Friday, September 02, 2005

U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi...

I was hoping to avoid exposing you to this, but I can't resist. I must. I found this picture over at Celebrity Smack a while back and knew I had to share it. Actually, Brandon over at Down With Pants inspired me to share. He's blogged on more than one occasion about the comedian Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson, so I knew he (Brandon) in particular would appreciate this post.

Where do I begin? On one hand, I actually don't have a problem with Carrot Top. To be honest, I haven't thought much about him since the turdtastic, Pee Wee's Big Adventure-wannabe movie that he made back in 1998: Chairman of the Board.

I don't get why people seem to hate him so much. If being ugly were a crime Renee Zellweger would have a warrant out for her arrest.

I found it strange that the overwhelming comment, in regards to the photo originally posted at Celebrity Smack, were from people who were grossed out by Carrot Top's vascularity. For some reason that seems to gross a lot of people out. I dunno why. I call it the "Bodybuilder Syndrome" since most men/women seem to think bodybuilder's vascularity is "gross." Eh, I guess I find other things much more disturbing...like his penchant for eye makeup.

This is all I have to say about the whole Carrot Top's "miraculous" transformation from ectomorph to mesomorph: This is nothing more than a male case of "Butter face." I don't care what anyone says, you can have the best body on the block, but that's not gonna change the fact that you have a face like a salamander with Down Syndrome.

I've seen this scenario played out a hundred times in a hundred different ways:

• Gay men who are radioactive, overcompensate by getting a killer bod (pun intended).
• Short guys turn to bodybuilding to compensate for what they lack in height, with width.
• Aging men/women turn into gym rats to deter from the fact that they're AARP card is in the mail.
And the list goes on.

So yeah, Carrot Top may have pecs of steel, but he's still got face of butt.

4 Comments:

Blogger Mariana said...

I keep learning new expressions from you. I can just see it, Kirk the English teacher. ;)

Friday, September 02, 2005 7:08:00 AM  
Anonymous kris said...

a face like a salamander with Down Syndrome

hahahahahahaaaaaa....

Friday, September 02, 2005 4:23:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Mariana-
Lol! I dunno if I'm someone you should be learning from. I may turn you into a sarcastic cynic. ;)

Kris-
Heh heh, well, it's true. Just look at that puss. *shiver* ;)

Sunday, September 04, 2005 7:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Alf Mushpie said...

If that pic ain't faked, then steroids gotta be involved.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:19:00 PM  

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