SUV Simpletons

See these vehicles? They're owned by dumbasses. This is why people get their cars keyed. This is also why people like me want to get a sledgehammer and go John Henry on their goddamn windshield. There's zero excuse for this level of retardery.

If you can't park your car into a fuckin' parking space, then maybe your in the wrong car. Maybe you need to take that cell phone away from your ear long enough to park properly. Maybe you shouldn't be driving one of these retardmobiles if you don't know how to maneuver it properly in the first place. Maybe you need to do us all a favor and shoot yourself in the face right now. You stupid asshole, you.

And in case you're wondering, this ISN'T an occasional occurrence. I see this kind of bullshit on a daily basis. Why, just the other day there was a car parked directly in front of the grocery store, blocking traffic, with their hazard lights on. Apparently they're more important than anyone else and so was their errand. Naturally, there's never a fuckin' cop around when this kind of dumb shit happens. If I ever tried to pull that kind of dumb shit I'd get a ticket so fast I wouldn't have time to blink. People are ignorant assholes.

Thank you. This rant was brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U.'