Monday, December 19, 2005

I Found My Christmas Spirit...I Think It's Dead

Recently, while dusting the tops of the curio cabinets in the dining room, my hand brushed against something gnarled and dry. No, it wasn't my other hand (smartass), it was this: A long-forgotten mini pumpkin from 2 Halloweens ago. How sad is that? Not to mention a commentary on how often I dust the tops of the curios...ahem. Anyway, I decided to share this with you because I thought this pretty much summed up how I have been feeling lately. Kinda "eh." I just can't seem to get into the whole Christmas Spirit thing. I'm not necessarily sad or down in the dumps, just not feeling it. Whatever 'it's' supposed to be. And speaking of 'it'...

Last night while I was washing the dishes (AKA The Leaning Tower of Pizza), I was surfing for something to listen to on the radio, when I came across a call-in advice show. Hurray! I likes my talk radio...sometimes. So, I'm listening to this young woman getting emotional on the phone about not being able to find the time for herself, her problems and trying to cope with her families'problems as well. She's the only girl in the family and the first one to go off to college, but when she comes home she has to deal with her parents and their problems, not to mention her siblings, finally having to just come out and tell her Dad "Look, I can't even deal with my problems, much less yours." I felt bad for her and was curious to hear what the host was going to tell her.

His response: "Do you go to church?" Aye carumba, I was listening to religious radio. Goddamit. Through tears she sniffles and says that she "used to." Wrong answer, Connie. I could see what came next from a mile away. "Then you should start going back. God wants you to come home." Then he asks her if she'd like to talk to a "Hope Counselor," to which she tearfully replies 'yes' but she has one more question, which he totally rushed her through only to cut her off with an upbeat game show host-tone "Thanks for calling, Connie! We'll be right back after these messages!" WTF? So I listened to some more and the host had the same pat answer for every caller: Go with Jesus/Bible/Church. This qualifies as advice? It's almost as good as my mother's advice whenever I feel depressed or stressed: "Try not to think about it. Keep busy." Um okay Dr. Joyce Brothers. You're a wealth of knowledge. But back to the radio show....Man, what a cushy gig: Answer the phone, ask questions you already know the answer to and then sprinkle some magic Jesuses over it and make it all better. What a gyp. I felt bad for some of these desperate people who called in hoping for some logical, tangible advice, only to get handed a sack of magic beans. I don't know about them, but I felt cheated.

What does this all have to do with anything? I dunno. I've really got nuthin' for ya today. I'm so far behind on everything I don't know where to begin. I still have Thanksgiving decorations on my front door for Pete's sake! I am just not into Christmas this year. What I once enjoyed is now just a hassle. God knows I've had plenty of time to get ready for the season, the stores have been shoving it down my throat since August. It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. Maybe I'll have something a little less convoluted for you to read tomorrow.


Blogger Mariana said...

A religious joke to cheer you up: a father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Monday, December 19, 2005 8:50:00 AM  
Anonymous kris said...

mmmmmmmm magic Jesus sprinkles.....

I think I'm going to start using those answers for the questions I get. "Hey, Kris, do you have that project done?" jesus?

And then I will skip away sprinkling magic Jesus beans as I go.

Monday, December 19, 2005 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger Quiggs said...

Your mom's advice strikes a nerve with me. If I hear "Plan your work and work your plan" from my mother one more time I might become a serial ma-killer. For years, all my sisters and I were taught to just "handle" things...and we didn't have it bad comparatively to the rest of the universe. If I broke my leg I was just fine and all I needed to do was drink a 7up and eat Saltines - the cure all. Hope you get out of you funk and if not #$@% it. Christmas will come next year - will all the funkiness of this year - at least we can suffer together:)

Monday, December 19, 2005 2:44:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Heh heh, that was cute. Thanks :)

Everything goes better with Jesus!

LOL. Ah, the 7UP & Saltines cure-all. I know it well. I think I'm funk-free for now...we'll see how long it lasts. Thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

Friday, December 30, 2005 5:27:00 PM  

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