Don't Let Her Be Misunderstood. Whatever.

Alba Demands Playboy Pull Magazines
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Jessica Alba is demanding that Playboy pull its March issue, saying she didn't agree to be on the cover and that the image may mislead readers into thinking she appears nude or partially nude in the magazine. The cover shows the 24-year-old actress in a bikini, next to the headline ``25 Sexiest Celebrities.'' Besides demanding that Playboy stop distributing the March issue, Alba is asking for ``monetary settlement'' for damages to her reputation and career.

In a Feb. 23 letter obtained by The Smoking Gun Web site, Alba's lawyers told Playboy the magazine used a photo of Alba meant to promote the movie ``Into the Blue'' without her consent. Sony Pictures, which owns the image, sent a separate letter alleging that Playboy initially offered to pay Alba to pose for the cover of the issue. When her publicist refused, Playboy resorted to using ``false pretenses'' to obtain the promotional shot, according to the letter.

``Playboy has violated my personal rights and blatantly misled the public who might think I had given them permission to put me on the cover when I didn't,'' Alba said in a statement.

A Playboy spokeswoman said Alba was placed on the cover after being chosen ``sexiest star of the year'' by its readers. ``Our editors assembled photographs of the top 25 vote getters for our annual '25 Sexiest Celebrity' feature, and we put her on the cover based on the poll results,'' spokeswoman Lauren Malone said.

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Ech. This whole drama annoys me. I love that she (Alba...wasn't that the name of a fuckin' milkshake mix or something in the 70's?) fears that the image may "mislead readers into thinking she appears nude or partially nude in the magazine." Yeah. As you can see from the photo that accompanies this post, Alba is a real shrinking violet when it comes to being photographed au naturale.

It also pisses me off that she has the nerve to ask for a "monetary settlement" for alleged damages to her reputation (Oh, you mean the reputation you got when you were 19 and started dating your 32-year old co-star on your first legitimate TV gig (Dark Angel) since The Love Boat: The Next Wave?) and alleged career. Pfft! What-ever! You have to have a career before it can be damanaged. Gimme a fuckin' break! And as far as "reputation" goes, she's not exactly known for her SAG (Screen Actors Guild) membership. She's known for being spank bank material.

What it all boils down to is that she held out for a wad, Playboy said "Fuck this TeenTown drama, we'll use a stock photo" and that's exactly what they did. It's a goddamn "Best of"-type issue anyway. She's acting like the entire issue's fate revolves around her. Puhlease. She's just a flash in the pussy pan. She better be enjoying her 15 minutes because they can only make so many Fantastic Four movies. Stuuuupid bitch!