Recent DVD Purchases

The Star Wars Trilogy
Comments: With the release of the original Star Wars trilogy (sans the shitacular CGI "special" effects), came a bevy of premiums being offered by just about every large chain store that was selling it: Wal-Mart offered mini reproductions of the Star Wars comic books with each DVD...Circuit City was offering lithographs with each DVD...Fry's Electronics was offering lithograph posters and Best Buy was offering the commemorative tin that contained all three movies. I went with the tin for 2 reasons: [1] It looks so cool! and [2] I need something to hold all my old Star Wars action figures (instead of that old shaving kit box they were sitting in, from the 70's).

I'm not a mondo Star Wars fan, but I do like the movies and, for me, it's more about the memories of the pop culture phenomenon. However, though not a hyperfan, I refused to salivate at the first release, which Lucas claimed was going to be the only release (the late 90's editions with the shitball CGI added). I was content to hold onto my old Star Wars VHS boxset. So, I was happy to see that this set offered the original versions.
Saturday Night Live Halloween
Best of Bowie
The Classic Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection
Comments: This is the Best Buy exclusive I blogged about last weekend.
The Dick Tracy Show: The Complete Series
Dead End
School of Life
Comments: I love Ryan Reynolds to death. Hell, I bought the new Amityville remake on DVD for Christ's sake, so I must like him. However, just because he's dreamy doesn't mean that he doesn't do some shitball movies (Just Friends, Waiting). This was one of those movies. Sure, he looks hot, but there's a reason very few people have even heard of this movies, besides the fact that it was obviously a made for "Family" TV-movie. This movie is as schmaltzy as it gets, people! Wow. Just wow. Here's just a few of the things about this movie that made me cringe:
• The horrible pasted-on head/Photochopped coverart of the DVD
• The fact that the main character is utterly revolting, yet is married to some "hot" chick...yeah, whatever
• The heavy-handed "you never how much time you have," up-with-life plot
• The dialogue. Example: Some "hot" junior high girl for whom the dorky principal's son has a hard-on for, tells him, after his father says something "deep" at lunch: "You're old man's alright." Wha? Yeah, teenage Britney-wannabes, like say that all the time. Oy vey
Haunted Honeymoon
Amityville II: The Possession
Comments: Always loved this movie. Always creeped me out. Plus, the chick from Better Off Dead ("Monique") is in it.
MAC and Me
Comments: OMG, this is one of my guilty-pleasures. One of those so-bad-it's-good movies. This movie SO wants to be the poor-man's E.T.. It's hilarious! Also, big bonus: The DVD contains the original movie trailer with Ronald McDonald. Sooooo bad. A must-have.
Fear Chamber
Shock Treatment
Comments: WARNING: This movie contains extremely addictive musical sequences. You may find yourself singing these songs days, even weeks after just one viewing.
Noel
Comments: Chaz Palminteri's directorial debut. First off, I've always had a thing for Chaz and secondly, I just saw the trailer for this movie and ordered it on Amazon. Apparently it completely tanked at the box office and therefore is super-cheap. Looks good to me, one of those cry-like-a-baby/feel-good movies. I'm ready!
Strange Days
Comments: God, so many actors/actresses that I like are in this movie. I'd almost forgotten about it. I say almost because I'll NEVER forget one of the scenes from the film that scarred me for life: A fight scene where during the process, a glass coffee table top is broken and one of the combatants grabs the other by the hair and rakes his throat against the broken edge of the table. ACK! Aaaaiiiiggghh! Nightmares!
Venom
Comments: YESSS! I finally got to see this damn movie! It's one of those movies that didn't last long at the theater (bad PR) and was ONLY available to rent at Blockbuster, where I refuse to rent...but not refuse to shop at their TENT SALE!! Yes, folks, I got this baby at a tent sale for $4. Sweet. And know what? I liked it!
Son of Samson/Son of Cleopatra
Comments: Mark Forest. 'nuff said. PERFECTION.
Basic Instinct 2
Comments: I was pleasantly surprised by this visually-stunning lil' thriller. Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL looking film, + the suspense is on par as well. Sharon Stone...eh, she's okay. She's trying WAY too hard to be "sinister" though. Hammy.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
The Poseidon Adventure
Path of Evil
Comments: OMG, this movie suuuuuuuuucked. It so wants to be Halloween. Stinky. This one's getting traded in.
Good Neighbors: The Complete Series
Comments: I love this show. Penelope Keith can do no wrong. She just can't.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 3
Comments: Finally! I found season 3 [1] Used and [2] For a price I was willing to pay. Can't wait to begin where Season 2 leave off!
Charlie's Angels: Season 1
Comments: I'm addicted. ADDICTED, I tells ya! I love Sabrina.
Home Movies: Season 4

It's My Birfday

Help yourself to some cake & leave me a comment here or on my Myspace page!

The Many Moods of Kirkkitsch

Awhile ago, I told my mom that if she would get all her photos together that I would organize them into albums for her. I did mean it, but I assumed, like most things, she'd act excited, say she would, then forget about it. She didn't forget about it. Maybe 3 weeks later, I went home for a visit and she had 3 huge boxes of photos, assorted albums, etc. Yippee.

Anyway, I ran across some old photos of me when I was little and these are the four that made me laugh.

[1] Happy. Some things never change. I still get that expression on my face when I have money in my hands.

[2] Groovy. My Dr. Zhivago phase. Yes, that's an actual purple fur coat and matching hat, and yes, I'm wearing my Pluto footie pajamas with it. I may look like Grimace, but I remember wearing the hell outta that coat. Little did I know that I'd be a trendsetter for the Bling Generation.

[3] Saucy. I'm too sexy for my Big Wheel. Ech. I think this photo was taken when I was in a summer "style show." This also marked the last time I was ever seen without a shirt on. And the world breathes a collective sigh of relief.

[4] Silly. I still do this sometimes. Who doesn't like to play the guitar and sing while sittin' on the pot? And yes, I do take requests.

Get a Rope

So, for my birthday this year, I decided to buy myself a CD player for the car. I'm not an audiophile nerd, so I just need something that will allow me to listen to CDs in the car. Brand really isn't a factor for me, (as long as it's not Emerson, Sony is a close second, but I digress...) so that wipes out those big names with prices to match that the "sales associates" love to push.

So, having been burned by Circuit City in the past, bad word-of-mouth of Fry's Electronics (not to mention the dumbass quotient is at an all-time high), that left me with Best Buy. They're not my first choice, but I do have a charge card for them, so that's a plus.

I go to check out the newest Best Buy close to where I live (as opposed to the one in South Arlington, AKA Traffic Land). After picking out a DVD I'd been looking for, I begin looking for the car stereo section of the store. I walk around aimlessly for a while before I spot a boggle of bruhs. You know, the big shorts, tank tops, baseball caps, sweet faux-retro T's and facial hair. SWEET! I must be getting close. Sure enough, I spot the "sweet" listening 'pod' that Best Buy has set up (complete with 'futuristic' Millennium Falcon-style chair), obviously made to appeal to the "dudes." I approach and before I can put both feet into the pod, some Best Buy 'bot goes in for the kill, proclaiming "Hey, dude!" I look at him and just blink, laughing on the inside because the straight male stereotypes are just as retarded as the gay male stereotypes. Even more so when they prove to be true. I'm temporarily transported back to the late 80's/early 90's, when Keanu Reeves was making bank with movies like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Point Break (the last time I heard 'dude' and didn't die a little inside). Cornered, I almost panicked and blurted out "Pussy! I love pussy!" or "Hey, bruh. Workin' hard or hardly workin'? heh heh" (preceded, of course, by the straight guy nod of acknowledgement).

The guy introduces himself (I forgot his SKU #, er I mean name) and asks me mine. I tell him my name is "Barry. Barry Gibb" (he's 12, so he won't know who-the-fuck Barry Gibb is), we shake hands: let the subterfuge bonding begin. He's quick to inform me that he doesn't work on commission, so there's no pressure for me to buy, just to help me have the "best experience possible." My mind whispers "too late" as I raise a skeptical eyebrow and say "So, are you gonna suck it now or later?" He just looks at me, confused. Okaaaay, I really didn't say that, but I was thinking what his expression would have been if I had.

I pick out a system that's the cheapest one there, with the features I want, yet is still more than I want to spend ($100 or less, preferably). He asks me the make/model of my car and then tells me that the stereo I chose is compatible with my vehicle, BUT I will need a $40 adapter kit and something else I forget, but it costs $30. I take the card with the info on the stereo and tell him I'll be back later. BTW, installation is "free" for stereos over $100.

I decide to look online for the stereo, now having the dimensions, features, etc. all neatly printed on the card I took from the display. I check the Best Buy website and find exactly what I want, ON SALE, for $80. That's $60 LESS than the cheapest compatible system at the store. The web site offers a 'feature' that allows you to type in your vehicle information in order to determine if the system you've chosen is compatible with your vehicle. I attempted to use this "helpful" feature several times, but I could never get it to work. I said "eh, fuck it" and ordered the stereo anyway, opting to pick it up at one of the locations here. I figured what's the worst that could happen? If it doesn't fit, I just won't buy it when it arrives. Besides, since both items had practically identical dimensions (give or take 7/8 of an inch), I thought it'd be fine.


Later, I had a friend try the compatibility feature on the site and after a few tries, she got it to work. Naturally, it said that the system I chose was NOT compatible. Feh. I'll believe it when I hear it from the "installation technician." I figure he'll be pretty motivated once he sees me saying "Oh well. See ya" and leave empty-handed. A no-no in Corporate America.

The system arrives and I go to pick it up since the retard answering the phone left me on hold for an hour. I did get an e-mail telling me it was ready for pick up, but I wanted to double check before I wasted a trip (you know how 'technology' works these days). Oh well, I want to pick up the new Dick Tracy animated series DVD anyway. Before I pay for the stereo, I have the cashier call the installation dept. first and make sure they can install it. She calls and they say they can (gee), so I pay and head on back.

The guy at the installation center looks at the car stereo box like I just wiped my ass with it (it's not a "big name", hyper-expensive stereo) and tells me that they charge for installation for any stereo under $100. I tell him I realize that and ask how much they charge. He goes through the $40 adapter kit routine, plus the $30 for something else I forget and finally $50 for actual installation. He THEN has the NERVE to tell me "If you go back and get a ~better~ stereo, it'd save you a lot of money." It's my turn to look at him like someone just wiped their ass on his sleeve. I look at him like "Riiiiight" and say "Oh well, that's okay, thanks." He assumes I mean I'm okay with the fees...until I reach across the counter to get the stereo box he's holding in his hot lil' hands. He's like "Wha? Oh." It's finally dawning on him that I'm not getting it installed there. I leave, thinking "Fuuuuuuck off."

Instead, I go to my local mechanic down the street and I ask him if he can install a car stereo. He says "Sure" and asks to see the stereo. I show it to him and tell him about how Best Buy tried to sell me an adaptor kit et al. He then tells me that that comes standard WITH most stereos. He opens the box to check and sure enough, there it is. "Cocksuckers!" screams inside my brain, but I don't say a word. I ask how much he charges and he says...$40. FORTY DOLLARS. I just saved $140 by NOT buying the stereo in the actual Best Buy store AND not having them install it.

So, I now have a new stereo in my car and it looks (it lights up neon blue...pretty!) and sounds great. Yay me.

Dennis the Menace

[ Click image for a printable version ]
I've always loved Hank Ketcham's Dennis the Menace. I like to pick up one of his old paperbacks whenever I see them. I recently came across 3 of his books lately and bought them all. Here are 4 comics in particular that struck a chord with me for whatever reason. Hope you enjoy them!

Musically Delicious?

Lucky the Leprechaun wants to be in a Gorillaz music video! *Sorry if this seems weird and completely out of context. I saw this on the back of a box of Lucky Charms cereal and it just lent itself to the situation. Look for a less convoluted post tomorrow.

Gimme a Break

While watching the news Sunday night (FOX 4 News @ 9), local schmo news anchor, Richard Ray had, what for anyone else, would prove to be a simple task: Report the top 5 grossing movies of the weekend. However, this particular weekend, the movie in the number one spot had a name that he'd "rather not say," so instead, he opted to display the list of the top 5 grossing films:

1. Jackass Number Two $28.1 million
2. Jet Li's Fearless $10.6 million
3. Gridiron Gang $9.7 million
4. Flyboys $6 million
5. Everyone's Hero $4.75 million

This is the "adult" I'm relying on to give me the news? This is almost as retarded as that one juror I served on jury duty with, who couldn't "bear" to say the word "ass" or even "butt." ("I'd so kick his you-know-what.") Ridiculous.

Upcoming DVD Releases

• Thriller: The Complete Series [ September 26 ]
• The Woods [ October 3 ]
• Abominable [ October 3 ]
Comments:
• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2: The Gruesome Edition [ October 10 ]
Comments: I've always had a certain love/hate relationship with this movie. On one hand, there's some creepy-ass scenes, on the other hand, I'm not too wild about the "humor" factor. I've never really been one for humor in my horror movies. I want one or the other, not some "wacky" hybrid. Nevertheless, I'm definitely looking forward to this release. Rumor has it that the original deleted scenes where Joe Bob Briggs gets murdered, will be included in the Extras. Neat-o!
• Legends of Horror Collection: [ October 10 ]
-Doctor X
-The Return of Doctor X
-Mad Love
-The Devil Doll
-Mark of the Vampire
-The Mask of Fu Manchu
Comments: Wowsa! And just in time for Halloween too! Though I already own DVD-Rs of Mad Love and Mark of the Vampire, I am really looking forward to seeing the new digitally-remastered versions. I just hope the discs include their original thetrical movie trailers!
• Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law: Season 2 [ October 10 ]
• Art School Confidential [ October 10 ]
• The Addams Family: Season 1 [ October 24 ]
• The Facts of Life: Season 3 [ October 24 ]
• Greg the Bunny: Best of the Film Parodies [ October 24 ]
Comments: God, I hope the one they did for Gummo is on here! Hilarious!
• Heartstopper [ October 31 ]
• Police Squad! The Complete Series [ November 7 ]
• The Forest [ November 7 ]
Comments: Fun 80's slasher I remember renting at the video store. Can't wait to see it again, digtitally-remastered.
• Family Guy: Volume 4 [ November 14 ]
• The Cary Grant Collection: [ November 14 ]
-Big Brown Eyes
-Kiss and Make Up
-Thirty Day Princess
-Wedding Present
-Wings in the Dark
• The Paul Newman Collection: [ November 14 ]
-Harper
-The Drowning Pool
-The Left-Handed Gun
-Mackintosh Man
-Pocket Money
-Somebody Up There Likes Me
-The Young Philadelphians
Comments: Oh man, you don't know how long I have been waiting for some of these movies to be released to DVD! I LOVE Harper, it's sequel The Drowning Pool and one of my all-time-favorites, the boxing film Somebody Up There Likes Me. I'm excited!
• The Rock Hudson Collection: [ November 14 ]
-Has Anybody Seen My Gal?
-A Very Special Favor
-The Golden Blade
-The Last Sunset
-The Spiral Road
• Dr. Katz: Season 2 [ November 24 ]
• Superman: The Movie: 4-Disc Special Edition [ November 28 ]
Comments: You don't know how close I came recently to buying the previously-released Superman boxset. I'm glad I waited. And even though I have fond memories of and love the first movie, I can't imagine WTF they are gonna put on FOUR discs.
• Superman II: 2-Disc Special Edition [ November 28 ]
• Superman III: Deluxe Edition [ November 28 ]
• Superman IV: Deluxe Edition [ November 28 ]
• Bones: Season 1 [ November 28 ]
Comments: I love this show! I'm not sure which coverart they are going with, but personally, I prefer the first version. Looking forward to getting this boxset! The weird thing is, I never really got into David Boreanaz in his TV series Angel, but I think he's incredibly hot as FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. Maybe it's the suit.

Shriekend -or- Currently Watching...

Best Buy is good for something every once in a while, for example: Their new "exclusive" Classic Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection DVD set (released this last Tuesday) contains 3 DVDs with 5 classic Sci-Fi movies, all of which are making their DVD debut:

Tarantula

The Mole People

The Incredible Shrinking Man

The Monolith Monsters

and

Monster on Campus

All for just $19.99! In addition, the set includes the original theatrical trailers for each feature! Love it.

What I'm Listening to: Vol. 10

• 2 Many DJs Series: Volume 2 © 2002
Comments: I'm normally not big on "continuous mix" CDs, but this one was so well done and contained such an eclectic choice in music, ranging from the 70's to present day, I loved this CD. So much so that I bought the rest of the series on eBay!
• Requiem For a Dream Remixed © 2002
Comments: LOVE this soundtrack. I've been wanting it ever since I heard one of the tracks in a store years ago. I think it's very well done and it met/exceeded all my expectations. The remixes maintain the same disjointed, cool, dark, disturbing feel of the film without getting bogged down in trying too hard to be remixes. Excellent.
• Late Night Sessions © 2003
Comments: This 2 CD set is excellent. I knew after listening to just a few tracks that I wanted it. It hasn't let me down. Recommended!
• Gladiator Movie Soundtrack © 1992
• Under the Influence of Giants © 2006
Comments: This has got to be the best, most underrated album I have bought all year. I initially bought it for the single Mama's Room, plus the fact that I bought it at Best Buy and their particular version included a second disc with a bonus REMIX of said song by Richard Vission. It's hard to pinpoint the group's sound, but I agree with one reviewer that described them as a hybrid of The Bee Gees, Elton John, Madonna, Earth, Wind & Fire and other 70's and 80's favorites. Great, great album through and through.
• Real Life: Lifetime © 1990
• Madonna & Missy: Into the Hollywood Groove [ Single ] © 2003
• Xanadu Movie Soundtrack © 1980
• Blossom Dearie © 1989
Comments: I LOVE this album. I've been wanting this CD for ages, but it never seems to stay in stock too long anywhere online and is virtually impossible to find in stores. Upon visiting our local legend store Forever Young Records, I finally tracked down a copy! Why I didn't think to check there sooner, I don't know. The CD is excellent. One of those CDs I like to put on in the fall and let play all the way through. It's all golden. Highly Recommended!
• Zance: A Decade of Dance Remixed © 2001
• Strange Days Movie Soundtrack © 1995
• The Rolling Stones: Forty Licks © 2002
• Meatballs Movie Soundtrack © 1979
Comments: My friend made this CD-R for me from the original LP soundtrack, since it's not available otherwise. It's one of my favorite movies and the soundtrack conjures up good memories. That Nathan, what a gem.
• Remixed 80's ©
Comments: I think I may have purchased a possible audio turd with this one. Like an idiot, I was sucked in by the whole "80's Remixed" goodness...it was only AFTER I placed my order that I read the reviews. *sigh* Apparently none of the songs are performed by the original artists (not always a bad thing, but rarely a good thing either). We'll see.
• Compact Jazz Series: Bill Evans © 1987
• Esquivel: Music From a Sparkling Planet © 1995

Not Shown:
• Dusty Springfield: Am I the Same Girl © 1996

Puss Gets the Boot

Can you stand one more Ms. Fossil story? I hope so, because when Lolita told me this one recently I about peed my pants laughing.

Well, since I last blogged, Lolita has made plans to move into an efficiency apt. with her mom (it's a long story), so she is moving out of Ms. Fossil's this coming Friday. I was happy for her, but just between you and me, I sense another one of those "out of the frying pan and into the fire" situations just waiting to happen, but I'm not saying a word this time. I'm just gonna let it play out and try and be supportive when the inevitable happens.

ANYWAY, Lolita's mom recently "left" her latest husband du jour and that's what prompted this quick departure from Ms. Fossil's. Lolita's cat has been staying at her mother and stepfather's home, while Lolita worked on getting the funds together to move into her own apartment. I was talking to Lolita while she was in transit to pick up her mom and asked her if she was going to be bringing the cat back with her (to Ms. Fossil's, where they are BOTH currently staying; i.e. Lolita & her mom) and if she was, what a fit Ms. Fossil would have. Then I remembered that she'd had a cat briefly before, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I mentioned this, saying I remember her having a housecat years ago, but she (Ms. Fossil) said something to me about it being a nuisance and made the indoor cat an outdoor cat, and he subsequently went MIA shortly thereafter.

That's when Lolita said "You know why she didn't like the cat inside?" I told her 'no,' that I assumed it was because it scratched the furniture or shed or something. She said no (prepare yourself, I about fell over when she told me this), it was because you could see the cat's asshole when he walked and Ms. Fossil found this terribly offensive! *long pause* ROTFLMAO!! And she didn't understand why the cat couldn't walk with it's tail lowered. OMG, I about pissed myself when I heard that. I said "What?! Why didn't she crochet it a butthole cosy?!" Good lord, have you ever heard such insanity? She has some serious issues.

• Get your Cat Butts magnets here!
• Try some Cat Butt Gum today!

No More Fasting for Me, Since I Discovered...

[ Click to read the fine print ]

Thrift Book Finds

Though I am still working on getting all the images together for the Labor Day book sale, garage sale and estate sale book finds I made recently, I do have this much done: the books I recently ran across while at the various thrift stores in the area. I hope you like books because there's ANOTHER book sale (local library) coming up this week, where I'll probably find more book goodness.


• The Gay World: Male Homosexuality and the Social Creation of Evil by Martin Hoffman ©
Synopsis: (From the book jacket) In this illuminating and inevitably controversial book, Dr. Hoffman, who conducted numerous interviews and visited many of the places where homosexuals congregate, probes, in the depth and style of Oscar Lewis and other masters of the genre, this occult subculture which is hidden from the view of most Americans yet includes millions of their closest friends and relatives.

Here are the gay bars, the "orgy rooms" and private cubicles of the gay baths, the private house parties, the homosexual ménage or "gay marriage," and the rest rooms, the parks, and the streets where homosexuals arrange their liaisons. Here too are the "queens," the "twinkies," the aging homosexuals, and the "part-time" homosexuals who are often husbands and fathers in their "straight" lives.

The Gay World also explores the vexing question raised by its look into the homosexual community. Why do men become homosexual? What is bisexuality? Is homosexuality a mental illness? Do gay marriages work and what are their problems?

The picture this book paints of homosexual life is not always a pretty one. But it refuses to explain all of what it sees purely in terms of the individual psychopathology of the men themselves. It shows, rather, how prevailing social attitudes contribute to the pathology present within the homosexual community and how, therefore, society itself creates human misery and evil.
Comments: Geez, Louise, where do I even begin in regards to this book? I initially learned of this book via eBay, where I wanted to bid on it, but it was more than I wanted to pay. I also wanted the hardcover version, with book jacket (no small task). I finally ended up finding it at this junky ol' bookstore in Fort Worth, and was very excited.

I realize it seems kind of morbid or defeatist to actually want to read such an obviously biased, negative, ignorant book, but I consider stuff like this "pulp" and enjoy reading just how fucked up books on this subject used to be (and still are, they're just not as sensationalistic now).

• Angel Loves Nobody by Richard Miles ©
Synopsis: (From the book jacket)
The Shock Of The
Blackboard Jungle
The Drama Of Up The Down Staircase
And A Style Of Terror All Its Own
Angel had the brains. Rico had the muscle. Angie had the body. Tio and Johnny and Maria and Ishmael and Cooper and all the rest had the hatred to play their parts in the Plan.
And only Tim Nielson among the teachers had the information that could stop it-if the others would listen. But they wouldn't. That was precisely the reason they were marked as victims...
Comments: Ooh, I loooove these kinds of books. It brings back all those teen-angst-y 80's memories of movies like Heathers and Class of 1984 and those deliciously-wicked books like My Bodyguard and The Chocolate War. I couldn't resist buying this one (a whopping 27¢) when I came across it while browsing at one of the local thrift stores.

• I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan ©
Synopsis: Julie and her three friends run over a young boy on his bike, and kill him. In a fit of panic, they decided to drive away, and make a pact never to tell another living person. It has been a year, and the group has fallen apart. But strange accidents are happening, first to Barry, then to Helen. And Julie can't explain the note, written in simple block letters and delivered personally to her house: I know what you did last summer.
Comments: I grew up reading Lois Duncan's books, which I've blogged about before. AND since I loved the movie version (though Lois didn't care for it) of the movie of the same name, picking this one up was a no-brainer. A fun read to pass the time. I just wish I could find all of the 80's paperbacks of Duncan's books that I remember loving. The covers were so great back then. I have a couple of the 80's versions (Down a Dark Hall and Five Went Missing), but finding some of the others (Killing Mr. Griffin and IKWYDLS) is proving harder than I thought.

• My Darling, My Hamburger by Paul Zindel ©
Synopsis: Liz and Sean, both beautiful and popular, are madly in love and completely misunderstood by their parents. Their best friends, Maggie and Dennis, are shy and awkward, but willing to take the first tentative steps toward a romance of their own. Yet before either couple can enjoy true happiness, life conspires against them, threatening to destroy their friendships completely.
Comments: This is one of those book I remember overhearing being talked about when I was growing up, but I never really knew what it was about. Usually some assignment from some rogue English teacher, I always wondered "When will we get this assigned to us?" It was one of those 'message' books, if you know what I mean. Back then, it seemed, 'message' books were all the rage. They usually ended up being about (at the time) 'taboo' subjects like abortion, getting pregnant at a young age, suicide, parental death, divorce, homosexuality and/or infidelity. I loved all that shit. As a pre-teen, I felt like I was really reading something juicy. LOL!

This particular book was one of those that was for the "young adult" scene, like Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, The Pigman, The Bell Jar, etc. So, since I've always been curious about it, I bought it...I'm still reading it, but I'm thinking it's one of those teen angst books about being pressured into pre-marital sex. It's pretty funny and some of it is dead-on (in regards to the inner monologue that goes along with one's first "date").

Candy Condolences

With Halloween just around the corner, it got me to reminiscing about some of the candy I used to love that, unfortunately, is no longer in production. One of my favorites was Lifesaver Lollipops. They were like a giant lifesaver on a stick. And though they still make something similar, they no longer have a hole in the center. I'm guessing it's because there was too big of a problem with breakage while in transit, I dunno. Whatever the case, I miss 'em.

Moneyback

I like Justin Timberlake. I know it's not "cool" to like him because of the whole former boy band stigma, but I really don't care, I still like him and his music. His first solo album was so great through and through so I was really looking forward to his new "comeback" album (whatever...not recording an album for 4 years does not constitute a 'comeback, in my opinion, but whatever, I digress).

Having heard and really liked the first single, Sexyback, the new album's promise was looking good. Anticipating great dancefloor grooves worthy of remixes aplenty (Alluded to by the whole Disco ball 'theme' on the cover, throughout the insert booklet and via photoshoots released to garner interest in the new album), I bought the new album yesterday. New. I paid full price. I want my money back. Here's why:

The album has 12 songs plus a Best Buy "exclusive" track, making it a grand total of 13 songs. There are 2 good tracks. That's it. One is the original single of which I spoke of previously and the other is Summer Love...providing the song isn't allowed to play its' entire 6 minutes and 24 seconds. Not unlike some movies, it needs to stop while it's ahead, clocking in at 4 minutes 10 seconds. If the song is allowed to play for the entire duration it gets too "slow jamz" for my tastes, and I think it enters the same bullshit territory the other 11 songs succumb to. I realize that "urban" music is all the rage amongst Gen Duh, but I am SO not into it. It all sounds like the same "smooth" shit. Justin seems to think Usher died and personally asked him to be in charge of bringin' slow jams back. It soooo doesn't translate into a good album.

Sure, Justin is attractive, has the celeb-appeal and above average R&B-style voice, but these songs are a real disappointment. I felt the same way about Madonna's last album and was pleasantly surprised when a few of the songs that seemed utterly forgettable were remixed and new life was breathed into an otherwise lackluster song. Attempting to use the same vision for Justin's songs, I can't even see them being remotely appealing, even with the best mixmaster ever. The remix would have to completely sound nothing like the original to be remotely club-friendly.

For someone who envisions himself 'changing the face of Pop music,' he's off to a less than stellar start. I don't even think his good looks (IMO) are enough to save this album, but then what do I know? Maybe he has a broader black fanbase that this will ultimately appeal to and possibly increase sales. Personally, I think this album's utterly forgettable and will ultimately end up in the discount bin. Let's hope his future albums are better than this one.

Epilogue: Over the weekend (since I wrote this piece) I've since read several reviews that seem to think this album is dick-hardening good. And since I can't seem to convey exactly how bad I think this album is, I've found a video over at Youtube that sums up my feelings, visual-style. Kick it one time, Black Hercules!:


Yes, it's that good.

Come and Knock On Their Door!

You Had Me At 'Cuckoo' [Part 4 of 4]

Lolita calls me from work the next day, telling me about the "talk" she and her grandmother had the previous evening. Ms. Fossil continues her tirade, determined that "Kirk ran his mouth" yet quickly clams up when Lolita inquires "I don't why you keep talking about Kirk running his mouth. About WHAT? What did you say to him?" Nothing ends up getting resolved. Lolita continues with her 'tough love' routine and Ms. Fossil finds out that a made-to-order apology isn't going to cut it this time around.

Later that afternoon Ms. Fossil calls me shortly after I get home from running some errands. She wants to come over and 'talk' to me. I tell her to come on over...*fleeting scenes of Norman Bates holding a shovel flash through my mind.* I know exactly why she wants to come over. She wants to SEE me while she's talking to me, so she can put her human lie detector 'skillz' to work. Well, she's got another think coming because she's dealin' with a pro. I didn't slide under the radar all through school by being a BAD liar. Method Acting has nothing on me.

The doorbell rings. I ask her in and she sits in the big chair in front of the window of the living room and I sit on the loveseat. Here's the conversation that takes place:

Ms. Fossil: Oh Kirk, I've just messed things up so much. Can you help me get things back the way they were?
Me: (cocking my head like a curious pup) Really? How? (secretly enjoying the fact that the miserable old elf is just that: miserable {of her own accord})
Ms. Fossil: Lolita is so upset with me and I don't what to do about it. I just want things to go back to the way they were. Will you please, please ask her to come over and do something? (Whaaaaaaaaaa?)(seriously, I'm not exaggerating. She is literally begging me)
Me: (does eyes) I don't understand...just the other day, I thought you felt like she spent too much time over here. I didn't want to make waves.
Ms. Fossil: Oh, forget everything I said. I don't know why I said that. I apologized to her the other morning and told her I guess I was just, I don't know, jealous. She always has such a good time when she comes over here. I feel like she's safe with you and I like that she's not around people who use foul language (I have to REALLY control myself not to let out a guffaw at this point). She doesn't use the 'F' word and I don't like her to be around that. Have you asked her to do anything lately and she's declined because of me?
Me: Unh uh. I did go by her place of employment today to show her what I bought at the estate sale I went to today. She felt like it was best for her not to come over and look at it since it upset you so. Afterall, I know you felt like we were spending too much time together (enjoying driving this point home again and again) so I haven't asked her to do anything lately.
Ms. Fossil: Well, I don't know what's wrong. I just can't figure it out. She's just not behaving the way she used to. She won't get up early and come watch the religious programs with me on Sunday morning like she used to. She won't make coffee in the morning like she used to. She doesn't eat when I do.
Me: (feigning innocence) Well, maybe she just doesn't have the same internal clock for eating that you do. She hasn't mentioned anything to me about anything being wrong.
Ms. Fossil: Oh no, she wouldn't. She keeps it all inside (yeah, because if she let it out, you'd be buried in the basement right now). She's just like her father (then goes off into a long-winded tale of why her (Lolita's) father "hates" her (Ms.F). Shyeah, take a number, pal).
Me: Oh. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Have you tried talking to Lolita about it?
Ms. Fossil: She won't talk to me. I think maybe her feelings are hurt.

Around about this time, Lolita calls me and I tell her I will call her back. Ms. Fossil takes this opportunity to waddle to the exit and tells me in hushed tones (even though the phone call is over) not to tell Lolita that she came over to talk to me, thanks me and leaves.

So, that's where we are. It's going on 2 weeks now and Lolita hasn't come over (or been invited, for that matter, what's the use, right?). We did go to lunch yesterday and have Thai food (pictures at a later date!), though. No more Fossil bomb attacks (since she got what she really wanted anyway). Oh well, what goes around comes around.

When a Dingleberry Calls [Part 3 of 4]

Thursday, 8:32am. The caller I.D. shows that I received a phone call from Ms. Fossil. I didn't wake up until 10:30am. I looked out the front door to check the mail and noticed the yard men's truck in Ms. Fossil's driveway. Assuming she called (like she has in the past) to see if I wanted them to mow my front yard, I called her back. No answer. Two-thirty rolls around and I get another phone call from her. Here's a rough transcript of the conversation that took place:

Ms. Fossil: Kirk, this is Ms. Fossil.
Me: Hi
Ms. Fossil: (pissed) I want to know what you said to Lolita!
Me: (lying through my teeth) ...said to Lolita...about what?
Ms. Fossil: About what we talked about the other day.
Me: Yesterday (feigning like I was trying to remember)...Oh, you mean when we talked on your front porch?
Ms. Fossil: Yes, what did you tell her?!
Me: I didn't tell her anything about our conversation. That was between you and me (*batting eyelashes*).
Ms. Fossil: Well, I'd hope so....but I'm just certain you said something to her. I thought maybe you misunderstood what I was saying about her staying with me (there's no "misinterpreting" talking shit).
Me: No. I talked to her the other day at work, but we didn't talk about what you and I talked about. She was just telling me she couldn't come over (I said this because Lolita was telling me how Ms. Fossil pitches a fit when Lolita tells someone that she (Ms.F) won't "let her go" somewhere {which is the truth...well, technically she's not physically holding her down, but she's VERY disuasive}. Lolita was telling me how she was going to feign a phone call, one of these days, within earshot of her grandmother {who is the eyes and ears of the neighborhood}, telling her fictitious caller that "she" wouldn't "let" her go, knowing it would piss her off to be perceived as the tyrant that she is...I thought I'd instigate it a little sooner).
Ms. Fossil: (extremely pissed off...raising her voice) I DIDN'T SAY SHE 'COULDN'T' GO OVER THERE! (begins to snort and huff and puff) I said I thought you and she spent too much time together! You and she spent a week together, then the holidays (I had to think about that one..."holidays" to me says Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's, then it dawned one me...the book sale in Dallas was on LABOR DAY. "The holidays." Gimme a fuckin' break!) then she was over there 3 days last week!
Me: Oh. Well, she is an adult. I assumed that if she knew it was going to cause a conflict that she had the option of saying 'no.'
Ms. Fossil: I know she gets bored here, I get bored here. There's nothing for her to do over here. I don't have cable or a computer and she doesn't have her stereo here or anything to do. (I start thinking of that proverb 'Misery Loves Company')
Me: (At this point I just let her go on her tirade. I have nothing to contribute to this kook's blathering.)

She keeps trying to get me to admit to something, and it's just NOT gonna happen. I stick to my story and basically tell her to talk to Lolita, that I don't know what's up with her. She says she's going to talk to her when she gets home from work. But this isn't the last I'll be hearing from Ms. Fossil about this matter. Perhaps I'll have a visitor tomorrow...

3 Degrees of Desperation [Part 2 of 4]

Okay, you know how they say hindsight is 20/20? It's true. Ironically, if I'd taken my own advice and stayed out of other people's business I wouldn't be involved in the drama that has now unleashed itself upon me.

Yes, I opened my big mouth. I know, I know! Honestly though, I didn't think it was going to turn into the full-blown drama that it has. I remember someone saying once that if there's nothing positive to be gained from repeating something, don't repeat it. It's totally true. I was stupid and mentioned the whole food drama talk me and Ms. Fossil had previously that day. I didn't repeat all of it, just the part about her acting all exhausted from her alleged cooking marathon. Lolita laughs and goes on to tell me the TRUTH behind the whole food drama:
[1] Ms. Fossil asked Lolita if she would eat cupcakes is she made them. Lolita told her 'no' because she has a sweet tooth and she knows she will eat them all if she makes them. Ms. Fossil makes them anyway, then is upset when Lolita won't eat one.
[2] The "meatloaf" was 5 inches in diameter. I suspected as much, after seeing Ms. Fossil's idea of a portion and what a tightwad she is.
[3] She made the shrimp and linguini TWICE...for herself (Ms. F). LOL! Lolita doesn't even like shrimp and has told her that.

Lolita was peeved, but not all that surprised that she was not exempt to the bullshit Ms. Fossil likes to perpetuate. I told her not to repeat what I told her, she said she wouldn't.

The next day, Lolita calls me and tells me that after she got off the phone with me that Ms. Fossil asked her who she was talking to. She told her that she was talking to me and that Ms. Fossil immediately got snippy and said "I think you two spend way too much time together!" Lolita asked her where that came from. Totally out of left field. In reality, Ms. Fossil knew she'd said some bullshit and was afraid it'd come back to bite her in the ass and she was feeling threatened by the fact that Lolita had been talking to someone who could blow her facade. That also explained why she rushed Lolita the moment she came home, lavishing her with praise and love (completely out of character for her) and sat next to her on the bed telling Lolita how much she enjoyed having her there and how she was absolutely no trouble at all. Two-faced ol' peanutmonkey.

So...as luck would have it, the next three days conspired to add to the drama, inadvertently. Lolita's mom asked her to go to dinner that night, so she did, ended up staying late and spent the night at her mom's. Needless to say, she didn't eat dinner at Ms. Fossil's. She also left 30 minutes earlier that morning to go to work. In addition, she went to a wedding, went out to eat late that night and didn't eat dinner (again) at her grandmother's. This all conspired to make Ms. Fossil assume Lolita was mad at her for some reason. So, she comes to Lolita early the next morning and apologizes to her, telling her she didn't mean to say anything she said to her. She guessed she was "just jealous" or something. Fuckin' DUH! Being accustomed to her grandmother runnng hot & cold, Lolita accepted her apology and told her she wasn't mad at her.

This behavior teamed with the "now or never" eating schedule that Ms. Fossil doesn't seem to be willing to compromise (7am-Breakfast/12pm-Lunch/6pm-Dinner), and not being hungry at those exact moments, not to mention not necessarily being a 3 meals a day person, Lolita opts to eat when she gets ready and to turn the tables on Ms. Martyr, er I mean Ms. Fossil and give her a dose of her own medicine. Example: Ms. Fossil likes to say shit to Lolita like: "I'll go in here and eat my cereal because it's loud when I eat and I know you don't want to hear that." -or- "I'll go sit in the other room because I know you don't want me around all the time." Lolita used to play right into it and say stuff like "Oh Grandma, I dunno why you say such things. I love you...blah blah blah ." Mission accomplished. Score one for Ms. Fossil. NOW Lolita was saying "okay." to these attempts at sympathy/attention. She didn't have much to say and was content spending her free time confined to her bedroom. Deservedly, it was driving Ms. Fossil mad and she was about to take matters into her own hands...

It Came From Next Door [Part 1 of 4]

Prologue: To be honest, I don't really have anything to blog about this week. At least anything that I've already prepared. I have lots of scanning to do for my future posts about my book purchases, estate sale finds, etc., but I haven't had time to scan them lately. SO, if you like drama, belly up to the bar. It's All-You-Can-Eat Week!

For those of you who have followed the misadventures of me and Ms. Fossil since I started this blog 2 years ago, you know what a pain-in-the-ass she can be. For those who are not familiar with Ms. Fossil (Click here for a taste), she is my 90-something next door neighbor who brings a whole new dimension to the word 'angst.'

So, here's the latest drama: Ms. Fossil's 24-year old granddaughter is in the process of moving from Indiana to here in Texas and is staying with her (with Ms. Fossil's encouragement) until she has enough money set aside to get an apartment. For the sake of this post, we'll refer to the granddaughter as Loco Lolita (you'd have to be crazy to live with Ms. Fossil).

Days before Lolita's arrival, Ms. Fossil confided in me (while also telling me that she just had a new lawn sprinkler system installed and for me not to destroy it...cuz that's how I am) that she was so glad that Lolita was coming to stay with her because she (Ms. F) was getting on in years and was lonely. I told her that was nice and that I would refrain from chewing on her new sprinkler system.

So, Lolita arrives and has been with Ms. Fossil for about a week before she comes over and we end up just sitting and talking about all the stuff she can't talk to her grandmother about. Over the next week we went to some garage sales and she came over and we watched movies and played video games. This lasted for about 4 days. We decided to pace ourselves since Ms. Fossil has a tendency to get jealous quickly when attention is detracted from her for any amount of time.

Lolita works from 9-5, and over a period of about 4 weeks we spent about a week together in total. She went with me and Nathan to the big Labor Day book sale at Half Price Books in Dallas. It was pretty much an all-day thing: 2-9pm. When I go to Dallas I like to make the most of it, so we all went out to eat and ended the evening going to the best new & used CD/DVD store in Dallas, CD Source.

A few days later I'm pulling into the drive way and see Ms. Fossil returning from her car. I assumed she'd just got home with groceries and had come out to close the trunk of her car (I found out later from Lolita that Ms. Fossil had just chewed out the phone company guy who came to bury my phone cable. I'd been having problems with my phone reception and it turned out it was in the cable so they came out, replaced the cable and left a note on the door telling me they would be back in 7-10 days to bury the cable. Naturally, Ms. Fossil is now convinced that her sprinkler system isn't operating as well as it 'used to.' WTF ever. They didn't even dig remotely close to her property line. UGH!) We make eye contact and even though I really don't want to talk to her, I say 'Hello' and ask her how's she's been and what she's been up to. She lets out a heavy sigh and says how she's been cooking all day (even though it's just 2 o'clock in the afternoon). She goes on to tell me how she made 24 cupcakes, shrimp with linguini, meatloaf... I say "Wow. Is there a special occasion? Are you taking it somewhere or something?" Feigning exhaustion, she says "No. Lolita has to eat 3x a day." I was like "Oh," knowing how she likes to exaggerate and play the martyr. She goes on to say how she hopes Lolita appreciates the FREE (emphasis) room and board, after all, she is 25 years old. I don't know what to say, but internally I'm rolling my eyes and saying "oy vey." Just 2 weeks ago she was all for the idea, "lonely," etc. Instead, I just say "Oh, I'm sure she does" to which she replies "She better, if she doesn't she should be ashamed of herself." That's my cue to cut this performance short, so I say "Well, I'll talk to you later. Bye!" I'm just not in the mood to listen to the bullshit.

So, later that evening, Lolita calls and we talk for a while. Lolita is no dummy and she knows exactly how her grandmother operates. She told me how she (Ms. F) talks shit about EVERYONE and how she likes to play the drama card. No one is exempt. She was telling me how she (Lolita) offered to help the woman who lives in the house on the other side of Ms. Fossil, with sorting her mother's clothes (who recently passed away) for a future yard sale. She said she was really nice and that when Ms. Fossil pumped her about info, she (Ms. F) went off into a tirade about how she WASN'T a very nice person and blah blah blah . So, Lolita is learning to arrive at her own conclusions and has written off grandma as the bitter, hateful old woman that she is. Toss in a pinch of Bipolar disorder and you've got a recipe to make your very own Ms. Fossil. We've both concluded that it all stems from the fact that her husband was fuckin' around during their marriage, leading to their eventual divorce, leaving Ms. Fossil to raise her 3 children alone. She's never gotten over it and has allowed it to completely overshadow her entire life, trumpeting to anyone that will listen, the fact that she RAISED THREE CHILDREN ALLLL ALONE. Fuck off. Get over it and MOVE ON already! Her scarlet letter would be 'M' for martyr. We've all heard it before and are tired of hearing it over and over again. A prime example of how holding onto/rehashing negative experiences can completely sabotage any potential happiness.

I Can't See the Cash Register for the Tears in My Eyes

Clad in 24k gold and .999 pure silver actually recovered from vaults beneath the ashes of Ground Zero, the gleaming towers rise up like hope from the shadows of Ground Zero over the shining city. New York shines in frosted relief against a mirrored surface with our promise "We will never forget." Then, in a second distinct striking, the stunning skyline of the Twin Towers is inset with jeweler precision, able to rise up into a breathtaking standing sculpture. On the reverse, the proud eagle proclaims "God bless America."

This could be the most meaningful collectible you will ever own.

On Newsstands Now

Tree Fees

I've lived in my house for around 10-11 years. Since I live in an older neighborhood, there are A LOT of mature trees. Personally, I like that. I'd much rather have the forest that I call my backyard, than one of these new cookie cutter patches of lawn that pass for a backyard now, what with the neighbor's house within reach and the one or two lone new saplings the contractors have plunked down to give the place yet one more generic look.

So, with big trees, sometimes come big problems (which I've blogged about before...though the problem then was more human, so to speak, than nature). My most recent tree problem has been one of the big trees in my front yard. It's been dying for some time now and with the weather being in the 100's for so long, it's getting even drier and more brittle. Once I saw that the one lone branch it had stemming from it's trunk was beginning to split, I knew I had to act fast. The tree lines the sidewalk and if that branch (so large, it's like another trunk) split and fell, it would fall into oncoming traffic (across at least 3 of the 4 lanes) and possibly cause a bad accident.

So, I began the process that I've become all too familiar with: comparison shopping. I did it when I first had to call a plummer, a contractor, electrician, and a few years ago, tree trimmers. You may be asking "But, Kirk, if you already had the name of the company who trimmed your trees 2 years ago, why not just use them again and avoid all the footwork." Ah, that's what I thought, so when I called them to arrange an estimate, I thought I was one step closer to getting this huge tree removed from my front yard. Au contraire, mon frere.


First off, it took them TWO WEEKS to give me an estimate. When I called, the secretary said 3 DAYS. When one week passed, I called to see what the deal was and she told me "I guess they haven't had time to come out yet." Gee, really? I kind of came to that conclusion WHEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! Idiot. So she gets snotty with me, like I'm the one being unreasonable for even calling to begin with. I hate that. Why am I the bad guy for wanting what they already promised? Fuck that. I got out the Yellow Pages (sorry, I realize times change, but I refuse to call it the Yellow Book now. I just do. Leave shit well enough alone already! Oy) and began making appointments with other services. I called 6 companies. Three actually answered. What's that about? And out of those 3, only 1 actually followed through and came out to give me an estimate.

Oh, and let me backtrack for a moment. When the people who originally trimmed the trees in my backyard a few years ago finally DID leave me an estimate (Which they chose to do when I wasn't there. Wise choice, because I probably would have laughed them out of my yard), you'll never in a million years guess what the price was they arrived at. First, a little backstory. Two years ago when I was getting estimates for getting the tree trimmed in the backyard, I also had the forethought to get an estimate for the dead Elm tree in the front yard. THEN he'd given me an estimate for "$250 + tax." THIS year he gave me an estimate for "$1,125...+ tax." ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED & TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS. My first thought was 'This motherfucker is smokin' some serious crack!' Can you believe it? What a deal, huh? $850 to just cut down the tree; $125 to grind the stump; and $150 for removal, etc. He included some long-winded mumbo jumbo about having to do with a city street, public sidewalk and permits. What a fucktard.

SO, the other estimate was for $425 + tax: $375 to remove the tree and $50 to grind the stump. Gee, guess who got the job. AND they too are insured and bonded (very important). So, if you live in the DFW area, and are in need of a fair tree service, be sure and call Rodriguez Tree Service, out of Dallas.

I started to make a collage of the whole tree removal process, but opted instead to make an animated gif. It's faster and takes up less space. And though it may sound bizarre, seeing the tree gone has been kind of a sad experience for me. To think it's probably been here since the house was built in 1940, all that history, all the things it's lived through, and now it's gone, is kinda sad to me. I miss it being there. But, I hope to eventually plant a Poplar tree there, so maybe everything will be back to normal over time.

Recent DVD Purchases

• Three's Company: Season 4 © 1979/1980
• The Mr. Moto Movie Collection: Vol. 1 © 1937-1939
Comments: Wow, the new transfer process they did for these movies makes them look really amazing. So nice to have crisp, clean copies of my favorite Mr. Moto movies.
• Astro Boy: Greatest Astro Adventures © 1963-1966
• The Nun © 2005
Comments: The movie got a lot of flack from "reviewers" (read teens old enough to rent a DVD, but can't spell 'DVD') over at IMDB. However, I thought the movie had a great premise and good special effects. And, even though a lot of the cast members didn't actually speak English (they learned their lines in English and recited them verbatim), I thought they did a good job. Their performances and/or the special effects didn't deter from the movie, for me anyway, one bit. Loved the concept that the victims were being killed in the same fashion as the Catholic Saints of lore. Fun movie!
• Pretty Persuasion © 2005
• The Deathmaster © 1972
• Saw II © 2005
• Superboy: Season 1 © 1988/1989
Comments: Wow. I don't know what to say about this one. You know how much I was looking forward to buying this boxset because the actor who played Superboy (John Newton) is so hot...plus the fact that it was an 8 0's TV show and you usually can't go wrong with that...usually. OMG, this show is sooooooooooooooooo bad. And not just in production 'values.' The acting is some of the worst, and trust me, I've seen some BAD acting. When the guy who plays Lex Luthor (Scott Wells) stepped onto the scene and said his lines, I, and I'm being totally serious here, thought maybe his over-the-top emotionless, stilted delivery of his lines would later tie into the fact that he was a robot or cyborg or something. But NO! he's just that BAD! OMG, that was really his 'acting!' Wow. SO bad. At least Newton looks good in his costume. That's about the best thing I can say about this movie. Cheap cheap CHEAP!
• Jackass boxset © 2000-2002
• The Pacifier © 2005
Comments: I know, I know. I too thought "What a cineturd!" when I initially saw the trailer for this movie. I thought "Oh dear Lord, Vin is gonna try to show us that he's 'versatile' and start doing more than just action movies." Well, when I found this used DVD at a pawn shop (FULLSCREEN, no less! And you know how I hate fullscreen) for $3, I thought "What the heck! Vin's hotness will override any lameness." Not so much. I'm keeping it for Vin, but that's about it. Soooo lame. I hope he's done experimenting and sticks to what he does best: action movies. There's no shame in that...unlike having this movie on your resume. And don't even get me started on that HORRIBLE-looking movie he did called Find Me Guilty. God, that looks stinky.
• Camp Slaughter © 2005
• She's the Man © 2006
• The Ellen Show: The Complete Series © 2001-2002
Comments: I LOVED this show. I think I may have even liked it a little more than her first TV series, Ellen (AKA These Friends of Mine). I wish this show had lasted longer, but I'm so happy that they released them to DVD. Now I can record over all my VHS copies. Funny, funny show. I still can't figure out why I love her in anything BUT her talk show. Her talk show just irks me for some reason. I dunno why. Can't stand it.
• 2046 © 2004
• Michael Grossi: Rollin' on 22's © 2006
• Superman and the Mole Men © 1951
Comments: My friend Nathan strikes again! Nathan dropped in last week and dropped off the latest batch of DVD-Rs he made for me. He's so nice. This is one of the DVD-Rs he made for me. Gotta love the original Superman, George Reeves! A fun movie if you can find it, though I've read that it was broken up into a 2-parter for the television series, which is now available on DVD.
• Meatballs Part II © 1984
Comments: Another DVD-R courtesy of Nathan. I remember initially not enjoying this movie because so many elements of the original weren't there (mainly the cast). However, this one grew on me over time and I love that there are so many familiar faces. Having rewatched it recently, I was a little disturbed that I found John Mengatti "hot," considering he was playing a teen...until I looked him up on IMDB and found out that he was actually THIRTY when he filmed the movie. LOL! I can now ogle him with a clear conscience.
• Killer Party © 1986
Comments: Yep, another DVD-R compliments of Nathan. Though he didn't care for this slasher with a possession twist, I dug it. I thought it was a lot of fun and enjoyed various elements. Fun, if you can find it.
• London © 2005
• Hardware © 1990
Comments: A totally underrated early 90's sci-fi thriller starring hunky Dylan McDermott. Though this is not on DVD, I bought this Unrated DVD-R on eBay.
• Hit the Deck © 1955
Comments: Nathan burned this to DVD-R for me from my VHS copy. With all the crap out on DVD, I can't figure out why more classics like this one haven't managed to make it to DVD yet. Though I'm not big on musicals, I do like this one, even though it does co-star Debbie Reynolds. God, she gets on my last nerve. I can't stand her peppy ass.
• Night of the Demon © 1980
Comments: If you like creepy Bigfoot movies, then you have GOT to get this DVD. The DVD is super-cheap and uncut. Creepy, creepy, creepy. Also, it has a large bodycount and plenty of the red stuff if you know what I mean. Where else are you going to see a biker get his dong relocated while taking a piss in the woods? That scene is worth the price alone! Wow. Like nothing you've seen before or will ever see again. *The original cover is terrible, so I used the artwork from the film poster. The one you want to get, looks like this.
• Man-Thing © 2005
Comments: The trailer for this looked so good and the whole Marvel comics tie-in helped, so I bought the movie (cheap) previously-viewed at Hollywood Video. The movie started out GREAT, unfortunately, the best part of the movie was the first 15 minutes. After that, it was all downhill from there. Soooo disappointing. You wait through literally 75% of the movie before you actually SEE Man-Thing, then when you do, he's a big CGI-laden bonsai tree on Steroids. Very disappointed. This had such potential. *The second Man-Thing image, next to the cover of the actual DVD, is what the REAL Man-Thing looked like (and should have looked like in the movie!) in the comic book.
• Hong Kong Phooey: The Complete Series © 1975-1975
• Magic © 1978
Comments: Though I already owned this movie on Hong Kong 'import' DVD (read DVD-R), it was the fullscreen version and had zero extras. I'm SO glad that I bought this newly-released version because it has so many great extras and is offered in Widescreen. Definitely worth it!
• Tupperware! © 2004
Comments: I first saw this documentary on PBS. It's such a fascinating and illuminating look into the woman behind Tupperware Though it might seem like a silly premise, it's definitely worth a look or even adding to your NetFlix queue. Its' premise is in the works to be made into a feature film.
• I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer © 2006
Comments: Wow. What a disappointment. I'd been waiting for this one to be released for what seemed like forever, then when it finally did, it sooooo didn't deliver. The movie is basically a remake of the original with the same character archetypes, not to mention that the movie is nearly halfway over before you even see The Fisherman and/or a murder takes place. LAME. And don't even get me started on the cornball 'twist.' Let's just say the franchise now has unlimited sequel potential a la Friday the 13th, Halloween, Hellraiser, etc.

*Sigh*

Well, I went to the big Labor Day book sale, at not one, but two of the Half Price Books stores, and I made out like a bandit! I'll be blogging about all the great book/DVD/CD goodness later. BUT I had to show you the adorable guy who rang my bell me up. So damn cute! ROWR!

Labor Day 80's Movie Marathon & Book Sale

I can't believe I neglected to blog about this on Friday, and I got sidetracked yesterday, BUT there is still plenty of time to enjoy some 80's movie madness, Encore-style. Encore is having their annual Labor Day 80's Movie Marathon, hosted by some of your favorite 80's celebrities. The marathon runs through September 4th and into the wee morning hours of Sept. 5th. Here's what's left of the lineup:

• A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon – 11:00 a.m.
• Ghostbusters – 12:35 p.m.
• Mystic Pizza – 2:30 p.m.
• Tango & Cash – 4:20 p.m.
• Blind Date – 6:15 p.m.
• Die Hard – 8:00 p.m.
• Road House – 10:15 p.m.

September 4th
• Robocop – 12:15 a.m.
• A Little Sex – 2:05 a.m.
• Krull – 3:50 a.m.
• Ghoulies Il – 6:00 a.m.
• Hard to Hold – 7:35 a.m.
• Batteries Not Included – 9:20 a.m.
• Like Father, Like Son – 11:15 a.m.
• Dragnet – 1:05 p.m.
• Maid to Order – 3:00 p.m.
• Casual Sex? – 4:40 p.m.
• Better Off Dead... – 6:15 p.m.
• The Terminator – 8:00 p.m.
• Revenge of the Nerds – 10:00 p.m.
• Blame it on Rio – 11:35 p.m.

September 5th
• Jagged Edge – 1:20 a.m.
• Driving Miss Daisy – 3:15 a.m.

Check local listings for time and channel! Oh, and for those who have a Half Price Books where you live, they are having a 20% off sale through tomorrow on everything in the store! I'm heading out to Dallas with some friends at 2, to take advantage of it!

Fascist Friday

Holy Shitake mushrooms, Batman! All of today's links/stories are so frothy with bullshit that I don't even know where to begin. They say a picture is worth a thousands words, so you can draw your own conclusions about all this tomfoolery. Thanks to these articles/links, I've concluded that 95% of so-called Christians are smokin' some serious crack. Shameful.


• I couldn't make cuckoo shit like this up. I swear this is an actual site and not a spoof site. "God gave her the idea." I think he may have also given her a brain aneurysm that burst a long time ago. But, on the bright side, marketing shit like this under the guise of 'spreading God's word' is big business I'm sure. Oh well, you know what they say: A fool and his money are soon parted. Amen to that. Click here for full info.

• Apparently Wal-Mart likes balls now. Well, at least for the sake of business. I love that the Religious Right (AKA "pro-family" : Translation: "anti anything that threatens the vacuum they live in") actually think that the people who shop there to begin with are gonna stop shopping there. PUHLEASE! If they can get their NASCAR merchandise and Hungry Man dinners there cheapest, that's where they're gonna go, I don't care if Wal-Mart signs a statement sayin' they're gonna fuck grandma in the ass with a tube of Denture Grip. Wal-Mart customers are just that: Wal-Mart customers. Click here for the full story.

• According to the American Family Association (AKA Fascist Families First) California governor, Ahnuld Schwarzenegger has just signed a measure which could "force" Christian colleges to either abandon biblical standards on sexuality or reject students who receive financial aid from the state. Click here for the full story.

I've chosen to end this post with a little silver lining that I found in the editorials section of the newspaper recently. It made me smile. Hopefully it will do the same for you.


And last, but not least, just for the heck of it.