Note to Passerbys...

I'd just like to tell anyone who may have passed by while I was driving east on Park Row this evening, that I was not, I repeat was not deep-throating a Jones Grape Soda bottle. I had just purchased a turkey sandwich and was taking a drink of soda when I hit a bump in the rode and soda splashed out over the edge. I was merely trying to catch it (though admittedly not in the most appealing fashion) from running down the side and getting on my clothing.

I'm glad we've cleared that up.