Friday, September 30, 2005

Just Can Get Enough


Okay, I'll admit I was deeply disturbed when I heard a dance song I actually used to dance to, back in 1990, being used in a fuckin' Huggies diaper commercial (I have remixes for God's sake!). Now, thanks to the assholes over in the ad department over at Huggies, I now can't hear the song without envisioning a sassy 2 year old emerging from the bathroom, jubilantly throwing his hands into the air, having just pinched one off, while exclaiming "Me made dookies, Mommy!," while "Mommy" frantically claps like a retard. *sigh*

I was horrified when I heard Modern English's "I Melt With You," from one of my favorite 80's movies, Valley Girl, being used on a Ritz cracker commercial last Christmas. I was deeply offended when I heard a (bad) cover of a Depeche Mode song ("Just Can't Get Enough") on a cell phone commercial a few weeks ago (After some research, I'm glad to say I missed it the first time around, when apparently it was used in, of all things, a GAP commercial back in 1999...or perhaps I blacked it out). And now, I'm officially depressed; I just heard a New Order song ("Bizarre Love Triangle") being used for Payless Shoes. Is nothing sacred?!! What's next? Crystal Method's 'Bound Too Long' for a Feen-a-mint commercial? Aaaiiigggh! Why stop there? Let's pull out all the stops:

Culture Club's 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?' for Doan's
Huey Lewis & The News' 'I Want a New Drug' for Nexium
Human League's '(Keep Feeling) Fascination' for KY Warming Liquid
Pat Benatar's 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' for Depends
Stray Cats' '(She's) Sexy + 17' for Valtrex
Cyndi Lauper's 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' for ept Pregnancy Test

Whatever happened to "the jingle?" If there are any ad execs out there, I'd really like to see the jingle make a comeback. Get off your lazy asses and actually do some work, you bastards. You've turned into the movie industry, who now, instead of relying on original ideas/ingenuity, churn out remakes of movies that don't need to be remade, big-screen versions of television shows and CGI-laden cineturds. Come back to the five and dime, Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Princess Wild Cow said...

I just about shit when I was "singing" along with the tv to a dylan song and thought, "WTF", looked up and saw a car ad for a car I will never be able to afford.
Just shoot me now.

Friday, September 30, 2005 1:06:00 PM  
Anonymous ocB said...

my day just went from semi ok, to full on depression no thanks to this post lol. We are old. Just, old.

Saturday, October 01, 2005 6:07:00 PM  
Blogger Dennis! said...

The non-jingle that most upsets me is the American Red Cross post-Katrina ads which feature some horrific cover of "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Seriously, that guy sounds like someone at a cheap karaoke bar. Bleah.

vyjhkqsk

Sunday, October 02, 2005 12:07:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkkitsch said...

Princess Wild Cow-
Trust me, I feel your pain. Am I the only one who finds the fact that a Dylan song was being used for an upscale car commercial? I thought he was originally all about "the music." I guess our priorities change as we get older. His son, Jakob is a hottie, though. ROWR! How'd he manage that?! Proof that genetics is indeed a crap shoot.

OCB-
Oh, now. You're only as old as you feel. And I feel like a frisky 67 year old! *sigh*

Dennis!-
Oh, I so know the commercial you are referring to. And you're right, it is an AWFUL cover. I have to say I find it a little ridiculous to be using some catchy tune for a Red Cross commercial to begin with. What's that? Like everyone is gonna be at the watercooler the next day going "OMG, have you seen that new Red Cross commercial? I can't stop humming the tune!" Oy

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:04:00 PM  

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