Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Food for Thought


Hamburger Helper Microwave Singles
When I saw this in the grocery store, I initially thought "What a great concept!" thinking that it would be along the lines of Kraft's Easy Mac. I personally don't like Easy Mac, but it seems to be popular. Knowing that I like the original varieties of Hamburger Helper, I bought TWO boxes, anticipating a new love affair.

Having followed the directions implicitly I opened the microwave and stirred what looked to be the byproduct of a rabbit taking a power dook in some runny cheese soup. The instructions said to allow the concoction to stand uncovered for 3 minutes, promising that the sauce would 'thicken as it cools.' Three minutes later and the sauce hadn't thickened and still resembled the diarrhea with pasta that originally emerged from the microwave.

Since the box boasted "Meat Included!," I took the opportunity to read the ingredients on the side of the box: Freeze dried cooked seasoned ground beef. I looked back at the steaming bowl of dookie goulash. Against my better judgement, I took a bite. If you like tasteless beef jerky nuggets, powdered cheese and flavorless pasta then this is the product for you! If you don't, then bypass this product and fix the original Hamburger Helper. You know, the one wherein you use real fresh ground beef (chicken, tuna...).

Bad Bad BAD. No wonder this crap is already in the discount bin, just 2 weeks after it's debut.
Mad-Croc Energy Gum: Power Peppermint
I have to admit I bought this for two reasons: [1] The packaging and [2] The larger pieces of gum. I spit this out for 1 reason: It was godawful! I'd rather lick the sawdust out of a wooden leg before I chewed another piece of this shitball 'energy' gum. If you wanna see for yourself, the makers are giving away free samples via their website. Prepare to 'Power' yak.
Dairy Queen Moolatte: Cappuccino
Believe it or not, I may be one of the last people on the planet to try an iced coffee drink. Since I don't frequent coffee establishments nor drink it (except in the fall or winter), I'm outta the java loop. Well, I was recently craving a Cappuccino/Heath Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but was seduced by their new frosty, whipped cream-topped Mocha Moolatte (also available in Caramel, French Vanilla and Hazelnut varieties). I ordered one and was instantly smitten. DELICIOUS. Next time: Hazelnut! Highly recommended!
Starbucks Coffee Frappuccino Ice Cream Bars: Mocha
Craving some form of ice cream bar, but unable to locate anything that wasn't fat/sugar/carb-free, and since I'm a big fan of Starbuck's JavaChip ice cream, I (somewhat skeptically) took a chance on their "Low Fat" Mocha ice cream bars. Again, DELICIOUS. Surprisingly good! I will definitely be buying more and found it somewhat amusing that the box boasted "Now 6 Bars." My first thought was 'WTF? How many bars were there originally? 4? Good Grief!' Starbuck's and their pretentious marketing ploys.
FlatOut Bread: Traditional
I used to buy pre-made turkey wraps at the Super Target deli all the time. They were so good, but then they stopped putting shredded carrots in them (great for crunch!) and started putting this really fake-y "smoked" bacon in them. It's just awful. Tasted like someone had been blowing cigarette smoke directly into each wrap. Bleah!

So, while getting some pepper turkey sliced while on a recent outing to Tom Thumb, I noticed a display rack of FlatOut Bread. I was tempted to buy the Sun-dried Tomato or the Garden Spinach varieties, but opted for the Traditional. Well, let me tell you, I may never use white bread to make a turkey sandwich again. They're that good! Throw a little turkey, Provolone cheese, lettuce and/or baby spinach, shredded carrots and/or thinly-sliced cucumber, sprouts and/or Claussen Sandwich Slices, add some Ranch dressing or that new Wishbone Balsamic Breeze Vinaigrette Dressing in a spray, and you've got something seriously delicious.
Fruity Cheerios
I like Cheerios, I even like Honey Nut Cheerios. Heck, I even like their Apple Cinnamon Cheerios! So when I heard about their new Fruity Cheerios variety, of course I had to try them.

I first tried them straight from the box. SO good. Not too sweet, but enough to satisfy those of us who prefer sweetened cereals. Also, a pleasant surprise for anyone who is "old school" like me, they taste just like what Trix cereal used to taste like before they got turned into the super-fruity flavored, shellacked fruit-shaped shadow of their former selves.

I have to admit I do prefer them straight out of the box, though they're good in milk as well. I just felt like they lost something in translation, once combined with milk. I'm sure they'll grow on me over time, providing they stick around long enough. Definitely worth a try, especially if you miss the original flavor of Trix cereal.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Cheryl said...

The Starbucks low-fat ice cream is actually really good, though of course now I am blanking out on the name of the flavor I always buy.

Also, NEVER believe a package when it says the dreaded phrase "product will thicken upon standing." Oh no it will NOT! Ever! Anything that says that must be cooked for an additional 5-10 minutes. Never fails.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 7:39:00 AM  
Blogger Dave2 said...

Now if only they would come out with Chocolate Cheerios that taste like Cocoa Puffs USED to taste before they were ruined by becoming "extra chocolately" - which apparently means smaller, harder, shellacked, and more artificial tasting.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 8:20:00 AM  
Blogger girlzoot said...

That totally sucks about the gum. I was going to try it because they use sugar, and I just would like once to find a gum again that has sugar instead of aspertame.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Marvo said...

Mad Croc gum is definitely bad. Blech! I can't believe they're still producing the stuff. Also, I'm looking forward to trying the Fruity Cheerios because I could use some cheer in my life.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 1:43:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Cheryl-
It's so weird how your tastes change over time. I distinctly remember being totally "grossed out" by my mom's love of (the now defunct) Brach's Coffee Candy. I thought it smelled and tasted sooo bad. Now I wish I could try some. LOL. Weird.

Dave-
You never know. That's not a bad idea though. The only chocolate cereal I ever liked was discontinued (the Quik Chocolate cereal). I don't care what anyone says, sometimes a step forward IS a step backward. Some things should just be left alone.

Girlzoot-
Well, you could always get a free sample via their web site. Who knows, you might like it, or maybe one of the other flavors is good, I dunno. All I know is that the Peppermint was TERRIBLE.

Marvo-
Well, whatever you do, don't resort to "all temper"Cheer. Though, it couldn't taste any worse than the Mad-Croc Energy Gum. LOL!

Friday, August 11, 2006 4:32:00 AM  

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