Monday, October 24, 2005

Stop Me Before I Fuck a Turtle!

While I'm on the topic of voting, Early Voting began today, here in Texas. Actual voting begins November 8th.

One of the key issues this time around is Proposition 2. Proposition 2 defines marriage in the Texas constitution as being solely between a man and a woman. Passage would reduce the likelihood of a successful constitutional challenge to the state's 2003 "Defense of Marriage Act."

I'm nothing if not realistic. I know there's not a chance in Hell (another red state) that the proposition will pass. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about a state that still had a sodomy statute on the books until just a few years ago {Which Harriet_Miers opposed the repeal of, by the way. Gee, I wonder where her allegiance lies? DOI!} . What with the news already doing it's one-sided reports on how demand for Voter's Guides have increased exponentially, primarily due to Right Wing churches requests. According to one VG representative, they (re: the organizations requesting them) want them to hand out in church, at their "Harvest Festivals" (i.e. Halloween parties, c'mon!) and place in their foyers. The possibility of this prop passing is as likely as Texas women not being ruled by their vagina and shirking their wifely duties (as dictated by their Prairie Home Companion). Tammy Wynette would be so proud.

Naturally, with such a prop on the ballot, the JesusSquirrels and and those using "family" values as a scapegoat for their bigotry, are coming out of the woodwork. Using every scare tactic from "The Threat to Marriage" to "What About the Children," the JesusSquirrels are pulling out all the stops. And naturally, the allusion that the next logical step is people wanting to "marry" a farm animal. And isn't that what logic dictates? I can't tell you how many times I've sat around with my friends and lamented "I wish just once I could fuck a turtle in the comfort of my own home. Or take my turtle out to lunch at the Olive Garden, without the stigma of being a 'dirty turtle fucker.' I'm just like them. I want to be able to express my turtlelove freely and openly. Why can't they see that? Why?" Then I curl up in a fetal position, clutching a box of delicious candy turtles tightly in my arms. Drifting off to sleep, dreaming of the day I can make sweet love to my turtle without being labeled a pariah.

On a serious note, I think the thing that I find most unsettling about the anti-gay rhetoric is that even with all of our technological and medical advances that have been made over the decades, there are still hordes of ignorant people living in a time warp. I'd say it makes me angry, but it actually makes me more sad that anything else. Sad that no matter how much the world around us may change, one thing is a constant: ignorant people. Very sad indeed.

Normally, I make it a rule not to link to fascist sites/articles on the Internet, but this time I'm making an exception. Even if you normally find this kind of rhetoric stressful, I urge you to see just what kind of propaganda is being hoisted against those who'd like the opportunity to be just as miserable as straight people. Er, I mean those who deserve to enjoy the legal equalities of their straight counterparts. Unlike the Christian Right, I've always believed education ('edumucation' for those home-schoolers out there) is the best offense. Now go vote!

Proposition 2 Propaganda
The Slippery Slope of Same-Sex "Marriage"
Texas Clergy Take Sides in Battle Over Gay Marriage
Governor Angers Gays

P.s. I'll be voting tomorrow.
P.s.s. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my own mother is actually on my side for once. Particularly surprising since we have agreed to disagree when it comes to evolution. A little silver lining goes a long way.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am still trying to figure out what will happen when I figure out that I am not bisexual, but actually trisexual and the animal kingdom turns out to be my next area to explore. At my age, it would have to be a turtle...it would be the only one I could catch.

Monday, October 24, 2005 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger M said...

What I find curious is how they assume sex with animals is the next logical step for gays. Where does it say that gays are so prone to having sex with animals, as opposed to heteros? I think this is very much in line with the idea that it's gays who are pedophiles and catch/spread/practically create venereal diseases. That's right, heteros never screw their children, or get AIDS, it's solely a gay thing.

If they're so dead set against animal abuse (and who isn't?) go ahead and make a law against it. Why don't they put it in the Constitution that marriage should happen only between consenting adults, excluding anything else that is animal, vegetable or mineral, and leave gays out of this? Where exactly do they come in?

Oh, and good luck with your turtle lovin'. ;)

Monday, October 24, 2005 11:34:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Princess Wild Cow-
Personally, I also find Sloths very attractive. They kind of have that Ringow with claws "look."

Mariana-
Oh, I know! Tell me about it! LOL! Like "straight" men, preachers, clergy men aren't child molesters, serial killers and deviants. What-ever! Get a load of this story no pun intended):

Charges Against Teen Upgraded After Dog He Allegedly Raped Dies

Sunday, October 30, 2005 5:29:00 AM  

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