Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Soup to Nuts

As you know, I love a good sale. Esp. at the grocery store. Well, recently the local Minyard's had a sale on Borden milk: 1/2 gallon for 99¢. The nearest Minyard closed years ago and a Walmart Marketplace replaced it, so the nearest Minyard's is in South Arlington (Ech. I hate South Arlington). So, I decided to go a few nights ago around 9PM or so. First off, I was really impressed/surprised with how clean and orderly the store was. It was like something out of a Stepford Wife movie. I say "surprised" because the outside kinda looks like caca. You'd think that I'd learned about judging a book by it's cover by now, but apparently I haven't.

So anyway, I pick up a few things here and there and finally get to the milk and start putting 4 of them in my cart. (*Note: In case you're wondering, no I don't drink THAT much milk before it can expire, but you can freeze it. I do this whenever I come across a good sale on something. i.e. Bacon- 99¢, Milk- 99¢, Bread- 99¢, etc. And it doesn't affect the taste at all, for those who are wondering. BTW, cartons are best to freeze 'cause you can just stick 'em in the freezer, but with plastic jugs, you have to open them and empty out about 1/2 a glass.)

That's when I notice a sign the store has taped to the shelf that tells me that they made a mistake in the sales circular and that the ad should have said "Limit 2." TWO? Pphhllt! I drove all this way specifically for a special and they pull that outta their ass? Whatta gyp. So I begrudgingly put two back.

Since I'd never been to this store before, or for that matter a Minyard in years, I decided to look around since all stores carry different brands/items. Well, I was glad I did because I found brands that I assumed had been discontinued, but weren't! To me, that was very exciting. Especially when they are brands that you really like. Plus, some of Minyard's store brands turned out to be pretty tasty, too. Also, I thought the way the store had some of their items displayed/stored, was very smart and space-saving. For example, on the soup aisle they had a new (at least I'd never seen it before) way of dispensing/displaying the soups. The Campbell's soups, to be exact. The majority of them were in these devices that resembled those racks you can buy to put in your fridge, that dispense soft drinks. You know, where you pull one out and the rest roll down. VERY smart idea! I know it may sound like a goofy thing to be excited about, but I'm a grocery store fanatic, so I always get a kick out of packaging, displays, etc.

Oh! And another pro was that as I was approaching the checkout, some beautiful alcoholic guy got in line in front of me. Sigh. He was so pretty (to me, anyway). Dark hair, big biceps, tight shirt, great nose... Eyecandy! He was buying two cases of Bud Light. Oh well, so much for perfection. Still, I'd give him some kisses.

So much for the pros. Now for the cons. First off, when did a large box of Lucky Charms go up to $5+? And when I say "large," I mean barely larger than the original sized box. Who do think they're kidding? They may be magically delicious, but I'm not magically delirious. Fuck that. Second, why do parents allow their children to continually scream at intervals throughout their entire visit? I don't get it. If it was me, and my kid was screaming at the top of their lungs (for no good reason), they better be one of 3 things: [1] Being kidnapped. [2] Experiencing bodily harm. Or [3] Just won the lottery. Ridiculous! Also, what's with all the security cameras in grocery stores these days? I mean, I guess I can understand areas that may have high-priced items like medication or something, but the soup aisle? Frozen foods? Soft drinks? Who are these food Houdinis? Forget Candid Camera, smile, you're on security camera. Gimme a break.

And last but not least, and this one pisses me off the most, how is it okay for a store to close & lock one of their 2 entrances once 10 o'clock rolls around? And some of them *cough*Tom Thumb*cough* close them even earlier than that, try 8:30 or 9 o'clock. And yes, before you leave a comment to tell me it's for "security reasons," I know that. My point is, I think it's mondo retarded, not to mention inconvenient on SO many levels:

-What if you part near one entrance to "run in" and get something, then have to walk all the way around the front of the building to leave? (this happened to me)

-What if there's some kind of fire or hostage situation (terrorist's love Caprisun)? I can see it now. Some undetected soul breaks away from the hostages, crawls to the north entrance/exit, only to see a cashier poke their head from behind a stack of Wild Cherry Pepsi to whisper "That door's locked sir, you'll have to use the other exit. Thank you for shopping Minyard's." Then a shot rings out. Poor guy. If he'd only known about the locked door rule.

And the list goes on. On this particular night it was a double-edged sword. One the one hand, like an idiot, I parked near the entrance that ended up being the one that got put on lockdown at 10PM (That explains all the great parking spaces so close to the door. How was I supposed to know?!). When I was finished at the checkout and was on my way to said exit, I was informed that the door was locked and that I'd have to use the other exit. Joy. HOWEVER, on the flip side of that, when I eventually got to my car at the other end of the store, some woman pulled up and parked in the space right next to my car, where I had intended to roll my cart into to unload. Naturally. So I pulled the cart back and had to wait for her to finish a phone call, before I could inch my way between our two vehicles (the bitch parked too fuckin' close!), and begin to put my groceries away. Well, after exiting the car with newfound urgency (without so much as an 'excuse me' or any kind of acknowledgement) she rushed up to the doors... and nothing. They didn't automatically open like she'd hoped. I stifled a laugh and then made her wait on the narrow sidewalk while I attempted to grab hold of some bags of groceries (So slippery! Gee. Imagine that). Hee hee. I'm going to Hell. Yippee!


Blogger Mariana said...

Classic Kirk. ;)

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 3:24:00 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

You just described many of my trips to the store. I don't understand why stores/restaurants/gas stations in this area feel the need to close at 9...or earlier! Aldi's closes at 7. SEVEN! That's RETARDED! Meijer closes their entire back entrance (half the store) at 11. We were there last night. At 11, the store was still pretty packed and people had to wait in line for quite a while to check out. There are 3 restaurants open here past 9, all of them BUSY! We were at Denny's at 11, and it was standing room only. Lots of people working weird hours would shop and eat weird hours if they could! We have to.

And, I saw that same soup display for the first time at Meijer a while ago. It's neat!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 9:50:00 AM  

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