I Want Your Sex...and Yours...and Yours...

A few weeks ago I touched on the subject of open-relationships, as they pertain to gay men. One of my readers requested I elaborate. Here's my opinion:

First off, I know there are a lot of gay men out there that don't like to hear/read anything negative when it pertains to the gay subculture. I can understand that to an extent because there's already plenty of negative stigmas surrounding homosexuality. However, just because homosexuals are an ostracized minority doesn't mean that they're beyond reproach.


I'm sure those who are in favor of so-called "open relationships" would argue that what constitutes a relationship is open to interpretation. And I'm sure some would even argue that there are such vast differences between the gay and the straight "lifestyle" that it's like comparing apples to oranges. To those people I say "That's a crock." Fundamentally a relationship is two people who share a mutual interdependence. Whether bound by a legal document or that of a common set of scruples. When I refer to a relationship, I'm referring to the male/female equivalent of a marriage. I'm not referring to people who are casually dating. I mean people who have a long history together and an unspoken understanding that they are exclusively monogamous. i.e having only one mate.


I'm of the opinion that an "open relationship" is nothing more than a red herring. An open relationships is Denial-ese for: two fuckbuddies sharing the rent. No matter how you slice it, an "open" relationship is an oxymoron. A relationship implies a certain level of commitment. The use of the word relationship in an open relationship is nothing more than a way for gay men to gloss over the fact that they're promiscuous (a nice way of saying "whore"). Naturally, the word "promiscuous" comes with negative connotations, primarily AIDS (or as I refer to it, radioactive). So, with all the bad implications that AIDS brings to the table, gay men opt to toss in the word "relationship" in order to give their lack of sexual restraint some credibility.

In short, do I believe in so-called "open relationships?" No, I don't. I think relationships are reserved for those who are emotionally and psychologically ready for an actual commitment. However, if you're of the mindset that feels "Open relationships aren't for everyone," well neither is chlamydia. Call it what you want, those of us grounded in reality know exactly what an open relationship implies and the kind of people who have them.

To read some not-so-surprising statistics about so-called gay couples and monogamy, click here.