On Newsstands Now

You know I'm a sucker when it comes to magazines, especially when they have someone I like on the cover (Jake Gyllenhaal, Vince Vaughn, Ryan Reynolds, Branch Warren).

Well, here are all the ones I've been pouring over lately. They're all chock-full of great articles on books, music, movies, food, etc...with the exception of Men's Fitness and Muscular Development. But hey, if you like muscles, "performance enhancers" (AKA supplements), or Biggest Dick contests cleverly disguised as informational, machismo-laden articles, these magazines are just what you've been looking for!!

• Entertainment Weekly-
Why I Bought It: Once I saw this cover, I had to buy it. Jake Gyllenhaal is just the hottest thing. He's so doggone cute. And even though my friend (hmph!) Derik claims Jake looks inbred, I vehemently disagree! I'd give Jake some kisses any ol' day.

Also, it was interesting to see how the normally vehemently friendly cashier at the nearby Kroger, who I've had a pleasant in-passing friendship with for years, suddenly clammed up and put on his solemn face, once he saw me buying this. What? You're not going to talk to me about movies today? Oh well. So be it. Get over it, Charlie.

• GQ: Gentleman's Quarterly-
Why I Bought It: Duh. Vince, baby, Vince! He's so pretty. He needs some kisses. There weren't nearly enough pictures of him inside (try 3), which was a little disappointing, but still worth it. He makes a dynamite cowboy (you must rent Clay Pigeons). ROWR!

Lots of interesting things inside:
• FREE Starbucks Christmas postcards
• Fun, but unrealistic Christmas gift ideas. Who wouldn't want an $875 paperweight? What affordable stocking stuffers! Jesus Christ.
• The 2005 GQ Poll:
-77% Would give up drinking for a year if it would end the war in Iraq
-59% Would give up drinking for a year if it would wipe out all their credit card debt
-49% Believe the Bush daughters should volunteer for military service
And much, much more
• A GREAT, incredibly informative article called "Homeland Stupidity"
i.e. Taxpayers have paid for:
-$3,300- Bulletproof vests for dogs
-$5,000- Leather jackets for all the officers of the Washington, D.C. Police Department
-$461, 745- Awards banquet for the Transportation Security Administration. Includes $85, 552 for the event planner, $81,767 for plaques and $1,500 for cheese displays.
-$19 million- TSA (Transportation Security Administration) Center in Herndon, Virginia that houses 79 federal employees. Includes:
$25,392 worth of artwork and a 4,200-square-foot gym.

And it just keeps getting worse. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't read it myself. Who am I kidding, sure I would have believed it.
• Great article/photo spread of Prison star, Wentworth Miller. ROWR!
• A HOT full-page photo of actor Jeremy Piven. Double ROWR!

• Men's Fitness-
Why I Bought It: The cover and the related article/photos inside. Otherwise, pretty nominal fair. Ryan Reynolds is lookin' fuckin' hot as usual. Definitely prefer him with a beard.

• Kraft Food & Family-
Why I Bought It: I didn't buy it (though it is a $2.99 value)! I signed up to receive it FREE over at Kraft's web site. It's the nicest FREE magazine I have ever seen. Seriously. Full color throughout, beautiful photos, brimming with innovative recipes you make with every day products. Excellent.

• Paste-
Why I Bought It: I wanted the CD & DVD inside. Plus, I really loved the paper they used for the cover. I know that that's completely tactile and strange, but it's GREAT.
-Plus, great articles on books, music and movies.
-The CD has 21 tracks from new and upcoming albums. Ingenious! I had no idea that Charlie Sexton and Echo & the Bunnymen had new albums out! And while I'm on the topic, did you know that the following 80's staples have out either new or remastered/remixed/expanded CDs:

• Human League
• Killing Joke
• Culture Club
• The Eurythmics

I also 'discovered' some new artists I am currently digging:
-Metric's 'Monster Hospital' track is catchy fun!
-Imogen Heap's 'Hide And Seek' is awesome. Electropop to the 5th power. Infectious!

• Muscular Development-
Why I Bought It: This month's cover man, Branch Warren is smokin' H-O-T. God, he's fuckin' massive and has the best pecs. HOT photo spread with Branch inside.
-Article/photo spread on Egyptian beefcake, Fakhri Mubarek. He's beautiful. Damn!

• Paper-
Why I Bought It: Because I subscribe to it! This magazine is always consistently AWESOME. Covering everything you'd ever want to know about: Music, Movies, Books, Fashion, Under-the-radar celebrities, Shopping, Television, DVDs, Clubs, Paparazzi and more.
- KICKASS Gift Guide
-Article: 'Downtown '74: When New York Changed the World'