Books, Cramps & Happy Pants
[2] This is the salad I had recently at a Chinese buffet that I go to maybe 3X a year. They have a great selection. I would have taken more pictures, but when I went it was nighttime and my digital camera SUCKS at taking nighttime photos or photos in low light. This was the best I could do. Unfortunately, this time around the powers that be cheaped-out and put out some faux Ranch dressing, in lieu of the good stuff. You know what I mean: when the Ranch tastes more like Miracle Whip and a seasoning packet, rather than the real shit. I hate that. I think this is what ended up giving me cramps later on that night. Curse you poor Ranch imitation!
[3] My favorite part of the buffet: The Jell-O cubes! They are so good! I can never get mine the right consistency to cut into cubes. I was a little disappointed this night, though, because instead of the usual cherry flavor they had some other flavor mixed in that I could not tell apart until I tasted it. It was awful!
[4] A rack of great postcards at Barnes & Noble. Just 75¢ apiece. Since I have a postcard collection that is currently collecting dust, this may just be the solution to reviving it. So many great images!
[5] The bag from Barnes & Noble that they put your merchandise in. I thought it was really beautiful. I'm seriously considering cutting it out and framing it. The other side has even more classic book titles/covers.
[6] Some new magazine called Vitals. I bought it because my beautiful boy Jake Gyllenhaal is on the cover. Lots of great images inside, too!
[7] The current issue of Vanity Fair, which I also bought. Now that Leonardo is finally looking more like a man and not jailbait, I feel much more comfortable lusting after him. What a beautiful face.
[8] The new GQ. I HAD to get this. Jude's on the cover! Need I say more? Perfect.
[9] I took this teeny tiny picture just for my friend Sarah who is currently having some ladybug issues of her own. I still think they're cute... until they pinch me, like Sarah says they do. Then, it'll be another story.
[10] These are some hungry cow babies I saw when I was driving to the nearby town of Handley, to return some videos. I thought it was much too pretty to pass up taking a photograph of. Unfortunately it had just rained and while jumping a puddle I got my feet soaked! I hope ya'll appreciate the things I go through for a picture. Lol! ;)
[11] This is Starchy The Happy Shirt (yes, I've named him) painted on the side of the building directly across the street from the video store in Handley. It's a cleaner's, but the name escapes me. Always thought this was kitsch-a-riffic1
[12] This is a picture of a great set of bongos I saw at the pawn shop during my recent DVD expedition. I think it's SO beautiful. I love the colors and the African masks pattern. I really wanted it, but I have absolutely no use for it.
[13] Meet Starchy's pal, Creasey The Happy Pants!
[14] The "Before" photo on my recent haircut outing. I was starting to look like Barry Gibb!
[15] A great little coin-operated Flintstones ride outside the Kroger I shop at.
[16] The "After" photo on my recent haircut outing.
[17] A really great light fixture outside the Burlington Coat Factory, where I was shopping for a new coat recently.
[18] Sigh... I know this will sound strange, but I'm really sentimental about this gas heater. It's one of the main reasons I fell in love with my house. I've always loved these little gas heaters. All my babysitter's had them in their bathrooms, some even in their living rooms. Technically, it's not supposed to be here, since it is against some kind of ordinance, but I never had it taken out. I take it apart each Autumn and give it a good cleaning, before I fire it up in the Winter months. There's something very nostalgic and soothing about it's fiery red glow and the brilliance of the blue gas flames. I especially love the little key that controls the gas flow, turning it off and on. Originally, there was no key, but on one of my famous thrifting expeditions I came across an old junk store that sold all kinds of old gas furnace paraphernalia. One of the best investments I've ever made.
[19] Standee at Big Lots for some "Fuji" brand of batteries. Personally, I don't think it was the REAL Fuji brand, but then that's just my opinion. The logo looks suspiciously different.
[20] The sign at Jo-Ann Fabrics at night time. Pretty!
[21] Two crazy kids who had a blow out in front of my house (I thought I'd been shot! I was looking to the grassy knoll for answers), and rolled into Ms. Fossil's driveway.
posted by Kirkkitsch @ 6:00 AM
3 Comments:
1) No need to be jealous, just dump nuclear waste in the terrarium thing and wait for the people living there to get radiation poisoning and disintegrate... then move in!
2) What, no croutons? It isn't a salad without croutons!
3) What flavor is the hacked-off thumb that's sitting on the side of your plate? Did you cut it off the cashier, or was it mixed in with the Jell-O cubes in an unfortunate cube-slicing tragedy?
4) The postcard with the wolf attacking the baby in bed is disturbing. I will have nightmares tonight for sure.
5) I am proud to say that I have not read a single one of those Barnes & Noble classics! That probably makes me an uneducated redneck, but it has the benefit of not cutting into my Stephen King time.
6) Has Jake Gyllenhaal actually done something to make him famous, or is he famous just because he once dated Kirsten Dunst? I mean, sure he was terrific in Donnie Darko, but practically nobody saw it.
7) I do not understand what anybody sees in Leonardo. Perhaps it's because he looks nothing like Elizabeth Hurley, but I don't find him the least bit attractive (nor do I think he can act).
8) Jude Law, on the other hand, CAN act and does have a tendency to look really amazing (but that's probably because he's got hottie Sienna Miller hanging on his arm at all times).
9) Ladybugs are welcome to pinch me all they want... just so long as they keep the aphids off my car.
10) MAD COWS!! MAD COWS!! Run you fool... RUN!!!
11) Starchy is scary because he is a mutant shirt, constructed for some poor bloke who has his left arm growing out of the side of his torso. Starchy also doesn't make for a very good advertisement for the cleaners with that "ring around the collar" he's got going there.
12) Bongo drums are a most excellent place for hiding things... cops never look in the bongos!
13) Please tell Creasey the Happy Pants to put that thing back in his fly... this is a family blog, and we won't be having any of that!
14) Better Barry Gibb than Barry Humphries dressed up as Dame Edna!
15) How long do you get to ride it once you've put your quarters in? There doesn't seem to be much leg-room... how do you fit inside?
16) I am much relieved not to see your head on the floor. These barbers that have Oprah playing on the television when they are SUPPOSED to be concentrating on your hair cut are just begging for a serious accident one of these days.
17) Lighting fixture? I thought this was an automatic Juicer!! Or maybe a sausage grinder. Or a spittoon. Or even a pencil cup. Maybe one of those stand-up tanning beds?? Whatever happened to the good old days when a wood chipper looked like a wood chipper?
18) But can you roast marshmallows with a heater like that?!?
19) I dunno... this standee fellow looks to be some kind of green ninja or something. It's the footy-boots that gives him away. And is that a single "chuck" from a set of nunchucks he's got stashed on his belt? Fuji or not, those must be some bad-ass batteries if they've got a ninja making the endorsement!
20) Heh heh... if you re-arrange the letter is "fabrics" and "crafts," you can spell "stiff car crabs!"
21) Was Ms. Fossil standing IN the driveway when they rolled into it? All she needs to make herself happy is one more thing to complain about, and I think getting run over by a car just might be the ticket!
I love it when the bags or wrapping paper are beautiful enough that makes you want to save them, or even (as you said) put them up on the wall. That's what I call good value for money. :)
I used to collect postcards just because of the images as well, but now I just look up the image on the internet and save it. I hate cluttering up the house with stuff, and one does tend to forget where one has kept something, and it lays somewhere gathering dust, like you said. If it's on the PC I know where it is and I'll look at it regularly.
Anonymous-
1) I would dump nuclear waste in their terrarium, but I'm saving it for Ms. Fossil's flower beds.
2) I like croutons, but they are so damn hard to spear with your fork. Too much frustration. Sesame seed breadsticks are good too!
3) I actually found the thumb in the General Tso's Chicken... after I got impatient with a fellow buffet goer who couldn't seem to decide between the fried rice or the steamed rice.
4) Wolves are nurturing caregivers. Don't be afraid. David Naughton is a wolf and look how cute he is.
5) Nah, the fact that you read something other than the pork rind bag's ingredients, gives you non-redneck status. I liked Stephen King, too, but I think I stopped reading his stuff after IT came out. Then he started in on all that dragon fairytale shit and I lost interest. Besides, Catcher In The Rye is great!
6) Jake Gyllenhaal HAS done something to make him famous. He' removed his shirt. ROWR! He purty! But seriously, I have no idea what his celebrity status is, I just know what I like. As far as dating Kirsten Dunst, I'm not sure that contributes to making someone famous as much as it makes them REALLY good actors. Ech
7) I must admit that I am just now (or ever since Gangs of New York, anyway) getting comfortable with finding Leonardo attractive. Up until Gangs of New York came out, I considered him way too NAMBLA to feel comfortable thinking he was dreamy. Now that he's just a few years younger than me, I feel much more at ease. Besides, I thought he did a great job in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Marvin's Room.
8) Jude is babe-tacular! I've followed his career ever since he made Shopping (a fun, underrated movie). I also loved him in Immortality. Excellent!
9) I just had a ladybug pay me a visit last night. She kept walking around the circumference of an ashtray. She was a good kid.
10) They're not mad. Just disgruntled. There's a difference... there's a difference.
11) Starchy tries his best, and isn't that all that really matters?
12) Both Marlon Brando and James Dean played the bongos. Look what happened to them. They're dead now.
13) Creasey is a grown pair pants. If Paul Reubans can do it, so can he.
14) Or Marla Gibbs
15) I'm not sure. I think the ride is like 3-4 minutes long. You know how to fit in. Just conform!
16) Oprah?! OPRAH?!! She wasn't watching Oprah. It was too early for Oprah. She was watching As The World Turns. Shows what you know!
17) The really great designs never look like what they're supposed to. The fact that you envisioned all those other things is proof that it's an imaginative design. So there.
18) You can, but they have to be those miniature marshmallows.
19) I'll have to purchase some batteries and get back to you on this one.
20) You can also make the words "star barf"
21) No, if she had I wouldn't have salmon loaf and chocolate pie in my fridge right now.
Gatochy-
Me too! I miss them, actually. It seemed like in the 80's there were SO many more retail stores that had great stuff on their shopping bags. A totally good value. Free art!
Oh, I love my clipart CDs, too, don't get me wrong. But there's just something about having something tangible, such as an actual postcard, in your hands that brings back memories like a jpg file never could.
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