Crosswalks: Society's Mind Bogglers

Where I live there are 3 main streets that run parallel to each other: Collins, Cooper and Bowen. I often take Bowen because it bypasses the throng of idiots I'd run into over on Cooper. You know, all those people who love shopping at the mall, sharing their kickass bass their car stereo has to offer and getting moist over the mere mention of The Olive Garden ("They have the best breadsticks!"). You know the types.

Half way down Bowen, there is an elementary school. It's not literally off the side street, but it's somewhat nearby. So, I'm (as well as 4 other vehicles; 2 in front, two in back of me) in the ONE lane to turn left and I see this huge procession of children being led by alleged adults, across the street I want to turn onto...but we can't because these retards in charge of school children are allowing them to continually stream across the street even though the crosswalk sign says otherwise. And they continue...and continue...and continue. While these morons let what seems like a neverending procession of children cross the street, the rest of us are (Myself and the others behind me, coming from the north that want to turn left + the line of vehicles coming from the south, waiting to turn right) left to sit through not 1 but THREE traffic light changes. WTF is wrong with people? I'm all for patience, within reason, but this borders on retarded.

*At this point not even half the kids have finished crossing the street yet.

Later that day, yet another crosswalk sign manages to elude some dumbasse's realm of perception, when I'm stopped at a corner, waiting to turn right and he's stopped ON the corner, on his bicycle. The light turns green for me to cross. I check the crosswalk sign (because I'm paranoid I'm gonna turn, thinking I have the right-of-way, and run over someone's ass), it has the RED hand that means STOP/DON'T CROSS, so I start to turn and the fucktard on the bike slowly rides out in front of me. I throw on my breaks in order not to hit the moron, throwing all the stuff in the seat, into the floorboard. Unfortunately, it never dawns on me, until after the fact, that I should have laid on the horn, not that'd it matter. I'm sure he'll go on to do it again somewhere else.

Also, at what point did people stop hurriedly getting their ass across the street, even when they have the right-of-way? I swear the kids at the school zones deliberately walk slow, whether it be elementary-high school. And don't even get me started on the dumb motherfuckers who saunter across your path in shopping centers. Taking their time, talking on the cellphone, everything short of reading a book. I never assume just because I have the right-of-way as a pedestrian, that when I go to cross traffic in a shopping center parking lot, that people are automatically going to stop for my ass. Personally, I think the whole sue-happy culture we live in these days has contributed to this dumb shit (re: people sauntering out in front of cars). I can't tell you how many times I've had people take their sweet fuckin' time crossing in front of me. There are times when I wanna pull a Halle Berry on their ass, but you know anyone who isn't a celebrity, wouldn't be gettin' no "200 hours of community service" and a slap on the wrist. Must be nice to be above the law. Whatever.