The Pussy Generation

A few weeks ago, the local news did a "shocking" news story on how today's teens could be in store for long-term physical harm because of how doggone heavy their backpacks are. There were woeful tales from various teens about how heavy their backpacks can get, along with images of kids walking home from school with back-breaking loads that shouldn't even be wished upon the heartiest of pack mules! Why, at one point there was even a dramatic weighing-in of the typical school child's backpack. It was horrifying! Many times I had to avert my eyes, fearing that I'd see some child have to actually leave their iPod or cellular phone at home! OMG!

Why, look what CNN had to say about it: ""Concerned that students who lug heavy backpacks will develop spinal problems, lawmakers in two states may go further than any others to try to reduce excess pounds. New Jersey lawmakers are weighing a bill that proposes setting maximum weight standards for textbooks, while a California measure would require school districts to figure out ways to reduce the weight. Other states have done studies of backpack weight and children's back pain, but none have passed legislation requiring schools to do something about it."

And just the other day I ran across this life-or-death question over at nationalhealthmuseum.org : "When assigning homework, what do teachers need to consider? How do teachers accommodate the different sizes of their students, while still expecting all of their students to have the books and materials they need to do their class work and homework each day?"

It's reaching epidemic proportions, people! Forget Weapons of Mass-Destruction, we've got real issues to deal with! The very future of our children's lives are hanging in the balance!! { insert long, loud, sarcastic donkey fart noise here }

What-ever. What I wanna know is who's putting a gun to these kid's heads and making them carry the entire contents of their locker around in their backpack? I know I haven't been in school in awhile, but don't kids still get assigned lockers? Surely the Gestapo doesn't roam the halls with a stopwatch. Surely they have time between classes to get the appropriate book for their next class. I know it's a radical concept, but it's worked for generations.

I'm so beyond sick-and-tired of today's parents (and their kids) acting as if every little thing is something to start a coalition over. Whether it's cheerleading's "risque" moves, healthy meals fortified with fluoride & Ginkgo biloba, obsessing over S.A.T. scores or making sure their angel can be reached by cell phone at all times, enough already! Jesus Christ! If it's not one thing, it's another. Today's generation of parents and their kids are the biggest bunch of pussies since The Vagina Monologues hit the stage. What's next, a 3-hour school day complete with mandatory Starbuck's breaks* and sensitivity training? Jeezus!

*Click the hyperlink to read: 'Starbucks Could Teach Students, Educators the Business of Joe'