Monday, October 30, 2006

Grief and Steak & Ale

I reluctantly went to the funeral. In retrospect, I'm glad I did. And in the end, I did it more for me and not for Lolita (Ms. Fossil's granddaughter, whom I consider one of my friends). There were less than 20 people there and I was only 1 of two people who was invited (it was a private ceremony) that wasn't family. That made me feel sorta special.

I arrived at 11, but chose not to "view the body." And no, it's not because it's 'creepy' or spooky or whatever. I just think it's morbid and pointless. It's one of those ceremonial funeral things that really irks me. I have no idea why you would want to deliberately mentally scar yourself by making that the last visual you have of someone you love. My mom did it with her mother (VERY bad car was a closed casket ceremony, with exception to the children; my mother and her 3 brothers) and personally, I think it really fucked her up, mentally. Maybe I'll have a change of mind when it hits closer to home, but as it stands, I think there's nothing to be gained by it.

The day was cold and windy and the ceremony was short but sweet. I didn't see many people crying, with the exception of Ms. Fossil's sister. SISTER. Who knew? Ms. Fossil was 93 (would have been 94 this December), so I never even contemplated that she had any living siblings. During the eulogy, the funeral director (? I don't think he was a preacher) mentioned that if there was one thing that Ms. Fossil didn't like, it was "long funerals" (this got a big laugh from everyone) and that she wouldn't want everyone to be sad or dwell on the negative. So, with that said...

After the ceremony, everyone went to Steak & Ale for lunch. I rode with Lolita and some woman she works with. It was 'okay.' I mean I had a good time (which sounds awful, I suppose, but I told myself "She'd want it this way.") and the waiter was a 7ft hunka hunka burnin' love, BUT I've never really understood the whole connection with funerals and food. But, being a slave to the rhythm, I have to admit I did take some banana nut bread and tuna salad/box of crackers over to her house, for the family, so I guess the beat goes on, huh? I don't know if it's just a Texas thing or what, but as long as I can remember: Funeral = potluck. Go figure. All in all, the funeral "experience" was nowhere near as bad as I'd anticipated. I hadn't been to a funeral since my grandmother died in 1987 (I think), so I was realllly dreading it, but it turned out alright in the end.

BTW, on a somewhat similar note, after much contemplating, I have begun a third blog. The blog will be where I vent about personal things that I can't blog about here because everyone I know knows of this blog (just one of the many drawbacks of lacking humility). I was considering going back to my "old school" journal (read Composition Book) for these things, but this has proven to be much more convenient. Besides, this way I can get all these thoughts out of my head without running the risk of alienating the few friends I do have.

The new blog is not included under this account name, nor will it be linked to here. However, on the off chance that you're remotely interested in the continuing saga (and backstory) of the whole Fossil mania, as well as my occasional unfettered frustration with friends, family, etc., you can e-mail me and request the URL. *This offer is void in Texas


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think funerals = food everywhere in the US, or at least the South, since I've never been to a "Yankee" funeral.

I'm glad Mrs. Fossil had a nice sendoff.

Monday, October 30, 2006 3:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Dave2 said...

It's because eating makes you happy to be alive after somebody has died??

Monday, October 30, 2006 9:33:00 PM  
Blogger Terri said...

It's from the olden days whe people lived very far apart and going to someone's funeral might be an entire day's travel. You fed the family and friends before they made the long journey home.

We have always had a meal after a "Yankee" funeral.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 8:11:00 AM  

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