Cursed: Girls Gone Mild

I bought Cursed last week (which I payed full price for, 'cause I figured HollyWood Video wouldn't have the Unrated version) and I just got around to watching it. I know this will probably not be a big shock to anyone out there, but it's not that great. But then, I didn't go into the movie expecting all that much, quite seriously, what with the "fresh-faced" WB-style cast and Kevin Williamson/Wes Craven at the helm. I deliberately bypassed seeing it at the theater for the main reason that I heard that they were releasing an unrated version to DVD, so I figured why shell out $8 to see it at the theater, if I know I'm going to buy it anyway.

First off, I have a love/hate relationship with werewolf movies. I LOVE them (The Wolf Man, The Howling, An American Werewolf in London, etc.), BUT they creep me OUT. I know it sounds silly, but werewolves are the only movie monster that genuinely creeps me out. I can thank The Howling for THAT! C R E E P Y. So, with that in mind, I figured I'd enjoy Cursed. Well, I did and I didn't. I have sort of mixed feelings about it.

The Pros:
• The opening car crash scene
• The the parking garage scene (sans the awful CGI)
• The nods to to classics like The Wolf Man, Universal Monsters, and Teen Wolf
• GREAT soundtrack (I am SO buying it)
• Joshua Jackson looks H-O-T
• I like werewolf movies
• Christina Ricci

The Cons:
• Too much BAD CGI
• The gorked out fucktard they cast to play Ricci's brother
• The queer scene where the dog goes all werewolf-y
• The gay character subplot
• The more deliberate, overly literal choices in music (i.e. Red Riding Hood, covered by Bowling For Soup, amongst others. Yeah, we get it, it's got a WOLF theme. Oy vey)
• Michael Rosenbaum's HORRIBLE wig
• Christina Ricci

I know you're going "But, how can you have Christina Ricci in BOTH columns?" Lemme explain. I like Christina Ricci, as an actress. As a person, in interviews I've seen she comes across as a high maintenance, overly moody self-appointed "artiste." However, this is not the issue I have with her in Cursed. She just looks weird in Cursed. She's too thin. She looks coked-out. Yes, I know, she's "growing up" et al, and I don't expect her to stay the "cherubic-faced" child star that she once was, but personally, I think she looks odd Hollywood-thin.

I mean, let's face it, you're born with certain features. For example, I have a round face. I hate it, but that's just how it is. It's genetic. Christina has a round face, too, and unfortunately, I think some people (even Ricci herself) view this as being "fat." I never considered her "fat" or "Rubenesque," I just viewed her as looking normal. Not skinny. Not fat. Just average. Then she goes and loses all this weight, which dramatically changes the shape of her face (she gets what I call "shoehorn chin"; think Anna Nicole Smith). In the film it looks like she fluctuates between her average weight and coked-out weight. Esp. if you compare the dream sequence scene to the scene where she's in the ladies room and starts to get wolf-y. And though she's normally a good actress, her performance seems forced and stunted. Throughout the entire film, I'm never convinced of any chemistry between her and Joshua Jackson's character nor her relationship with her brother.

And speaking of Joshua Jackson, he looks H-O-T in this movie. God, he looks so damn good! He's the reason I bought the movie, and in that respect I have no regrets. He makes the movie purchase-worthy for me. Don't judge me! You're sure as hell not buying those Jessica Biel, Jennifer Gardner or Jessica Alba movies for their tour-de-force acting. C'mon! What, me defensive?

Overall, the movie is 'alright.' If you're looking for chills, they are few and far between. Though, I did enjoy some scenes (see the Pros list), and I liked the look of the movie, overall it has too much CGI, not enough werewolf, a low bodycount and way too little suspense. And even though I love the genre, this one had the potential to be a lot better than it was.