Monday, February 13, 2006

Cha-Ka & Mr. Whipple's Lovechild Has Issues

So, Friday night while I was at the local Hollywood Video, gettin' my rent on, I see this guy. Not too noteworthy. He did have a nice bod (nice pecs...but at what price?), but otherwise, a serious case of Cha-Kaface (everyone worth their weight in 70's pop culture, watched Land of the Lost). Oh well, that's why God created beer goggles and Rohypnol, am I right? But I digress...

So, while I was perusing the previously-viewed DVDs, so was he. Being a Friday night, the store was a wreck. Things were askew throughout the store, including the previously-viewed DVDs. So, when I noticed a random bag of candy left atop one of the racks of DVDs, I thought nothing of it...until Cha-Ka goes Mr. Whipple on it. Initially, I though nothing of it, assuming it was in his way and he couldn't see the DVD title. Then he passed another candy/popcorn display and he (nonchalantly) gets squeeze-happy again. Then again on an end-cap (i.e. a display fixture located at the end of an aisle...for those who have never worked retail)...and again at the check out. WTF is that about? Anyway, it got me to thinking...

Say you met someone you thought was snacktacular in every way. You start dating, you start getting close...then you find out that your mancandy (or womancandy) has an idiosyncrasy: he/she can't resist getting their squeeze on wherever you go, be it the grocery store, the post office, the video store, etc. Of course this is just an example, it could just as well be something else equally quirky. My question: Would this be a deal breaker? I realize I breached this subject in a previous post, but it got me to thinking. I came to the conclusion that if I really liked the person, I think I could come to terms with it, but it would depend on the quirk and how deep-set it was. For example...

I remember back in junior high I was friends with this guy named Don. We had a few classes together and we made each other laugh. Then I witnessed something disturbing. Something I'd never noticed before. One day after coming back from a bathroom break during social studies, I noticed Don was gettin' his sniff on, periodically smelling his fingertips. I didn't say anything at the time and later made a conscious effort to notice if it was a random thing or something much more ingrained. As it turned out, e-v-e-r-y single time he emerged from the bathroom, he became Sniffles The Curious Elf. Naturally, I was very sensitive to Don's plight and began referring to him as Poo Poo Fingahs (AKA Sir Dookie Digits). Of course he denied it, yet he could still be seen sneaking a forbidden sniff from time to time. Fa-reak!

4 Comments:

Blogger Terri said...

Steenky fingahs would be down the highway for me. I agree, would depend on the "quirk". Something like someone who runs their fingers through their hair when nervous is fine. Someone who sniffs their fingers when they come out of the bathroom, no. That has me giggling like a goon now, thanks.

Monday, February 13, 2006 7:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

Not me, I couldn't do it. I'm an evil person with a really low threshold for annoyance.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 7:13:00 AM  
Blogger yep, it's me.... said...

snacktacular

you use the best words

Thursday, February 16, 2006 7:48:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Terri-
Heh heh. It's true though, right? It makes me think of my 6th grade history teacher, Mr. McCollum. While we were reading quietly at our desks, he would sit at his desk, pick his nose and *flick!* it away to the four corners of the world. WTF? Pig. My point: someone married HIM. Scary.

Cheryl-
I have to agree. I'm still riding the fence on ol' Squeeze 'n fluff. He had a nice bod, but the combo of his face and the turning everything into a squeezebox, I think would have been enough for me to lose interest...eventually. LOL! Pecs I tell you! P E C S!

Velma-
Thanks! I should write a dictionary, like the Valley Girls and Preppies did in the 80's! ;)

Monday, February 20, 2006 8:00:00 AM  

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