Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Men, Come Get Your Learn On!

A friend of mine recently sent me this hilariously truthful e-mail. Just more proof that I could SO never share a domicile with someone. I'd go insane and bludgeon them with a cordless phone encased in a dirty sock (undoubtedly left hehind by him). I honestly don't know how my parents have managed to be married for 40 years and not kill each other.
The saddest part of all is, even if these kind of classes actually did exist, men would never attend them.


* NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN! *
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. Sign up early and get a discount on registration!

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

• DAY ONE

- HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

- TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

- DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

- DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE OR FLY TO THE KITCHEN SINK AND/OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

- LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

- LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

• DAY TWO

- EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

- HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

- REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

- IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

- LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

- HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

- REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES! & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

- GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

2 Comments:

Blogger Stacy said...

I'm so glad my husband took those classes before we got married! :)

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 5:02:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Stacy-
In the immortal words of Napoleon Dynamite: "LUCKY!" ;)

Friday, February 04, 2005 12:39:00 PM  

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