Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Mental Goulash 12


Little things that piss me off: [1] Getting home from the grocery store only to find that one of my bags didn't make it because it's still on the 'convenient' turnstile-o-bags at the checkout counter. [2] When you begin to sneeze and are interrupted, then try to sneeze anyway but can't because now you have a captive audience. [3] Having a snotty nose, hurriedly reaching for a Kleenex and getting HALF or one as it shreds into a million pieces as you desperately scramble to get one whole tissue outta the box!
Why are "gel" pens so popular? Gimme a good ol' ballpoint any day.
A week or so ago, some local black guy decided he'd 'make a statement' about how The Black Man can't get a job, by kidnapping some woman truck driver and taking her hostage at gunpoint in her own 18 wheeler. He then proceeded to take the police on a 4-hour chase. After having several tires blown out and tear gas tossed into the vehicle, he was finally apprehended and the woman was unharmed. Here's the kicker: As the chase progressed through several cities, counties, etc., there were hoards of people parked and standing outside their vehicles on overpasses, at the sides of roads, etc. Several of which were cheering and holding homemade signs/poster boards, one of which said 'Keep On Truckin'. WTF is wrong with people? Idiots.
Watching a commercial for an episode of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days reality show, an upcoming episode told of how an atheist was to spend 30 days with a religious family. Ending with "Will she see the light?" WTF should she be the one seeing the "light?" The real question is, will the Christians she'll be staying with be able to accept anyone's beliefs other than their own?
How fucked up is it that it's 102º during the day...then a refreshing 100º at 10:30PM?! Texas may be the only place I know where a burglar can get heatstroke breaking into a home after sundown.
Evian has started making the mouth of their bottles larger. I like it.
Is it just me or are kids getting worse at spelling and grammar? I can understand a certain extent of slang, etc. (like, fer sure), but it seems like the majority are just LAZY when it comes to spelling words correctly ('juggalo'...'retarted'...). It's as if it's all being spelled phonetically. If you don't believe me, check out anyone under the age of 25's profile on MySpace.com. Truly depressing.
What's the deal with the random freakshow hair I occasionally find growing out of the middle of my forehead? I could put a fuckin' barrette on it.
I've noticed that most of the assholes who pull out in front of people, don't use their turn signals and/or drive like fucktards, usually have one thing in common (at least in this vicinity): They're 'patriotic' Americans. They always seem to have an American flag sticker, or magnetic ribbon of some variety, prominently displayed somewhere on their car. The hardcore ones have an American flag on their car antenna
Why do people want to see remakes of movies they've never seen the ORIGINAL of? And don't even get me started on those people who say "I think the remake was better than the original." Yeah, if only the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre had had a kickass soundtrack, cellphones and some half-ass CGI-generated effects, it would have TOTALLY kicked ass! Ech. Whatever.
Why do some people feel like the parking lot of a business is their chance to live out their dream of one day being a NASCAR driver? I can't tell you how many times in the last month that these morons come peeling through packed parking lots, then act all surprised when someone steps out in front of them, attempts to cross over to the store entrance and/or begins to back out of their parking space. Grrrrrr
Why do some employees ask if they can help you, then on the off chance that you actually need help...it turns out they can't help you afterall? Example: I walked into Office Depot the other day. A 12 year old in a shirt and tie runs up to me and offers "Is there anything I can help you with today?" I hold up my receipt and some pens and say I just wanted to exchange them for something else. He says "Oh. She can help you with that." then proceeds to point me in the direction of someone else. Thanks for nuthin', Potsie, now go back to text-messaging.
Why do I always pick up the one item that doesn't have a price or isn't in the computer system?
There's a girl who works at the video store I rent at that I can't STAND. She's such a snot-nosed bitch. I've never been anything but nice (who needs mysterious "late fees?"), but she consistently acts put out anytime she has to actually deal with a customer. So, it was with diabolic glee that I watched her rack herself on the swinging door as she rushed around trying to do everything BUT wait on me the other night. I may have special powers, I'm checking into it.
Why does opening a can of biscuit dough still makes me nervous after all these years?

8 Comments:

Anonymous Cheryl said...

Preach it, brutha! Right on! (I like to be supportive of people's rants.)

And if you and I went to the same store, we might cause a rip in the time-space continuum or something, because -I- always grab the one item that has no price! We should try it some time.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Inept employees irk me nearly to a point of insanity. If you have only 1 main snot-nosed bitch employee in your life, I think you're considered lucky.

And at least you can open the can. I leave the room and make someone else do it.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Cammie said...

This is my first visit to your blog but I've liked what I read so far.

For the gel pens, I really like them because they have a variety of colors and some have 'glitter' in it.

I'm under 25 and have a myspace but I think I'm that bad of a speller. But many of my classmates and people who are older than me who can't spell really well.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 1:11:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Cheryl-
Thank you mah sistah! You know how I love to complain. >;)

And speaking of the whole 'mystery price' thing, I now tell them my limit on what I want to pay and they usually just sell it to me for that price because they don't want to take the time to find out what the real price is. Wheee!

Thanks for commenting! :)

Lauren-
I suppose you're right, but I still hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. And she's not the only rude turd around town. Don't even get me started on "Reba" over at the thrift store, who apparently hates her job and any actions related thereto. She's a real treasure.

LOL! I hear ya about the biscuits. I just take a deep breath and turn away while I beat the cannister on the counter. The real heartstopper is when you're just taking the wrapper off and it pops right then! *faint* LOL!

Thanks for taking the time to comment! :)

Cammie-
Thanks! I'm glad you're diggin' my blog. Tomorrow's post will be the real test though. Hopefully you'll hang in there. ;)

You make a good point. The gels do come in a lot of cool colors. I remember buying one because it was orange. And I think someone gave me one once that was orange, glittery AND smelled good. I may have to rethink the gel thing...

True, while not all people under the age of 25 are complete illiterates, I have to tell you that the majority of the people in a couple of the chat rooms I've been to (yes, I'm a dork) UNDER the age of 25, have horrendous spelling "skillz." I'll have to post a few screen caps from the chats one of these days. It's friggin' SCARY. Seriously.

Thanks for taking the time to comment! :)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 8:56:00 AM  
Anonymous LOUP said...

I was cool with the biscuits until about 2 weeks ago I was in the store and put a couple of butter tastin' treats in my basket .. I no sooner rounded the corner to pick up some SoBe and a can exploded in my basket. There was dough EVERYWHERE. I wasn't even trying to open it. Now I just but the ready to go microwavable kind -- I do not want to be a victim again of dough-by violence.

Netflix baybee .. no snotty employees and all of the ORIGINALS you can stand.

As for gel pens .. I don't care about the ink as long as it doesn't smear (I'm a lefty) .. but I totally love the gel grip things on the outside of the pen --the squishier the better!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 3:50:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

LOUP-
Holy biscuit bomb, Batman! That is so weird that the can literally exploded. I thought you were going to say that it popped open in your cart, not blew dough everywhere. Wow. Someone better educate those people on keepin' their shit refrigerated!

I've actually contemplated Netflix, since a couple of my friends use it, but I'm one of those people who wants to actually hold the display box in my hand and read the synopsis. HOWEVER, with it hitting 105 friggin' degreees today, I'm seriously considering it again. I HATE venturing outside for ANYTHING lately. ECH! The environment...bleah. Gimme biodome any day.

Oh man, you totally hit on one of the reasons I don't like felt-tip and/or gel pens sometimes: the smearing/bleeding. I also dig the gel-grips, or any kind of cushioning on pens/pens, since the 80's. I always used to get this knotty callous on my finger when I would write, so I remember "back in the day" when I started buying those little cushion-y rests that you could pop on top of your pencil while writing. I just stumbled across one the other day, from the 80's, still on the pencil! I wonder if they still make those? I bet they do. More cushion for the pushin', baby! ;)

Thanks for commenting! Glad that you are doing alright :)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 4:59:00 PM  
Blogger Mon said...

oh oh oh, opening biscuit dough makes me nervous too? wtf...just waiting for that pop...as if it's an explosion? I thought I was the only one!

Thursday, August 17, 2006 4:42:00 PM  
Anonymous LOUP said...

re: squishy aftermarket pen grips ... yup I have a whole bunch of them ... I buy a bundle, try them and find that they aren't squishy enough!!

I STILL have my callous!! Left hand ring finger fist knuckle.

Best pens I've ever found ... Sensa and the latest Dr Grip zero gravity.

Friday, August 18, 2006 8:44:00 AM  

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