Clipping Palooza Vol. 1

Over the next few days I'll be sharing with you various articles I cut from the local newspaper (The Dallas Morning News). I know I probably sound like someone's mother, but I wanted you to see them. I considered posting them all at one time, and just letting you have at 'em, but then I realized I wanted to add my 2¢ to each one, and if I did that it would take you forever to read and you might get more bored than you already are.

So! I've decided to scatter them out over the next three days, so as to give the bitching and complaining my undivided attention. Enjoy!


Initially this one made me roll my eyes and say "Oh good God. All this drama over some cartilage? Get a life!" Then I thought, you know what? Men do this shit all the time when it comes to women and their sweatermonkeys, it's just that we rarely hear about the women and their lust for mancandy. THEN I got really pissed off that some ungrateful bitch has a "kind and gentle" husband, who was apparently good enough to fuck and marry, but now that she's seen the 'promise gland' (AKA The Schlongmeister) she's ready to toss her husband and that "sacred bond" that the Republicans love to pull outta their ass when it comes to gay marriage, right out the fuckin' window! She sounds delightful. What a cunt. That goes for men too. Anyone who's such a big puss as to not be able to just come out and tell their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend that they aren't satisfied with the marriage/relationship any longer, deserves to be alone or riddled with STDs. If cumming is your primary objective, then DON'T GET MARRIED or go into a relationship pretending to be monogamous. That's bullshit and you're gonna end up paying for it one way or another.

Also, on a side note, I get a certain little thrill when Abby gives the writer a response that I'd have given them had I been her. It happened this time and I relished it! (re: The last sentence in Abby's response)

P.s. Sorry, but Dear Abby will always be like the picture I have accompanying this article. NOT her daughter. That's just how I feel about it. It's like when Jay Leno took over for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. I never watched the show again. It's just not the same. Leno is no Carson. Accept no substitutions.