Moneyback

I like Justin Timberlake. I know it's not "cool" to like him because of the whole former boy band stigma, but I really don't care, I still like him and his music. His first solo album was so great through and through so I was really looking forward to his new "comeback" album (whatever...not recording an album for 4 years does not constitute a 'comeback, in my opinion, but whatever, I digress).

Having heard and really liked the first single, Sexyback, the new album's promise was looking good. Anticipating great dancefloor grooves worthy of remixes aplenty (Alluded to by the whole Disco ball 'theme' on the cover, throughout the insert booklet and via photoshoots released to garner interest in the new album), I bought the new album yesterday. New. I paid full price. I want my money back. Here's why:

The album has 12 songs plus a Best Buy "exclusive" track, making it a grand total of 13 songs. There are 2 good tracks. That's it. One is the original single of which I spoke of previously and the other is Summer Love...providing the song isn't allowed to play its' entire 6 minutes and 24 seconds. Not unlike some movies, it needs to stop while it's ahead, clocking in at 4 minutes 10 seconds. If the song is allowed to play for the entire duration it gets too "slow jamz" for my tastes, and I think it enters the same bullshit territory the other 11 songs succumb to. I realize that "urban" music is all the rage amongst Gen Duh, but I am SO not into it. It all sounds like the same "smooth" shit. Justin seems to think Usher died and personally asked him to be in charge of bringin' slow jams back. It soooo doesn't translate into a good album.

Sure, Justin is attractive, has the celeb-appeal and above average R&B-style voice, but these songs are a real disappointment. I felt the same way about Madonna's last album and was pleasantly surprised when a few of the songs that seemed utterly forgettable were remixed and new life was breathed into an otherwise lackluster song. Attempting to use the same vision for Justin's songs, I can't even see them being remotely appealing, even with the best mixmaster ever. The remix would have to completely sound nothing like the original to be remotely club-friendly.

For someone who envisions himself 'changing the face of Pop music,' he's off to a less than stellar start. I don't even think his good looks (IMO) are enough to save this album, but then what do I know? Maybe he has a broader black fanbase that this will ultimately appeal to and possibly increase sales. Personally, I think this album's utterly forgettable and will ultimately end up in the discount bin. Let's hope his future albums are better than this one.

Epilogue: Over the weekend (since I wrote this piece) I've since read several reviews that seem to think this album is dick-hardening good. And since I can't seem to convey exactly how bad I think this album is, I've found a video over at Youtube that sums up my feelings, visual-style. Kick it one time, Black Hercules!:


Yes, it's that good.