Smells Like Preen Spirit

Though it may not be politically-correct, I smell like a tsunami! It's true! Well, at least AXE Body Spray's idea of a tsunami. Not devastating grief. There probably wouldn't be much of a market for that.

Since I am not a big cologne consumer, I prefer body sprays. It may sound fruity, but they smell just as good to me and they're a hell of a lot cheaper. Besides, the few colognes I DO own: Cool Water, Sung and B.U.M. (please resist the ironic gay jokes), are used so infrequently (mainly due to my dating sabbatical) that they last forever. I prefer the crisp, clean scents. Not too big on the sweet and/or musky scents. I've also never been one to jump on the cologne-of-the-moment bandwagon. Can you say Joop (pronounced "yope")? Bet you can say yuck. Same thing.

The AXE body sprays are also supposed to double as a deodorant, though I just use them as solely as a body spray (I simply don't trust their deodorizing powers). So far I've tried three of the AXE scents: Phoenix, Orion and now Tsunami. Other scents available are: Apollo, Essence, Kilo, Touch, Voodoo, Relapse ("limited-edition" scent) and Recovery (also limited-edition). And if the names aren't enticing enough, get a load of these fragrance synopsis':

• Apollo- Modern and sexy, for the clean-cut, super-jock effect.
• Essence- An Essence guy may be nice, but he's also counting on finishing first.
• Orion- An energetic, exhilarating scent, for the extreme sports guy effect. Never fails to attract tall, blonde skater chicks.
• Touch- For the guy who's looking to experience the thrill of anticipation... and then some.
• Voodoo- An oriental, spicy scent, for the mysterious, deep guy effect. A sure way to put a spell on that sultry, otherworldly vixen.

And my newest purchase:
• Tsunami- For the trendy, connected guy effect. A whiff of this stuff will convince the most stylish chick that you can hang.

Wow! Now I have PROOF that I'm connected AND can hang! SWEET!!

All goofy marketing schtick aside, if you're in the market for a new deodorant/body spray, check out the AXE line of products at your nearest grocery store. But hurry, a friend and I have a bet that the Tsunami edition may be discontinued soon so that the we as an unaffected country can begin the healing process and get back to what's really important... like 9 inaugual balls.

*p.s. That last image in the triptych that accompanies this post is purely fictional. However, on the rare occasion it does happen, it ain't because he smells good. Trust me. I'm nothing if not realistic.