumpkin Patch" outside the book sale.
• My favorite kitty statuette in the hallway outside my bedroom.

Read Any Good Horror Movies Lately?

I collect horror movie tie-in paperbacks and since Halloween is drawing nearer and nearer, I've decided to share with you, nine of my favorites. Of course, I have others; The Fog, The Boogens, Dead & Buried, Friday The 13th Part III, etc., but these are my favorite for various reasons. (From left to right)

Patrick by Keith Hetherington © 1980
Comments: Creepy thriller I couldn't put down. Too bad the movie version wasn't as captivating.
The Howling by Gary Brandner © 1977
Comments: The slasher that started them all. One of the sole reasons why werewolves creep me out to this day. One of my favorite werewolf movies. In the same league as The Boy Who Cried Werewolf and An American Werewolf In London. Did I mention werewolves creep me out?
Final Exam by Geoffrey Meyer © 1981
Comments: One of my earliest memories of a book my mother refused to let me buy. I spent years looking for it, just for that reason.
Black Christmas by Lee Hays © 1976
Comments: One of my all-time favorite horror movies. Never ceases to creep me out! An extremely hard book to find.
Dracula's Daughter by Carl Dreadstone © 1977
Comments: Controversial at the time, because of its' lesbian undertones, this is one of my favorite Universal horror movie sequels. A beautiful film with a great storyline.
Fade To Black by Ron Renauld © 1980
Comments: LOVE the concept of this book: The main character, Eric Binford, goes on a killing spree, dressed a his favorite characters from movies: Dracula, The Mummy, Hopalong Cassidy...
Halloween by Curtis Richards © 1979
Comments: This is the original one that I had when I was growing up. I could kick myself for supposedly "making the knife even scarier" by coloring the tip with a red pen! Aaaiiggghh!
Friday The 13th Part II by Simon Hawke © 1988
Comments: Hands down, my favorite of the F13 sequels. I've yet to see a slasher top this creative brutality. Besides, I SO had a crush on "Mark", the guy in the wheelchair. ROWR!
Dressed To Kill by Brian De Palma and Campbell Black © 1980
Comments: My favorite Brian De Palma movie next to Carrie. SUCH a great suspense movie. What a great score. Second creepiest thing about the movie? The close-up of Angie Dickinson's stunt-pussy. ::shiver::

According To The Buffy Quiz, I'm Destined To Be With...


Friday, October 29, 2004

Mad Love Tonight on Turner Classic Movies

As I've mentioned on more than one occasion, I am a big Peter Lorre fan. With that said, I wanted to make you aware of 3 of his best horror/crime movies that will be coming on Turner Classic Movies tonight, consecutively at 7PM • 8:15PM and 9:15PM (check local listings for time and channel).

Mad Love (1935) Dead hands that live... and love... and kill!
An insane surgeon's obsession with an actress leads him to replace her wounded pianist's hands with the hands of a knife murderer which still have the urge to throw knives.
The Beast With Five Fingers (1946) It walks like a spider... it stalks like a cobra!
Locals in an Italian village believe evil has taken over the estate of a recently deceased pianist where several murders have taken place. The alleged killer: the pianist's severed hand.
Quicksand (1950) This is the story of a nice guy who borrows $20 from a cash register to keep a date... with a cop... and a killer!
Motor mechanic Dan Brady lacks funds for a heavy date with new waitress Vera, the type whose life's ambition is a fur coat; so he embezzles twenty dollars from his employer. To make up the shortage, he goes in debt for a hundred. Thereafter, every means he tries to get out of trouble only gets him deeper into crime, while everyone he meets is out for what they can get.

Mad Love is one of my Halloween movie traditions. I was lucky enough to find it on VHS (it's still not available on DVD) recently and will be watching it Halloween night.

If you'd like to send a Mad Love or The Beast With Five Fingers e-card to someone, just click them!

*This is the first of multiple articles I will be posting today. So, be sure and scroll down!!

Halloween is for "Sinners"

At the risk of inciting more drama, today's rant deals with a holiday that is near and dear to me; Halloween. *deep breath* Just when I thought things couldn't get any more retarded... I read an article last week about how some cities are all up in arms over Halloween falling on a Sunday this year. Because of this, these disciples will be celebrating Halloween earlier, some, as far ahead as THREE days!

Give me a fuckin' break, already! I am SO sick and tired of Christmas being the only holiday that "really" matters to people anymore, just because it involves a religious origin (yes, I realize Halloween does too, but how many Christians are going to acknowledge Paganism?). Don't get me wrong, I celebrate Christmas, but if you ask me, it's been a LONG time since it stood for what "Christians" would like you to think it does. It reminds me of the whole gay marriage argument that gay marriages will somehow deteriorate the "sanctity" of marriage. Puhleeeze! Over 40% of marriages in America end in divorce and let's not even get started on the whole domestic violence statistics. But I digress.

My point is, you'd never DARE suggest Christmas be shuffled to say, December 27th, so why Halloween? Because you think God is on your side? Feh. It never ceases to amaze me the convoluted thinking people will come up with to justify their own agenda. Absolutely mind-blowing. And I thought it was bad when the churches around here came up with their cornball "Harvest Parties." Yeesh. That sounds like fun:

"Will there be plenty of corn to shuck and squash casserole!?"
"One can only hope, Billy. One can only hope."
"Will there be lots of lactose/fat-free, low carb, low sodium, no peanut oil, treats. mommy?!"
"We'll see, sweetie. Why don't you go show Aunt Margaret your fireman, policeman, Holy Ghost costume."

I dread the thought of future generations saying (providing they can form complete sentences), "I remember around Halloween time, we would..." No! Noooo. Not around. ON Halloween. This kind of bullshit is what makes people like me harken (harken? Did I just use the word "harken?") for the old days, when things weren't made unnecessarily complicated.

Back when you could still find cardboard cutouts of green witches, black cats and assorted ghouls and monsters. "Scary" ones, not this PC cutesy shit that they've been replaced with.

Back when kids still hosted Halloween parties and knew what games like "apple on a string" and "bobbling for apples" really was. You know, back when you bobbed for apples in a big metal tub that had enough water in it to submerge your head. Not this goofy Rubbermaid shit with 6 inches (if that) of water in it, since apparently today's children (or parents) are such complete mouth-breathers that they run the risk of drowning. Geez, enough with the pampered-poodle-children, already!

Back when all kids knew what UNICEF was and what it stood for. And back when the people whose homes you trick or treated at also knew to have a bowl of change at the ready for just such an occasion.

All I'm saying is this. I KNOW times change. I can deal with that. But do they always have to change for the worse? Are we, as a society going to suck ever little morsel of fun out of everything before it's all said and done? I'm not saying don't be safe. I'm not saying don't take precautions. What I am saying is don't let traditions like Halloween die or be altered to the point beyond recognition, just because you grew up.
*For those who are interested in reading the article that started this high blood pressure-inducing rant, click here.

*I will also be posting throughout the Halloween weekend.

Rhapsody in Ewww

Ack! My mom came across an old spiral notebook of mine, circa 1989/1990 and it contained some dark, broody, dramalicious poetry I had written during my "angst years." Being a typical mother, she kept telling me how good it was ("It rhymes!"). Moms, you gotta love em'. However, being the cynic I am, I know better. My angst is your gain! Oh well, I can laugh about it now. So, put on your favorite Cure album, light some candles and get ready to snap your approval for:

Teen Angst Poetry

(WARNING: Please do not operate heavy machinery while reading this poetry.)

Dark Reality

The cold mirrored image
is but a mirage of who I was
Rippling reflections of the past
Splinters of ice befall my soul
at the reality of my existence

Sole Search

Journey inward
look inside
beam with shame
or with pride
Alter time and direction
Remain the same
or make corrections


Bobbing up and down
floating on by
Will you try to catch it?
Will you ask yourself why?
They say be careful what you wish for
you just may receive
Wut once you have obtained it
will you smile or will you grieve?


Clouded thought and dreams
are like memories long forgotten
Remembrance is painful, but necessary
Images arrest your mind as they consume your soul

Hamburgers & Clowns

A few nights ago I had a hankerin' for an Ultimate Cheeseburger (What?! You like hamburgers?!) from Jack In The Box, so I dropped in on the drive-thru around 2:30AM. As I was driving through the parking lot, on my way to the drive-thru, I passed this creepy little shrine. I had to take a picture and show you. I must also add that there is another light base in the parking lot that is completely covered with silk flower arrangements, crosses made of flowers and other assorted "mourning"-style guerilla art.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

I'm Reading...

My friend Terri and I recently exchanged Halloween care packages, and included in the one she sent me was the 1969 book Limbo of the Lost by John Wallace Spencer. It's a relatively short book (seven chapters), but it's been a really interesting read, complete with 16 pages of illustrations. I had no idea so many people had simply disappeared, without a trace. And not only ships but aircrafts as well. And when I say "without a trace," I mean it: No debris, survivors, bodies, lifeboats, oil slicks, etc.

An interesting and quick read. If you happen to come across it some day, be sure and pick it up. It's currently out-of-print, but there's plenty for sale on for just , if you're so inclined. Not bad for a good book. Thanks Terri! :)


Today, Morrissey will be in concert in Fort Worth, Texas at the Will Rodgers Coliseum. Sure, he may be getting older and perhaps a little bloated-looking. I don't care. I still luff him. I'm not much on concerts, mainly because of all the people you end up having to deal with, but it'd been fun to see him again, live. The last concert I saw him do was for his album Your Arsenal. I've been to very few concerts, by choice, but the ones I have been to have been:

George Michael: Faith
• The Cure: Disintegration
• Morrissey: Kill Uncle
• Morrissey: Your Arsenal
• U2: Zooropa

A friend offered to take me and buy our tickets but I wouldn't feel right having someone spend $50 on me (the same amount I'd bet he doesn't remember the concert to begin with. He's a busy guy.). I'm not too keen on people paying my way, anyway. It gives me what I call the "Little Match Girl Syndrome." Besides, I hate to go somewhere and not have money to spend on the fun souvenir stuff, like a program, buttons, stickers, etc. Forget the concert t-shirts, my big thing is the tour program. I dunno what it is about them, but they make me feel like I've really been somewhere, ya know? Years ago, I found 2 old tour programs at a Half Price Books in Dallas and snatched them up: Madonna: Like A Virgin and The Police: Synchronicity.

I'm sure by today's standards Morrissey would be considered "Goth," not unlike The Cure, but back when I was listening to them they were categorized under "Pop." Regardless of category, I still enjoy listening to both groups. And even though Morrissey isn't for everyone (which isn't always a bad thing), perhaps because of his often melancholy lyrics and/or singing style, I own all his CDs, with the exception of his latest one. You know how there are just some things that you KNOW you're gonna like even before you've seen/read/heard them? Morrissey is that way for me. Sure, he's done his fair share of not-so-spectacular albums *cough* Maladjusted *cough*, but that's okay.

One of the things I always enjoy about a Morrissey or even a Smiths CD, for that matter, are the covers. He always manages to come up with some of the best images, whether they be from films or otherwise. I also like that he has an affinity for boxers and James Dean, as do I. I wonder if he influenced my interest? Either way, I love his music, LOVE his music videos (if you can find a copy of Hulmerist, I definitely recommend it: It has the video for Ouija Board, Ouija Board, which his DVD, ¡Oye Esteban! doesn't) and, of course, love him.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I can hear thunder rumbling in the distance, so I'm sure it'll be raining anytime now. The perfect weather to watch some Morrissey videos. I think I'll watch the video for Ouija Board, Ouija Board or November Spawned A Monster.

*I will be posting multiple articles today. so be sure and check back!

Griff's Hamburgers

Yesterday I had lunch at my favorite place to get a hamburger: Griff's Hamburgers. I have no idea how long Griff's has been around, but from the looks of their restaurants, I'd guess since the 60's, but I'm not sure. Griff's are usually located in seedier parts of town, along with the pawn shops, thrift stores and shooting ranges (there actually is a shooting range just down the street from the one I'm talking about). At least, that's been my experience. But, regardless of location, one thing is always consistent: Their food. They make THE best hamburgers and onion rings on the planet.

On a funny side note, from time to time, they have various "limited edition", if you will, food items. One, which turned out to be pretty damn good, actually, was "Chicken Fries." At first, I was like "WTF is a 'Chicken Fry?" As it turns out, they were simply long, thin breaded chicken strips. So, basically chicken strips. They came with ranch dressing for dipping. Mmmm!

Now for the one that even I wouldn't venture to try: Macaroni 'N Cheese Nuggets. Yes, you read correctly. I'm not sure if that was the actual name they had given them, but that's what they were. Think chicken nuggets, but instead of a breaded piece of chicken, it was a batter-dipped mass of macaroni 'n cheese! Lol! Too crazy! Is there no limit to what can be dipped in batter? If you didn't know what they were, you'd swear it was a chicken nugget. Anyway, I remember being so dumbfounded by the mere idea, that I swiped a table topper that was advertising them and scanned it. One of these days, when I find it, I will HAVE to post it here, otherwise you'll never believe me!

I like Griff's because they keep it simple (and SO affordable). You come in. You place your order, You get a number. Since there are no Griff's in the town where I live, I have to go to the edge of Fort Worth, in order to partake of their delicious food. What makes their hamburgers great (to me, anyway) is that they toast the bun, the meat is good and when they put onions on your hamburger, they are finely chopped. I've never been a big onion fan, but as of late, I can tolerate them in small quantities (pizza, salad, etc.) Onions MAKE a Griff's hamburger complete!

I also really love their logo and slogan "Quality Food. Speedy Service." Very retro. I took more pictures, but they weren't that great. One did come out, though, but I will be posting about it at a later date. It's of a family that came in (and subsequently left, because they had to wait in line too long; the place is always packed). They were proof that inbreeding is alive and kicking in the ol' U.S. of A. Yeesh! I'm talkin' one chromosome away from pinhead land. And, naturally, they felt compelled to multiply like rabbits (thus their litter of 5). But, we'll talk about that at a later date.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Low Prices, Bad Hairdos & Slurpees

Suffering from insomnia, I recently made a visit to one of the few places around here that is open 24 hours: Sprawl Walmart. On the plus side, they had some fun, colorful stuff in their Halloween dept. On the down side, apparently someone didn't get the memo on "rolling back prices."

Later that day I dropped in on our new Best Buy. Pretty store. Shitty selection. And the worst part of all: New employees. They're the worst. So goddamn upbeat and faux helpful (no wonder they didn't hire me). No, "Debbie" I don't need any help, but thanks for, I'm not interested in learning how I can rent movies online...uh, no I'm not looking for a DVD/CD rack...yes, I've seen the circular. Shouldn't you be unpacking some Nelly and/or Usher CDs or something?

My next stop was the post office, where I encountered this wet blanket. She was one of those job inspector-types (thus the fear-inducing clipboard-o-doom!). I normally would have revered her bitchiness, but she had way too much to say for a fuckin' pencilmonkey. I've been going to this post office for years and everyone that works there is as nice as can be (except that one new woman who's a total package Nazi) and knows their shit. However, on this day Chubby Checker here (AKA Mrs. D.J. Conner), had to question every little thing the clerk was doing and/or comment on how it COULD have been done or how she's seen it done before in the past and/or how Nostradamus predicted it would be done, etc. Jesus Christ, beat it already, Tupperware!

While pulling out of the post office parking lot (15 "suggestions/observations" later), I noticed that I was running low on gas. I went to the nearby Shamrock station and here's what I paid for ONE tank of gas. I hadn't even filled up the second tank yet! Goddamn! I could have done so many more things with that money. Geez

For example...

Onto 7-11, where I purchased a delicious cherry Slurpee (I am a Slurpee FIEND!) and 2 Monterey Chicken Taquitos (can you say Heaven?). I always like 7-11 because it's one of the few things that never seems to change. It's a pop culture staple.

And last, but certainly not least, the last 4 pictures: (from left to right) [1] I saw these so-called "American Hero" dolls at the gas station. I couldn't resist taking a picture of them. Living in Texas, naturally the John Kerry dolls just happened to be pushed to the back. Lol! And as far as the the display saying that the dolls "sing and dance," how apropos. We've been seeing that ever since "Operation Iraqi Freedom" began. [2] I would never make a good photojournalist, because I am not always at the ready with my damn camera, when I wish I was! Totally had an opportunity to get a picture of this guy's face (so cute), but missed it because I had to fumble with the camera. This was the best I could do. [3] I love this gnarly old tree outside the post office. Had to take a picture of it. [4] It rained today, so I took a picture of it, from my backyard. As you can see, fall hasn't arrived just yet, dammit!

*Multiple posts today, so don't forget to scroll down!

Terri Is the Winner of My Halloween Giveaway!

Just a quick update on who (singular, since no one else entered) won my Halloween Giveaway. Congratulations go out to Terri who answered my question (Name 3 of the 11 celebrities who appeared on the The Paul Lynde Halloween Special of 1976.) correctly with:

1. Margaret Hamilton
2. Florence Henderson

With Tim Conway thrown in for good measure, she nailed it! I also would have accepted: Billie Hayes, Roz Kelly (New Year's Evil, anyone?) and Betty White (which should perk up Dave's ears over at Blogography, if he's listening. He's just too damn cute! He would have to be straight... dang.)

Terri's video of choice was I Was A Teenage Frankenstein, which I am happy to report was mailed promptly yesterday morning and should be arriving in time to watch on Halloween night! Spooktacular!

Let me know if any of you would be interested in future giveaways. It's just an idea I've been tossing around, but I was thinking in the future (if enough are interested) I could charge $1 (via PayPal) per entry (to help cover shipping). The questions wouldn't be too bananas obscure and you could win kitschtacular books, movies, toys, etc. Lemme know and congratulations again to Terri-jo ;)

National Dental Hygiene Month is Almost Over: FREE Reach Dental Flossers Still Available

Back in early September, I posted a blog entry about 6 of my favorite things, one of them being the Reach™ Daily Flosser. Later, I also posted how you can get a FREE Daily Flosser just by submitting your name and address (not too shabby, considering they cost around $3-4: depending on where you get 'em). Well, I (along with a few other fellow bloggers) am happy to report I received mine last week. I got a blue one! My point is, you can STILL get one. If you don't want to do it over the Internet, you can call: 1-800-641-7055.


Saw this in the newspaper yesterday. Bizarro is one of my favorite comics, next to Ballard Street and Get Fuzzy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Halloween Week TV Schedule Uploaded

Hey all you crazy kids out there in BlogLand! As you know, Halloween is just around the corner, so with that in mind, I've taken it upon myself to create a TV listing of all the great Halloween goodies that will be on TV all this week. The schedule begins today at 6PM and goes through Sunday, October 31st. Whether you're a cartoon fan, classic horror movies, slashers, true ghost stories or whatever, there's something there for everyone. Be sure to check your local listings for time and channel. All times listed are CST (where I live, natch).

Tonight at 7PM is It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on ABC. If you miss that one, the Great Pumpkin won't rise outta the pumpkin patch and bring you toys! Click here to get the schedule. Feel free to print it out and keep it by the ol' remote control.

P.s. More Halloween blogging coming tomorrow!

Blah-gs Part II: I'm Outta There If...

• If I get a pop up ad when I go to your blog, I'm outta there
• If your blog plays music, I'm outta there
• If I have to scroll sideways, I'm outta there
• If I need a "plug-in" to view your blog, I'm outta there
• If your template background is animated and unnaturally complicated, I'm outta there
• If you're another bitter, angry Republican with personal issues, I'm outta there
• If your blog looks like Anne Geddes' wet dream, I'm outta there
• If your blog is nothing more than an infomerical for your product, service and/or motivational speaking skillz, I'm outta there
• If you type in some kind of abbreviated slang or are obsessive with using striked text, I'm outta there. Example: "
Last nite wanted to take pillow frm my bed de.. den in a hurry i knocked the back of my head on the top railing.. veri pain sia.. nearly faint lor.. den todae got small small bump
" Aaaiiiggghh!
• If your blog is so precious that I go into a diabetic coma just looking it, I'm outta there
• If your last 6 posts were results of online quizzes that tell me "You are....," I'm outta there
• If you're a single mom, disease survivor, born-again Christian, recovering anything with a will of iron and/or on a journey of self-discovery, I'm SO outta there
• If Jesus is your co-pilot and your blog is a round trip ticket to Scripture Land, I'm outta there
• If I immediately see techno babble and/or need a degree in engineering or astro physics to decipher your blog, I'm outta there
• If your blog is overtly gothalicious and filled with teen angst poetry, I'm outta there
• If you have enough animated gifs and blinking doohickeys to induce an epileptic seizure, I'm outta there
• If your blog is nothing more than a photographic shrine to yourself, I'm outta there... unless you're really cute, then I may stick around out of sheer voyeurism. Nobody's perfect.

Monday, October 25, 2004

The Good, the Bad and the Blah-g

Since I've joined BlogExplosion, I've been doing a lot of surfing of blogs via their point system (I love to use em' in conjunction with the banners that promote my blog). I've "blogmarked" plenty of good blogs and I've also seen WAY too many bad blogs. "Bad" by my standards, that is. Everyone has their own pain threshold.

The two most overwhelming themes that I've noticed have been [1] Angry Republicans and [2] Women with children. Since I just don't get that worked up over politics, I can't really understand why someone would choose to write solely about something as lackluster as politics. I guess the same could be said for my blog and why I write about utter nonsense. I guess it all boils down to what you enjoy, which is sort of my point: Where's the joy? Yeah, I know that sounds kinda fruity and verges on the Pollyanna-ish, but it's a valid question. I enjoy my blog because it's fun, not because I'm out to convert someone to my way of thinking. Relax that sphincter, people!

The majority of the pro-Bush blogs come across really angry and bitter, with absolutely no tolerance for any opinion other than their own (and people wonder how stereotypes are born). The things they find "outrageous" and/or "unethical" is a never ending source of amusement for me. Most of the political/religious rhetoric is the same old schtick we've all been hearing for years, which just goes to prove that bread's not the only thing that goes stale. Some people will be forever ignorant.

Personally, I don't really have any interest in how people vote and/or their opinions on relative things like politics or religion. Since I don't work on commission, I'm also not all that interested in "converting" anyone and/or "enlightening" strangers. I feel the same way about politics as I do religion: Don't try to convert me and I won't pretend you don't exist. It's futile to argue with me, 'cause I'll just leave you there to be enchanted by the sound of your own voice. Life's too short to waste it arguing. I can be just as stubborn as the next person.

I actually like the fact that some of the people whose blogs I enjoy reading, have links to mine (and vice versa) DON'T share my opinions. What differs between them and the angry folks out there is they can accept/tolerate, the fact that we're different. Period. No drama. No big production. I subscribe to the "If you don't like it, don't look at it"-theory.

Don't get me wrong, for every bad blog there's a good one (karma's like that). I have at least 20 blogs bookmarked over at BlogExplosion. I just wish I could get their damn URLS, so I could add them to my Blogs list. One of the few drawbacks to BlogExplosion.

My point is, there are some bad blogs out there and there are some good blogs out there. I've compiled elements of some of the ones that made me laugh (unintentionally, I'm sure), cringe (at the ignorance/drama) and roll my eyes. One of the funniest ones was a "conservative teenager" blog. Yeesh! I guess the growth spurt didn't include his psyche. Oh well, at least his testicles finally dropped. Don't bother asking me for the URLS and/or the blog's names, I've already wiped my memory of them. Anyway, I'm sharing them with you, here at My So-Called Strife. Think of it as a public service. And be sure and tune in tomorrow for Part 2 of today's blog rant. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Possum Passion

Okay, I finally got to sleep around 7AM (insomnia) and I'd no longer been asleep maybe 2 hours before some motherfucker rang the doorbell! I'll give you three guesses who it was: [1] Ed McMahon, [2] Peg Boggs, Avon lady or [3] A Jehovah's Witness. Yep, if you guessed #3, you guessed correctly. Argh! As I've blogged before, they seem to love me. However, I was very disturbed that today they didn't leave me my current issue of Awake! Magazine. Dang.

While I was asleep, I had the most fucked up dream. I was outside this house (supposedly where I lived) and couldn't get the people inside (whoever they were) to unlock the door. I was getting antsy because there was a black Astrovan (with completely blacked-out windows) in the driveway around the corner of the house, that had just pulled up and the driver had gotten out to open the garage door (there was a shadowy figure sitting in the passenger's seat) and I had to get inside the house before they saw me!

So, just like a scene out of Halloween, I'm desperately ringing the doorbell and trying to get someone to open the door for me and just as the person/people in the Astrovan were rounding the corner of the house, the door opened and I ran inside.

Once inside, there was a foyer with another door that lead into the house. I started to open that door when I noticed a possum dressed like Helen Slater from The Legend of Billie Jean. As I started to push him aside with my foot, he said "Is that how you treat someone who just let you in?" After the obligatory "You can talk?" we went on to discuss life and eventually fell in love.

I have no idea what brought this on, but it's obviously the product of a warped mind. Dream analysis, anyone?

Recent Updates...

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I have recently made the following additions/updates:

• 'Blogroll' Button Added (located at the top of the buttons in left-hand column)
• 9 New Blog Links
• 100 Things About Me (button located in left-hand column)
• 1 New 'Art' Link
• 1 New 'Erotica' Link
• 2 New 'Politics' Links
• 4 New 'Movies & Television' Links
• 4 New 'Reference' Links
• 3 New 'Spooky Stuff' Links

Have fun!

-Kirk :)

The Post Office of Tomorrow: A Tale of Terror

Once upon a time there was a boy who couldn't sleep. And since he couldn't sleep, he thought to himself "I will go to the post office and check my post office box and see if I have any mail." So, late, late one night as he gathered his car keys (yes, he could drive. He was a very special little boy, now shut up dammit!) and p.o. box keys and was about to pull out of the driveway, he noticed that there was a light lit up on his dashboard that said "I don't run on kisses and magic, asshole! Put some oil in me, ya slob!" Or perhaps it just had a picture of a little oil can that indicated the car needed oil. Either way, he turned on the headlights and popped the hood so that he could put oil in the car before heading off to the spoooooky post office. As he was putting oil in the car, the wind blew and the trees rustled. As the oil emptied into the oil receptacle, he gazed under the hood thinking "Wow. It's dirty in there. (he had OCD)" Then he began to flashback on images from all the horror movies he'd seen where someone got killed while working under the hood of their vehicle: Madman, Shadows Run Black, Friday The 13 Part 5: The New Beginning, Deadly Intruder, and such. He spooked himself and looked around nervously. Just then the last bit of motor oil glugged out of the bottle and he quickly screwed on the cap and closed the hood with a THUD!

Once safely in his car, doors locked, seatbelt on, the boy backed out of the driveway, into the street, and started on his way towards the spoooooky post office. Once there, he parked closest to the entrance that was nearest to his p.o. box. The post office had been remodeled 4 years earlier and was very beautiful and secluded. As he walked through its' doors, he looked around the labyrinth of p.o. boxes and tabletops and thought to himself "This would so make a good place to make out with someone. Oh the sexy possibilities! (he's such a perv)" Reminding himself that this wasn't an episode of Red Shoe Diaries, he made his way to his p.o. box. Upon opening the p.o. box, he gasped in horror at its' contents: A church newsletter from his parent's church (eek!), an expired Tuesday Morning circular (ack!) and a belated birthday present of $5 off a carton of cigarettes from Marlboro (cough!). The horrors! After closing the p.o. box door, he thought to himself "I'm gonna go see if they have that Priority Mail boxes display out, so I can pick up a few boxes while I'm here." As he walked towards the front of the building, the shuffling of his sinister shoes (they're old and brown) echoed throughout the building, reminding him of how alone he truly was. He started thinking about horror movies again. Horror movies with chases through corridors: Prom Night, Cherry Falls, Slumber Party Massacre. What would he do if he was cornered and forced to flee? He hated to flee. He'd much rather skedaddle. While he tossed around the various scenarios, he reached the Priority Mail box display and grabbed a couple of boxes (he had things to ship the next week). On his way back he passed the new automated postal center than had recently been installed a few weeks ago. It suddenly lit up and came to life yelling, very loudly "HELLO! WELCOME TO THE AUTOMATED POSTAL CENTER!!" That's the moment when he jumped out of his skin, like a cat who'd gotten his tail stepped on! He checked his pants for signs of a lapse in toilet training skills, but all was as it should be. He quickly exited the building, leaving the evil machine talking about stamps or such, got into his car and left for home. He would never forget that night of terror at The Post Office of Tomorrow.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Fat Albert on the Big Screen

Hey! Hey! Hey! It's Fat Albert... the movie! The last time I heard about this movie, there was trouble on the set between creator Bill Cosby and then director, Forest Whitaker who were having "creative differences," which ended with Forest walking off the project. Well, while watching upcoming movie trailers over at the other day, I got to see a trailer for the Fat Albert movie. Even though I can't STAND Kenan Thompson, the cast and movie looks great. Fun, very much like the premise of The Brady Bunch Movie. Having loved the Fat Albert cartoon growing up, I'll most-likely see the movie. Nostalgia being what it is, I'd gamble to say the movie's going to be a huge hit.

I Took a Lickin' From a Chicken

Do you like crust? How about 7 dollars worth of crust? Then purchase a bag of Tyson Popcorn Chicken Bites. They should change their product's name to "Popcorn Chicken Crust." Kentucky Fried Chicken may do chicken right, but Tyson apparently has cornered the market on crust, 'cause that's exactly what I got for my $7. Maybe 30 nuggets and the rest were crust nuggets. Money well spent... not!

What Classic Movie Are You Quiz Results

The Political Dr. Seuss

At the risk of putting possible new readers to sleep, I normally try to distance myself from the whole politics "thang." It's like Charles Durning said in one of my favorite holiday films, Home For The Holidays: "Opinions are like assholes: Everybody has one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks." So eloquently put. However, judging from reading a lot of other people's blogs lately, it seems I'm not the only one who's breaching the topic lately.

With that said, I just wanted to bring to anyone's attention who's interested, an upcoming special I saw advertise on PBS, while watching the presidential debate a few weeks ago. On Tuesday, October 26, PBS will be airing a documentary entitled The Political Dr. Seuss (check your local listings for time and channel). For those who didn't know (me included), early in Dr. Seuss' career (1940's), he did a stint as a political editorial cartoonist. Being the pop culture fan that I am, I thought the show looked interesting. "Fun is good."

Halloween Giveaway

As you know, Halloween is just around the corner. And as you also know, it's my favorite time of year. With that said, I will be giving away (FOC) 3 spooky movies, just in time for Halloween. [1] I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (VHS), [2] Magic (VHS) and [3] Hocus Pocus (VHS). All Videos are previously-viewed, but play fine. How do you win 'em? Well, I'm gonna tell ya.

In order to win a movie, just be one of the first people to answer my question correctly, via the "comments" feature! Make sure you include 1) Your e-mail address and 2) Your 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice of which movie you'd like to receive. I'll notify the winners via e-mail. I'd prefer regular readers of my blog to enter, but if ya promise to link me, we'll call it even.

Contest ends Monday or when the first three people answer the question correctly. Videos will be mailed on Monday so that you can hopefully get them in time for Halloween!

Name 3 of the 11 celebrities who appeared on the The Paul Lynde Halloween Special of 1976.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Jiggity Jog

My parents live in a small town about an hour and a half away. Even though we do not live very far away from each other, I rarely go home anymore. It depresses me too much. However, I had to go pick some things up, so I bit the bullet and got in the car. While I was there, I paid a visit to my favorite 'junk store.' It's not pretty, but it's full of potential "treasures." I bought records mostly. I'll be showing them to you next week.

My parents and I had lunch at THE best fast food taco place on the planet: Taco Casa. Their ingredients are SO fresh (plus they pack on plenty of freshly-shredded cheese!). We were all laughing because their hot sauce was so hot that all out lips were on fire. It's a delicious pain, though. Anyhoo, here's what I saw during my trip:

[1] On my way
[2] Someone's shot the president cat! She's so silly.
[3] 78RPM record heaven!
[4/5] Records I left behind
[6] Books & records
[7] Paperback book rack
[8] Creepy-weirdo dummies
[9] A trunk full of someone else's memories
[10] Sigh... Warren Beatty. Dreamy!
[11] Ms. Hathaway, er, I mean the woman who waited on us at Taco Casa. She asked me if my father was my grandfather. I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered. Or just baffled.
[12] Mmmmm! Hot sauce! Tastes like burning!
[13] My mom has a green thumb
[14] The cat hated to see me leave. Whatta ham.
[15] Heidi Ho Records label

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Scratchin' That Kitsch Itch

I love eBay. With that said, I'm going to show you my most recent eBay acquisitions (pictured clockwise).

My most recent purchase was a few days ago: 1942's Cat People. It's such a beautiful film, but then I'm a sucker for movies from from the 30's and 40's. A lot of the DVDs I've purchased, I bought from eBay seller popcornmatinee. He sells out-of-print classic horror movies, which are not otherwise available on DVD. His originals must be on laser disc, because the prints look REALLY great. High quality. The DVDs come in their own plastic keepcases, complete with artwork. Added bonus: every purchase comes with a complimentary bag of microwave popcorn (thus the name "popcornmatinee") In addition, his prices are really fair ($12 + shipping), compared to other DVD-Rs that I have bought in the past that cost twice as much and were either made on inferior DVD-Rs or from poor quality originals. So, check out his auctions and pick up a few in time for Halloween! I highly recommend the rare Burn Witch Burn!

Mark of The Vampire DVD-R
• 1960 Mr. America Magazine
• 1962 Strength & Health Magazine
I Was A Teenage Frankenstein DVD-R
• Vintage Strongman Liquor Decanter
• Vintage Hawaiian Punch Radio
Burn Witch Burn DVD-R
• Vintage Reproduction Jointed Halloween Card
Borden's Elsie's Hostess Recipe Book
• 3 Issues of Jay Stephen's Atomic City Comics

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


I had lunch at my favorite BBQ spot today: David's BBQ. David's has been in business for over 75 years! It's a family thing. To be honest, and much to the chagrin of my fellow Texans, I was never much of a BBQ fan. I can sum up the reason why in one word: gristle. Ack! I have this major issue with food and texture, thus my swearing off of my mom's chili, chicken nuggets from anywhere but Chick-Fil-A and BBQ in general. A strategically-placed piece of gristle or weirdo meat by-product can ruin the rest of my meal. And before you get all sassy and say "This from a guy who just endorsed a SPAM-based recipe?" That's different. SPAM and potted meat have succeeded in making their products consistent in their textures. It's all about texture, baby. Nothing can make me kack like a cat with a hairball, faster than hitting a piece of sqagooshie (not a real word, yet descriptive) piece of gristle.

My point is, I initially wasn't a big BBQ fan, until I started eating at David's. I love their chopped beef sandwich, turkey sandwich (to DIE for, seriously) and/or the occasional sausage sandwich. Besides having generous portions, so generous, in fact, that you can make TWO sandwiches from the serving of one sandwich (that's why, as a rule, I always order an extra bun), David's consistently has good quality meat, plus their BBQ sauce is outta this world. Nothing else like it. Of course, nothing's perfect, so I do have my own little neurotic ritual I practice when ordering the chopped beef sandwich: When separating the meat from one sandwich to make another (thus the extra bun), I make an effort to be a good Gristle Scout. Sure, there's no patches or meetings, but we Gristle Scouts are still very dedicated to the annihilation of gristle. Once I've picked out the occasional crafty piece, my meal consumption is underway!

I like David's BBQ for lots of reasons, besides the food itself: [1] The fact that it's personally owned/ran. Not impersonal like so many chain restaurants today. No need to "go through the corporate office" if some school kid wants to post a flyer in the window promoting the local softball team. [2] The customers/atmosphere is very small townish and therefore very cocoonish and understated. Nothing fancy schmancy. Just the bare essentials. Too many cooks spoil the broth. KISS* (*Keep It Simple, Stupid), that's my motto. [3] All the TONS of framed pictures autographed by local and Hollywood celebrities who have eaten there. [4] I get full for $6.35 (ice tea, 2 sandwiches (from 1 portion), french fries (or onion rings/okra), all the pickle chips I can eat at the the "fixins" bar (onion slices, banana peppers, pickle chips, red beans, coleslaw, etc.) and the FREE self-serve ice cream cone machine! Swell!

Eat Your Heart Out Heloise!

Today's blog is going to be my answer to Hints From Heloise. Chock full of recipe ideas, handy tips and knowledge that I've stumbled across over the years.

Since I collect older books and "women's" magazines (think Family Circle, Good Housekeeping and Woman's Day), circa 50's-70's, I am a virtual fountain of useless knowledge when it comes to recipes, product advertising and kitsch in general. As some of you may remember, I bought some books a while back (*see blog entry: Retro Rummage Retrieval" in the September 22 archives) at various rummage sales in the area. And, as you may remember I mentioned that you could count on hearing more about some of the books' contents at a later date. Well, now is later. Today, I pass that knowledge on to you, Grasshopper. Use it in good health.

First up are some helpful hints and information, some of which you may deem common sense, or if you're like me, smack your head (not too hard, I want you to remain conscious so you can finish reading all of today's blog entry) and say to yourself "Why didn't I think of that?!"

Source: Questions Children Ask © 1965
If you use a sprinkling-style watering can to pour the water into your fishbowl, when changing the water, you will get more air into the water. Having been a goldfish owner for years, I found this information very interesting.

The monkey wrench gets its' name from the man who first made one, Charles Monke. At first it was called the Monke wrench, but later became the monkey wrench.

Source: Heloise's Housekeeping Hints © 1966
If you put sugar in a big kitchen salt shaker, it's easier to use. I use this idea a lot, especially when I make cinnamon toast or oatmeal. It's also helpful when my parents come over, 'cause they drink coffee like it's going out of style. Salt shakers are SO inexpensive now, there's no reason not to try this.
An empty tuna fish can, from which the top and bottom have been removed carefully, makes a wonderful gadget for poaching eggs. Place can-ring in skillet with water and drop egg in center.

And you thought anal retentiveness began with Martha Stewart. Au contraire, mon frere! Here's one that I thought was so so kooky (this wasn't the only one), I had to include it. Don't get me wrong, I love my books, but who has this kind of time? Cut tinfoil about three inches wider than the thickness of the book. Then open the back of the book, and cover the pages of the book with it. Fold it inside the two book covers. Close the overlapping edges neatly as if it were a package. When you read the book, you can fold the foil neatly and use it as a bookmark.

From Me:
• Don't have any WD-40, but have a squeaky door? In a pinch, apply a tiny amount of liquid soap to the hinge. It'll stop the squeak!

• In need of some quickie, colorful magnets? Purchase a package of round magnets (roughly 3/4cm in diameter) at your local hardware store and hot glue one of them inside an old lid from your favorite two-liter drink. The lids come in all colors (I have red, lime green, yellow and orange on my fridge), depending on what you like to drink. Easy, inexpensive AND practical!

• And the piece de resistance: Ever get charly horses? Well, I do, every once in a blue moon. And let me tell ya, there must have been a blue moon out yesterday, 'cause I got one in my calf. Aaaiiggh! I used to be in excrutiating pain for what seemed like an eternity, UNTIL I started practicing this little remedy: Next time you get a charly horse, pinch (pretty hard, but don't get crazy) the area right beneath your nose. The top of that little indention between your nose and mouth. Keep doing this until the charly horse subsides (usually within seconds).
It may sound silly, but I swear to you it works. When my charly horse kicked in yesterday, I applied this method and saved myself a lot of rolling around, screaming and clutching my calf. Trust me, you'll thank me later!

Now for a few simple (my favorite kind) recipes. However, before I start, a bit of trivia you might find interesting. As you know there's a product named SPAM. And you've probably heard of it's inferior cousin, Treet. BUT, did you know there was once a version called BIF? Lol! Seriously. I've included a scan of the original magazine ad.

Source: The Imagination Cookbook from Dorito Brand Tortilla Chips © 1978
Turkey Cranberry Nachos
Ingredients: 1 large bag of toasted corn Doritos tortilla chips
4 ounces sliced, smoked turkey
1 8 ounce package of cream cheese
1 can cranberry jelly
Directions: Spread each chip with cheese. Top with turkey. Bake at 350ºF for 5-10 minutes. When ready to serve top each nacho with a teaspoonful of cranberry jelly. Serve hot. Makes approximately 30 nachos.
Comments: Yes, these are as great as they sound. I made some once for a Halloween party and was nearly trampled to death.

Source: Family Circle © 1966
Crusty SPAMbake
Ingredients: 1/2 cup Kellogg's Corn Flakes crushed into crumbs
2 tablespoons of brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1 12-ounce can of SPAM
2 tablespoons of prepared mustard
Pineapple slices
Melted Butter
Directions: Combine corn flake crumbs, brown sugar and cloves. Cut SPAM crosswise into eight slices. Spread both sides of slices with mustard, then coat generously with a flavor crust of corn flake crumbs mixture. Place SPAM and pineapple slices individually in a foil-lined shallow baking pan: do not crowd. Brush pineapple slices with butter. Bake in moderate oven (350ºF) 20 minutes. When serving place a SPAM slice on each pineapple slice. Yield: 4 servings of 2 slices each.
Comments: One, I realize the recipe's name could be better, but trust me, the end product tastes great. And two, I realize some of you out there may not like SPAM, some people don't. However, I have fond memories of being 'turned onto' SPAM by my babysitter, Doshie. I made this for one of my friends who LOVES SPAM and they flipped their lid.

Source: Better Homes and Gardens Junior Cook Book © 1963
Fancy Ice-Cube Coolers
To make these fancy coolers, freeze a red or green cherry in each of the ice cubes in an ice-cube tray. Or, try a pineapple chunk, a lime slice, or a perfect strawberry. First, wait until the ice has started to form around the sides and bottoms of the cubes and then add the fruit of your choice. This keeps the fruit centered in the cubes. Use the ice-cube coolers when you serve your favorite beverage.

Comments: I like to put them in a Coke or some lemonade or limeade. I sometimes even use the juice from the jar of cherries, instead of water! The cubes are really great for small get togethers and/or when you want to pamper yourself. "Pamper yourself." Geez, that sounded fruity. My apologies.

From Me:
• For a heartier spaghetti sauce, grate a handful of pre-packaged frozen meatballs into a hot skillet and brown before adding your sauce.

• Here's a quick recipe for the dip I make for EVERY party I've had in the last 9 years. It' a HUGE hit. The one time I didn't make it, there was a revolt. Not pretty. I think I originally found the recipe on a package of Philadelphia Cream Cheese:

Ingredients: 1 8 ounce pkg cream cheese
1 jar of picante sauce (You choose heat. I use Mild, since when I used Hot, people cried: 1) Because the heat was so intense and 2) Though the pain was intense, they couldn't stop eating the dip)

1 can of bean dip
Directions: Heat all three contents until smooth. Remove from heat and serve with tortilla chips. I use an old mini crock pot thingy from the 70's, when I make this dip, since it sits on a little hotplate-style base and keep the dip perpetually warm. However, I'm sure a pan would be just fine. Just don't scorch it.
• Things that taste nice, sprinkled on top of tomato soup:
- Blue corn chips
- Sour cream
- Garlic-flavored melba toast
- White cheddar popcorn and/or fresh air-popped popcorn (the microwave kind is too buttery)
- Shredded monterey jack cheese
- A handful of steamed rice
- Some freshly snipped chives

Johnny Knoxville is Super Dreamy

As you know, I am a Johnny Knoxville freak! Forget Suger Crisp, I can't get enough Johnny Knoxville. Thus today's random photo post. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

And the Card Attached Would Say...

Thank you, for being a friend! A few days ago I "discovered" a site called Technorati, which is a search engine for blogs. All you do is copy/paste in your blog's URL and it magically pulls up anyone who has linked to your blog! How cool is THAT? Well, when I typed in my URL I discovered that some people had linked to me, and I had no idea! You crazy kids! You guys gotta tell me these things! Naturally, I reciprocated. I just wanted to say 'thank you' to everyone who has decided to link to my blog. It's nice to know someone out there enjoys my so-called trials and tribulations, as well as my love of pop culture. I'm truly flattered. And, you know what the weird thing is? A lot of the people who recently linked me and/or who have told me they enjoyed my blog, I had come across their blogs only minutes earlier while surfing on BlogExplosion, and had "Blogmarked" them! Spooky! So, be sure and let me know if you link me, I'll be more than happy to reciprocate!

If you like what you read today, keep in mind there are TONS of archived blogs that encompass a full spectrum, from CD recommendations, movie reviews, personal photos and more. There's really no rhyme or reason to my entries, just random thoughts and insights that I find fun and/or amusing, so be sure and check em' out! Also, I recently added a few buttons that promote my blog (located in the left column), for those who are interested. Oh! I almost forgot. On occasion I post more than once a day, so make sure you scroll around. So, in short, thanks again for checking out my blog, bookmarking it and/or commenting. It's always appreciated.

-Kirk :)

If Lovin' Puppets is Wrong, I Don't Wanna be Right

God help me. I just lusted after a puppet. Yes, it's sad, but true. Being the lazy person I am, I never remember/make the effort to label my VHS tapes when I record something, so therefore each time I pop one in the ol' VCR, it's like playing the lottery. Sometimes I "win" and either have enough tape to record something OR the something that's already on the tape is something good. But I digress. I popped in a tape yesterday and it had an episode of Crank Yankers on it, in which one diabolical puppet continues to prank call a woman named Lois Lane, grilling her as to the whereabouts of Superman. As the skit comes to an end, a shirtless, yet be-caped {?} puppet of Superman sits up in bed. My first thoughts: Yowsa! Nice pecs! "Nice pecs." SIGH. Sad, isn't it?

While we're on the subject of lust, Sixteen Candles was on AMC last night. Michael Schoefling is the epitome of beautiful, be it by 80's standards or any other. I could relate to Molly Ringwald's character: "The Donger's here 5 hours and he's got somebody, I live here my whole life and I'm like a disease." That's me. I've had friends over the years who have had THE worst taste in men, stayed in dysfunctional/abusive relationships and/or fucked everything under the sun with absolutely no consequences. Yet, I can't find someone to talk to who doesn't hover 4 inches off the ground or isn't a fuckmonster. What's up with that? I'm a good person. I have my merits. I'm trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean. Well, okay...maybe not cheerful, but still, surely I'm a viable option over some of the people I've seen coupled up and making out in the lines at Six Flags. Perhaps if I actually interacted with people or went where they gather. That may be the key. On second thought, that involves a lot of effort on my part: smiling, feigning interest, disposable income. Eh, I'm not so sure now. As jaded as it may sound, I think I want a "boyfriend" like I want a pet; when I'm bored, sad or lonely. What a great basis for a relationship, huh? Maybe that's it, maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I need to lower my standards. Damn me and my craving for human contact!

Sometimes when I get like this, I'll go browse through the local online personals over at Yahoo! or one of the other handful of personals sites that I have forgotten I signed up with. I even get e-mail "updates" of my latest matches from places I don't even remember signing up with to begin with. But, as depressing as my lack of social life can be sometimes, the most depressing thing is coming across the pictures of people who ARE dating or who ARE in relationships. You know, those couples I refer to as the "Scooby-Doo Mystery" couples. See that trio of pictures above? You know what those people have in common? No, not inbreeding. They're all in relationships. Yeah, you heard me; Pippi, Short Round and the Incredibly Gay Crow all have dates on weekends and major holidays. Go figure.

Monday, October 18, 2004

I Voted Today

Today was the first day for early voting in my area, so I voted today. I didn't have to wait in line too long and it was interesting overhearing people's conversations and observing. It may sound strange, but every time I have gone to vote, including today, I'm always pleasantly surprised how nice/helpful people are. I was sandwiched between a black woman and a white woman and we all ended up discussing who had the best hamburgers, steaks and BBQ in town. Lol! It was kinda fun, dare I say refreshing? There was an elderly couple behind me that noticed me reading the "How To" poster on the wall, showing how to use the electronic ballot. Since this was my first year to use it, I was kinda nervous about fucking things up. She reassured me it was easy as pie, while her husband (compete with handkerchief and overalls) explained to me exactly how you use it. It was sweet.

As I looked around the elementary school gymnasium, the woman in front of me pointed out the irony of the backdrop on the stage, whose curtains were opened. It was a huge mural that appeared to have been painted by kids, that depicted the top portion of the planet earth, with children standing on its' edge, holding hands. The words above it said "Peace On Earth." We briefly touched on how awful it was that the U.S. was at war right now, and then went back to waiting quietly in line. Speaking of, the people in line covered the whole spectrum: Nervous first time voters, elderly couples, adult children with their feeble parents (i.e. walkers, canes, etc.), black people, white people, Hispanic people, men, women, I even saw a leprechaun! Okay, not really, just trying to cut the syrupy sweetness of this blog entry. My point is this: It feels good to be part of democracy. It may sound corny, but it gave me a good feeling knowing that I was making an effort to vote. I have friends who don't for whatever excuse, and sometimes I wish they could feel the same way I do. Voting: It's a good thing.

As you can see from today's collage of photos, the issue of whether or not the Dallas Cowboys build their new 650 million-dollar stadium (with retractable roof) here, where I live, is a big issue this year. The yellow flyer you see was handed to me as I was going inside. Which reminds me: The whole time I was waiting in line, I was holding my voter registration card and this flyer. When I got up to the voting booth area, I was told, quite excitedly I might add, that I wasn't permitted to have that (the flyer) out and to please put it away. Hey, bite me Methuselah! I didn't know, okay. So lose the attitude and the knitted brow, already. I complied, but thought it was retarded nonetheless. Also, I took a picture of some of the Halloween art that lined the school halls. It was nice to see that Halloween hasn't been completely outlawed here in Texas... yet. My favorite is the 3rd one from the left. It looks like what I'd think mine would look like if I were making one! BTW, before I forget, I've scanned some vintage voting clipart for those who are interested. Feel free to download some and use them on your blog, livejournal or wherever you like.

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