Monday, March 13, 2006

Get Thee to a Newsstand! Part 2

This issue of Men's Health was full of so many great articles that I had to dedicate an entire post to it. Jason Statham is what initially drew me to purchase this issue (God, is he HOT or what? Dayum!), plus when you flip the issue over, cutie James Franco is on the other cover. He's cute, but he's no Jason Statham!

I always enjoy all the little polls that Men's Health always seem to have plenty of, as well as the "insightful" articles on how to be a ladies man. LOL! Sorry, but some of these articles, though interesting to read, in actuality, do nothing more than promote those bullshit mind games that so many people claim to hate.

Men's Health
Articles of interest:
Ask The Girl Next Door: "My wife wants a baby, but I'm not ready. How do I stall?"

Question of the Month: Which famous body part would you most like to have?
Michelangelo's David's abs- 41%
Albert Einstein's brain- 28%
Dirk Diggler's unit- 17%
Hulk Hogan's arms- 7%
Lance Armstrong's legs- 6%

Men and Mortality:
Do you fear death? 40%-Yes 60%-No
Do you believe in an afterlife? 72%-Yes 28%-No
Do you believe in reincarnation? 22%-Yes 78%-No
What do you fear most about getting old?
Not being attractive to women.
Driving a cart through Wal-Mart.
Pain, regret and mourning my lost youth.
Being a burden to relatives.

What do you most look forward to about getting old?
Seeing my 2-year-old son grow into the incredible person I know he will be. { Yeah, whatever. They're all gonna change the world, right? }
Driving really slowly with my directional on.
Wisdom and a sense of peace.
Flirting with hot, young nurses. { 'cause if there's one thing "hot nurses" love is a horny, old man. Not. }

Sex Bulletin: Artsy types get more sex, according to a study of 425 men and women. The journal Proceedings of the Royal Society reports that professional artists and poets averaged 4 to 10 sex partners in their lifetime, while the average for non-creative folks was 3.
Nutrition Bulletin: Eating margarine may raise the risk of asthma.
• In a new study, researchers in New York City report that depressed people who take 600 micrograms of chromium picolinate a day significantly reduce their carbohydrate cravings.
• Scientists at the University of Texas have discovered that walnuts, which contain melatonin, aid in restful sleep and may aid in preventing gallstones (are you listening, Dave?).
McDonald's Filet-O Fish (380 calories) is a healthier snack than the Burger King Big Fish Sandwich (630 calories), when you're craving fish.

The Girlfriend Gauntlet: She's not a keeper until she passes these tests:
The Trait: Responsibility
The Test: Play the blame game. Next time she rear-ends someone during rush hour or spills coffee on her lap, listen to her postgame analysis. "Successful couples focus on positive," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a psychiatrist and the author of The Secret of Happily Married Men. "Is she the eternal victim? Or does she accept responsibility?"

The Trait: Patience
The Test: Talk about work. The story of the time she made an intern cry may have made you laugh, but all that attitude won't stay cooped up in cubicle land. "If she tears a coworker a new one for no reason, watch out. Her attitude at work will show what she's really like under pressure," says John Van Epp, Ph. D., author of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk.

The Trait: Empathy
The Test: Take her shopping. Malls are buffets of human interaction — peeved customers, airhead clerks, moms with kids, all of them begging for vitriolic color commentary. "You want to see empathy for the stressed and clueless. If she thinks most situations and solutions are clear-cut, expect the same absolutism with you." says Dr. Haltzman.

The Trait: Adaptability
The Test: Make last-minute plans. Sure, you were planning to see a chick flick, but now the only film not sold out is Scary Movie 19. Relationships change constantly, so see if she can roll with it. Another time, show up 15 minutes late. If things like that set her off, "She will have no problem finding ways you disappoint her," Dr. Haltzman says.

The Trait: Flexibility
The Test: Cook dinner at her place. If she's a control freak who can't cede dominion over her kitchen, she'll have a hard time letting you take the reins elsewhere in life. Even if she's a gourmet, she should still willingly accept your different, yet still effective, way of chopping carrots, says Pat Love, Ed. D., author of The Truth About Love.

The Trait: Confidence
The Test: Deprive her of the spotlight. Take her to a friend's party, then watch her mingle. Does she seek constant male attention? Could be needy. Dodges women? Not good: Women "deliver necessary honesty' to other women, says Love. Also she knows that your female friends will offer a more realistic review of her. Talking with them show brass.

Guy Wisdom: "I'm a lawyer, but I have a crush on the girl at the hot-dog stand. Can this relationship actually work?"
Win Her Back: 16 ways to revive a dying relationship { Yeah, that's not an exercise in futility. Be sure and salvage that shitball relationship by "wooing" her all over again. ::eye roll:: }
Hunting Hemingway

This issue will be on sale through March 21st.


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