Tuesday, January 04, 2005

All Hail The Golden Guano

I received an e-mail from the person who nominated me over at the BoB awards, that apparently my blog didn't make the cut when it came time to choose the blogs that did. I'm not that broken up over it, though after taking a look at some of the other GLBT blogs that DID make the cut, I'm a little baffled as to what they were actually looking for. Apparently the key lies somewhere in the fact that they have absolute no visual appeal, have hunkalicious self pics and/or mention the word 'gay' in every other sentence. I'll have to get rainbowlicious if I wanna compete next year! ...not. Insert sarcastic fart noise here. Make that 'super-gay' fart noise (fabulous!)

So, anyway, cattiness aside, I've actually created a TRUE blog award "for the rest of us." I call it the Golden Guano, and it's fabulous. It's so fabulus, in fact, that you can only get it here. A My So-Called Strife exclusive. AND it comes in 2 versions: 1 for blogs with a light background and 1 for blogs with a dark background. How fabulous is THAT?! Yes, wipe that tear from your eye, you've just won your very first blog award.

And that's not all! There are prizes, too! You betcha! Each and every one of you will be receiving a FREE sales circular of some sort in your mail, so be watching your mailbox! And for those who do not receive their sales circular within the first month, please go to the nearest participating gas station and ask for your FREE paper funnel, compliments of My So-Called Strife. Impress your friends by telling them that it's a Major Award, for having mind power. Cherish this moment always. I know I will.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you really get a free funnel at the gas station? I had no idea! Sorry about the blog award. I found your blog 3 months ago by going to "next blog", and I have been checking it out every day. You crack me up and I look foward to your latest entry. Thanks.
A fan in Cincinnati.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 1:48:00 PM  
Blogger I Am The Walrus said...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
And look, someone else who found you by clicking next blog as opposed to blog explosion...YIPPEE!
I am taking the black one!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 2:06:00 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

So, if I have both a light and a dark background, does that mean I win two awards?:)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 4:14:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Anon-
Yes! It's true! But only in conjunction with my award!

Eh, that's alright about the award. I'm only mildly perturbed. I know, I can hear you saying to yourself "This is mildly? He must be a flaming asshole when he's REALLY perturbed." Not necessarily. It depends. I like to think of myself as a somewhat demure asshole.

Aw, thank you for the kind words. I'm so glad you enjoy my blog. Though I tend to bitch a lot, I really do enjoy it. And it's people like you that motivate me to keep coming up with more things to blog about. Thank you. I appreciate it! :D

sara-
I love meeces to pieces! And you too! ;D Hooray! I'm glad someone is taking one! I'm hoping this will gain enough popularity so that I can get endorsements from Bacardi. The original bat, himself!

Display your award with pride. You earned it in your prospective category of: MOST INANE RAMBLINGS OF A FIFTY SOMETHING BITCH FROM MINNESOTA

Congrats! The vote's still out on what I'll be winning mine for. It'll probably be something like: MOST VENOMOUS RANTS OF A BIPOLAR HOMO FROM TEXAS... or something like that.

Stacy-
Of course that's what it means, silly! The awards are small. Take two. And the best part is (as sara pointed out), you can name your own category! Schweet!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 4:42:00 PM  
Blogger Cori said...

You are my hero! (Does it come in Hot pink?)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger Charr Crail said...

I LOVE the line from the Chess song in your profile, very cool!
So darling, just what does a blogging girl have to do to win one of your highly coveted Guano Awards?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 9:09:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Cori-
Aw, shucks. Thanks! It does NOW! :D

By the way, thanks for droppin' by! :D

Charr-
Thank you! One Night in Bangkok is one of my all-time favorite songs.

The best part of getting a Golden Guano is that you don't hafta do nuthin'!Well, I take that back. You have to do 3 things:

[1] Download the Guano of your choice (white, black or NEW hot pink!)
[2] Upload to your blog.
[3] Decide what "category" your blog won it for. For example:

• MOST INANE RAMBLINGS OF A FIFTY SOMETHING BITCH FROM MINNESOTA

• MOST VENOMOUS RANTS OF A BIPOLAR HOMO FROM TEXAS

etc. Everybody wins!

Thanks for droppin' by! :D

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 9:33:00 PM  
Blogger Cori said...

Oh Kirkkitsch!

How I love my hot pink...

"Honorary Shirley Temple Life-time Acheivement Award for Orphans"

I'll polish it every day!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 12:38:00 AM  
Blogger The Cunning Linguist said...

I'll take the black one meself. Although I don't know which category I should nominate myself into. "User of Unnecessary Parenthesis" perhaps? "Cut-and-paste HTML Blogger of the Year" has a nice ring to it. Maybe "Utter Disregard For Brevity?"

Suggestions? It's not enough for you to just make me something for free, you have to go all out before I am fully satisfied. =)

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 1:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Golden Guano (for "Blog Most Likely to Touch You In An Inappropriate Place") has just been displayed over at Blogography.com. I've never felt so beloved!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 8:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're brilliant!!!!!

have a good day!

-anna

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 1:40:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Cori-
Hurray! I'm glad you like it. Terrific award title you chose there! Ms. Temple would be so proud.

CL-
How about: "Crabbiest Blogger Within A 100 Mile Radius"
-or-
"The Poor Man's Andy Rooney"
-or-
"The Nell Carter 'Gimme a Break' Award For Disgruntled Bloggers"

That's as good as I can do on such short notice. Hope this helps! Of course, if you decide one and don't like it, you can always change it later.

Anon-
You are just a sweet slice of baby Spider Monkey angelfood cake, you are. You've mentioned me so often in your blog lately, and I still haven't gotten around to writing a 'Thank you' blog. I promise that's in the works. Thank you!

The mere title of your award denotes your belovedness. Excellent.

anna-
You're making me blush, Anna. Thank you very much. What a nice thing to say.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Best wishes for the new year! :D

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 3:46:00 PM  
Blogger C-8 said...

*sigh* - Kirk, you not only rock, you rock, out loud! Thanks for giving the rest of us unloved, unwashed miscreants some love!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 5:24:00 PM  
Blogger KlutzyJenn said...

OMG hun, you are crazy. WOOHOO!! YA! I am 90% done on your scarf, I took a break due to my hands and plus I get more motivated when I start another scarf in between doing yours. I know long story. Your crazy ass neighbor sounds like she hit the crack pipe once too many times that day. When I come to visit, we'll seriously have to f* with her head for a bit. But not too much, since you'll still be living by her. So your Christmas gifts are rewrapped in another box and I have offically started yet another box. Like today I say this cute as hell notebook (it has a girl on the cover but I didn't think you would mind once you see it, you'll know what I mean), so I'll be sure to mail both this weekend, with some V-Day stuff in it, since it just happens to be pouring out of every store in Orlando right now, plus Easter crap. Drives me nuts. So when do I get my award package, or do I not qualify???

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 6:43:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

cate-
Aw shucks, Cate, you're makin' me blush. ;) Thank you.

That's why I created the 'award.' For all the people out there that either get overlooked, mandated by the self-imposed "powers that be" that your efforts aren't worthwhile and/or basically neglected. (puts hands on hips and lets cape billow in the wind, while standing atop a step ladder, and says:) This is everyman(woman)'s award!

Thanks for stopping by. BTW, your blog is great. Very funny stuff. I can so relate to the whole 'mom' thing. Mine drives me nuts with her conspiracy theories... 'cause you know the FBI is dying to know what a 65 year old woman living in a small town, whose highlight of the day is feeding the cats, is up to. sigh.

KG-
You crazy kid, you! You didn't have to knit me a scarf. I'm super-psyched that you did, but you didn't have to do that! You're just too doggone sweet! ;D

I'm all up for messin' with her. I just hope it doesn't turn out like that 80's horror movie "Hell High," where a group of "misfit" rebel teens decide to get revenge on their curmudgeonly biology teacher, only to have her go insane and end up slaughtering them all. But hey, I'll try anything once.

I'm excited about the carepackage! Wheee! Maybe it will get me outta this slump I've been clinging to ever since Christmas ended.

Sure, you qualify for the Golden Guano! That's the best part about it. Why I created it. Everybody gets one! All you gotta do is download it, upload it to your blog and decide what category you won it for. It's all up to you, baby! The sky's the limit! ;D

Thursday, January 06, 2005 2:59:00 AM  
Blogger Tild said...

Kirk: I don't even remember now how I found your site and first beheld the splendor that is the Golden Guano, but the important thing is that I *did* find your site, and I *did* gack myself one of those fabulous hot pink numbers, and lo! my life is forever changed. Thank you thank you thank you!
Mwah! Mwah!

Sunday, January 09, 2005 11:52:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Tild-
Hurray! You're more than welcome! I'm glad you're a fan of my first-ever self-made blog award! Display your Golden Guano with pride my friend. You've earned it!

Keep on bloggin'!
-Kirk :)

Monday, January 10, 2005 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Tild said...

Thank you again, Kirk. I forgot to say how much i enjoy your site! Especially all your retro links. Come on over sometime and see how fabulous the Golden Guano award looks at my place:

http://tildblog.blogspot.com/2005/01/official-major-all-mine.html

http://tildblog.blogspot.com

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 7:05:00 AM  

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