Welcome to the Pepsi Doofus Generation

Sometimes when I get bored or have some free time, I like to chat online, and when I do, I opt for the Horror Movies chatroom on AOL. Here are some excerpts from various "conversations." None of them have been altered and appear just as they were originally typed. Perhaps you can figure out the reason why I don't go more often. *Names have not been changed to protect the retarded.

SIGH. Depressing isn't it it? Now you know why I am such an advocate of education. I feel like that old Indian (AKA Iron Eyes Cody) in those anti-litter commercials from the 70's. But, instead of litter, a single teardrop rolls solemnly down my cheek at the sight of today's teenagers trying to spell the word "massacre" or "exorcist."