Observations

Throughout the day, while sitting at stop lights, running errands, etc, I'm witness to lots of things. Here's some of them:

Remember that game "telephone?" The one you used to play as a kid. Where the first person whispers something to the next person and by the time the phrase gets passed around the room and gets back to you, it's been transformed into something else completely? This happened to me recently when I was without my usual pad and pen. I was trying to mentally/verbally remind myself to pick up the following items at the grocery store: spaghetti, scrubber (dishes) and ice. By the time I got to the store I was looking for confetti a rubber and rice. SIGH. My mind is already going and I'm just 33.

Saw a hunkalicious guy in the truck to the right of me, while stopped at a stoplight. His muscly arm was hanging out the window of his truck. I gathered the nerve to sneak another glance over... only to see that he had pulled his arm inside and was diligently digging on a scab. My bubble has officially burst.

Lol! Just heard a lame commercial while listening to the radio in the car. It was for some club in Dallas that was having a "Ladies Special." The first 50 women in the club on Friday night get a "VIL" card. The "VIL" stands for "Very Important Lade-eh (Lady)." The card entitles them to free admission and free drinks for life! ::snicker:: Viva l'alcoholism! I'm so glad I'm not a woman.

Ack! Note to the general public: Once you reach a certain age, you should not be jogging/running without a shirt. If it's too hot for you to wear a shirt, it's too hot for you to exercise. Maybe it's just my geographical area, but it never ceases to amaze me just how many men around here feel compelled to go topless, all in the name of exercise. If exercise is your thing, then cool, more power to ya. But let's be realistic about our body image, okay Sparky? Let's cover it up.

I am definitely in redneck country. While parking, I noticed the truck in front of me had one bumper sticker that said "Don't run your fingers over my truck and I won't run my truck over your fingers" and then another one that said "Try Jesus!" Ah, Texas!

Some stupid bitch in front of me is driving so slow that every car behind me has bypassed us. Let's pick up the pace Dream Weaver!

I call her Dream Weaver because she has some fuckin' huge, view-obscuring dreamcatcher thing hanging from her rearview mirror. It looks like one of Mr. T's earrings.

I'm in the post office parking lot. What's the deal with men and big trucks? A truck just parked next to me that is so tall that I expect to see one of those chained fire ladders hanging from the window ledge. Has those big-ass tractor-style tires, too. Every time I see that goofy shit I automatically assume the guy is totally whipped and lashing out the only way he can: through his choice in vehicle. And/or he's compensating for penis size. Either way, l-a-m-e.

That's it. I have officially O.D'ed on the whole firefighter/policeman hero worship fad that has swept the nation ever since 9-11 happened. Not to mention the barrage of TV shows and movies being made about them. They're dangerous jobs. We get it. But, you know what? It's also a choice, so don't expect a pat on the back from me until you've done something tangible that directly affects me. I've yet to have an encounter with a cop who wasn't a total arrogant asshole. They know they're above the law and around here, they all get discounts on everything from cars to meals to movie rentals. I just overheard a commercial about donating MORE money to firefighters. It started out like this: (little boy's voice) "My daddy's a hero. He goes in places normal people wouldn't want to go." My first thought is: "What? He's a gynecologist? Walmart cashier?" Ugh. We get it. Milk this fad while you can, it won't last forever. Let's see some hero worship for the school teachers out there. I can get behind that.

While at Best Buy, I saw Kirsten Dunst's white trash doppelganger. She looked just like her, but this one had on a tube top, cutoff Daisy Dukes, a black eye and a cigarette. Pretty!