...And He's Dancin' Like He's Never Danced Before

So, there I was, performing one of those rituals I do, leafing through this week's new batch of sales circulars while spending some 'quality time' in the bathroom (And if you're one of those people going "ewwww!", then you must be one of those people who never blew their nose in school, doesn't have a problem never seeing a toilet during the entire run of The Brady Bunch and/or thinks toilet paper is something that never gets purchased; it just happens). So, I open up the Kroger sales circular and a spider falls out on my crotch! Let's just say I created a new dance sensation that rivals anything seen on Soul Train. Ever.

Note to self: Take advantage of Kroger's sale on toilet paper.