Blah-gs Part II: I'm Outta There If...
• If your blog plays music, I'm outta there
• If I have to scroll sideways, I'm outta there
• If I need a "plug-in" to view your blog, I'm outta there
• If your template background is animated and unnaturally complicated, I'm outta there
• If you're another bitter, angry Republican with personal issues, I'm outta there
• If your blog looks like Anne Geddes' wet dream, I'm outta there
• If your blog is nothing more than an infomerical for your product, service and/or motivational speaking skillz, I'm outta there
• If you type in some kind of abbreviated slang or are obsessive with using
Last nite wanted to take pillow frm my bed de.. den in a hurry i knocked the back of my head on the top railing.. veri pain sia.. nearly faint lor.. den todae got small small bump" Aaaiiiggghh!
• If your blog is so precious that I go into a diabetic coma just looking it, I'm outta there
• If your last 6 posts were results of online quizzes that tell me "You are....," I'm outta there
• If you're a single mom, disease survivor, born-again Christian, recovering anything with a will of iron and/or on a journey of self-discovery, I'm SO outta there
• If Jesus is your co-pilot and your blog is a round trip ticket to Scripture Land, I'm outta there
• If I immediately see techno babble and/or need a degree in engineering or astro physics to decipher your blog, I'm outta there
• If your blog is overtly gothalicious and filled with teen angst poetry, I'm outta there
• If you have enough animated gifs and blinking doohickeys to induce an epileptic seizure, I'm outta there
• If your blog is nothing more than a photographic shrine to yourself, I'm outta there... unless you're really cute, then I may stick around out of sheer voyeurism. Nobody's perfect.
posted by Kirkkitsch @ 6:00 AM
16 Comments:
So that's why you haven't been by lately? Too many quizzes? I'm a pundit blogger, by the way. :)
LMAO. I agree with about 99% of this. Does that make me a horrible person? Oh well.
I'll be back to read more.
Gee, Kirk, I hope Cyber Chocolate isn't a problem. Depending on the monitor and if I adjust the width of the body to allow for long referral URLs in the sidebar, etc, sometimes, horizontal scrolling is necessary. And I try to not do too many quizzes, but I'm a bit addicted to them. They're a quick and easy and fun way to get graphics into journals. heh.
Then again, if you're not reading Cyber Chocolate, nevermind. ;)
a really cheeky way to put it. that made me laugh, kirk.
Ha Ha Stacy. Nooooo. I make a concerted effort to check in and read the first 20 blogs on my list every day. I haven't missed one yet. But, you know what I mean, surely you've come across those blogs that pretty much consist purely of quiz results with absolutely no content. Almost as bad as those that write nothing personal, but instead, resort to relying solely on links and/or other sources.
Besides, I gotta see what the adoptable pet of the day is! I might just find me a kitty, yet!
Ans speaking of being a "pundit blogger," inspired by your quiz results, I thought I'D go take the quiz yesterday... I got the shitball one, though. Apparently I'm a "Link Blogger." WTF? I went back and tried again and got the "Life Blogger" answer, but I'll be honest and post the original one....pleh
-Kirk :)
Hi Eva!
Thanks for droppin' by and thanks for the compliment. I, too love Princess Wild Cow's blog (http://sarafenix.blogspot.com). She's hilarious!
I can see from your statement you've been surfing via BlogExplosion as well, lol! I had no earthly idea that knitting was SO huge right now. It actually makes me want to learn. I dunno why, I just do. Peer pressure, perhaps.
I tried clicking on your name, but I got a "Not Found" error. What's your blog's URL?
-Kirk :)
But CL, what about the Olsen Twins? They were precious-looking children.
...NOT! Like little troll dolls with slightly more manageable hair. Ack!
-Kirk ;)
Hi Cheeky!
Thanks for droppin' in! I'm glad you liked my blog. I like to ramble. :) And to answer your question, of course it makes you a horrible person. That's why I've added your link to my blogs list. Lol! (just kiddin'...about the horrible part, not the link)
I was reading your blog yesterday, since I'd never run across it before while surfing on BlogExplosion. I loved that you used the Frankenweenie pic! I luff Tim Burton! The template looks great! I was cracking up over your dog breath blog. I remember having the same trouble with our cat, when I was growing up. One day my mom walked in the bathroom and there I was... and there was Tom, who looked up at her with a foamy (yet, minty fresh) mouth. She was like "What are you doing?!" And I explained I was "brushing Tom's teeth, 'cause his breff stinks." It's true. Poor kitty. :(
-Kirk :)
Shelly, were you by chance a drama major? lol! No, of course it's not a problem. Believe me, if it was, I wouldn't have linked ya. I'm addicted to the quizzes, too (you should see how many I have in "Draft" form, waiting to be sprung on an unsuspecting blog reader) Like I was tellin' Stacy, it's the people who's blogs consist of 85% quiz results and no original content that bore me.
BTW, love the picture of your skull! Wait, that sounded weird. Well, you know what I mean: The skull Halloween decoration you posted on your blog. Very fun! I love that his mouth actually opens!
-Kirk :)
Thanks transience! It always makes me happy when I can make someone laugh (without taking off my pants) ;)
BTW, I like your animated gif you're using for your profile pic! Is that from a music video? If so, which one?
-Kirk :)
Hiya Kirkkitsch!
Just loved that list! I use the "Next Blog" button often, and (may just be me) I've noticed about 40% polito blogs, 5% "Infomercials", 20% Teenie Juvenile "Hey! This is my Blog" Blogs and some other strange riff raff stuff. Occasionally I hit on some really readable blogs (such as yours), so hitting "Next Blog" repeatedly does shake up some gems from the mire, but otherwise... Yech... What blutwurst (baloney) one finds!
Thanks for the laughs (and the list)!
N. G. Fainswift
hi, kirk! regarding your previous question, it is from a music video. bjork's army of me. =)
Ha! Oh so very true!...my rants on this matter pale into insignificance!
http://kalliope72.blogspot.com/2004/09/tante-lingue.html
http://kalliope72.blogspot.com/2004/10/unashamedly-dorky.html
Hi N.G.!
I'm glad you liked my list. I fear I may have stepped on some toes in the process of posting it, but I'm sure it's nothing a swift kick in the butt won't fix. Lol!
I had to laugh when I read your "Hey! This is my blog!" comment. So true! Lotsa teen angst out there!
BTW, I checked out your blog (http://fainswift2.blogspot.com/2004/10/paris-underground.html). LOVE the Underground Paris virtual tour! Very cool (and like you mentioned, a tad creepy).
Thanks for stoppin' by!
-Kirk :)
Hi Kalliope!
I read your rant about those alien blogs that seem to be written in some kind of Ebonics on crack-language. They give me a headache just trying to decipher them. Only to find out that they were just trying to tell you what they did at school today. Bleah
And speaking of those java pop ups, geez, louise! I came across a blog today (while surfing via BlogExplosion) and some little window popped up warning me that if I knew the blogger not to read his blog, etc. Then when I clicked on "okay" ANOTHER on came up... and another... and another... This went on for what seems like hours (there had to be at least 8 pop ups that I had to click "okay" on before it would even let me get to their blog!). I was so pissed off. Gah!
Thanks for stoppin' by!
-Kirk :)
Hi Heidi!
Thanks for the kind words! I'm glad someone sees where I'm coming from, rather than taking it all too seriously. I'm super excited about the "do not show me this blog again" feature over at BlogExplosion. Too bad it only holds 25 blogs. Lol!
I agree with you that the Dallas Cowboys SHOULD be located in Dallas. DUH! It only makes sense. Besides, I am not rooting for them to build the stadium here, BUT I bet you a foam finger that they do. This town is full of so many WASPs that I'll be shocked if it doesn't pass. I've never even entertained the possibility of it NOT passing. The whole "voting" thing is just a formality if you ask me.
Thanks for droppin' in!
-Kirk :)
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