Shallow Be Thy Name -or- Run Fast! Jesus Hates a Slowpoke!

Okay, here's the deal. I'm unfortunate enough to live down the street from one of the biggest religious monstrosities this side of the PTL waterslide. For the purpose of this blog, the building calls itself Billfold Baptist "Church."

So, what's my beef with this spiritual Wal-Mart?

[1] That I and the rest of the "heathens" who don't go to this church have to be burdened with their flock crossing the street back and forth to one of the various parking lots every Sunday, Wednesday and any other day of the week they happen to decide to gather. And [2] The fact that so many of today's churches have turned into these huge, faceless corporations.

The church I speak of currently takes up 3 city blocks. Their most recent acquisition of the remaining adjacent land prompted them to build what had originally appeared to be a multilevel parking garage. Initially I was appalled by the mere fact that they had bought yet another 2 blocks to develop even more spiritual skyline. But then when I THOUGHT it was to build adequate parking, so their people will stop crossing a main street (from a store parking lot to the church across the street.), I thought "Finally! They got some sense." Alas, this was not the case. As the building has progressed it is evident it is not going to be a multilevel parking facility, but a 3,500 SEAT AUDITORIUM! I find this absolutely ridiculous beyond belief. I know what you're thinking "Well duh, you live in the Bible belt." I know this, but it still pisses me off that these sort of cosmic cash machines continue to be built. It's amazing how churches continue to thrive, even during such a bad economy while people who could really benefit from the church's supposed sanctuary are ignored because they live on the fringe of society or aren't fabulous enough. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they do a swell job at Christmastime. It's such a waste of resources. Praise the Lord, churches are "nonprofit" organizations. I'd like to see the humble dwelling of this congregation's preacher.

I mean c'mon, does The Lord really need to be "worshipped" via a sound system that rivals an IMAX heater, while the preacher is being broadcast in Dolby Digital on 2 huge plasma screens? Do real churches really need 4 racquetball courts, A "Brides' Room," 2 gymnasiums, 2 weight rooms, a game room, a "Media Center" and a series of elevators in which to gain access to all THREE levels? Seriously! I swear I'm not making any of this up. And they're building even MORE! Gimme a fuckin' break. If this is what being a "Christian" has come to, I'll gladly pass. I mean, I'm all for people participating in and/or believing in whatever gives them faith, etc. BUT what I am opposed to is this whole concept that 'bigger is better.' Personally, I'd much rather belong to a smaller congregation where I was more than "Parishioner in row 8A, section C." The fact that so-called churches like this exist, and better yet, continue to thrive, is really disheartening to me. I find it very sad that something that was once considered to be sacred and personal, like going to church service, has become just another venue for pretentious greed. And if there's any doubt that that's exactly what it is, they even have their own website where, among other options, you can "Set up scheduled giving," online. Naturally, this option has a predominant place on their webpage. It's just a mouse click away. Just in case you can't physically make it there, you're money can. Ack! Calgon, take me away!