WTF Moments
* This week's WTF Moment is doing double duty as both What The Fuck and What's That Fragrance? Okay, so technically, this is last week's WTF Moments, but I just now got around to writing about them. Enjoy!
I bought these new Jimmy Dean breakfast croissant sandwiches that you put in the microwave. They were on sale, and I thought "what the hell." So, one night I decide I am gonna make one for dinner. The package says to put it in the microwave and cook for 55 seconds. I take one out of the package, wrap it in a papertowel, as directed, and go to finish up some work in the computer room. Four-five minutes later, I smell burning. Being the neurotic that I am, my first thought is "oh my god, I'm smelling things that aren't there. I'm schizophrenic!" Then I think "Wow, I'm typing so fast, I smell smoke!" Then the smoke alarm goes off and I know I'm not crazy...yet. So I get to the living room and there is a hazy smoke lingering near the ceiling and the kitchen is filled with smoke. I haul ass to the kitchen and turn off the microwave, open the door and a cloud of smoke escapes from within. Professor Kirk punched in 55 MINUTES, instead of seconds! Derr! I can barely breath, so I run away to get a breath of air in another room, but before I do, I hit the fan on the vent over the oven. I then come back, with a towel covering my mouth, so I can open the window in the kitchen and the den: Envision the community theater version of The Towering Inferno Meets Not Without My Daughter. I get the windows open and turn on every fan in the house. A week later, I still can't get the burnt popcorn-smell out of the microwave! I've burned candles, sprayed odor neutralizers, cleaned the microwave, nothing seems to be working. I'm currently looking for remedies, from vinegar to baking soda. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. The smell is driving me nuts!
It's raining Thursday when I go to the UPS place to ship a package. What luck! There are three consecutive parking spaces right in front of the store! I'm glad, because the item I'm shipping is in a 5 ft. box. I go inside, get things taken care of, and as I'm leaving, there is a guy coming in that has his hands full with a large box. I hold the door open for him, so he can come in. He thanks me, and I say "you're welcome." As I leave, I notice there is some chick off to the right of the door, under the awning shaking out her umbrella. As I go to get in my car, I notice that the motherfucker on the left of me, parked too goddamn close, so I have to maneuver my way around their side mirror on their passenger side and my side mirror on the driver's side. As I'm inching through the small space their wonderful parking skills have allotted me, I bend their mirror forward and get grime on my new white shirt! I say "oops" ('cause the bitch with the umbrella is still right there, watching me like a goddamn hawk) and bend their side mirror back where it was (it's one of those new SUV's with the accordian-style bendy mirrors), and try to open my door wide enough to inch inside my fuckin' truck. In the process, I accidentally hit their car and think "Fuck it. Yeah, keep lookin' bitch, don't park so goddamn close next time!" I look over at her, to see if she's still observing and she quickly looks down and gets really interested in her umbrella. I hate fuckin' stupid people.
On the lighter and more fragrant side of life, there are some new products out there that I want to talk about. I'll readily admit I am somewhat of a cleaning product/new product groupie. I love packaging and sometimes the packaging design gets the best of me. I remember when Swiffer first came out, I thought it was the best thing ever! I still love it. Viva la Swiffer! Well, Febreze has 2 new products out. One is called the Scentstories Player. Here's a synopsis courtesy of the Febreze site: "The Scentstories player and disc themes work much like an audio CD player. Just insert one of the themed discs and push play. The player then circulates the five scents on each disc, one by one, with a new scent every 30 minutes. Together, the Scentstories player and disc create a new-to-the-world scent experience."
The player may offer a new to the world scent, but I wasn't born yesterday. The player costs $35, which I think is too steep, but it's new, so maybe the price will go down. And the discs are $6 each. The discs currently come in five "Scentstories": • Exploring A Mountain Trail (and being mauled by a bear), • Walking Barefoot On The Shore (watch out for broken bottles!), • Strolling Through The Garden (and stepping in dog crap), • Relaxing In The Hammock (and getting sunburned) and my least favorite • Shades of Vanilla (God, how I detest the smell of vanilla! Blech!), which is the only disc that ironically has a black woman on it. Go figure. I saw the discs and player at the store recently and the discs have a scratch-n-sniff sticker on em' (such a great idea, btw), and I think I'd like the Barefoot On The Shore disc best and then Exploring A Mountain Trail as second choice. I totally want one of these things, but I'll wait until the price drops.
posted by Kirkkitsch @ 6:39 AM
1 Comments:
Alas, Kimmi, no, the new Febreze Air Effects does NOT work on this smell. Though I LOVE the smell, as well as the design of the container, I honestly don't think I would buy it again. Why, you ask? Here's why: 1) I notice that when sprayed, the mist leaves a thin (if fleeting) sticky coat on whatever it falls on. No thanks. 2) The smell, though FANTASTIC is fleeting. And 3) For $2 more I could have bought a bigger bottle of the regular Febreze (Deep Clean scent. Mmmm!) and made it go a lot further.
BUT, alas! You know what? I got the smell out of my microwave (and subsequently, the house)! I had just read online that you could place bunches of crumpled up newspaper inside the microwave (don't turn it on, of course!) and leave it, and that the paper would absorb the smell. Well, before I could try it (I totally think it would have worked, too), I solved the problem myself. Here's what happened:
Whenever I have leftover bread that is getting stale, just starting to spot with mold and/or was cheap and is starting to smell funky, like yeast, instead of throwing it away, I toss it in the freezer. After I have accumulated maybe 4-5 bags of misc. bread, hot dog buns, etc., I take them all out, put them in a plastic grocery sack to thaw and then go feed them to the cute lil' ducks at a nearby pond. Well, I had them sitting in the sink all day, ready to take them to Duckland tomorrow, but before I went to bed, my obsessive-compulsive neatness behavior got the best of me, so I tossed the entire bag-o-bread into the microwave to get it outta sight. This afternoon, I went to get the bread, and 'lo and behold, the smell in the microwave was GONE! Instead, the plastic bag and its' contents had absorbed the stinky smell! Hooray! The ducks missed out this time around, but I made out like a bandit. Viva le OCD!
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