Tuesday, February 21, 2006

TAB Low Flavor Calorie Energy Drink

While waiting in line at the grocery store recently, I noticed in the refrigerated soft drink case (the impulse buy manipulation du jour) that my favorite soft drink of all time, TAB, has a new "energy drink." Of course, being only human, I had to get one.

First off, let me say that I have never drank, bought or been interested in so-called energy drinks. Personally, I think energy is overrated. If I need energy I'll get it the natural way, through endorphins released via good old-fashioned exercise. Wa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh my god, I knew I couldn't say that with a straight face!!! Were you buying that? Oh dear lord...ahem...anyway... But seriously, energy drinks hold no appeal for me. I consider them the retarded cousin of the other drinks I never cared about: Gatorade, flavored waters, beer, juice (except grape juice, which is just delicious) and the latest addition to the family "oxygenated water" (gimme a break already!). I bought the TAB energy drink simply because I am a big fan of its retrolicious, carbonated namesake.

Like a goofy little kid, I 'saved' the drink for when I got home, in order to savor it's (perceived) deliciousness...

Let's just say, if there was ever a flavor called "yuck," the people who developed the TAB energy drink deserve the recognition for inventing it. OMG, it tasted like what I can only assume gerbil ass with an aftertaste of sucralose-laden berries would taste like. HORRIBLE! It was like that old joke: "Your cooking is so bad that the dog had to lick his own ass to get the taste out of his mouth!" Soooo bad.

So, unless you have a death wish or are gearing up to be a contestant on Fear Factor, avoid this "drink" at all costs. With a taste this bad, it won't have a long shelf life anyway. On the plus side, I used the can opener to remove the top of the can and it makes a swell pencil cup!

Also New on the grocer's shelf:

Eggo (yes, just like the waffles) cereal
• "Berry" Lucky Charms cereal

4 Comments:

Anonymous kris said...

Eggo cereal is da BOMB! Highly recommended.

Perfect blend of Eggo+maple syrupy goodness.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Marvo said...

I like the look of the can. It looks like a design Jackie O would wear.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 11:56:00 PM  
Blogger girlzoot said...

hehee retard cousin of gatorade. Lovely turn of phrase.

Thursday, February 23, 2006 8:23:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Kris-
I DID try it! I like it. It was good, but it's definitely not something I could eat very often. It was a little TOO maple-y for me. The milk helped though. Good, but it's no Lucky Charms. ;) heh

Marvo-
I totally agree! I couldn't think of what it reminded me of. It also made me think of the movie Clueless for some reason. Like something Cher (Alicia Silverston's character) would wear as a skirt design. Weird. GMTA

Thanks for commenting! :)

Girlzoot-
Heh, thanks! I may have to write a handbook. I keep making more and more of them. Kinda like the Preppy Handbook or Valley Girl Dictionary. ;)

Thanks for commenting! :)

Saturday, March 04, 2006 1:51:00 PM  

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