Mental Goulash V

[1] The New Chocolate Lucky Charms cereal...hmmm, I dunno about this one. I've never been much of a chocolate cereal fan. The only one I remotely liked was that Nestle Quik one with the Quik Rabbit on the box.

[2] MicroDancers. New from the makers of MicroPets, in conjunction with American Idol. I want the one wearing the red cap! Cute!

[3] My latest love affair: Maruchan Instant Wonton Soup from the makers of Ramen. It comes in 3 delicious flavors (honest, they are all good!): (1) Chicken (my personal favorite), (2) Oriental (i.e. "Beef") and (3) The elusive "Shrimp" (my 2nd favorite)

[4] I thought this was SUCH a great idea, I was compelled to buy one. Fisher Boy, the makers of delicious, affordable fishsticks, has now come out with a new Fun Bucket! The bucker contains three individually-packaged bags of: (1) Fishsticks, (2) Popcorn Shrimp and (3) Mini Crabcakes! All three are great and I love the variety. Bring on the tartar sauce!

[5] Trolli's (a subsidiary of Kraft Foods, in case you feel compelled to send an angry e-mail) latest (and now recalled) gummies: Road Kill Gummies! WOO HOO! Personally, I've bought tons of them and love them and thought the concept was hilarious. Unfortunately, the pickle pusses at PETA don't agree. They contend that they promote animal cruelty and send the wrong "message" (everything has to have a "message" now) to children: that's it's 'okay' to run over animals. SIGH. Gimme a fuckin' break already. Get some while you can.

[6] I recently saw this photo on a health insurance site and it made me laugh hysterically. I'm sorry, but I think the kid in the red shirt is gonna need some dookie insurance for his shoes, if he doesn't step away from Fido pretty darn quick. Maybe it's just me, but poochie looks like he's doin' some hardcore gruntin'. Just look at that face. Everyone else seems to be oblivious to Fido's intestinal woes.

[7] New in your grocer's freezer: Hooter's brand spicy chicken wings! What genius thought this up? Like people go to Hooter's for the food. Ha! Soon to be a collector's item.

[8] I miss these damn snacks. Why are they so hard to find now? I found some at Sav-A-Lot recently and was dismayed to find out that they no longer print a comic strip on the back! I remember the comic strip being one of the few highlights of my junior high lunch. After doing a little research online, I found out that they come in 7 varieties! (1) Hot (the only flavor, besides Cheddar that I've ever tasted/seen), (2) BBQ, (3) Cheddar, (4) Salsa, (5) Hot Chili Cheese and (6) Steak Fries: White Cheddar. Who knew?!

[9] Brushing your teeth was never so much fun! WARNING: Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen toothpaste may induce vomiting.

[10/13] A recent free sample of Tide Coldwater that I sent away for. If you read the back of the package carefully, you'll see: "DO NOT REUSE THIS PACKAGE FOR DISPENSING BEVERAGES OR OTHER FLUIDS." Dammit! There goes my gig at serving punch at the senior prom.

[11] The new line of 2005 male bodybuilders have arrived! Get yours today! Why do I find this somehow disturbingly erotic?

[12] You've heard of imposter perfumes, right? Well these imposter cucumbers (AKA "English Cucumbers") were recently on sale at Albertson's for a mere 99¢ each. Being an idiot, I assumed that even though they looked different, they were still cucumbers, therefore they would taste similarly. So wrong. Maybe I can make some nunchucks out of the others.